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FR Sous-titres

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    Veronica: 1 er Septembre 1989.
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    Cher journal,
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    Je crois que je suis une bonne personne, vous savez, je pense qu'il est bon dans tout le monde, mais ...
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    Nous voilà! Premier jour de dernière année! Et euh ...
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    Je regarde autour de ces enfants que je connais toute ma vie et je me demande ...
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    Qu'est-il arrivé?
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    Étudiants: Freak! Salope! Burnout! Bug-yeux! Poseur! Lardass!
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    V: Nous étions si petit, heureux et brillant, étiquette à jouer et pourchassé.
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    S: Freak! Salope! Perdant! Petit autobus!
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    V: Le chant et battements de mains, rire et faire la sieste,
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    la cuisson des biscuits, pâte manger.
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    S: Bull d * ke! Coincé! Bossu!
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    V: Ensuite, nous avons eu plus, ce fut le déclencheur,
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    comme les Huns envahissent Rome.
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    Girl: Aïe! V: Oh, désolé! Pardon..
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    Bienvenue à mon école, ce n'est pas pas l'école secondaire.
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    C'est le Thunderdome.
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    Retenez votre souffle, et compter les jours. Nous sommes diplômés bientôt.
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    S: White trash!
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    V: Collège sera le paradis si je ne suis pas mort en Juin!
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    Mais je sais, je sais
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    La vie peut être belle.
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    Je prie, je prie pour une meilleure façon.
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    Si nous avons changé à l'époque, nous pourrions changer à nouveau!
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    Nous pouvons être belle.
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    Boy: Aïe! V: Mais pas aujourd'hui.
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    V: Hey, tu vas bien? Garçon: Evadez, ballot!
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    V: ... Désolé.
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    S: Freak! Salope! Cr * pple! Homo! HOMO! HOMO!
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    Les choses vont s'améliorer dès que ma lettre vient de Harvard, Duke, ou Brown.
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    Wake de ce coma, prenez mon diplôme, je peux sauter cette ville.
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    Rêve des murs couverts de lierre et des cafés français de fumée.
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    Boy: Regardez!
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    V: Lutter contre l'envie de frapper un match et mettre ce feu de décharge!
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    Ram: Oooooops!
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    V: Ram Sweeney. 3e année comme secondeur,
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    et l'année 8 fessée lunchtrays, et d'être un énorme DICK.
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    R: Qu'est-ce que vous me dites, SKANK? V: Aah, rien.
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    But I know, I know life can be beautiful!
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    I pray, I pray for a better way.
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    We were kind before, we can be kind once more!
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    We can be beautiful....
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    V: [screams] ..Hey Martha. Martha: Hey.
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    V: Martha Dunstock. My best friends since diapers.
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    She's got a HUGE heart, but... around here, that's not enough.
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    [sighs] Thank you.
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    M: We still on for movie night? V: Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail.
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    M: I rented The Princess Bride!
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    V: [laughs]
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    Wait, again? Don't you have it memorized by now?
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    M: What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending.
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    Kurt: MARTHA DUMPTRUCK! WIDE LOAD! HONK. HAHAAA!
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    V: Kurt Kelly. Quarterback.
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    He is the smartest guy on the football team!
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    Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf.
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    K: [laughs] Honk, hooonk! V: Hey, pick that up, right now!
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    K: I'm sorry, are you actually TALKING to me?
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    R: My buddy Kurt just asked you a question.
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    V: Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives YOU the right to pick on MY friend.
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    You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant.
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    K: You have a zit right there. Students: [laughing]
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    V: Dear diary, why?
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    Boy: Why do they hate me? Girl: Why don't I fight back?
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    K: Why do I act like such a creep?
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    V: Why?
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    M: Why won't he date me? R: Why did I hit him?
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    S: Why do I cry myself to sleep?
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    V: WHY?
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    S: Somebody hug me! Somebody fix me! Somebody save me! Send me a sign, God!
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    Give me some hope here! Something to live for!
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    Aaah~! Heather! Heather! And Heather!
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    V: And then there's the Heathers. They just... float above it all.
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    S: I love Heather, Heather, and Heather!
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    V: Heather McNamara, head cheerleader.
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    Her dad is LOADED. He sells engagement rings.
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    Heather Duke, runs the yearbook.
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    No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants.
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    And Heather Chandler, the almighty.
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    She is a mythic bitch.
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    They're solid teflon. Never bothered, never... harassed.
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    I would give anything to be like that.
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    S: Mmmm~ Boy: I'd like to be their boyfriend.
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    S: That would be beautiful!
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    Girl: If i sat at their table, guys would notice me!
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    S: So beautiful!
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    M: I'd like them to be nicer!
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    S: That would be beautiful!
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    Creepy dude: I'd like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked
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    in an abandoned warehouse, and leave her tied up for the rats.
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    (Editor's note: What the fuck.)
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    H D.: [throwing up]
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    H C.: Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87.
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    H M.: Heather's right, maybe you should see a doctor, Heather!
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    H D.: Yeah, Heather. Maybe I should!
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    Ms. Fleming: Ah, Heather and Heather.
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    H D.: [vomits] F: And Heather.
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    Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting? You're late for class.
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    H C.: Heather wasn't feeling well. We're helping her.
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    F: Not without a hall pass, you're not. Week's detention.
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    V: Um, actually, Ms. Fleming!
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    All 4 of us are out on a hall pass for yearbook committee.
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    F: I see you're all listed....
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    Hurry up, get where you're going.
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    H C.: This is an excellent forgery.
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    Who ARE you?
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    V: Uh... Veronica! ..Sawyer! I, um, I.. I crave a boon.
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    H C.: What boon?
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    V: Um.. Let me sit at your table with you at lunch? Just once! No talking necessary.
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    If people think that you guys tolerate me then they'll leave me alone.
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    Heathers: [laugh]
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    Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes.
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    H D.: How 'bout prescriptions?
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    H C.: Shut up, Heather. H D.: Sorry, Heather....
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    H C.: For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure.
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    H M.: And a symmetrical face.
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    If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves.
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    That's very important.
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    H D.: Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds.
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    H C.: And you know, you know, you know this could be beautiful.
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    Mascara, maybe some lip gloss, and we're on our way.
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    Get this girl some blush, and Heather, I need your brush.
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    Let's make her beautiful.
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    H D.: Let's make her beautiful. H M.: Let's make her beautiful!
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    H C.: MAKE HER BEAUTIFUL!
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    H C.: Okay? V: Okay!
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    Kurt: Out of my way, geek! Boy: I don't want trouble!
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    Ram: You're gonna die at 3p.m.
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    Girls: Don't you dare touch me, get away, pervert!
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    Boy: What did I ever to to them?!
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    Students: Who could survive this?! I can't escape this! I think I'm dying!
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    Fleming: Who's that with Heather?
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    S: WOAH!
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    Heather, Heather, Heather,
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    and someone!
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    Heather, Heather, Heather,
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    and a babe!
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    Heather! Heather! Heather!
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    Martha: Veronica?!
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    S: Veronica! Veronica! VERONICA!
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    V: And you know, you know, you know, life can be beautiful!
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    You hope, you dream, you pray, and you get your way!
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    Ask me how it feels lookin' like hell on wheels.
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    My God, it's beautiful.
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    S: Beautiful!
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    V: I might be beautiful!
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    And when you're beautiful,
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    it's a beautiful frickin' day!
