Rodzinka.pl - S01E03

Look, what an awful kid...

What a brat...

Where is that?

It was on holidays at the seaside..

That's when we met.

You and mom?

Yes. Those were...

very nice holidays.

- Very. - Very.

It seems that they were super boring.

It's your car?

Cool, huh?

You had Mercedes Cabrio?

From grandpa.

I can't believe that.

"I can't believe, I can't believe", so look here.

You sold such a ride?

Tomek... it was a sports car, so no place for you...

We had to.

Well, if I had such a car I'd forget about kids.

I told you it made no sense.

Selling this Mercedes was the biggest mistake

in our life.

family.pl

POCKET MONEY

Excuse me, could you give me one reasonable reason

why you put an empty bottle in the fridge?

Bin is full.

Oh.

Mom, dad!

Wow, sweetie!

5 from math for semester?

Congratulations!

If it goes like this I guess you'll become a banker.

I'd be good at that!

I'm proud of you, son!

What about my 100zł?

Wait, wait...

You'll get 100zł if your GPA is over 4 from everything.

Not only math.

Yeah, but recently I've done much better at school,

and program is much harder.

So if I ever got 3 at something, and now I have 3+

then it's almost like I got 4

Now they give more homework and demand more...

Don't be like that... Give him.

Dad, it's nothing for you...

Wha..wha..what, what? "For you"?

Do you know how much your maintenance costs?

Ludwik...

Do you know how much I pay for gas to drive you to trainings?

Pocket money, gifts, clothes... you know?

Gadgets.

You know?

I wonder who did he take after...

Hot water?

Bills for hot water?

Indicator speeds like that!

When you take your showers.

Yes, but if it wasn't for me, you couldn't use tax relief!

I think I know who will fill in tax return form next year.

Yeah. And btw, I love you a lot, and this is priceless.

Yeah.

Bank will always soak you...

just... til the end...

I'll have birthday!

Shut up.

Calm down, gentlemen!

You're jelly, you're jelly!

Cos your bday is in 10 months,

and mine is in 2 weeks!

I don't care about gifts.

Good to know. We'll save some money.

Telescope.

It's not a telescope.

Telescopes are for retards!

YOU ARE A RETARD!

I said calm down!

Eat!

What about... eat!

Drum kit?

What?

Cool! I'll get a drum kit! I'll get a drum kit!

Hey, but that's not fair. I got only a book and 2 CDs.

Kacper!

And you, don't let him provoke you so easily!

Listen... maybe we'll give him...

What miss Krysia gave to my boss?

Miss Krysia? Okay, fine...

just what will Kacper do with chlamydia?

What did she give?

She gave him chlamydia, you know son?

Cool, I'll get chlamydia!

That's not fair, he'll have chlamydia and I won't.

Cos it's my birthday, not yours, conehead!

Kacper!

Isn't chlamydia...

a venereal disease?

Look, I even know what time it is in Bangkok.

Where?

Bangkok is a city, in Asia.

Aha... but why do you need it?

If I wanted to go to Bangkok.

Super!

And this is a stopwatch, it measures time.

What do you need it for?

You run around the house, right?

It measures time of one lap. You continue running.

It still measures.

Later, I'll tell you your time on every lap.

Wow...

Wanna try?

Yes, but I don't want to run around the house.

Mhm.

So clean the room, and I'll measure your time.

But we live here together,

why do you want me to clean it by myself?

Cos this is my watch.

Yeah, right!

I bet you won't clean it all in 10 minutes.

10 minutes?

9.5! Look!

Ok, so - ready?

Ready, set, go!

Is it nice to egg on your brother?

He wanted to.

What is my time with dirty socks?

10 seconds.

Perfect manipulation.

It's not my fault he's so self confident.

I'll beat my own record!

You see?

Move, move! If it goes like that,

you won't finish before dinner!

What else?

My whole bed! And yours!

Hurry!

I bet you can't fold those clothes in 10 minutes.

In 10 minutes?

Mhm.

