Why do I suffer?

Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh,Thay, answers questions on May 2014. Question 4.

(Half bell)

(Bell)

(French) Why do I suffer?

(Translator) Why do I suffer?

Tell us a little bit more
about your suffering.

(French) Can you tell us more
about your suffering?

What do you suffer from?

What is the cause
of your suffering?

The heat? Hunger?
What do you suffer from?

(French) My question is,

why sometimes

I suffer, I feel sad,

I am lonely,

and I suffer.

(Translator) Sometimes I feel sad,
I feel lonely...

(French) And I am not joyful.

(Tr.) ...and I'm not joyful.

To suffer,

that is normal.

But, there are many ways to suffer.

In Plum Village, we learn to suffer.

Suffering is part of life.

In Plum Village, we learn how to suffer.

If we know how to suffer,
we suffer much less.

We can make good use of the suffering

in order to create happiness.

In Plum Village there is mud.

And because you know
how to make good use of the mud,

you can grow lotus flowers.

So people who do not know how to suffer,

they suffer a lot.

They are overwhelmed by their suffering.

But those of us who know how to suffer
we suffer much, much less.

Then, we can make
good use of the suffering

in order to make the lotus of happiness.

Everyone suffers, including the Buddha.

Even Thay.

But those of us who practice meditation,

we know how to suffer.

That is why we don't complain.

We suffer much less.

And we can...

Suffering helps us to understand.

Because suffering is very useful.

It's like the mud.

The mud is not useless.

It is useful, because we can make
lotus flowers out of it.

So, when you experience suffering,
you may ask:

What is the use of this suffering?

There is loneliness in me.

Loneliness is not pleasant.

But there is a reason why I feel lonely.

Usually, I think that I am alone because
of the fact that everyone is so busy.

Mother is so busy. Father is so busy.

Everyone is so busy,
no one is taking care of me.

Nobody understands me.

Nobody understands what I need.

Nobody understands the suffering in me.

So you feel lonely.

Many of us feel that kind of loneliness.

But, those of us who know meditation,

we look deeply into that loneliness.

And we understand.

We understand that the father is so busy.

He has a lot of worries in him.

Mother also has her own problems.

And maybe they are not capable
of sorting out these things.

That's why they do not have enough time
to take care of us

and to see our loneliness, our suffering.

Sometimes, they say something
that makes the loneliness increase.

That kind of understanding brings relief

and makes us suffer less.

So, the practice is to bring in
more understanding and compassion.

If understanding and compassion are there,
we suffer much less!

We can help the other people around us
to suffer much less.

If we know how to be fresh,

how to be tender, how to be compassionate,

how to be pleasant,

if we know how to smile,

to be joyful in difficult situations,

then we can help even adults.

And that is something we can learn.

So, suffering is part of life.

We learn that
if we know how to suffer.

It means practicing
mindfulness and concentration,

we look deeply and understand,

we don't suffer as much as other people.

Like I just told the other young person,

that when you look
in that little boy or little girl

who just did something unkind to you,

and you see the suffering
in him or in her,

you feel pity,

feel compassionate to him or her.

So you do not suffer from anger any more.

You want to do or say something

to help that little boy
or little girl to suffer less.

That is how we learn to suffer less,

and to make good use of suffering.

Understanding suffering
brings about compassion and love.

And compassion and love make us fresh,

pleasant.

Understanding and compassion
transform the anger,

the loneliness, the worries in us.

Don't wish that suffering
disappears altogether.

If suffering disappears altogether,

there will be no happiness.

It's like the mud.

If you ban all the mud out of the world,

there will never be lotus flowers.

So don't try to make the mud
disappear altogether.

If the mud disappears altogether,
there will be no lotus flowers.

Your suffering is the same.

Suffering is needed, somehow.

That is why
we have come to learn together,

how to handle suffering,

how to suffer less,

and how to make good use of suffering
to create the flower of happiness.

It's very wonderful.

We can speak about
the usefulness of suffering,

the goodness of suffering.

(French) The goodness of suffering.

(Half bell)

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