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    S: Heather! Heather! Heather! VERONICA!
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    V: YEA-EA-EEAAAH
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    S: Veronica! Veronica! Veronica! Veronica!
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    VERONICA!
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    Dear diary, It's been 3 weeks since I became friends with the Heathers.
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    [laughs]
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    Actually, "friends" isn't exactly the right word. It's more like, um,
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    The Heathers are people who I work with, and our job is being popular and shit.
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    M: Hey Veronica! V: Hey!
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    M: You really do look beautiful these days
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    V: Aww, thank you, but, it's still the same me, underneath.
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    M: Are you sure?
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    V: Oh, look, um... I'm really sorry that I flaked on movie night last week.
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    I've just.. I've had a LOT going on.
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    M: I get that!
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    You're with the Heathers now! That's exciting.
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    V: It's whatever, but we'll hang soon, I promise!
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    H D.: VERONICA!
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    Heather says to haul ass to the table, pronto.
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    V: How very.
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    H C.: Veronica! I need a forgery in Ram Sweeney's handwriting.
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    You'll need something to write on. Heather, bend over!
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    "Hello, beautiful!
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    I've been watching you, and thinking about us in the old days!
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    I hope you can come to my homecoming party this weekend!
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    Miss you, Ram."
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    [gasps] Put an "XO" after the signature!
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    V: What's this for, anyway?
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    H C.: I just found out that Ram used to hang with Marth Dumptruck.
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    V: Well... [scoffs] yeah, in kindergarten. We all did.
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    H D.: We all didn't kiss on the kickball field!
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    H M.: Oh, that's right, I remember! Ram kissed Martha Dumptruck!
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    It was disgusting!
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    H C.: Perfect!
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    K: It'd be so righteous to be in the middle of a
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    Heather Chandler-Veronica Sawyer sandwich.
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    R: Hell yeah. Punch it in!
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    H C.: Ram!
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    Be a sweetie and give this note to Martha Dumptruck for me?
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    V: What?! No!
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    R: Since when do you talk to that lardass?
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    H C.: Oh, don't read it!
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    She's having an extra heavy flow, and wanted some advice from my gyno.
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    K: EW, GROSS!
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    H C.: What are you doing?!
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    V: Please don't do this, okay? Not to Martha.
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    H D.: WHAT? It'll give her shower nozzle masturbation material for weeks.
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    H C.: SHUT UP, HEATHER! H D.: Sorry, Heather!
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    V: Martha has had a thing for Ram for like 12 years now, ok? This...
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    V: This would kill her-- H C.: Are we gonna have a problem?!
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    You got a bone to pick?
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    You've come so far, why now are you pulling on my dick?!
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    I'd normally slap your face off, and everyone here could watch!
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    But I'm feeling nice. Here's some advice:
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    LISTEN UP, BIOTCH.
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    Kurt and Ram: [cheering]
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    D&M: I LIKE
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    C: Lookin' hot, buyin' stuff they cannot!
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    D&M: I LIKE
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    C: Drinkin' hard, maxin' dad's credit card!
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    D&M: I LIKE
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    C: Skippin' gym, scarin' her, screwin' him!
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    D&M: I LIKE
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    C: Killer clothes, All: KICKIN' NERDS IN THE NOSE!
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    C: If you lack the balls, you can go play dolls.
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    Let your mommy fix you a snack!
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    Or you could come smoke, pound some rum and coke,
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    in my Porsche with the quarterback.
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    D&M: WO-OAH! WO-OAH! WO-OAH!
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    All: Honey, whatcha waitin' for?
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    Welcome to my candy store!
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    Time for you to prove you're not a loser anymore!
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    And step into my candy store.
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    All: GUYS FALL D: at your feet.
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    D: Pay the check, M: help you cheat.
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    All: ALL YOU D: have to do,
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    C: Say goodbye to Shamu!
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    All: THAT FREAK'S M: not your friend, I can tell in the end,
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    All: IF SHE D: had your shot,
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    All: SHE WOULD LEAVE YOU TO ROT!
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    M: 'Course if you don't care, Fine! Go braid her hair!
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    Maybe Sesame Street is on!
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    M: Or forget that creep, D: and get in my Jeep.
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    C: Let's go tear up someone's lawn!
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    All: WO-OAH! WO-OAH! WO-OAH!
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    Honey, whatcha waitin' for?
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    Welcome to my candy store!
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    You just gotta prove you're not a pussy anymore.
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    And step into my candy store!
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    C: You can join the team, D&M: or you can bitch and moan!
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    C: You can live the dream, D&M: or you can DIE ALONE!
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    C: You can fly with eagles, All: or if you prefer,
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    C: keep on testing me, All: and end up like HER!
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    M: Veronica, look! Ram invited me to his homecoming party!
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    See, I TOLD you there was still something there!
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    This proves he's been thinking about me.
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    V: Color me stoked.
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    M: I'm so happy! [giggles]
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    D: OOH, WO-O-OAH! HONEY, WHATCHA WAITIN' FO--
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    C: SHUT UP, HEATHER!
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    Step into my candy store!
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    D&M: Step into my candy store!
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    All: It's my candy store, it's my candy...
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    IT'S MY CANDY STORE, IT'S MY CANDY...
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    IT'S MY CANDY STORE,
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    IT'S MY CANDY STORE!
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    ???: You shouldn't have bowed down to the swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads.
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    They're gonna crush that girl.
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    V: I'm sorry, what?
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    ???: Clearly, you've got a soul.
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    You just gotta work harder on keeping it clean.
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    "We're all born marked for evil."
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    V: Um, okay. Don't just quote Baudelaire at me and then walk away, excuse me.
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    I didn't catch your name.
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    ???: I didn't throw it.
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    K: Who's that guy in the jacket think he is anyway, Bo Diddley?
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    R: Veronica's into his act, no doubt.
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    K: LET'S KICK HIS ASS.
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    R: No, we're seniors, man. We're too old for that shit.
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    K: HEY, SWEETHEART!
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    What'd your boyfriend say when you told 'im you were movin' to Sherwood, Ohioooo?
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    R: My buddy Kurt just asked you a question
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    K: Hey Ram, doesn't the cafeteria have a "No F*gs Allowed" rule?
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    ???: They seem to have an open door policy for assholes, though.
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    R: Hold his arms.
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    Students: HOLY SHIT!
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    HOLY SHIT!
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    HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIIIIT!
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    V: Why, when you see boys fight, does it look so horrible, yet...
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    feel so riiiight?!
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    I shouldn't watch this crap, that's not who I am.
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    But with this kid...
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    Daaaaamn.
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    Hey,
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    Mr. No Name Kid,
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    so who might you be?
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    And could you fight for me?
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    And hey,
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    could you face the crowd?
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    Could you be seen with me, and still act proud?
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    [laughs]
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    Hey, could you hold my hand?
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    And could you carry me through No Man's Land?
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    It's fine...
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    if you don't agree.
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    But I would fight for you,
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    if you would fight for me.
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    Let them drive us underground.
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    I don't care how far.
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    You can set my broken bones,
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    and I know CPR.
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    Well, woah.
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    You can punch real good....
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    You've lasted longer than I thought you would. So hey,
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    Mr. No Name Kid,
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    if some night you're free,
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    wanna fight for me?
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    If you're still alive,
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    I would fight for you,
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    if you would fight for me!
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    K: MAN, THAT SUCKED!
