Explorations into being Hafu: Megumi Nishikura at TEDxKyoto

What began as a personal journey to find her own place in a world between cultures has transformed, through the power of film, into a way for thousands to explore exactly what it means to be "hafu".

Based on the way I look,
where do you think I'm from?

India?

Mexico?

How about Italy?

What about Kyrgyzstan?

These are some of the places
people think I'm from.

What I actually am is half Japanese
and half Irish American.

There is a term commonly used
to identify people like myself,

and that is "hafu".

In my day-to-day experience in Japan,

people are often surprised
to learn that I am hafu.

Strangers will come up to me and say,

"Okuni wa doko desuka?" --

What country are you from?

When they learn
my last name is Nishikura,

the next question usually is:
"Nihonjin to kekkon sarete masuka?" --

Are you married to a Japanese?

I often reply with:
No, my father is Japanese. --

"Jitsuwa otousan ga Nihonjin desu."

But what I really want to say is:
It's because I'm Japanese.

I'm very fortunate, in that
I come from a loving family

that had the means
to give me the opportunity

to spend my summers
in the United States.

So, I grew up
between two different worlds.

In Japan, I remember going
to the local matsuris, the festivals,

and trying my darnedest
to scoop up that goldfish

with that paper scoop
but always failing.

And, in America, I remember going to
the local shopping mall

and being in awe of how the stores
just stretched out for miles.

For a young girl, it was paradise.

But wherever I went, once I was beyond
the comfort of my home or family,

I always felt like I didn't quite fit in.

I wanted to belong, which I think
is a natural human desire.

In Japan, I wish my teachers
at my Japanese elementary school

wouldn't single me out
for being able to speak English.

And, in America,
I wish I had blonde pigtails

like the girls in
my grandmother's neighborhood.

While I was lucky
to have never been picked on in school,

I know that there are
those of us who have.

Simply, whether innocent
or malicious intent,

simply by the way somebody
says something to us or looks at us,

we are acutely reminded that
we are not like those around us,

that we don't belong.

And, sometimes, that desire
to belong is so great

that we are willing to hide or change
that part of us that is different.

But it's not as simple
as buying a new wardrobe

to fit in with the cool kids.

Denying who we are,
even one part of us,

creates the suffocating feeling,
like we're not good enough.

Even today, I catch
a glimpse of myself in the mirror

of a restaurant where I'm eating
with my relatives,

and I go, "Wow, I look so different.

How is it that I am related?

Do I even belong here?"

But then a moment later, I am moved.

Moved by the fact,
that despite their differences,

both cultural and racial,

my parents found love.

And those differences
were once so great

that my grandparents
were on opposite sides of a war.

Knowing the value of respecting
and loving both cultures,

my parents raised me to believe
that I was both Japanese and American.

However, in Japan in particular,

society has trouble
reflecting that back to me.

People don't even often recognize me
as being half Japanese;

they just see me as a foreigner.

Now, some might say
this is understandable

with only 2% of the population
in Japan being not Japanese,

and there being
few ethic minorities here.

But as somebody who has grown up here,
and is Japanese by birth,

why is it so hard to be recognized as one?

So, what does it mean to be Japanese?

It seems like there's
this unspoken definition.

One must look Japanese,
speak Japanese,

and abide by all its customs
and traditions.

And, if someone can't check off each box,
a hundred percent,

then he or she is not Japanese.

But people like me are becoming
more and more common every day.

Today, 1 in 18 marriages
is an international union,

and, as a result, 1 in 49 babies
are born between such couples.

That is over 20,000 hafus a year.

With such changing demographics,
I think the current understanding

of what it means to be Japanese
needs to change.

[A new definition of Japanese]

The definition of Japanese
needs to expand to include hafus.

"Konna kao demo Nihonjin
de arieru shakai ni nattehoshii." --

Maybe you can look like me
and sound like me, and still be Japanese.

As a film maker, exploring these questions
came naturally to me

through the lens of a camera.

So, it began in film school,
where I made short movies

about my personal identity and my family,

to upon graduating,
where I started producing videos

for organizations
that fight racial prejudice

and foster multi-cultural understanding.

All of which leads to this moment now,

where, through the hafu project,

I met three young hafu women like myself,

and together we came
to make a feature length film.

Through five stories filmed over a year,
we asked these very questions:

What does it mean to be hafu
and what does it mean to be Japanese?

(Video) Woman: He was started
to be called names:

"You are not Japanese,
you are Eigo-jin."

Boy: I was bullied every day.

[What does it mean to be
mixed-race in Japan?]

Man: I stuck out wherever I was
and people treated me differently.

I thought,
just treat me normally!

Talk to me just as
you would to anyone else!

Woman: I really believed I was Japanese.

So suddenly I felt like
I didn't belong anywhere.

When you're younger,
you don't want to be different,

you want to be like everybody else.

Man: I feel disconnected from Japan.

[Each year over 20,000
half-Japanese babies are born]

Woman: I feel like Japan is changing.

Everyday, you see these little,
half-Japanese children running around.

Man: I discovered that there were many
people that had similar backgrounds.

Woman: He realized that he didn't
have to try to become someone

that everybody else expects him to be.

Man: There's prejudice
and racism wherever you go.

I want to connect with
people who can see me for me.

Woman: Instead of disliking
what's different

if we embrace and learn from it

then Japan will have
such a bright future.

[SOPHIA
Australia x Japan]

[EDWARD
Venezuela x Japan]

[FUSAE
Korea x Japan]

[OI FAMILY
Mexico x Japan]

[DAVID
Ghana x Japan]

[Japan is Changing]

[HAFU]

[Meet the new generation
of mixed Japanese]

(Applause)

MN: Since we began filming,
the response has been tremendous.

Hafus and their families write to us
from all corners of the globe

offering their support and encouragement.

To me, this is a testament that the parts
of us that feels unrecognized

wants our stories to be heard.

The film was completed in April
and is now screening worldwide.

None of us hafus chose
to be born this way.

However, having come from two parents

of different cultures
or different phenotypes,

by our mere presence,

we've been given an opportunity
to start this conversation

about the labels that
society places on all of us.

I believe these labels of separation

are what leads to exclusion,
discrimination, conflict, and even war.

Ultimately, I think it's not just about
being recognized as part of Japan,

I think what we're really seeking

is to be seen authentically
in our entirety,

for the parts of us that is Japanese
and the parts of us that is not.

What I have come to understand is that
it is up to each and every one of us

to decide for ourselves
who we are

and not to be confined by the boundaries
that seek to define us or exclude us.

And, in that act of knowing
who we are and accepting it,

we allow others to know it is okay
for us to be that way as well.

My name is Nishikura Megumi.

With this name and this face,
I am Japanese, American, and hafu.

Thank you.

(Applause)