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Par la Melon Fucker Team
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I hate Erazer.
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I really hate this guy.
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I don't get why they do this.
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Why do you write your name
like a hundred times?
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I like it.
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I prefer the old school stuff.
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"If you can read this,
then you're a massive bell end."
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Talking of which,
come on, tiger, out.
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What you doing?
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A piss.
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When little Rudy's got to go,
he's got to go.
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- Can't he do in the corner?
- He's clever, but not quite.
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You mean there in the corner?
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You enjoy?
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I was, it feels weird
now that you're watching.
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- You're pissing on my work.
- This is you, you made this shit?
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- You're Erazer.
- It is not shit, it's art.
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Funny Bangers 2, that's art, man.
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This is what sad lonely wankers do.
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No, thanks, aerosol, not any more.
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Just go and spray on another estate.
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I don't give two shits where
as long as I don't have to clean it all.
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What's going on?
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What the fuck is that supposed to be,
man?
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Fuck you!
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That's just rude...
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What happened?
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- I don't know.
- He does.
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Who are you?
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I'm Rudy.
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What are you doing here?
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You work with Erazer?
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No, I hate that dick.
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Are you okay?
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I reckon I've twisted my nut sack.
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You're bleeding.
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From my nut sack?
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From your head.
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We need to get you cleaned up.
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Come on.
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You wanker!
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Where is our mate?
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He graphite things
and they become real.
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Quick, before it closes.
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What the fuck?
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I think we're in his world.
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We swift into a parallel universe.
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A vortex, quantum physics and that.
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What?
I know these things.
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We need to find Rudy.
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This is so fucked-up.
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Alisha, do your thing.
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- I'm sorry.
- No, it's not you.
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It's the nut sack.
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You have a very gentle touch.
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He's at the community center,
I think trying to pull some girl.
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We are rescuing him,
and he trying to get laid?
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Unbelievable.
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Let's get the fuck out of here.
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- I didn't catch your name.
- Suzy!
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Suzy?
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Where are you?
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- I'll go and see what this cock wants.
- We need to talk.
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Please, let's just go home.
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To yours? I'll back to mine?
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Yours, if it's nearer.
It's probably cleaner than...
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Or if you can't wait.
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Here, it's cosy.
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He keeps telling me that he loves me
and doesn't let me leave.
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Get that.
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You don't know what he's capable of.
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Sweetheart,
you don't know what I'm capable of.
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Stay there.
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I might have locked us in there.
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I'll get us out of here.
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Why are you doing this to me?
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Because you love me.
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What is the deal you have
with this Erazer guy?
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I don't know.
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I've never seen this before.
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This is some weird shit.
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What is it?
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Run!
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Where is Alisha?
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Fetch!
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Simon, wait!
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I know what to do.
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Are you okay?
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Yeah. What was in that spray-gun?
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Turpentine, industrial strength.
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For fuck's sake,
let's just clean all around here.
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What for?
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- For making me feel...
- Horny?
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Moist?
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Safe.
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Safe?
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That's gorgeous.
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Smashing!
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When all this craziness is calm down,
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I think we should go out.
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I love steak, big steaks.
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I love big chips.
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I love starter.
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Go disco dancing.
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Paint the town red!
I mean, not literally in red.
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That'd be stupid,
I'd have to clean it up again.
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It'd be a dickhead move.
I don't do dickhead move.
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I'm all right. I banged myself a bit.
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Rudy is through there,
spray the bars.
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It's all right, they're my mates.
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This is Suzy.
My new bird.
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I'm gonna have the chance
to catch her later.
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We need to get back
to the portal near the lake.
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Just so you know,
usually I'm the leader.
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I'm a bit exhausted,
it's why I feel traumatized.
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We're leaving.
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Not with Suzy.
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You can't leave here.
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Fucking dickhead.
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She can leave the fuck she likes.
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Hang on,
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there's something I need to do first.
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For fuck's sake.
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Come to live,
my spunky little friend.
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It only works when it does it.
Let's get outta here.
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Stop.
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Wait.
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- Has he ever left with this dick?
- Suzy, wait.
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Get away from me.
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This isn't real.
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I was never there.
You created it.
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Suzy, don't do that.
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What's happening to me?
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The real Suzy left me.
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I couldn't live without her...
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I'm not real!
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I'm made of paint.
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I can't leave.
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I don't exist out there.
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Paint the town red for me.
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We need to clean that off.
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Wait...
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I'm sorry.
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What for?
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I dunno.
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For pissing on your graffiti.
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Don't worry about.
It doesn't matter anymore.
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You want a pint?
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I just have an interest,
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how a massive juicing cock
would help the situation?
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It wouldn't.
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I just thought it would be nice
to see him walking down the street
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with his fat little hairy bollocks
for legs.
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Have you thought of it?