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    That kid fights better than the real Bo Diddley.
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    R: Hey, have you ever seen Enter The Dragon?
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    Bo Diddley fights with his shirt off, and is like pretty ripped for [redacted] dude.
  • 18:29 - 18:30
    K: F*g!
  • 18:30 - 18:31
    R: SHUT UP!
  • 18:31 - 18:33
    K: RAM'S EATING CHINESE TONIGHT!
  • 18:33 - 18:35
    R: SHUT UP, DUDE!
  • 18:35 - 18:38
    (Editor's Note: I hate them so much.)
  • 18:40 - 18:43
    H C.: God, Veronica. Drool much?
  • 18:43 - 18:46
    You were totally throwing your panties at that new kid.
  • 18:46 - 18:48
    D&M: [laugh weakly]
  • 18:48 - 18:53
    H C.: And judging by your house, you can't afford replacement panties!
  • 18:54 - 18:56
    D&M: [laugh weakly]
  • 18:57 - 19:00
    V: Come on, I-I don't even know his name. H C.: [scoffs]
  • 19:01 - 19:03
    Mr. and Mrs. Sawyer, watch out!
  • 19:03 - 19:04
    Mrs. Sawyer: Oh!
  • 19:05 - 19:07
    Haha, there you go, girls!
  • 19:08 - 19:09
    Care for some pâté?
  • 19:10 - 19:13
    H C.: That is not pâté, it's liverwurst.
  • 19:13 - 19:17
    Mrs.S: Aha... I'm aware of that, Heather!
  • 19:17 - 19:18
    It's a family joke!
  • 19:19 - 19:22
    H C.: Oh... funny....
  • 19:23 - 19:27
    Mr.S: Damnit. Will somebody please tell me why I read this spy crap?
  • 19:27 - 19:29
    V: Oh, because you're an idiot, Dad.
  • 19:30 - 19:34
    Mr.S: Oh yeah. That's it.
  • 19:34 - 19:39
    Sawyers: [all laugh]
  • 19:39 - 19:41
    Mrs.S: So girls, any big plans for tonight?
  • 19:41 - 19:43
    V: Yeah! There's a big homecoming party at Ram Sweeney's house,
  • 19:43 - 19:45
    so I'm gonna catch a ride with Heather.
  • 19:45 - 19:46
    H C.: Speaking of which...
  • 19:48 - 19:49
    V: Ok, uh...
  • 19:50 - 19:52
    Great pâté, Mom, but
  • 19:52 - 19:54
    I gotta motor if we wanna be ready for this party.
  • 19:54 - 19:56
    Mrs.S: Don't let these popular girls change you.
  • 19:56 - 19:57
    V: I need them.
  • 19:57 - 20:00
    Mrs.S: What for? You have other friends! You have Martha.
  • 20:00 - 20:01
    V: Well...
  • 20:01 - 20:05
    Maybe I want more out of life than liverwurst, Mom....
  • 20:08 - 20:10
    Mr.S: Those girls seem really nice.
  • 20:11 - 20:13
    Heathers: SO STEP INTO MY CANDY STORE!
  • 20:13 - 20:20
    It's my candy store, it's my candy... it's my candy store, it's my candy...
  • 20:20 - 20:22
    It's my candy store,
  • 20:22 - 20:26
    IT'S MY CANDY STORE!
  • 20:32 - 20:37
    H C.: [honking horn] VERONICA! DON'T FORGET THE CORN NUTS!
  • 20:37 - 20:39
    IT'S NOT A PARTY WITHOUT CORN NUTS!
  • 20:39 - 20:41
    V: Um, BQ or plain?
  • 20:41 - 20:43
    H C.: BQ!!!
  • 20:48 - 20:50
    ???: Greetings and salutations.
  • 20:50 - 20:51
    You want a Slurpee with that?
  • 20:52 - 20:55
    V: No, but if you're nice, I'll let you buy me a Big Gulp.
  • 20:55 - 20:57
    ???: That's like going to Mickey D's and ordering a salad.
  • 20:57 - 20:59
    Slurpee's the signature dish of the house.
  • 20:59 - 21:02
    ???: Did you say cherry or lime? V: I said "Big Gulp".
  • 21:04 - 21:05
    I'm Veronica, by the way.
  • 21:05 - 21:07
    Are you ever gonna.. tell me.. your name?
  • 21:07 - 21:09
    ???: I'll end the suspense.
  • 21:09 - 21:11
    Jason Dean. JD for short.
  • 21:13 - 21:15
    V: JD.
  • 21:15 - 21:18
    That thing you pulled in the Caf was pretty severe.
  • 21:18 - 21:21
    JD: Well, the extreme always seems to make an impression.
  • 21:21 - 21:22
    V: [laughs]
  • 21:25 - 21:29
    So what's a Baudelaire-quoting badass like you doing in Sherwood, Ohio?
  • 21:30 - 21:31
    JD: My dad's work.
  • 21:31 - 21:34
    He owns a... a deconstruction company.
  • 21:34 - 21:35
    V: "De-construction"?
  • 21:35 - 21:38
    JD: The old man seems to enjoy tearing things down.
  • 21:38 - 21:40
    You seen the commercial: "My name's Big Bud Dean!
  • 21:40 - 21:43
    If it's in the way, I'll make your day!"
  • 21:43 - 21:48
    V: [laughs] And then he pushes the plunger and the screen blows up.
  • 21:48 - 21:50
    [laughs]
  • 21:51 - 21:53
    [clears throat] That's your dad?
  • 21:54 - 21:57
    JD: In all his semi-psychotic glory.
  • 21:57 - 21:59
    V: Yeah, well... everyone's life has got static.
  • 21:59 - 22:06
    H C.: [honks horn] VERONICAAAAAAAAAAA!
  • 22:08 - 22:11
    V: Example: I don't really like my friends.
  • 22:11 - 22:13
    JD: I don't really like your friends either!
  • 22:13 - 22:15
    Bag the party, 'n..
  • 22:15 - 22:15
    hang here.
  • 22:15 - 22:16
    V: Ohh~
  • 22:17 - 22:21
    7/11. Swanky first date.
  • 22:21 - 22:24
    JD: Hey... I love this place.
  • 22:24 - 22:26
    V: No offense, but... why?
  • 22:27 - 22:29
    JD: I've been through 10 high schools.
  • 22:29 - 22:30
    They start to get blurry.
  • 22:30 - 22:34
    No point planting roots, 'cause you're gone in a hurry.
  • 22:34 - 22:40
    My dad keeps 2 suitcases packed in the den so it's only a matter of when.
  • 22:42 - 22:45
    I don't learn their names, don't bother with faces.
  • 22:46 - 22:49
    All I can trust is this concrete oasis.
  • 22:49 - 22:52
    Seems every time I'm about to despair,
  • 22:52 - 22:56
    there's a 7/11 right there.
  • 22:56 - 23:00
    Each store is the same, from Las Vegas to Boston.
  • 23:00 - 23:04
    Linoleum aisles that I love to get lost in
  • 23:04 - 23:07
    I pray at my altar of slush.
  • 23:07 - 23:12
    Yeah, I live for that sweet frozen rush.
  • 23:15 - 23:16
    Ah!
  • 23:19 - 23:23
    Freeze your brain.
  • 23:23 - 23:26
    Suck on that straw, get lost in the pain.
  • 23:26 - 23:30
    Happiness comes when everything numbs.
