【正直トーク】大人だって悩みは尽きない

Translation & Subtitles: thoseguiltyeyes | scandal-heaven.com
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Hello! RINA here.

Today's video is one where I'll be chatting at home for the first time in forever.

Hasn't it been a really long time?

Lately I've been filming vlogs of stuff I do when I go out,

so it feels like it's been a really long time since I've done this.

It feels kind of weird.

I asked people to send in stuff like what's been bothering them lately,

what they've been thinking about,

or any large or small problems.

I'll be selecting a few of those and talking about them.

A lot of them overlapped.

Like, there were a lot who were thinking the same thing,

or worrying about the same thing.

There were also a lot of things that I could relate to.

It made me think that everyone really does think the same kind of things.

I'll talk and answer them leisurely as we think together.

(Before that...)

A lot of my viewers are around my age.

I'll be turning 32 this August,

and mostly everyone is around that age.

I felt that the problems unique to my generation

and that the way you think changes with each generation.

I was like, "Yeah, I guess we do think of things like that now."

At any rate, I'll start reading from the first screenshot I took.

"This is my third year in the workforce. Every day is like a routine, and it seems like every year there's less and less fun things to do."

Right?

Like...

You have to go to work every day and come home.

I've always been in the music scene,

and I think it's a job that involves meeting new people

and doing things in new places relatively often.

If you look at it roughly, the process is very similar.

We make new music, promote it, tour,

tour while making new music,

and record that music after touring.

It's a very luxurious way of life,

but I totally understand [situations like the question asker].

So, if you ask people around you how to keep things fresh,

I think there'll come a time when they'll say it's difficult to do.

So I think the only way to do that is to learn something new,

or find something you like to do,

or study something new as an adult.

In that sense,

sometimes you have no choice but to renew yourself.

For me, how I should edit a video is different from what I'd do with music.

I'm not saying that it feels really fresh right now,

but when I went to French school,

it really felt like I was off to a new start.

Also, I did a video about this,

about how I've been doing Pilates to work out and refresh myself.

Every day, recently—it's really a recent thing—

I've been trying to spend an hour a day

studying something that has nothing to do with my lifestyle or work.

Maybe do something like that.

I think you have to get things going on your own.

It's impossible to have someone else provide you with a fresh environment every day.

It takes time,

but in the end, I think the only thing you can do

is to make new moves on your own.

On to the next question.

"I haven't had any feelings of love for a man for more than 5 years now."

I see.

It's like, "What does it mean to love, anyway?"

Love, huh.

The power of love is incredible.

It can make you do your best at anything.

The moment you fall in love with someone,

or the time frame when you do,

is really awesome.

But sometimes I think that if I could learn to make myself happy,

I would truly be invincible.

Some might think that sounds really lonely,

but at any rate, maybe I'm just trying to be someone

who can have fun on their own.

I think there are a lot of things I'm not doing well, though.

Maybe there's someone you'd have fun with and feel fulfilled by

and you'd like to be with them,

or maybe there's someone who's attracted to you.

If you're mentally open like that,

you might have a better chance of meeting someone.

But, well, as you get older,

it feels like you're less likely to have people that you're attracted to.

Or rather, the number lessens.

There's more and more to consider.

So it'd be nice if you could make yourself as happy as possible

and have good encounters and feelings of love

appear somewhere along the way, wouldn't it?

I totally get you.

I totally understand this situation.

"I often wonder how I and my family will live in the future. I'm filled with anxiety."

Family, huh...

Yeah...

I'm the eldest out of five kids.

My mom was a single mother.

I also played the father role in the family.

That's why I do a lot of thinking.

Like wondering how we can all ultimately be happy.

Since I love my job, there are times when I'm like,

"I need to work hard and earn money."

That's not the only thing, though.

There are definitely times when I feel anxious

because my family is one I have to support properly.

Since this person might not have the same circumstances as me,

they may be feeling a different kind of anxiety.

