No Sameness. No Otherness

No sameness. No otherness. That is the nature of all that is.

The retreat theme is "What Happens when we die?" at Plum Village, France. This is a 26-minute portion of the talk offered from the Stillwater Meditation Hall at Upper Hamlet on June 12, 2014.

In this talk we return to many common teachings of no-brith, no-death as illustrated by the corn seed and the corn plant, the cloud and the cup of tea, and seeing ourselves as a 5-year old child. We are reminded that we carry all our ancestors in our body. When we walk, our ancestors walk with us at the same time. We don’t just walk for ourselves, but we also walk for our ancestors. The same is with our spiritual ancestors - we are the continuation of these ancestors too. The teaching also reminds us how to work with our more difficult ancestors in order to discover healing and transformation. We can turn our anger into compassion.

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No sameness, no otherness.

That is the nature of all that is.

When you look into your family album,

you see yourself as a five-year-old boy,
a five-year-old girl, and you ask,

"Am I the same person with this little boy
or am I a different person?"

Because now you look
so different from the little boy.

Your form, your feelings,

your perceptions, your mental formations,
your consciousness are very different

from the five aggregates
of the little boy.

So you are not the same
with the little boy

that used to be you.

But you are not
a totally different person either.

So the truth is you are neither the same
nor a different one.

We know that
this plant of corn is the continuation

of the kernel of corn
that we planted several weeks ago.

And the grain of corn is still alive.

Even if we do not see it
in the form we used to see it,

it is always there.

We cannot remove the grain of corn
out of the plant of corn.

It is there, in every cell
of the corn stalk.

Those of us who know how to look deeply,

we can see the presence of the kernel
of corn in every cell of the corn stalk.

The same thing is true with our parents.

We may think that our father
has passed away, has died.

But our father is always alive in us.

We can get in touch with our father
in every cell of our body,

and you can talk to your father,

"Daddy, I know you are there."

So a conversation between the son,
the daughter and the father

is always possible, even if the image
of the father you used to know

is no longer there.

So the form of the corn kernel
is no longer there,

but the kernel of corn is always
there,

in other form.

It is like this glass of tea.

The tea in this glass

is the continuation of the cloud
yesterday floating in the sky.

So the cloud has not really died.

The cloud has become the tea.

When you look into the tea,
you see your beloved cloud.

"Hello, my dear little cloud,
I know you are still there."

The tea can talk to the cloud.
The cloud is inside of the tea.

"My cloud, you are my ancestor.

Yesterday you were in the sky,
and I was with you also.

Now I am in this cup, in the form of tea
and you are in me."

So the tea can talk to the cloud.

The cloud has not died.

We have learned that
it is impossible for a cloud to die.

To die means that from something
you become nothing.

But it is impossible for a cloud
to become nothing.

It becomes rain, or snow, or ice,
but never nothing.

That is not possible.

If we look deeply
into the heart of things,

we found out that everything
has the nature of no-birth and no-death.

The cloud has not been born.
It just manifests in the form of a cloud.

The cloud has not come from nothing.

The cloud has not come from the realm
of non-being into the realm of being.

Before taking the form of a cloud,
the cloud has been the water in the ocean.

So it has not come from nothing.

The nature of the cloud
is the nature of no-birth and no-death.

Not only the nature of the cloud
is like that, no-birth and no-death,

the nature of everything
is no-birth and no-death.

Your nature.
It is impossible for you to die.

You can never die.

And interestingly enough,
modern science agrees with that.

We think of
the first law of thermodynamics.

The law of conservation
of matter and energy.

We know that matter cannot be destroyed.

Matter cannot be created.

You can transfer
one kind of matter into another kind.

You can transform matter into energy,

you can transform one kind of energy
into another kind of energy,

and you can transform energy
back into matter.

But you cannot create matter or energy
and you cannot destroy them.

So the nature of matter and energy
is the nature of no-birth and no-death.

Antoine Lavoisier
has said that very beautifully,

"Rien ne se crée, rien ne se perds."

Nothing is born, nothing dies.
That is the truth!

So our cosmic body-

We have a physical body,
but we have our cosmic body.

Our cosmic body is the Kingdom of God.

And in the Kingdom of God,
nothing is born, nothing dies.

The true nature of reality.

We had a beautiful example yesterday.

The image of a wave.

When we look into a wave
that appears on the surface of the ocean,

we have the impression
the wave is fragile, impermanent.

The wave has her own body, wave body

like we have a physical body.

But the wave also has
her water body, ocean body.