  • 23:30 - 23:33
    Who needs cocaine?
  • 23:33 - 23:37
    Freeze your brain.
  • 23:37 - 23:41
    Freeze your brain.
  • 23:41 - 23:42
    Care for a hit?
  • 23:43 - 23:45
    V: Does your mommy know that you eat all that crap?
  • 23:45 - 23:46
    JD: Not anymore.
  • 23:46 - 23:50
    When mom was alive, we lived halfway normal.
  • 23:50 - 23:54
    Now it's just me and my dad, we're less formal.
  • 23:54 - 23:57
    I learned to cook pasta, I learned to pay rent.
  • 23:57 - 24:01
    Learned the world doesn't owe you a cent.
  • 24:01 - 24:04
    You're planning that future, Veronica Sawyer.
  • 24:04 - 24:08
    You'll go to some college, and marry a lawyer!
  • 24:08 - 24:11
    But the sky's gonna hurt when it falls,
  • 24:11 - 24:16
    so you better start building some walls!
  • 24:16 - 24:20
    Freeze your brain!
  • 24:20 - 24:23
    Swim in the ice, get lost in the pain!
  • 24:23 - 24:27
    Shut your eyes tight, 'til you vanish from sight.
  • 24:27 - 24:31
    Let nothing remain!
  • 24:31 - 24:34
    Freeze your brain!
  • 24:34 - 24:37
    Shatter your skull, fight pain with more pain!
  • 24:37 - 24:41
    Forget who you are. Unburden your load.
  • 24:41 - 24:44
    Forget in six weeks, you'll be back on the road.
  • 24:44 - 24:47
    When the voice in your head says "you're better off dead",
  • 24:47 - 24:53
    don't open a vein!
  • 24:57 - 25:02
    Just freeze your brain.
  • 25:02 - 25:06
    Freeze your brain.
  • 25:06 - 25:10
    Go on and freeze your brain.
  • 25:12 - 25:13
    Try it.
  • 25:23 - 25:25
    V: Yeah I don't.. really see--
  • 25:25 - 25:26
    OH! SON OF A BITCH!
  • 25:27 - 25:30
    Ow. Ah, ahh...
  • 25:30 - 25:31
    H C.: Veronica!
  • 25:31 - 25:32
    V: Oh, God! I-I gotta go.
  • 25:32 - 25:33
    JD: So I see.
  • 25:33 - 25:34
    H C.: Corn Nuts?!
  • 25:34 - 25:36
    V: They're right here. I'm sorry.
  • 25:36 - 25:38
    H C.: Wave bye-bye to Red Dawn here and let's MOTOR.
  • 25:40 - 25:41
    V: Sorry....
  • 25:57 - 26:00
    Mr. Sweeney: Okay Ram, have fun tonight, but I expect you to act your age.
  • 26:00 - 26:03
    If the neighbors complain about the noise, Paul and I are gonna march in here
  • 26:03 - 26:05
    and knock the sand out of your vagina, you understand me?
  • 26:06 - 26:07
    Ram: Dude, what am I, like 5?
  • 26:07 - 26:09
    Mr.S: I'm your dad, not your dude!
  • 26:09 - 26:10
    Mr. Kelly: That goes double for you, Kurt.
  • 26:10 - 26:13
    You're a guest in Bill's house, and you will treat it with respect.
  • 26:13 - 26:14
    K: Sure thing!
  • 26:15 - 26:17
    Dude. K&R: [both laugh]
  • 26:17 - 26:19
    Mr.K: Hold his arms.
  • 26:19 - 26:20
    K: Oh, I'm just kidding!
  • 26:20 - 26:22
    Mr.K: Who's a great big sissy?
  • 26:22 - 26:25
    Whos going to prom in a bright pink dress? Mr.S: You are!
  • 26:25 - 26:27
    Mr.K: WHO'S A GREAT BIG SISSY?
  • 26:27 - 26:29
    K: I AM A GREAT BIG SISSY.
  • 26:29 - 26:30
    Mr.K: Alright.
  • 26:30 - 26:32
    Enjoy the party, son!
  • 26:32 - 26:32
    Mr.S: Punch it in!
  • 26:35 - 26:37
    LOOK OUT, IT'S A CLAW!
  • 26:42 - 26:43
    K: Man, that sucked.
  • 26:43 - 26:45
    R: Who cares, dude?!
  • 26:45 - 26:48
    The parents are gone and I got my party slippers on!
  • 26:53 - 26:57
    Dad says "act our age". You heard the man, it's time to rage!
  • 26:57 - 26:59
    Students: BLAST THE BASS, BURN OUT THE LIGHT.
  • 26:59 - 27:01
    AIN'T NOBODY HOME TONIGHT!
  • 27:01 - 27:05
    R: Drink, smoke, it's all cool. Let's get naked in my pool!
  • 27:05 - 27:09
    S: PUNCH THE WALL, AND START A FIGHT. AIN'T NOBODY HOME TONIGHT!
  • 27:09 - 27:14
    K: His folks got a water bed. Come upstairs and rest your head.
  • 27:14 - 27:18
    R: Let's rub each others' backs while watchin' porn on Cinemax!
  • 27:19 - 27:23
    S: THE FOLKS ARE GONE, IT'S TIME FOR BIG FUN.
  • 27:23 - 27:24
    BIG FUN!
  • 27:24 - 27:27
    WE'RE UP 'TIL DAWN, HAVIN' SOME BIG FUN.
  • 27:27 - 27:28
    BIG FUN!
  • 27:28 - 27:32
    When mom and dad forget to lock the liquor cabinet,
  • 27:32 - 27:34
    It's big fun. Big fun!
  • 27:34 - 27:35
    BIG FUN!
  • 27:35 - 27:36
    WOO~!
  • 27:37 - 27:41
    V: Okay. Ok ok, so it's salt, and then lime... and then SHOT!
  • 27:41 - 27:42
    H M.: No, it's salt, then shot--
  • 27:42 - 27:44
    H C.: YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
  • 27:44 - 27:45
    V: Wait, really?!
  • 27:45 - 27:46
    Because I feel great!
  • 27:47 - 27:50
    Guy: Veronica! You are lookin' GOOD tonight.
  • 27:52 - 27:53
    V: WOAH.
  • 27:53 - 27:57
    A hot guy smiled at me, without a trace of mockery!
  • 27:57 - 28:01
    S: Everyone's high as a kite. Ain't nobody home tonight!
  • 28:01 - 28:05
    V: Zoned, stoned, I should quit. Hey, is that weed?? I want a hit!
  • 28:05 - 28:09
    S: Fill that joint, and roll it tight. Ain't nobody home tonight!
  • 28:09 - 28:13
    V: Dreams are comin' true, when people laugh, but not at you!
  • 28:13 - 28:15
    I'm not alone, I'm not afraid!
  • 28:15 - 28:18
    I feel like Bono at Live Aid!
  • 28:18 - 28:22
    S: THE HOUSE IS OURS! IT'S TIME FOR BIG FUN.
  • 28:22 - 28:23
    BIG FUN!
  • 28:23 - 28:26
    LET'S USE THEIR SHOWERS, THAT SOUNDS LIKE BIG FUN.
  • 28:26 - 28:27
    BIG FUN!
  • 28:27 - 28:29
    CRACK OPEN ONE MORE CASE.
  • 28:29 - 28:32
    V: I think that's what they call "third base".