But I definitely feel that way sometimes, too.

I hope we can keep the band going for as long and healthy as possible,

but I wonder how I would be able live my life

if something difficult happened to me, such as my health declining.

It's no good if I can't look after my family.

What I should do at that time...

This is not a negative thing in terms of the band at all,

but something I think about level-headedly as a human being.

Sometimes it's hard to find the answer,

and I get anxious and scared.

But in the end, I feel like I have no choice but to do what's in front of me.

But I totally get that about family.

It's because you care about them so much that you're worried.

I understand.

I also play the father figure financially.

I've been paying for my sisters' tuitions all this time.

I pay all the rent and living expenses at my parents' house.

Sometimes I feel like it's hard to talk about money with others.

I think that instability there would have a huge impact on one's mental health.

For me too...

But there's no choice but to work hard, ultimately.

There's no choice but for me to do it.

I think that's why I've been able to stay motivated and try all kinds of things.

Sometimes I wonder if I'd be able to work this hard if it was just for me.

Sometimes it can be an anxiety factor.

I think that knowing there's something you need to protect can be motivating.

"Human relations and communication in the workplace are difficult, aren't they?"

They are difficult.

In my case...

The band's been together since we were young.

We have a very special bond.

So it's a very difficult relationship to explain in words.

But each one of us is an individual person,

and although we're friends who have been playing music together as a band for a long time,

we are also our own person.

I think it's good to be involved

while maintaining a good sense of distance and emotional space.

That's why we've been able to support each other

and be a band for such a long time.

In that way...

I think I've been adjusting and thinking about it a lot more since we've grown up.

But the relationship between us is a bit too special,

so this may not be helpful to others.

Also, we have close relationships to those at our management office and record label.

I think that's the main thing about interpersonal relationships at work in my case.

But that might also be a special case.

I think it depends on the office,

but in our case, we are very close, like a family.

At this time, I really want to separate and cherish my private life, in a good way,

so, honestly, I think there are more things we don't mention or talk about with each other than before.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

That's why I think our relationships keep changing.

You yourself change as well.

It'd be good if we could all communicate what we need to convey,

maintain a good distance,

and build relationships at work while protecting ourselves.

I've never really experienced what it's like to have a boss and subordinates like in a company,

so I probably don't understand all of that properly.

I don't think I know anything about it.

I can imagine it, but I'm sure there are things you won't understand unless you're there experiencing it,

so I don't think I can say anything adequate.

I'm sure it must be hard.

It's really commendable. It really is.

I think that's impressive.

We also speak really casually to the head of our office.

That's what it's like [where we are].

That's how close we are.

But I'm sure that doesn't happen very often.

That's why there are so many things that I can't even imagine.

But there's a part of me that believes that if you truly convey something properly,

it will get through to everyone.

Yeah.

It'd be nice to be involved without it being too difficult.

Here's a cute question.

"I'm going to Tokyo Disneyland for the first time in forever. I'm so unsure what to eat at the park."

That's so cute.

So tranquil.

Disney's great.

I also went recently with a friend.

It might have been a while ago, actually.

It was fun.

I always have to have a churro.

It's delicious.

Please have fun!

They might have already gone.

"I get emotional easily and regret it later."

I get you.

I totally get you.

Because you value something and have passion for it...

Your words become strong, fast, and sharp.

Because, you know...

I don't think it's possible to be emotional without passion.

You know you'll regret it,

and you'll probably hate yourself for being that way.

I think it's great to be able to change things in creative ways,

but I think it's really great to have something you're passionate about,

something you can put your heart and soul into,

to the point where it's something really emotional for you.

I'm totally the same way.

I'm totally like that when I talk about the band.

Yeah.

There are lots of times when I wonder why I said something in a certain way,

or how I could have communicated it better.

That's why sometimes I try talking about that topic one more time.

Yeah, there are many times when you can't apologize properly.

That's when you reaffirm that you are passionate about it.

