Par la Melon Fucker Team
I hate Erazer.
I really hate this guy.
I don't get why they do this.
Why do you write your name like a hundred times?
I like it.
I prefer the old school stuff.
"If you can read this, then you're a massive bell end."
Talking of which, come on, tiger, out.
What you doing?
A piss.
When little Rudy's got to go, he's got to go.
- Can't he do in the corner? - He's clever, but not quite.
You mean there in the corner?
You enjoy?
I was, it feels weird now that you're watching.
- You're pissing on my work. - This is you, you made this shit?
- You're Erazer. - It is not shit, it's art.
Funny Bangers 2, that's art, man.
This is what sad lonely wankers do.
No, thanks, aerosol, not any more.
Just go and spray on another estate.
I don't give two shits where as long as I don't have to clean it all.
What's going on?
What the fuck is that supposed to be, man?
Fuck you!
That's just rude...
What happened?
- I don't know. - He does.
Who are you?
I'm Rudy.
What are you doing here?
You work with Erazer?
No, I hate that dick.
Are you okay?
I reckon I've twisted my nut sack.
You're bleeding.
From my nut sack?
From your head.
We need to get you cleaned up.
Come on.
You wanker!
Where is our mate?
He graphite things and they become real.
Quick, before it closes.
What the fuck?
I think we're in his world.
We swift into a parallel universe.
A vortex, quantum physics and that.
What? I know these things.
We need to find Rudy.
This is so fucked-up.
Alisha, do your thing.
- I'm sorry. - No, it's not you.
It's the nut sack.
You have a very gentle touch.
He's at the community center, I think trying to pull some girl.
We are rescuing him, and he trying to get laid?
Unbelievable.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
- I didn't catch your name. - Suzy!
Suzy?
Where are you?
- I'll go and see what this cock wants. - We need to talk.
Please, let's just go home.
To yours? I'll back to mine?
Yours, if it's nearer. It's probably cleaner than...
Or if you can't wait.
Here, it's cosy.
He keeps telling me that he loves me and doesn't let me leave.
Get that.
You don't know what he's capable of.
Sweetheart, you don't know what I'm capable of.
Stay there.
I might have locked us in there.
I'll get us out of here.
Why are you doing this to me?
Because you love me.
What is the deal you have with this Erazer guy?
I don't know.
I've never seen this before.
This is some weird shit.
What is it?
Run!
Where is Alisha?
Fetch!
Simon, wait!
I know what to do.
Are you okay?
Yeah. What was in that spray-gun?
Turpentine, industrial strength.
For fuck's sake, let's just clean all around here.
What for?
- For making me feel... - Horny?
Moist?
Safe.
Safe?
That's gorgeous.
Smashing!
When all this craziness is calm down,
I think we should go out.
I love steak, big steaks.
I love big chips.
I love starter.
Go disco dancing.
Paint the town red! I mean, not literally in red.
That'd be stupid, I'd have to clean it up again.
It'd be a dickhead move. I don't do dickhead move.
I'm all right. I banged myself a bit.
Rudy is through there, spray the bars.
It's all right, they're my mates.
This is Suzy. My new bird.
I'm gonna have the chance to catch her later.
We need to get back to the portal near the lake.
Just so you know, usually I'm the leader.
I'm a bit exhausted, it's why I feel traumatized.
We're leaving.
Not with Suzy.
You can't leave here.
Fucking dickhead.
She can leave the fuck she likes.
Hang on,
there's something I need to do first.
For fuck's sake.
Come to live, my spunky little friend.
It only works when it does it. Let's get outta here.
Stop.
Wait.
- Has he ever left with this dick? - Suzy, wait.
Get away from me.
This isn't real.
I was never there. You created it.
Suzy, don't do that.
What's happening to me?
The real Suzy left me.
I couldn't live without her...
I'm not real!
I'm made of paint.
I can't leave.
I don't exist out there.
Paint the town red for me.
We need to clean that off.
Wait...
I'm sorry.
What for?
I dunno.
For pissing on your graffiti.
Don't worry about. It doesn't matter anymore.
You want a pint?
I just have an interest,
how a massive juicing cock would help the situation?
It wouldn't.
I just thought it would be nice to see him walking down the street
with his fat little hairy bollocks for legs.
Have you thought of it?