  • 28:32 - 28:35
    S: BIG FUN! BIG FUN. BIG FUN!
  • 28:35 - 28:37
    V: That actually looks like All: BIG FUN.
  • 28:37 - 28:39
    BIG FUN. BIG FUN!
  • 28:39 - 28:40
    WOO~!
  • 28:40 - 28:42
    K: ALRIGHT EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP!
  • 28:42 - 28:46
    WHAT'S WESTERBURG GONNA DO TO THE RAZORBACKS AT SUNDAY'S GAME?!
  • 28:46 - 28:49
    R: Gonna make 'em go "Wee! Wee! Wee! Wee!"
  • 28:49 - 28:51
    S: BIG FUN. BIG FUN!
  • 28:51 - 28:53
    H D.: Way to show maturity!
  • 28:53 - 28:55
    S: BIG FUN. BIG FUN!
  • 28:55 - 28:57
    Quick it, jackass, GET OFF OF ME!
  • 28:57 - 28:59
    BIG FUN. BIG FUN!
  • 28:59 - 29:01
    V: Yo, Ram! Emergency.
  • 29:01 - 29:03
    I just saw some freshmen sneaking over the pool fence.
  • 29:03 - 29:07
    R: I hate freshmen! Where are you little pricks?! I'M COMING FOR YOU!
  • 29:08 - 29:09
    V: Hey, are you ok?
  • 29:09 - 29:11
    H D.: I didn't need your help!
  • 29:11 - 29:14
    V: Aww, thanks Heather, but I don't really have to vomit right now.
  • 29:14 - 29:16
    Get it? 'Cause the finger? [laughs]
  • 29:16 - 29:20
    S: THE PARTY'S HOT, HOT, HOT! IT'S TIME FOR BIG FUN.
  • 29:20 - 29:21
    BIG FUN!
  • 29:21 - 29:23
    K: YOU NEED A JELLO SHOT!
  • 29:23 - 29:25
    S: WE'RE HAVIN' BIG FUN. BIG FUN!
  • 29:25 - 29:27
    H C.: Martha Dumptruck, in the flesh.
  • 29:27 - 29:30
    H D.: Here comes the cootie squad! We should--
  • 29:30 - 29:31
    H C.: SHUT UP, HEATHER! H D.: Sorry, Heather!
  • 29:31 - 29:34
    H M.: Look who's with her! Oh my god.
  • 29:34 - 29:38
    Heathers: Dang dang, diggity dang-a-dang. Dang dang, diggity dang-a-dang!
  • 29:38 - 29:41
    V: I can't believe you actually came. M: It's exciting, right?!
  • 29:41 - 29:44
    Oh, uh, excuse me. I wanna say hello to Ram.
  • 29:44 - 29:47
    I brought sparkling cider! [giggles]
  • 29:47 - 29:48
    V: Martha...!
  • 29:48 - 29:52
    H C.: Showing up here took some guts. Time to rip 'em out.
  • 29:52 - 29:56
    H D.: Well who's this pig remind you of? Especially the snout. HA!
  • 29:56 - 30:00
    Hs: Dang dang, diggity dang-a-dang. Dang dang, diggity dang-a-dang!
  • 30:00 - 30:02
    R: Where the hell are those freshmen?!
  • 30:02 - 30:03
    M: Um.. hi Ram!
  • 30:03 - 30:07
    Uh, I wasn't gonna come but... since you took the time to write that sweet note....
  • 30:07 - 30:08
    R: What note?
  • 30:09 - 30:11
    Why do you gotta be weird all the time?
  • 30:11 - 30:14
    People wouldn't hate you so much if you acted normal.
  • 30:15 - 30:18
    [spitting]
  • 30:19 - 30:21
    There's no alcohol in here!
  • 30:21 - 30:23
    Are you trying to poison me?
  • 30:24 - 30:28
    S: Dang dang, diggity dang-a-dang. Dang dang, diggity dang-a-dang!
  • 30:28 - 30:31
    Dang dang, diggity dang-a-dang, DIGGITY DANG-A-DANG!
  • 30:31 - 30:35
    THE FOLKS ARE GONE! IT'S TIME FOR BIG FUN.
  • 30:35 - 30:36
    BIG FUN!
  • 30:36 - 30:39
    WE'RE UP 'TIL DAWN, HAVIN' SOME BIG FUN.
  • 30:39 - 30:40
    BIG FUN!
  • 30:40 - 30:44
    SO LET THE SPEAKERS BLOW, THEY'LL BUY ANOTHER STEREO!
  • 30:44 - 30:48
    OUR FOLKS GOT NO CLUE 'BOUT ALL THE SHIT THEIR CHILDREN DO!
  • 30:48 - 30:52
    WHY ARE THEY SURPRISED WHENEVER WE'RE UNSUPERVISED,
  • 30:52 - 30:53
    IT'S BIG FUN.
  • 30:53 - 30:54
    BIG FUN!
  • 30:54 - 30:55
    BIG FUN.
  • 30:55 - 30:56
    BIG FUN!
  • 30:56 - 30:57
    BIG FUN.
  • 30:57 - 31:00
    BIG FUUUUN!
  • 31:00 - 31:02
    WOO~!
  • 31:06 - 31:07
    V: [screams]
  • 31:08 - 31:10
    H C.: Okay, Westerburgers!
  • 31:10 - 31:13
    Time to celebrate our upcoming victory over the Razorbacks
  • 31:13 - 31:15
    by WHACKING apart their mascot!
  • 31:16 - 31:22
    H M.: We need a volunteer to take the first swing at the piñata!
  • 31:22 - 31:24
    H C.: Martha Dunstock!
  • 31:25 - 31:27
    I think you should do the honors!
  • 31:27 - 31:29
    M: I don't really know this game.
  • 31:29 - 31:33
    H M.: [gasps] Let's show this girl some Westerburg spirit! Whoop!
  • 31:33 - 31:35
    S: [cheering]
  • 31:35 - 31:37
    H M.: Martha! Martha!
  • 31:37 - 31:46
    All: MARTHA! MARTHA! MARTHA! MARTHA! MARTHA!
  • 31:46 - 31:49
    H M.: Bring out the piñata.
  • 31:51 - 31:55
    S: [laughing and cheering]
  • 31:55 - 31:56
    V: Hey, give that to me!
  • 31:56 - 31:57
    H D.: HEATHER, HELP!
  • 31:57 - 31:59
    V: Give it to me now, NOW!
  • 31:59 - 32:01
    R: GIRL FIGHT! KISS! KISS!
  • 32:01 - 32:03
    S: KISS! KISS!
  • 32:03 - 32:05
    V: ENOUGH! What is your DAMAGE, Heather?!
  • 32:07 - 32:09
    You want this thing, then swim for it!
  • 32:14 - 32:15
    M: What's going on?!
  • 32:15 - 32:17
    V: Just go home, ok? I'll explain it to you later.
  • 32:17 - 32:18
    M: Oh, no, I was gonna do the--
  • 32:18 - 32:21
    V: Listen to me, listen to me.. just go, ok? Go...
  • 32:24 - 32:26
    I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry...
  • 32:30 - 32:31
    Well! We gave it a shot, okay?
  • 32:31 - 32:34
    I'm resigning my commission from the Lip Gloss Gestapo.
  • 32:35 - 32:37
    I'm going back to civilian life.
  • 32:37 - 32:38
    H C.: NO.
