ESPN The Magazine: Ron Burgundy interviews Peyton Manning

Ron Burgundy interviews Peyton Manning for ESPN.

Hello, America, Mexico and remote parts of Canada.

This is Ron Burgundy reporting for ESPN,
or "EhSPin", as it's known in the biz.

My guest today is none other than future
Hall of Fame quarterback, Peyton Manning.

Peyton, can you hear me?

I sure can, Ron, and it's an honor
to be talking to you.

Peyton, can you hear me?

Yes, Ron, I can. Very clearly.
Can you hear me, Ron?

Yes, loud and clear. Can you hear me?

What do you think?

I think..Yes, you can hear me.
I just want to make sure it's you, Peyton.

I remember once before the 1978 Holiday Bowl...

I thought I was interviewing the great Phil McConkey
and instead I was talking to the back-up kicker.

I felt like a fool. The boys at the station had
quite a laugh at my expense so I'm just making sure.

I actually remember that game, Ron..

I think Navy squeaked one out at the old Murph.

I was 2 years old.

Helluva game! Halluva battle!

Peyton, here's something I've
gotta ask you right out of the gate...

You are one of the great quarterbacks
playing the game today.

You've had a lot of success and yet,
you've done it all without a mustache.

You're running around out there
and I'm gonna be honest with you.

You look like a succulent baby lamb! Okay?

Now let's face it, all of the great NFL
quarterbacks have had mustaches.

Joe Namath, Jeff Hotstetler,
Jeff Gee-orge, Randall Kuhn-ingham,

Mark Mow-lone, Colt McCoy, Burt Reynolds...

the guy from Barney Miller, Mike Farrell from MASH...
The list goes on and on!

Barney Miller, um..Well, first off, Ron,
some of those guys weren't quarterbacks...

..as far as I know and I guess, to tell
you the truth, I never had much of a desire...

-..to grow any facial hair.
-Uh huh.

I think I've managed to play
quarterback okay without a mustache.

Eli tried to grow one a while back
without much success I have to say.

I saw that! It did NOT look good.

Looked like his upper lip was caked
in a a mixture of liquid dog crap and cocaine.

(Laughing) Easy, Ron, yeah, that is my brother.

Um, I do agree, though. It wasn't very well groomed.

Sorry, sorry, yes, I didn't mean to get that graphic.

You've played against some tremendous
defensive players over the years...

..and I have to ask you: what's it like
getting sacked by Merlin Olsen?

-Merlin Olsen.
-Yes.

Ron, I'm pretty sure I was 4 years old
when Merlin Olsen retired.

Maybe. Maybe not.

Regardless, I was actually thinking about the time
Merlin tackled me at his bungalow in Burbank.

What a night!

You know Merlin and I were very close.

I think I did read that somewhere.

Yes, I miss him.

So you play in Denver for the Broncos
at Mile High Stadium.

Correct.

Tell me about your relationship with Thunder.

-Our mascot?
-Yes.

-Thunder?
-Yes.

Um, you're talking about the horse that runs...

..up and down the field every time the Broncos score.

OH yes! I've had my eye
on that wonderful beast for decades.

-(Laughing) Is that right?
-Yes.

I didn't...Ron, I didn't really picture
you as a guy who played the ponies.

Well, indeed I do.

I gotta tell you, Ron, I wasn't really prepared
for this interview to go in this direction.

Speaking of preparation, I understand
that is one of your calling cards.

Preparation, that is. Recognizing coverages,
making calls at the line of scrimmage.

You're actually right, Ron.

I firmly believe that preparation is a huge part
of my game, really all quarterbacks,

and I certainly think it gives
me an advantage on Sundays.

Oh, sure, sure, I mean I know.
I played a little in my day.

San Diego...San Diego State -
scout team quarterback.

I used to yell out "Chekhov!" all the time. Chekhov!

No clue what it meant but when I
saw someone on that defense move,

I just yelled, "Chekhov! Chekhov!"
Is that pretty much what you do?

-It's not exactly what I do--
-Uh huh.

but you're somewhere on the right track, Ron.
You're close to being on the right track.

Peyton, let me ask you this - Do you
ever just yell things to throw the defense off?

Things that make no sense?

Absolutely! All the time.

Can you give me an example?

Well, Ron, sometimes I'll just yell
"underpants!" over and over again.

Or maybe, I'll change it up with oven mitt.

- Maybe oven mitt.
-Okay.

Have you ever yelled, "Biscuits and Gravy"?

-Biscuits and gravy is probably one of our best plays.
-Hmm.

I've yelled "magic man". I've yelled "baby got back".

And the defense is just
terribly confused at this point.

Absolutely, they're horribly confused
but my offense is as well...

..'cause it's good to keep your own
offensive players on their toes.

Bingo!

And that's why Peyton Manning is the best in the biz.

Peyton, before I let you go,
a lot of attention has been given...

..to you and your two brothers, eLI... Is it eLI or Elly?

-Eli.
-Oh, Eli, sorry sorry.

So a lot of attention to you
and your brothers, Eli and Cooper,

but few people know
about the fourth Manning brother.

Danielle Manning, who's currently playing strong
safety for the Texans and is African American.

Tell me a little about Danielle Manning.

-Well, Ron, I hate to break it to you--
-Yeah?

Um, there is not a fourth Manning
brother named Danielle Manning.

He is a heck of a football player.

I've played against him a lot but we are not related.

Okay. Well, good to know
and some one here at EhSPiN...

..in the research department is going to be fired.

So there isn't any truth
to the rumor of a Manning sister?

Gloria Manning, who weighed 285 pounds
as a freshman in high school...

..and ran a 4.3 40 and was frankly
a better football player than all of you?

Ron, how did you find out about my sister, Gloria?

It's, it's what I do! Ha ha!

Well, Peyton, that's all the time we have.

I wanna thank you, my guest Peyton Manning,
for coming on here with me.

You are a dear, dear friend.

Thanks a lot. As you are as well, Don.

HA HA! Very funny! Uh, well good luck
on Sunday and we'll be right back...