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Good Morning
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Worldwide, over 1.5 billion people
experience un conflict
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In response, people are forced to flee
their country.
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leaving over 15 million refugees.
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children without a doubt are
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the most innocent and vulnerable victims
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but not just from the obvious
physical dangers,
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but from, the often, unspoken affects
that wars have on their families.
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The experiences of war leave children
at real high risk
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for the development of emotional
and behavioural problems.
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children as we can only imagine,
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will feel worried, threaten and at risk.
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but there is good news.
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The Quality of care that children recieve
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in their families, can have a more significant effects
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on their well-being, than from
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the actual experiences of war that
they have been exposed to.
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So actually, children can be protected
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by warm, secure parenting.
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during and after conflict.
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In 2011, I was a first year PHD Student
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in the University Of Manchester
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School Of Physiological Sciences.
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Like many of you here, I watched
the crisis in Syria
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unfold in front of me on the Tv.
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My family are originally from Syria,
and very early on
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I lost several family members
in really horrifying ways.
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I sit and I gathered with my family
and watched the TV.
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So we have all seen those scenes,
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bombs destroying, buildings,
chaos, destruction.
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and people screaming and running.
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it was always the people screaming
and running
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that really got me the most.
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Specially those terrified looking children.
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I was a mother to two young,
typically inquisitive children.
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They were five and six then.
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At an age when they typically ask lots and lots of questions
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and expect real convincing answers.
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So I began to wonder what it might be like
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to parent my children in a war-zone
and a refugee camp.
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Would my children change?
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Would my daughter's bright happy eyes lose their shine?
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Would my sons' really relax
care-free nature
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become fearful and withdrawn?
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How would I cope?
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Would I change?
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As psychologists and parent's trainers
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we know that arming parents
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with skills and caring for their children
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can have a huge effect on their well-being.
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We call this parents training.
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So the questions I had
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was could Parent Training programs be useful for families
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while they're still in war-zones or refugee camps?
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Could we reach them with advise or training
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that would help them through the struggles?
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So, I approached my PHD supervisor,
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professor Rachel Calam,
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with the idea of using my academic skills
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to make some changes in the real world.
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I wasn't quite sure, exactly, what I wanted to do.
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She listened carefully and patiently,
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And to my joy, she said:
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"If that is what you want to do,
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and it means so much to you, then
let's do it.
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Let's find ways to see if parent programs can be useful
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for families in this contexts."
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So for the past five years myself and my colleagues,
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professor Calam and Dr. Kim Cartwright
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have been working on ways to support families
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that have experienced war and displacement.
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Now, to know how to help families that have been
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through conflict, support their children,
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the first step must obviously be
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to ask them what are they struggling with. Right?
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I mean, it seems obvious,
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but often those are the most vulnerable
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that we are trying to support that we actually don't ask.
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How many times have we just assumed
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we know exactly the right thing that is gonna help someone or something
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without actually asking them first.
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So i travelled to the refugee camps in Syria and in Turkey.
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And i sat with families and i listened.
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I listened to the parenting challenges
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I listened to the parenting struggles
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And I listened to their call for help
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And sometimes that was just
bored is all I could do
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and destroy them and silence
crying and prayer
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So they told me about their struggles
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They told me about the ruffle, harsh
refugee camp condition
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That makes it hard forcusing on
anything but practical choses
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like connecting team water
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He told me how they watch their
children draw
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the sadness, depression, anger
bed-wetting, thumb sucking
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fear of loud noisy, fear of nightmares
terrify terrify nightmares
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what we had been watching on TV
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the mothers almost had