  • 32:38 - 32:40
    V: Oh, don't spin me! I'm not feeling well...
  • 32:40 - 32:41
    H C.: You don't GET to be a nobody.
  • 32:41 - 32:46
    Come Monday, you're an ex-somebody! Not even the losers will touch you now!
  • 32:46 - 32:49
    Transfer to Washington! Transfer to Jefferson!
  • 32:49 - 32:53
    No one at Westerburg's gonna let you play their reindeer games!
  • 32:53 - 32:56
    V: [coughing and gasping]
  • 32:58 - 32:59
    [vomits]
  • 32:59 - 33:02
    H C.: [screams]
  • 33:02 - 33:05
    I RAISED YOU UP FROM NOTHING!
  • 33:05 - 33:09
    AND WHAT'S MY THANKS?! I GET PAID IN PUKE!
  • 33:09 - 33:13
    V: Ohhh, lick it up, baby! Lick! It! Up!
  • 33:20 - 33:23
    H C.: I know who I'M eating lunch with on Monday.
  • 33:25 - 33:26
    Do YOU?
  • 33:40 - 33:42
    Okay, party people!
  • 33:42 - 33:44
    Where's the goddamn keg?!
  • 33:44 - 33:51
    S: [cheering]
  • 33:55 - 33:58
    V: The demon queen of high school has decreed it.
  • 33:59 - 34:04
    She says Monday, 8a.m. I will be deleted.
  • 34:05 - 34:09
    They'll hunt me down in study hall, stuff and mount me on the wall.
  • 34:09 - 34:14
    30 hours to live, how shall I spend them?
  • 34:14 - 34:18
    I don't have to stay and die like cattle.
  • 34:18 - 34:23
    I could change my name and ride up to Seattle.
  • 34:23 - 34:25
    But I don't own a motorbike.
  • 34:26 - 34:29
    Wait... here's an option that I like!
  • 34:29 - 34:32
    Spend these 30 hours gettin'
  • 34:32 - 34:35
    freaky~!
  • 34:35 - 34:36
    YEAH!
  • 34:36 - 34:40
    I need it hard, I'm a dead girl walkin'!
  • 34:40 - 34:44
    I'm in your yard! I'm a dead girl walkin'.
  • 34:44 - 34:49
    Before they punch my clock, I'm snappin' off your window lock!
  • 34:49 - 34:53
    Got no time to knock, I'm a dead girl walkin'!
  • 34:54 - 34:56
    JD: Woah. Veronica!
  • 34:56 - 34:57
    What are you doing in my room?!
  • 34:57 - 35:00
    V: Shh, shh shhhh!
  • 35:00 - 35:04
    Sorry, but I really had to wake you.
  • 35:04 - 35:09
    See, I decided I must ride you 'til I break you!
  • 35:09 - 35:14
    'Cause Heather says I gots to go! You're my last meal on death row.
  • 35:14 - 35:20
    Shut your mouth, and lose them tighty-whities.
  • 35:20 - 35:21
    Come on!
  • 35:21 - 35:25
    Tonight I'm yours! I'm your dead girl walking!
  • 35:25 - 35:29
    Get on all fours, kiss this dead girl walking!
  • 35:29 - 35:33
    Let's go, you know the drill! I'm hot, and pissed, and on the pill.
  • 35:33 - 35:37
    Bow down to the will of a dead girl walkin'!
  • 35:38 - 35:41
    And you know, you know, you know,
  • 35:41 - 35:42
    it's 'cause you're beautiful.
  • 35:42 - 35:47
    You say you're numb inside, but I can't agree.
  • 35:47 - 35:52
    So the world's unfair, keep it locked out there!
  • 35:52 - 35:54
    In here it's beautiful.
  • 35:56 - 36:00
    LET'S MAKE THIS BEAUTIFUL!
  • 36:00 - 36:01
    JD: That works for me!
  • 36:16 - 36:18
    V: YEAH!
  • 36:18 - 36:21
    Full steam ahead, take this dead girl walkin'!
  • 36:21 - 36:23
    JD: How'd you find my address?
  • 36:23 - 36:26
    V: Let's break the bed, rock this dead girl walkin'!
  • 36:26 - 36:27
    JD: I think you tore my mattress!
  • 36:27 - 36:31
    V: No sleep tonight for you, better chug that Mountain Dew!
  • 36:31 - 36:32
    JD: Okay, okay.
  • 36:32 - 36:36
    V: Get your ass in gear, make this whole town disappear!
  • 36:36 - 36:36
    JD: Okay, okay!
  • 36:36 - 36:40
    V: Slap me, pull my hair, touch me Both: THERE, AND THERE, AND THERE!
  • 36:40 - 36:44
    And no more talkin',
  • 36:44 - 36:48
    V: LOVE this dead girl walkin'! JD: Woah woah. Hey hey. Yeah yeah.
  • 36:48 - 36:53
    Both: Love this dead girl walkin'! JD: Woah woah. Hey hey. Wait Wait--
  • 36:53 - 36:54
    Both: LOVE THIS DEAD GIRL!
  • 36:54 - 36:57
    YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!
  • 36:57 - 36:58
    JD: Ow!
  • 36:58 - 37:05
    Both: YEEEAAAH!
  • 37:16 - 37:18
    H C.: Hellooo, slut.
  • 37:19 - 37:21
    V: Oh, god... how did you get in here?!
  • 37:21 - 37:24
    H C.: I'm like oxygen! I'm everywhere.
  • 37:25 - 37:29
    Really, Veronica?! Sleeping with Ps*cho Trenchcoat Kid?
  • 37:29 - 37:31
    [laughs]
  • 37:31 - 37:33
    I will crucify you for this.
  • 37:34 - 37:36
    Everyone at school's gonna know
  • 37:36 - 37:41
    Good Little Veronica is nothing but a dirty whore.
  • 37:42 - 37:45
    V: Heather... why are you SO determined to hurt me?
  • 37:45 - 37:47
    H C.: Because I can!
  • 37:47 - 37:50
    It'll be so very!
  • 37:50 - 37:54
    S: VERY. VERY. VERY! VERY!
  • 37:54 - 37:58
    H C.: [cackling]
  • 37:58 - 38:00
    V: [screaming]
  • 38:00 - 38:03
    JD: Woah! Veronica.. VERONICA! Veronica!
  • 38:03 - 38:05
    V: [chokes and gasps] JD: God, you're soaking wet!
  • 38:05 - 38:09
    V: Oh, my god.... Oh my god, it was just a dream.
  • 38:11 - 38:12
    JD: What's the rush?
  • 38:12 - 38:14
    V: I need to get to Heather's house.
  • 38:14 - 38:16
    JD: What?! You told me you were done with Heather.
  • 38:16 - 38:18
    V: Yeah, and it was a sweet fantasy! A world without Heather!
  • 38:18 - 38:21
    A world where... everyone is free. Now it's morning.
  • 38:21 - 38:23
    I have to go kiss her arobacized ass.
  • 38:23 - 38:24
    JD: No. V: Yes.
  • 38:25 - 38:27
    I'm.. not strong, like you are.
  • 38:29 - 38:31
    JD: Let me come with.
  • 38:32 - 38:33
    V: ...Really?
  • 38:33 - 38:36
    JD: [chuckles] Yeah. ...For backup.
  • 38:37 - 38:39
    V: Okay! Um....
  • 38:44 - 38:50
    Uh... by the way... Um...
