How to practice when your partner is not interested?

Thay answers questions on 21 June 2014. Question 5

(Bell sound)

How can I be stable and live with a person
who is not interested in spirituality?

I like very much the idea
of being a Dharmacharya,

but he does not agree.

How can I practice
to keep that aspiration?

(Sr Pine) I want very much to follow
the Dharma practices,

the example of the mindfulness trainings,

but I live with a person who
is not interested in the spiritual path.

So how can I practice
to remain stable in that situation?

When you are lovable,
when you are fresh,

when you are appreciated
by the other person,

you have a chance that everything you do
will be appreciated by him or by her,

because when we truly love a person,
we love everything about that person.

That is a natural tendency.

And that is why the spiritual can be
recognized in every act of daily life.

You do not need to say:
'This is spiritual.'

That will turn people off.

When you drink your tea
mindfully, peacefully, happily,

and there is mindfulness,
concentration and insight in you,

drinking tea is a very spiritual thing.

It radiates peace, happiness and joy.

And that is already spiritual.

You do not need to say:
'Well, I want to drink my tea spiritually.'

(Laughs)

You do not have to say that.

And the practice of
the five mindfulness trainings

is like that too.

You do not need to say:
'I practice the mindfulness trainings.'

You just live according to
the five trainings.

You practice without a name,
but it is a real practice.

You are a Buddhist,

but you do not need to say
that you are a Buddhist.

And you do not want to
impose your way on him or her.

If you practice well,
you are happy, you are fresh.

That is good enough.

One day the other person may ask:
'Darling, how could do you do it?'

'In such a situation I would not
be able to act like you.'

And that is the time when you can
share your practice formally.

But be the practice first,
be the Dharma first.

And that is good enough.

And you draw him or her into the practice,
one way or another.

Remember, do not try
to impose your practice on him or her.

Do not practice too formally.

There are those who practice
walking meditation in a very funny way.

They want to show that
they are practicing walking meditation.

It looks not very natural at all.

(Laughter)

And there are those of us who walk
very deeply and happily,

but they do not look
too serious in the practice.

When you breathe in
mindfully and joyfully,

you do not try to show other people:
'I am breathing in mindfully, you know.'

(Laughter)

'I am a good practitioner.'

(Laughter)

In Buddhism we have the expression
'practicing the non-practice',

'hanh vo hanh hanh',
'practice the non-practice'.

You do not need to have...

much appearance.

That way we can convey
the essence of the practice better.

And if the other person wants to be
happy, serene and peaceful,

he has a chance to learn.

(Bell sound)