I just changed my attitude and everything changed | Juan Bautista Segonds | TEDxSanIsidro

Bautista has taken on many activities to promote peace through the values of the game of rugby, and shares with us valuable stories to inspire us to resolve conflicts through non-violence.

in 2009, he founded Rugby Without Borders, with the objective of training people in the values to build a community that lives in harmony and in peace, through training and high impact events.

Noteworthy are the missions of peace in the Malvinas Islands, the Gaza Strip (where he brought together Israeli and Palestinian kids during an armed conflict), in France, in the Fray Bentos bridge, the homage paid to the survivors of the Tragedy of the Andes, the homage to Nelson Mandela in South Africa, and in London the foundation brought together Argentine and British war veterans in a rugby match for peace.

He currently works as a coordinator for the "Values" program in the development team of the Argentine Tennis Association and with the Argentine Davis Cup team; working also with high performance athletes, and business and social leaders.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

Good afternoon.
Wow! How good it is to be here.

Nice to see so many attentive faces!

I will start my talk with a pact with you.

Science has determined that we are a
source of energy and that when we think

we emit an electromagnetic frequency.

It can be measured.

We can also measure the
electromagnetic frequency emitted

by our heart, our emotion.

And it's been proven that our emotions

are a thousand times stronger
than our thoughts.

The electromagnetic frequency emitted
by our thoughts is measured

and when we measure the frequency
emitted by our heart,

it's a thousand times higher.

So I'll do as my grandma said,

"Kid, talk from the heart."

My pact with you is that

I will speak from the heart.

If you open your hearts you
will surely receive 1000 percent

of what I say.

If we are trapped only in the mind
we'll surely receive only a fraction.

So this is my pact.

To start my talk I'll ask you
a quick question,

mostly for the front rows
to put you in context.

How is our society doing today?

Raise your hand and give me
three of four answers.

Quick,

Separated,

Stressed,

Revolutionized.

Confused. Aggressive. Confrontational.

A decadent West. Good.

In my conferences let you give up to
30 or 40 chances to reply

this kind of answers.

You saw the replies I got, right?

And then I ask another question:

Is anybody in this room happy?
Raise your hand all that are happy.

Wow!

The happy ones, raise your hand.

Hey!

There are some 500-600 people here
and nearly all raised their hand.

I guarantee that if I gave you
100 chances to answer my question,

How is our society today?
None of you would have said

neither happy nor joyful.

Who are you? Who are we?

Where is our society?

When we talk about society,
what do we mean?

Because here 100 percent
of our society is happy.

If I had asked 100 more questions,
we'd have 100 more answers, saying

along those lines -- lost, faithless,
conflicted, demoralized.

You know what that is called?

It's called: Crisis-oriented mind.

When we are asked,
the first thing we mention is

all that's missing,
that's wrong, what we see.

We are tied into the information media
where the answers they give --

Sometimes we go to schools,
we take the newspaper for the kids,

and we tell them look for good news,
bad news and neutral news.

That day's newspaper, right?

How many good or neutral news
do you think they find? One, two.

So this is what happens to us
when we casually ask a question,

or feel an impulse about how we see our
society and then we have another problem

related to sports, that are in fashion.

When I ask this, they tell me:
Football, basketball, rugby; OK, good.

I will tell you the sports that
are in fashion, as I see it, today:

Firstly, our national sport, complaining.

We complain about absolutely everything,
did you see that? First about the weather.

Man, how hot it is!
January 3rd, 3pm. Wow, how crazy!

How cold it is! July 7th, 7am.

First we complain about the weather,
then we complain about the traffic.

Then we complain about the country,
then we complain about our wives.

And if we do not complain about anything,
something is wrong.

When they ask me, How are you?

Perfectly, I'm exploding with happiness.
They say, what happened?

Nothing to complain about?

So, we have transformed
into a society of "complainerists."

It's like a degree we earned.
We complain about everything.

We have a second national sport,
that is related to our demands:

This cannot be. This must change.
This is a disaster. Have you seen this?

This must change. It must change,
country, society, wife, work.

All the time we are making demands.

We become "demanderists."

We are "complainerist," "demanderists"

and worse, "opinionists"
and "everythingists."

We have an opinion about everything.
Did you notice?

Have you ever heard anyone say,
"I don't know enough to give an opinion."

We give an opinion about everything,
I try it out with my friends.

I have a friend, Fernando,
I get in his truck and say:

My cellphone is out of battery.

Ah, you know why you are out of battery?
Because the cellphone --

Did you see that soybeans are up?
You know why soybeans are up --

Did you hear the dollar is dropping?
It's dropping because -- We know everything.

We have an opinion
about economy, politics --

And more worrisome,

we have started to have
a crisis-oriented mind,

we complain, make demands
and are submerged in opinions.

Which has made us fall into
a sort of vital stagnation.

You see that we leave home with
our cellphone charged 100 percent

and also we take the charger,
just in case it's not fully charged.

But with our energy on "low bat."