  • 38:51 - 38:52
    You were my first!
  • 39:15 - 39:16
    V: Heather?
  • 39:19 - 39:20
    HEATHER!
  • 39:21 - 39:22
    H C.: Whaaaat?
  • 39:22 - 39:23
    V: Um...
  • 39:25 - 39:27
    It's Veronica, I'm here to apologize.
  • 39:29 - 39:32
    H C.: Hope you brought kneepads, bitch!
  • 39:33 - 39:36
    Fix me a prairie oyster, and I'll THINK about it.
  • 39:37 - 39:38
    V: Prairie Oyster?
  • 39:38 - 39:43
    Oh! Wait, okay. Uh... Raw eggs, um.. vinegar,
  • 39:43 - 39:45
    JD: Hot sauce, worcestershire, salt and pepper.
  • 39:45 - 39:48
    V: Ha.. you know your hangover cures.
  • 39:48 - 39:50
    JD: My dad trained me well.
  • 39:50 - 39:53
    V: Look look look look, here's my revenge, ok?
  • 39:53 - 39:56
    I'm gonna put a flemglobber in her prairie oyster and she'll never know!
  • 39:56 - 39:57
    Ready? Watch.
  • 39:57 - 40:06
    [cat coughing up a hairball sound]
  • 40:07 - 40:08
    It's coming, it's coming.
  • 40:08 - 40:12
    [hacks and spits]
  • 40:13 - 40:14
    [laughs]
  • 40:16 - 40:18
    JD: I'm more of a 'no rust build-up' man myself.
  • 40:19 - 40:22
    V: Oh, ok! Don't be a dick, that stuff woud kill her.
  • 40:22 - 40:24
    JD: Thus ending her hangover!
  • 40:26 - 40:29
    I say... we go with Big Blue.
  • 40:29 - 40:30
    V: [scoffs] You can't just go....
  • 40:32 - 40:33
    Uh...
  • 40:34 - 40:37
    Except she would never drink something that looks like that.
  • 40:38 - 40:39
    JD: You're right.
  • 40:40 - 40:44
    We'll use a mug! That way, she'll have no idea WHAT she's drinking.
  • 40:47 - 40:48
    V: [clears throat]
  • 40:48 - 40:50
    JD: Chickeeeen! [clucking]
  • 40:50 - 40:52
    V: You know, you're not funny.
  • 40:53 - 40:53
    JD: Okay.
  • 40:54 - 40:57
    Okay, yeah. I'm sorry.
  • 41:02 - 41:05
    H C.: PRAIRIE OYSTER! CHOP CHOP!
  • 41:07 - 41:08
    JD: Veronica, you...
  • 41:09 - 41:09
    V: What?
  • 41:12 - 41:13
    JD: ...Nevermind.
  • 41:15 - 41:16
    V: Okay!
  • 41:19 - 41:21
    Good morning, Heather.
  • 41:21 - 41:23
    H C.: Awww, Veronica.
  • 41:24 - 41:27
    And Jessie James, quelle surprise.
  • 41:28 - 41:31
    Well, let's get to it! Beg!
  • 41:31 - 41:36
    V: Okay, um... I-I think that last night, we both said a lot of things that--
  • 41:36 - 41:39
    H C.: I, actually, would prefer you did this on your knees.
  • 41:39 - 41:42
    In front of your boy toy here!
  • 41:43 - 41:44
    V: Um...
  • 41:46 - 41:50
    V: I'm-I'm really sorry-- H C.: [laughs]
  • 41:50 - 41:52
    Do I look like I'm kidding?
  • 41:53 - 41:54
    DOWN.
  • 41:59 - 42:01
    Nice....
  • 42:03 - 42:05
    But you're still dead to me.
  • 42:14 - 42:19
    [choking]
  • 42:20 - 42:23
    CORN... NUTS!
  • 42:36 - 42:39
    JD: Hoooly shit!
  • 42:39 - 42:41
    V: Wait, wait, wait wait....
  • 42:41 - 42:42
    Oh my GOD.
  • 42:42 - 42:45
    OH MY GOD! DON'T JUST STAND THERE, CALL 911.
  • 42:45 - 42:46
    JD: It's a little late for that.
  • 42:46 - 42:49
    V: Heather! ..Heather!! Heather....
  • 42:51 - 42:52
    Oh my god....
  • 42:53 - 42:55
    Oh my god, I just KILLED my best friend!
  • 42:55 - 42:57
    JD: And your worst enemy! V: Same.. difference!!
  • 43:00 - 43:02
    The police are gonna think that I did this on purpose.
  • 43:02 - 43:06
    Oh my god... they're gonna have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin.
  • 43:08 - 43:10
    JD: Unless...
  • 43:11 - 43:16
    Oh, look! She was reading... The Bell Jar!
  • 43:20 - 43:22
    V: Oh, no. JD: Oh, yes!
  • 43:22 - 43:24
    You can fake her handwriting.
  • 43:24 - 43:26
    Just.. make it sound deep. Like this...
  • 43:26 - 43:31
    I had pain in my path... like Sylvia Plath...
  • 43:31 - 43:34
    JD: My problems were myriad. V: I was having my period.
  • 43:36 - 43:38
    [laughs]
  • 43:39 - 43:41
    [continues laughing]
  • 43:42 - 43:47
    [still laughing]
  • 43:49 - 43:50
    OH MY GOD!
  • 43:50 - 43:53
    JD: This isn't funny, you could go to jail!! Get your head on straight, NOW.
  • 43:53 - 43:57
    V: Okay! Ok, ok, ok, ok... Um, Heather would never use the word "myriad", 'cause
  • 43:57 - 43:59
    she missed it on her vocab quiz last week.
  • 43:59 - 44:01
    JD: So it's a badge for her failures at school! WORK. WITH. ME.
  • 44:01 - 44:04
    V: Okay! Okay. Um... Where do I start?
  • 44:05 - 44:07
    JD: Think... long and hard.
  • 44:08 - 44:09
    What would she say?
  • 44:10 - 44:16
    What's her.. her final statement to a cold, uncaring planet?
  • 44:16 - 44:19
    V: Okay, um... Dear world, uh...
  • 44:19 - 44:24
    Believe it or not, I knew about fear. I knew the way loneliness stung.
  • 44:24 - 44:27
    I hid behind smiles, and crazy hot clothes.
  • 44:27 - 44:30
    V: I learned to kiss boys with my tongue. JD: That's good.
  • 44:30 - 44:35
    V: But ohhh, the world, it held me down. Uh...
  • 44:36 - 44:40
    It.. weighed like a... concrete prom queen crown.
  • 44:41 - 44:46
    H C.: No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings.
  • 44:46 - 44:52
    No one gets her insecurity.
  • 44:52 - 44:57
    I am more than shoulder pads and makeup!
  • 44:57 - 45:03
    No one sees the me inside of me.
  • 45:03 - 45:07
    Jesus... you're making me sound like Air Supply.
  • 45:09 - 45:12
    JD: Keep going. This has to be good enough to fool the cops.
  • 45:20 - 45:23
    Cop 1: Woooah! Is it murder?
  • 45:24 - 45:27
    Cop 2: No, look. Suicide note!
  • 45:27 - 45:30
    H C. (and V): They couldn't see past my rock star mystique,
  • 45:30 - 45:32
    they wouldn't dare look in my eyes!