You're right.

I can't.

You're right.

Dad, why are you gasping?

Cos I do, cos fuel is more expensive again!

We should rise in revolt!

Can I have a juice, please?

You sweat bullets, and they only want to steal,

to make a pile, you know...

So far we're not dying of starvation, right?

So far! It's a highway robbery!

What does it mean?

Robbery? Mugging? Injustice.

If we united, and fought them together,

maybe they would finally, maybe they'd begin,

maybe they could be, maybe they'd reckon with us!

I made too strong coffee.

No, jokes are jokes, but we should do it

in the name of the sacred, civic entity.

Unity.

Not this, just, like that and then the other way.

Maybe, let's then, start using buses?

An hour and a half, one way!

You can't have everything.

So how much is a liter of gas now?

5 złotych!

Get it, 5 złotych?!

Like juice!

- So what... - And nobody complains.

Enough of this!

We took up, we have to take up a fight, man!

And? Did you find them?

Without any problem!

Look, they're awesome!

Yeah, they're pretty...

- Hey! - Cool, indeed.

The newest model, nobody at school has them yet!

Cool! They're cool!

You know what size?

Shoot.

6!

6?

Nice caliber.

It's incredible how fast guys' feet grow.

Not only...

What do you mean?

Belly, of course.

Thanks.

Here!

Mom, will you make me popcorn?

I'm almost done, darling.

You can't do it yourself?

You don't...

Calm down.

You know how?

- Sure! - Yes?

You put popcorn into microwave,

press this button with a picture of popcorn,

when it beeps, you take it out, ok?

Ok.

I hope you know what you're doing.

What could possibly happen?

You'll see.

What do you mean?

Nothing, nothing.

Just a feeling.

Ehh, you and your intuition.

Kuba...

Tomek...

Hey, why did he get 20 zł more than me?

Because I'm older?

He mowed the lawn.

I'll mow too.

You're too young. You may need toes in the future.

Besides, the lawn is for adults.

And I threw out the trash yesterday.

To throw out the trash and to mow the lawn

is not the same.

Dad, bag was very heavy, and it could end very badly.

But you came through this test somehow...

And I was doing my bed whole week.

No way! Really?

Okay. 5 zł.

Ahh, so you like order.

Evenly cut grass, tidy bed, but no,

stink of garbage remains didn't bother you...

Come on...

No dad, he's kinda right, maybe throwing out

the trash isn't as spectacular as mowing the lawn,

but hygiene - important thing.

That's right. And for hygiene you have to pay.

Fine.

But I was also making Kuba's bed.

3 times this week.

You made Kuba's bed?

I didn't force him.

I just said that if he doesn't, I won't play with him.

Give it back.

- But... - Give it back!

Give it!

Yeah... but I made it, didn't I?

Of course, you did, and here you go - 20zł more.

But that's all.

I also washed dishes.

I brought potatoes from the basement.

And I brushed my teeth.

And... come one, dude, don't compromise yourself.

Who did you take after, greedy leeches...

Could anyone help me?

- Sure! - Of course!

And me?

What have you done with them?

Nothing, it's their payday.

At least we'll have more time for each other now.

Cos you know, sweetie. I feel like doing something crazy.

Cool, but I have to warn you. I'm penniless.

I accept credit cards.

Mom, could you pour water into the tub?

Son, I'm watching news now.

When it's over I'll come to you, ok?

He's a big boy, I think he can do it on his own.

Come on, alone?

He has to learn one day.

Will you do it?

Sure!

You know how?

Be careful not to burn, yeah?

Not to burn, and not too much water.

Sure.

Prance!

Are you sure he'll be fine? He won't burn himself?

He won't, he won't.

Smart, wise boy he is.

Well, yeah but...

What 'but'?

Nothing, I just have a feeling.

Your "feelings"!

"But"!

There are no clean cups?

Check in the dishwasher.

Tomek, you'll be late again.

Come on...

Are you looking for something?

No, I'm fine.

Tomek!

Tomek!