It's been a long time.

But yeah, in that way...

I think it's great when there are things that you can really get emotionally attached to.

So I think it would be good if we could talk about the things we want to change,

even if it's just a little bit at a time,

or about the things we think we did wrong that we can make up for later,

even if it's after the fact.

I'm sure there will be times when they'll understand,

and you'll feel better, too.

"I'm tired of comparing my life with my friends all the time."

Looking at social media, right?

You subsciously compare things.

Isn't that the same for everyone?

If there are accounts that make you feel bad when you see their posts,

I think it's fine if you mute them.

In regards to social media, that is.

I wonder if there are times when they do comparisons during conversations.

Because everything in your life is something you've experienced yourself,

I think there are times when you feel like there are no improvements in your life.

I feel like there are so many cases where someone's life is insanely special from someone else's perspective.

You're like, "That's not what my life's like."

I'm sure there's a lot of things you don't realize,

like the parts that other people envy and think are amazing.

In fact, I think it might happen in your own life too.

"I'm a 24-year-old woman. I'm going out with someone 12 years older than me, and it's hard to keep up because my money sense differs."

Maybe you should talk to them about this.

You're dating, after all.

It's better that the two of you talk about it.

For the long run, as well.

I think it'd be a good idea to honestly discuss what you had written to me.

"I'm going overseas for a year soon for work, and I'm wondering if I should go out with someone I like right now."

You mean it'd end up being a long-distance relationship, right?

I think it's fine to go out with them.

Surprisingly, a year goes by so quickly.

They could go overseas if they want.

You can call each other and stay in touch.

Maybe I'm the type of person who doesn't think of distance as a problem.

I think it's a good thing when two people like and are attracted to each other.

It might not be easy to see each other,

but what about when you are living in the same country?

However, I think there's a possibility it'll become a special time that you can say afterwards was a good time.

I think it's really cool when women work hard for a year overseas like this.

Ah, I got one of these questions.

"Now that I'm at the age where I have friends who are getting married or living together, I feel anxious even though I've never been in a relationship."

Yeah.

Almost all of the questions I got are like this.

When I ask for questions, most of them are like this.

There's really no way to solve this.

Everyone is different, so there's no need to worry.

But it is true that when you think about your body and such,

it's natural that you feel like you're counting backwards, especially for women.

I'm sure there will be a lot of things to think about, like whether you'd have a baby or not.

I get it.

I'm wondering what's going to happen to me too, really.

With that in mind...

But there's always so much to do in front of me.

Just because I take a break doesn't mean I'm getting married.

I've been in my band for a long time.

Yeah, I don't know anymore.

But my married friends say that it's really all about timing.

A lot of people say they never thought it would be like this,

and I also think that's how it must be.

So, to rewind a bit,

I'm the type of person who thinks it's better to have a foundation where I'm fine even if I'm all alone.

I'd like to be able to live a normal and happy life on my own,

and then go out with someone or not, get married or not.

It's like we'll have new kind of fun when we're together.

That's what I feel right now.

That's what I'm feeling now.

But I get you.

Isn't it the same for everyone?

So don't think you're the only one.

Make yourself happy by thinking that you're not in any particular hurry.

It doesn't have to be fun all the time.

I think it would be nice to have that, to be able to live somehow in a good way.

Marriage is not the ultimate goal.

And then there's a lot of new and difficult things to do.

"This is about interior design preferences. I just moved, so I'm unsure of what to do. RINA, what theme do you have at your place?"

Oh, they moved? It's fun to design new places.

I kind of like antique vibes.

I go to flea markets.

I got that mirror in back of me at a flea market.

I've bought antiques in Europe,

like that picture frame next to [the mirror].

I've bought stuff from vintage shops in Osaka.

I go to stores like that when we go overseas on tour.

I've bought lamps and such.

Hold on a sec.

This one.

I bought this recently.

I bought this in Paris recently.

I collect stuff from various places while traveling.