We start the day with a vital stagnation,
or a type of exhaustion

that also makes us lose power.

Because if to be well we need everything
to change, that the country works well,

that the climate isn't whatever,
because recently I was in Mendoza

to give a talk, I was with a driver
and I say: "What a wonderful day."

And the driver says: "Yes, but rain
is forecasted for tomorrow" (Laughter)

That the way it is, we go losing power,
and there is something that,

I want to focus on.

Not only are we in this society and leave
behind this society, especially

our generation we have left
a society with a moral crisis,

that not even the most perverse minds
of our grandparents could even imagine.

Conflicted, breaking apart.
But we are also making our children think

that we are good for nothing,
that we are corrupt, liars,

that the model for success is fame
and money, and that we have no future.

No only do we leave this, but
we also make them believe this.

Which is represented by this phrase:
You see how we Argentines are?

What do you expect? We are in Argentina!

Have we heard this?

And if this happens worldwide:
What can we do?

Not only do we leave our society like
this, but we also make them believe

the future generations,
that they cannot change it.

Horrifying!
A self-fulfilling prophecy.

Now, for a long time I was there
and I started to understand or believe

that knowledge was important.

So I studied -- that skills

were important to get out
of that world I lived in,

where I was always complaining,
it was hell.

That talent was important, I had to
have talent, I had to have experience

and I studied more about this, and
saw that it all added up, added up.

So I searched for more knowledge,
more skills,

but one day I discovered
something wonderful.

That all these things add up,
but attitude multiplies.

Attitude multiplies.

And you know that any amount
times zero, is zero.

If your attitude towards life is zero,
you are a zero person.

If you have a negative attitude,
you are a negative person.

If you have a pessimist attitude,
you are a pessimist person.

And if you have a shitty attitude,
you are a shitty person. I'm sorry.

So I started to say to myself, OK,
how do I get out of this attitude?

How do I get out of this position?

And at first nothing changed,

only my attitude changed,
and everything changed.

I decided to change my attitude,
get out of that victim mentality

that I had about everything, and
started being the protagonist of my life.

I started to decide that I was who
would look for the changes I wanted.

I got out of the victim posture,
of constantly excusing, criticizing,

complaining and started to prove
what happened as a protagonist

and the first thing I saw was that
the protagonist leads his square meter.

This square meter that I have,
is up to me. Each one of you has it.

One square meter, it's up to you,
no one but you, and me.

And you know what?
Here in this square meter

I vibrate the energy I want to vibrate.

This square meter lives in a respectful
world, that is why I wear a shirt

that says "I respect." I don't care what
you do, or yes, but I want to give you

my example because I'm the leader
of my square meter.

I started to show what I wanted to see,
to decide to live in a different world.

Because I lived in hell,
went through hell.

Today I remembered a day
I was on the subway and told a guy:

"Give me three reasons why I should
go on living." Wow, I was in a bad way!

I was in hell and now live in paradise.

Today I explode with happiness
every day of my life.

And I live in love, fulfilled.

But hell and heaven is not a place.
It's a decision.

Because hell is right there,
I can go back tomorrow, it's a decision.

Where I start to see all I'm missing,
and not all I have.

Where I make demands all the time
and give opinions constantly,

and stop worrying about showing,
about leading, about educating.

Because my square meter vibrates however
I want. And you know you are what you do,

but also what you don't do.

If we are all the time waiting for
somebody to change this

we are lost, guys!

So, we are what we do, but
also we are what we don't do.

Not everybody has the same chances,
not all of us have the same chances.

I started to educate, they say
there are many ways to educate.

For me there is only one.

By being an example.

Every time we do something,
someone is watching us.

So, this is the way to educate.
Being the image of what we want to see.

Starting from our square meter,
emitting energy first,

with a protagonist's attitude.
I'm the protagonist of my life.

I am the one that wants to change things.
The protagonist is a change agent,

he's not waiting for someone
to sort out his life.

And from my square meter be helpful,
start emitting optimistic energy,

because you know what, from the people
you contact, you get infected.

So if you are in a group of pessimists,
you become a pessimist.

In a group of losers, you become a loser.

In an unhappy group, you become unhappy.

If you start from your square meter to
infect others with solidarity, optimism,

You start to emit that energy. Because,
what energy is your square meter emitting?

From wherever you are.

Because it's not important what we do.

It's important that we do it

with all the love in the world.

This Easter I went to buy
a kilo of ice cream to a shop,

any shop, no advertising,

I say to the girl: "Happy Easter."
She says: "300 people came by,

and you are the first one that says
Happy Easter," so I say,

"You said Happy Easter to all of them?"
"No," she says.

What are you waiting for?
What are you emitting?

What is your square meter emitting?
What are you focused on?

Are you emitting respect?
Are you emitting connection?

Emitting gratitude?
Emitting unconditional love?

What are you emitting?
What are you doing?

Because we are a source of energy,
and according to what you emit

is what you receive.