Could you throw out the trash?

It's Kuba's department.

But he's not home.

Could you do it now?

In a minute, let me finish, ok?

You'll finish after you throw it out.

Mom, wait a second, I can't leave everything like that

and go throw out the trash, I'm on level 5!

That's great but garbage truck is just passing our home,

so I'm begging you, stop discussing, and just

throw it out when I ask you!

Child labor slavery, you know it's an offense?

Child labor slavery?

Do you get pocket money for pretty eyes?

Ok, fine. Cheap labor.

Does this cheap labor know, how much its

maintenance costs?

Mom, those are parents' duties,

you won't get round it!

In my opinion, you should deduct 5zł from

Kuba's pocket money, and add it to mine.

Tomek, don't you go overboard?

Unless I can take this as an open-ended contract,

then I can give you a discount.

You want to give me a discount?!

I can give a discount to you!

Do you realize how much we pay for your jeans,

your shoes, your sweatshirts, your summer holidays,

your winter holidays, your bikes, your snowboards,

your games, xboxes, iPods, and all the rest?!

Mommy, iPod was from my grandma!

Ok! iPod doesn't count!

You want 5zł for throwing out the trash?

Hold it!

Since now, you're paying for your phone!

I'll knock on your forehead, turd.

Throwing garbage at me...

This mobile phone was too much!

But since now we're even!

Shut up!

It's mom!

What's her expression like?

Like a woman who parks a car!

But good or bad mood?

I'd say: her lips were in good mood, but eyes in bad!

I'd put it like that - she looks like she's ready for everything.

Listen, everything like we set it, ok?

This is our only chance, only rescue.

- Hey! - Hey!

Woow! Mom, you look so pretty!

Like a snowman in the rain!

You lost at least 10 pounds!

A bag of bones.

You look great, darling.

Thank you, sweethearts, you're very kind today.

But unfortunatelly, it's still far from my goal,

we have to continue this diet.

Mom, I have enough of steamed veggies without salt.

I have broccoli nightmares at night!

Ok, I understand, you're tired, but you have to stand

one more month!

And after that, I promise I'll make a huge cake

with whipped cream, ok?

Couldn't you make at least some small cookies?

Ok, guys, let's not panic.

It may be beneficial for us.

Vegiess are, after all, very very good.

You're so sweet.

But...somehow...

those veggies smell kinda like bacon.

New hand cream, ecological.

Oh?

Show me.

Oh, you use it too?

Well, it's a new cream, balm, for hands.

On the basis of chives, and...

the best for dry skin.

I know! I know!

"Like a snowflake in the spring's sun"!

Now I got it right, didn't I?

Yeah, you did.

A little bit too late.

Ok, sweetie.

Ok.

Kisses, bye bye!

Who was that?

Kacper.

He'll stay for a dinner at Filip's.

What about Kuba and Tomek?

They will too.

That's great.

At least once this gang will eat dinner at Filip's.

When they were here last time

they cleaned the fridge to scratch.

Good, that they didn't murder those...

those lightbulbs.

Does it mean we will have a romantic dinner for two?

Well, ya know...

I guess there's one bottle of good wine left...

Don't you want to sexually abuse me, by any chance?

Oh, there is the rub...

You know what...

I guess...

that it's not a coincidence.

You want one more Divine? (it's their surname)

You know what?

You know, we're pretty good with making boys...

The more that they're not home...

So maybe we'll work on a girl tonight?

With your genes? Pipe dream!

You know, I have a reliable way with girls!

I'll...

I'll show you!

What are you doing?

What about dinner?

Dinner? I want a dessert!

Wait...

And dinner?

Well, since I'm well behaved, we'll eat dessert

at the table.

Hi, mom! Hi, dad!

Good evening!

Why...

why are you changing clothes in the kitchen?

What?

Filip's Xbox doesn't work.

What will be for dinner?

What for dinner?

Spaghetti for dinner...

Spaghetti...

Oh, cool! So we'll play, and you can get dressed!