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CHRISTMAS APOCALYPSE

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    (Sarcastically) I love when they start playing
    Christmas music in October.
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    Shut up!
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    Man it's been great having such a nice and
    peaceful Christmas this year
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    Yep, totally uneventful.
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    Yeah.
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    (Sighs) I mean, I guess I miss our crazy adventures
    a little bit.
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    Yeah, they could have done with a little bit
    more violence.
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    Yeah maybe a little bit more nudity.
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    Yeah I should take my pants off.
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    No dude what's- why- what's wrong with you?!
    Keep those on!
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    Okay I'm sorry. It's just that this year's Christmas
    has just been so boring.
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    (Sighs) Yeah, if only today were more like an
    animated Christmas special or something,
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    then we'd have a crazy awesome adventure for sure!
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    Yeah... You know what, that sounds like a job for
    our
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    (Together) imaginations!
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    Holy Betty White's ballsack it worked!
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    Aw yeah! Now that we're animated, anything goes!
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    Check it out, I can fly! (Thump)
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    (Muffled) Dammit. I guess that's not how it works
    in this animation.
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    It's all good, man, I'm sure something crazy
    exciting is about to happen, any second now.
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    (Knocking)
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    Aha! See! Told you, somebody knocked on the door.
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    That's f**king exciting. Let's run to it!
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    (Panting) (Laughing)
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    Oh god, I hope it's Ian's mom with no clothes on!
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    Hey guys, Merry Christmas!
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    Eeh, no...
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    Ugh, f**king Stevie, seriously?
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    Guys, you know I saw you, and can still hear
    you, right?
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    Come on, let me in!
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    I'm freezing my holly jolly butthole out here!
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    Shut the hell up Stevie!
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    Wait a second, did you see the size of that
    big-ass present?
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    Yeah, you think it was for us?
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    I mean obviously it's for us, he doesn't have
    any other friends.
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    Yeah.. I feel kinda bad, 'cause we didn't
    even get him anything.
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    Yeah, you know sometimes I pretend that he
    doesn't even exist.
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    Yeah, just like your herpes.
    (Ian): What?
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    Guys, seriously? I can still hear you!
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    If we want that gift, I guess we're going to have
    to get him a gift too.
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    We need to get Stevie a present!
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    Yeah but dude it's Christmas Day, all the
    stores are closed.
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    F**cking lazy-ass union workers!
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    I know, get back to your job, idiots!
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    If we wanna get whatever's inside Stevie's box,
    we're gonna need a Christmas miracle.
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    That sounds really wrong, but I'm gonna try something.
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    Oh great scary, omniscient Gods of the holiday season,
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    we implore you!
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    Please bring us a present to give to Stevie so that we
    may avoid the social awkwardness and embarrassment!
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    Raaar!
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    I am a yeti, here to deliver your Christmas wish!
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    Ahh! Big-ass furry naked thing covered in fur!
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    Kill it, kill it!
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    Dude, no, he's here to help us!
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    Right you are. Here, give this gift to your pal Stacey.
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    (Muffled) My name is Stevie!
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    Wow! Thanks furry naked guy covered in fur!
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    Holy Santa's f**kballs, this is amazing!
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    Raaar! I am a yeti!
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    Now our house looks like a pride parade.
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    Yeah, we'd appreciate it if you didn't make our floor
    look like Kesha's butthole.
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    Dude, don't freak out, that's why we got the roomba.
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    It works perfectly fine!
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    (Crashing)
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    Raaar! Not this stuff!
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    It's the kind of glittery confetti that really gets
    stuck good and deep into the rug!
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    You'll be finding little pieces of it in there for weeks!
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    Ra-aar!
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    (Sarcastically) Oh, that's.. great.
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    (Sarcastically) Super.
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    Hey, guys! I've lost all feeling
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    in my hands, feet, and testicles.
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    Should I be worried?
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    Raaar. Why don't you let your pal Stanley in,
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    and give him his present?
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    Hell yeah! He's gonna love this!
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    Thanks guys!
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    I was always totally 70 percent sure you wouldn't
    let me die of hypothermia out there! (Laughs)
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    Of course not, Stevie! Now here's your gift.
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    Which we put tons of thought and care into and
    purchased way in advance.
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    A present, for me?!
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    Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
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    (Rumbling)
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    (Laughing)
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    Ahh!
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    What the fudge-covered Jesus is that thing?!
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    Oh my gosh, he's adorable!
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    I'm really gonna enjoy eating him alive!
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    Get your f**king hands off me, fatty!
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    Death to all!
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    (Smashing)
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    May the blood of the living rain down for eons
    to come!
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    You know there's something about that
    gingerbread man I just don't like.
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    Specifically the stuff about the blood of the living
    raining down for eons to come,
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    I mean he didn't even get my name right, it's Ian,
    not eon!
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    And why does he want me to come?
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    I've got a very bad feeling about this...
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    It's okay guys, I'm just happy you got me a present
    this year!
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    (Gasps) Ooh. Wanna play charades?
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    (Car alarm) (Laughing)
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    (Laughing)
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    Dude seriously what the hell is your deal?
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    Raaar! You dumbasses!
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    Didn't you know you should never trust a yeti
    at Christmas!
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    We can't stand all the joyfulness and cheers!
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    Ho-ho-hold on.
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    Don't you dare knock on Cheers!
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    Ted Danson is the sh*t!
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    Oh god, what's that thing doing now?
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    He's infecting all the other cookies!
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    They're gonna kill us all!
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    But they're so cute!
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    Yeah, you are all totally boned.
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    Mind if I ride out this wave of gingerbread
    zombies on your couch?
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    (Sighs)
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    (Channel changing) Nope, nope, seen it, nope.
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    (Porn moans) Ooh. I see you guys subscribe
    to all the channels!
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    Seen it.
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    Alright! Here we go!
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    When picnics go wrong!
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    This show's my jam.
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    (Laughing) (Car alarms)
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    Merry Christmas, bitches!
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    Die slowly!
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    You know, I feel partially responsible for this.
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    And I'm starting to think that yeti is a total
    d-bag.
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    (TV) I say Judy, these sandwiches are delicious.
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    (Roaring) Ahh! He's eating my face!
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    (Laughing)
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    It's funny, because they're all hideously
    disfigured! Hahaha!
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    Anthony, what the hell are we going to do?
    (Sirens outside)
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    I don't know, but we've gotta act fast.
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    It's not like we've got a whole week to think of a plan.
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    (Christmas music)
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    Oh my god, a cliffhanger!
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    While you're waiting for part 2, click the video on the
    right to watch another animation by the same people
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    that helped make this episode. It's called Alfred and Poe
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    and it's hilarious, I promise, click it.
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    My weapon of choice is the crossbow. Choose yours!
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    (Screaming) Whoops, oh god..
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    And click the video on the left to see behind the scenes
    from this episode,
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    and watch us tell you our top five Christmas movies.
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    And, we try to sing some Christmas carols, and we're
    really, really, really good at it.
Title:
CHRISTMAS APOCALYPSE
Description:
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Video Language:
English
Team:
Captions Requested
Duration:
07:04

English subtitles

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