And the moment when the wave
realizes that she has an ocean body,

she loses all fear.

And she enjoys going up,
she enjoys going down.

She is no longer fearful, because she is
capable of touching her ocean body.

The wave suffers because she only knows
that she has a wave body,

she has a beginning, an end,
she has to go up and to go down,

she is not the other wave.

All these notions, beginning, ending,
birth and death, going up and down,

make her suffer a lot.

But the moment she realizes
that she is water, her ground is water,

she loses all these notions
and fear and anger and jealousy,

and she is happy.

She enjoys going up,
she enjoys going down.

So when you touch your true nature,
you are free from birth and death.

Imagine a cloud in the sky.

The cloud has his ocean body also.

Because the cloud
has come also from the ocean.

The cloud has his cloud body.

But it also has its ocean body.

When we look at the cloud body,

we have the impression
that it is something fragile.

Impermanent.

But if the cloud realizes

that he has a water body,
an ocean body,

then he is no longer afraid of dying
because dying is impossible.

To die is impossible.

Interestingly enough, the teaching
of no-birth and no-death

goes perfectly with the findings
of modern science.

Things change but they are not born,
they do not die.

"Rien ne se crée, rien ne se perds.
Tout se transforme."

That is the first characteristic
of the bijas,

of the seeds in alayavijñana,
store consciousness.

We have blood ancestors.

Our father, our mother,
our grandfather, our grandmother

that are alive in us.

Don't think that they have died.

It is impossible for the ancestors to die.

It is like the grain of corn.

She is always alive in the plant of corn.

The plant of corn carries
the seed of corn always with it.

We carry our father, our mother,
our ancestors

in every cell of our body and we can
talk to them at any time.

When we walk, our ancestors walk.

If you can make peaceful,
happy, joyful steps,

our ancestors enjoy these happy,
peaceful, joyful steps at the same time.

So you do not walk just for yourself.
You walk for your ancestors.

And when you breathe in mindfully
and enjoy the fresh air,

your ancestors in you also breathe in
at the same time and enjoy the fresh air.

Because their nature is
the nature of no-birth and no-death.

We also have our spiritual ancestors,
Mohammed, Jesus, Buddha, Abraham.

We are the continuation of our ancestors.

We have to find our ancestors in us.

The safest space to be in touch with
our spiritual ancestors is in us.

If you are a good practitioner
of Christianity,

Jesus is always alive in yourself,
because he is your spiritual ancestor.

When you walk, he walks with you,
when you breathe, he breathes with you.

So Jesus Christ is always available
in our daily life.

The same thing is true
with a Buddhist practitioner.

If we practice mindful walking,
mindful breathing,

the Buddha in us practices
mindful breathing, mindful walking

at the same time.

The Buddha is always alive in us.

Jesus Christ is always alive in us.

Because we have received the teaching,

we are born spiritually
from our root teacher.

That is why it is possible for us to talk,
to dialogue with our spiritual ancestors

at any time.

Like the plant of corn.

She knows that the corn kernel
is still alive

and she can talk to
the corn kernel at any time.

In the case you had difficult ancestors,
a difficult father, a difficult mother,

in the case that there is
a difficult relationship with the father,

with the mother, with a brother,

we can still talk to them and
help them to transform in us.

This is a good practice.

Suppose our father
had a lot of difficulties,

and there is a lot of suffering in him,
a lot of difficulties in him,

but he did not know
how to take care, to handle,

to transform the suffering in him.

That is why he remains always
the victim of his own suffering.

And his suffering is transmitted to you.

That is why sometimes you suffer and
you do not know why you suffer.

Because the suffering of the father
has been transmitted

to the son or the daughter.

You can talk to your father inside,

"Daddy, I know that you suffered
quite a lot. You were not lucky.

You have not met
a spiritual friend, a teacher,

and did not know how to transform it.

But now I have the chance
to meet a spiritual friend,

the teaching and a teacher,

and I'm going to practice in order to
transform the suffering in me.

That is your suffering also.

If I transform the suffering in me,
then you are transformed also in me".

So everything you do for yourself,
you do for your father,

your mother, your ancestors.

There are young people
who are so angry at their father

that they cannot talk to their father,
they cannot look at their father,

they can say, "That person, I don't want
to have anything to do with him."

There are young people who talk like that.

It looks like they don't want to have
anything to do with their father.

But the truth is that they are
the continuation of their father.

They are their father.

It is impossible
to remove their father from them.

It is like this plant of corn.

Suppose she is angry at the corn kernel.