It's like AM-FM

If you are in AM and go from one end of AM
to the other end, you are going to hear AM

if you change the frequency, you are in FM
another melody is playing.

And within FM the frequencies
that you want to hear, you can choose.

But if you are in AM, even if you scan
from end to end, that's all you will hear.

So, the world is what we make of it.

I live in paradise,
but hell is one decision away.

If I start my morning and start saying --
my first match is against myself,

Oh! Do I get up or not?
OK, I'll get up.

Do I get up with a good or bad mood?

With bad mood, or no ... with good mood.

Good attitude or bad attitude?

I look at all that I have
or look at all that I lack.

They are all decisions,
all small differences.

Excellence or mediocrity,
are this close.

The road you choose is a Y.

From the moment you get up:
Are you victim or protagonist?

Are you going to show what you want
to build for the coming generations?

or are you functional to the interests
that are ruling us

and guiding us by our noses, domesticated?

People are shepherded using fear.

My father left me a huge inheritance.

He always told me:
"I've never had money or fear."

OK, let's get educated, let's be
every day more sure of ourselves.

I'll tell you about two life experiences,
with the foundation Rugby Without Borders.

Which is a great blessing.

I invite you to get to know it,
to get to know what we do.

Las week we joined war veterans,
Argentine and British,

a Royal Marine, a Gurkha,
together with Argentine veterans

and together they sent out a message
of reunion. That nobody won.

And you know who closed the meeting?
My 12 year old nephew.

You know what he said?

Land for life.
What measurement is that?

If I was taught that
they were the bad guys

and now I see the bad guys
suffered as much as the good guys.

No. Our generation must understand
that war is not a tool.

12 years old, Ignacio Segonds.
I invite you to see him.

And I tell you two life stories
I was blessed to live

with the foundation Rugby Without Borders.

In 2012, I went to the Gaza Strip, a
conflict between Israelis and Palestinians

that has been going on for 70 years.

A place where my attitude was of lacking,
I thought I lacked many things

and I understood that all the time
I was worried about the things I lacked.

One morning I see a Palestinian woman,
in Bethlehem, she comes and hugs

another woman and they celebrate, enjoy.
So I say "What are they celebrating?"

And the translator says it's because
they have their water tank filled.

What does this mean? That they
have clean drinking water

in their home to drink all week.

They are celebrating that because
her family and her will drink water.

And they celebrate, right?

And in the afternoon a little kid of 10,
I ask him, "Do you know about

the genie in Aladdin's lamp?"
Through the translator, right?

He says "No, I have no idea."

So we explain who is the genie
from Aladdin's lamp.

And I say, if I gave you a wish,
what would you ask?

The kid looks at me all emotional
and says, "A bath with hot water."

That was his big wish, right?

And at that moment I was connected
all the time with the things I lacked.

And I realized that since I was born
I never thought about drinking water,

if I would be able to bathe,
if I would have a place to sleep.

I lived in the same physical space,
with the same situations,

but my attitude changed.

I move from the world of lacking
to the world of abundance,

I realized all that I had.

And to finish, with this story,
I want to propose an exercise.

To all of you, in this state we are now.

The exercise will have three steps.

First, close your eyes, everyone,

close your eyes and imagine now
all the things we have

but we don't value, don't think about,
like the fact that we have

a place to sleep, we can bathe,
have water.

Start making a mental list
of the things we don't realize we have

we don't give thanks for. Like our health,
or the chances we have,

like our senses, our friends.

So many things we take for granted,
and we never list.

The second part of this exercise is for

all the people in this room

that feel they have been

blessed or chosen because
of all the things they have.

All the people that are
profoundly grateful for

the list of things they just made, express

your gratitude standing up,

clapping as hard as you can,
shouting, do whatever you want.

Express the gratitude you feel for
the things you have received in life,

if that is what you feel in this moment,
from this time on.

Stand up and clap loudly.
(Applause)

I want to see you all shouting,
for what we have.

For what we have received,
for the love of those we love,

for the abundance in which we live.

For the things we don't notice.
(Applause continues)

because we can be
the protagonists of our lives.

(Applause continues)

You can shout, climb on the chairs,
do whatever you want.

We live in a blessed time and society.

Well done. Well done there. Keep it up.

Way up! That is the gratitude
we must express.

For all we have.
(Applause continues)

Great, great, that's it.
(Applause continues)

Good.

Good.

And stay like that.

Stay like that for a moment.

The longest road

is four palms away,

when we manage to go down from our head,
and we connect with our heart

or with our emotions.

When we can account for

all we have and not for what we lack.

When we realize that hell and heaven
are not places

but a decision.

We manage to turn off the turbo,
for a moment.

And now I will ask you

to anchor into this moment, this
we have just felt, this feeling,

and that every day when you go
to shower, remember that

there is a place in this world,
where a 10 year old child

asks Aladdin's genie,

for what you are about to do.

And therefore, realize

that we can choose the path
we will walk down

if we are going to hell
or if we are going to heaven.

Thank you, good afternoon.

(Applause)