Something like that.

Also, my sofa is beige.

My tables are also mostly beige.

Beige might be my go-to color.

Beige.

Beige in color.

Ah, this one...

"If I can't congratulate my bias on their marriage, would I be semi-disqualified [as a fan] because I love them too much?"

Ah, but...yeah...

It is shocking,

when fans are suddenly informed like that.

We're all human, of course.

Even if you understand that they're in love and has a private life, it's still shocking, I'm sure.

You've been supporting them with your time and money for a long time.

I don't think that disqualifies you as a fan.

I'm sure there are people who feel that way.

But things like that are not something you can control.

The artists as well.

It's someone's life, and they are free to choose to do things as they see fit.

But I totally understand.

I get it.

I wonder if fans would congratulate me if I got married.

All of the questions from here on are about marriage.

"Can I be happy without getting married?"

"I don't think I need to get married, but everyone I know is in a rush to get married."

"After meeting more than 30 people on a dating app, no matter how much I think about it, I prefer my ex-girlfriend. I'm already heartbroken."

But you worked really hard.

You made a change and took action.

That's impressive,

meeting over 30 people.

It takes a lot of power to meet people, doesn't it?

You're meeting someone for the first time, and you've done it 30 times.

That's impressive.

I see.

Your ex-girlfriend.

This is difficult.

If you have high expectations, you might end up hurting yourself.

But why not try talking [to your ex] just once?

If you're able to.

You could just meet up.

If you really think you can't handle it anymore, why not confess your feelings?

I really feel like that could help sort some things out.

I feel like just properly conveying your feelings would make a difference.

I hope you meet someone good.

"I'll be quitting my job tomorrow. I'm in the process of looking for a new job, but I'm not sure if I'll find a good one."

That's great.

I have a girl friend who recently decided to change jobs.

We're about the same age.

She doesn't have a clear idea of what she wants to do or what she wants to do next,

so it's difficult for her to choose a company.

She's single, but I've heard that there aren't many companies that'll hire a woman in her 30s

who might get married soon and quit, or who might get pregnant and quit.

That's also tough.

I was just thinking how difficult that is.

She applied to a lot of places, and x

x

Before that happened, I got a call from her.

She was crying, asking what she should do.

I was also panicking.

But I listened to her, and she told me all of this.

So I know it's a real pain.

x

So I hope you can get through this and do your best now

so that your future self can feel at ease.

I don't know what a good place would look like for you,

but...

I hope you find a company where you can demonstrate your full potential and feel at ease.

"I started playing the drums this year but can't play them very well."

That's totally fine.

Then you've been playing for a little over half a year.

It's normal to have trouble drumming well at first, so it's okay.

An instrument is something you practice for your whole life.

If you stop even for a little, you'll decline.

[The drums] are really interesting and a lot of work,

since the sound comes directly from them.

Keep having fun as you continue playing.

I hope you continue having fun while making changes, such as covering your favorite songs,

playing louder, or changing your settings up.

"What do you think about one's boyfriend hanging out with other girls? I'm getting a little tired of my friends and boyfriend being in contact with each other so much."

There were a lot of questions from people having trouble with their significant others.

So let's talk about it.

You're in a relationship, so you want to be able to talk about

the good things and the bad things with the person you're with.

x

I think it's best to convey that with love.

It's better to talk about it than deny it.

x

I don't know how long I've been talking.

It's been over 40 minutes.

How will I put it all together?

It was a lot of fun to be able to talk about everyday life with you guys.

It was nice.

Even if I don't get an answer, just being able to talk to people like this, even if it's through a screen.

I really felt like we're living in the same era and in the same way.

Everyone worries about similar things.

You're not alone, so don't worry too much about things like this or feel anxious.

Of course, the opposite is also good.

I hope we can keep talking like this.

At any rate, if you're able to get through x, you'll be fine.

Thanks so much for watching to the end.

See you in my next video!

Bye bye!