And she wants to remove
the corn kernel from her.

It is impossible!

That is why there is only one way to do,

to recognize your father inside of you
and try to understand the suffering

and try to transform.

There is that practice,

Breathing in, I see myself
as a five-year-old boy or girl.

Breathing out, I smile to the
five-year-old boy or girl in me.

Breathing in, I see the five-year--old boy
or girl in me is fragile, vulnerable.

Breathing out, I feel a lot of compassion
for that little boy, or little girl in me

who was me.

Then, breathing in, I see my father
as a five-year-old boy.

Because our father has been also
a fragile, vulnerable little boy.

And as a fragile, vulnerable little boy,
he suffered also.

When we are able to see
the suffering of our father,

suddenly our anger disappears.

When we see the suffering and the origin
of the suffering in our father,

we don't want to punish him anymore.

Instead, we want to do something,
to say something to help him suffer less.

Our anger has transformed into compassion.

Meditation has that power.

When you recognize the suffering,

when you recognize the suffering,

when you begin to understand
the nature of suffering,

in him or in her,

compassion is born in your heart.

And when compassion is born,
you don't suffer anymore.

You don't want to punish anymore.

You can say nice things to him or to her.

You can listen with compassion,
you can restore communication.

You can help him or her to suffer less
and you can bring about reconciliation.

And that can be done quickly also.

We need insight in order to make
compassion arise in our heart.

"Daddy, I know you have suffered
so much in the past, many years.

I haven't been able to help you
to suffer less.

And I have reacted in such a way that
have made you suffer more. I'm sorry.

It's not my intention, daddy,
to make you suffer.

It's just because I haven't seen
the suffering in you,

I haven't understood the suffering in you.

Please, father, tell me of your suffering,
of your difficulties.

Please, help me to understand.

I know that if
I understand your suffering,

I will not react like I have
and make you suffer more.

Please, help me."

That is the kind of speech called
loving speech.

You can use it when
there is compassion in your heart.

When you speak like that,
he will open his heart

and tell you about
what is in his heart.

And that practice of deep listening
is very healing.

Listening with compassion
you make a person suffer less.

Then, you can restore communication
and heal the wounds.

Even if your father is no longer
in the form you used to recognize.

Many decades ago, two decades ago,
there was a young American

who came to the Upper Hamlet here
to practice.

He had his homework, to write
a love letter to his mother.

You do walking meditation, sitting
meditation for 2 or 3 days,

reflecting on your mother,

and then you sit down and write
a love letter. That is a meditation.

And he was able to write
a wonderful letter

and reported that in the beginning,
he was very doubtful.

Because he was angry at his mother.
He couldn't communicate with his mother.

But because it's
an exercise of meditation,

he had to write a letter.

But in order to write the letter,

he had to practice breathing in and out
and calm his emotions.

And look into reality as it is.

So during those 2 or 3 days he found out
many virtues of his mother.

Because when you are angry at someone,

you only remember what is
not pleasant in him or in her.

But when you have enough time to look,
you can discover many wonderful things

in him or in her.

So with that kind of discovery, he was
able to write a very beautiful letter.

After having finished the letter,
he felt wonderful.

He had found, he had rediscovered
his mother again.

He has a new mother.

And when his mother read the letter,
she was transformed.

She rediscovered a beloved son.

And he was healed.

They were able to reconcile
just because of one letter.

She wrote to him,

"My son, I'm so happy
that you wrote that letter.

I rediscovered my beloved son.

I'm very proud of you.

I want to write
a letter like that to my mom.

Your grandma.

Because I did have difficulties
with your grandma.

But now she has passed away,
I have no chance to write such a letter.

That is why the condition is no longer
possible, when the other person has died."

The young man in Upper Hamlet
wrote back and said,

"Mother, write it anyway,
because my grandma is always alive in you.

(Laughter)

If you sit down and look deeply
you will see

that grandma is always present
in every cell of your body.

And as you continue
and begin to write the letter,

my grandma will begin
to read it right away."

That is possible with the insight
of no-birth and no-death.

The non-duality between father and son,
mother and daughter and so on.

It's wonderful!

The restoration of communication,
the reconciliation with other person

can take place in just
a few days of practice.

So if you have some difficulties

in your relationships
with your father, your mother,

with your partner,

do not allow the situation to continue.

With the practice
we can transform the situation.

The practice of mindful breathing,
the practice of mindful walking,

will calm down our feelings, our emotions

and allow us to look deeply
and to rediscover

and restore our beautiful relationship.