  • 45:32 - 45:38
    But just underneath was a terrified girl, who clings to her pillow and cries.
  • 45:38 - 45:44
    My looks were just like prison bars.
  • 45:44 - 45:49
    They've left me a myriad of scars!
  • 45:49 - 45:50
    H C.: "Myriad"! Nice.
  • 45:50 - 45:55
    All: No one thinks a pretty girl has substance!
  • 45:55 - 46:01
    That's the curse of popularity. Cops: Popularity!
  • 46:01 - 46:06
    Mr. Chandler: I am more than just a source of handjobs.
  • 46:06 - 46:14
    All: No one sees the me inside of me!
  • 46:15 - 46:17
    Principal: Heather Chandler's not your everyday suicide.
  • 46:17 - 46:20
    Coach: Principal Gowan, you should cancel classes.
  • 46:20 - 46:21
    Pr: No way, Coach!
  • 46:21 - 46:25
    I send the kids home before lunch, and the switchboard'll light up like a xmas tree!
  • 46:25 - 46:28
    We're just gonna have to power through this thing.
  • 46:28 - 46:31
    Ms. F: Our children are dying!! Look,
  • 46:31 - 46:35
    I hate to pull out my counter culture bonafides here, I really do,
  • 46:35 - 46:39
    but what this school needs is a good old-fashioned rap session.
  • 46:39 - 46:46
    Now, I suggest we get everybody into the cafeteria and just TALK and FEEL together.
  • 46:47 - 46:50
    Pr: Thank you, Ms. Fleming. Call me when the shuttle lands.
  • 46:52 - 46:55
    Ms.F: [laughs] Go ahead, laaauugh at the hippie!
  • 46:55 - 46:59
    But I am telling you, we all misjudged Heather Chandler.
  • 47:00 - 47:03
    This is the loveliest suicide note I have ever read.
  • 47:03 - 47:08
    F and HC: Box up my clothing for Goodwill, and give the poor my NordicTrack.
  • 47:08 - 47:12
    Donate my car to cr*ppled kids, or to those ghetto moms on crack.
  • 47:12 - 47:18
    Give them my hats and my CDs, my pumps, my flats, my 3 TVs.
  • 47:19 - 47:23
    All: No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings.
  • 47:23 - 47:27
    But I weep for all I failed to be.
  • 47:28 - 47:33
    Maybe I can help the world by leaving.
  • 47:33 - 47:39
    Maybe that's the me inside of me!
  • 47:39 - 47:43
    Pr: Aw, hell! Long weekend for everybody!
  • 47:43 - 47:45
    [all cheering]
  • 47:45 - 47:48
    Ms.F: Alright, not so fast, kids! Here, take these and pass them around.
  • 47:48 - 47:53
    Now, they're refueling the buses, which gives us... a solid half hour of healing.
  • 47:54 - 47:59
    I've mimeographed copies of suicide note so you all can FEEL Heather's anguish.
  • 47:59 - 48:02
    H M.: I never knew about her pain! Ms.F: Go on...
  • 48:02 - 48:05
    Boy: Her life had hit a rocky patch! Ms.F: FEEL.
  • 48:05 - 48:07
    Girl: Deep down, she wasn't cruel or vain! Ms.F: HEAL!
  • 48:07 - 48:10
    Students: She didn't mean to be a snatch!
  • 48:11 - 48:15
    Ms.F: Veronica. You've been awfully quiet, what's on your mind?
  • 48:15 - 48:16
    V: Uh...
  • 48:18 - 48:24
    Maybe Heather realized that, uh, in order to be happy, she had to give up her power,
  • 48:24 - 48:26
    And that the only way to do that was... death?
  • 48:27 - 48:30
    Ms.F: My god! Look what we've done, we're breaking through.
  • 48:30 - 48:32
    Heather would be so proud of you!
  • 48:32 - 48:34
    Students: And you, and you, and you!
  • 48:35 - 48:39
    No one thinks a pretty girl can touch you!
  • 48:39 - 48:41
    Girl: ...Heather touching me!
  • 48:41 - 48:45
    S: But she's made us better than we were!
  • 48:45 - 48:49
    Heather's dead, but she will live inside me!
  • 48:50 - 48:54
    S: And I'll be the me inside of her! H C.: Holy crap...
  • 48:55 - 48:57
    THIS IS AWESOME!
  • 48:57 - 49:01
    S: Heather cried, our sins fell on her shoulders. H.C: JESUS CHRIST!
  • 49:01 - 49:05
    S: Heather died so we could all be free! H C.: I'M BIGGER THAN JOHN LENNON!
  • 49:05 - 49:09
    S: Heather's gone, but she will live forever!
  • 49:09 - 49:13
    M: She's the dove that sings outside my window!
  • 49:13 - 49:16
    Boy: She's the twin from who I'm separated!
  • 49:16 - 49:19
    Girl: She's the horse I never got for Christmas!
  • 49:19 - 49:25
    S: Heather sees the me inside of me!
  • 49:26 - 49:31
    Heather is... the me inside of me!
  • 49:31 - 49:38
    INSIDE OOOOF
  • 49:38 - 49:39
    ME!
  • 49:48 - 49:51
    H D.: At a time like this, negative people choose to focus on their grief.
  • 49:51 - 49:56
    Well, I hate those people. Because I am a very positive person. I remember
  • 49:56 - 50:00
    the good times, like when Heather and I got our ears pierced at the mall--
  • 50:00 - 50:03
    I can still hear those late night talks on the phone.
  • 50:04 - 50:08
    [speaking Mandarin(?)]
  • 50:08 - 50:10
    -she said, "CORN NUTS!" [still in Mandarin(?)]
  • 50:10 - 50:12
    V: AHH, NO! Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off, turn it off!
  • 50:17 - 50:20
    Damn, how many networks did she run to?
  • 50:21 - 50:24
    JD: Why son, I didn't hear you come in.
  • 50:24 - 50:26
    Bud Dean: Yeah pop, I wanted to introduce you to my new girlfriend!
  • 50:26 - 50:29
    V: Oh, hi! Hey, uh, I'm Veronica.
  • 50:30 - 50:31
    BD: Drink up, cutie.
  • 50:31 - 50:33
    V: It's a little.. early.
  • 50:33 - 50:37
    JD: Dad, hey champ, you know we don't condone underage drinking in this household.
  • 50:37 - 50:40
    BD: Ohh, so you're a good girl.
  • 50:40 - 50:43
    V: Um... uh...
  • 50:43 - 50:44
    JD: Veronica was just leaving-
  • 50:44 - 50:49
    BD: Come on, relax. Just havin' some fun! Huh? [chuckles] Sit, sit.
  • 50:50 - 50:52
    Work was a real pain in the ass today.
  • 50:53 - 50:56
    Some damn tribe of withered old bitches is trying to stop my poor ol' dad from
  • 50:56 - 50:58
    blowin' up this fleabag hotel.
  • 50:59 - 51:02
    All because Glenn Miller once took a dump there.
  • 51:03 - 51:05
    Just like Kansas. You remember Kansas?
  • 51:05 - 51:06
    JD: Yeah.
  • 51:07 - 51:10
    The "Save The Memorial Oak" Society.
  • 51:11 - 51:13
    My pop showed those tree humpers.
  • 51:14 - 51:18
    Thirty bricks of C4 explosives stuck to the trunk.
  • 51:18 - 51:19
    HE WAS--
  • 51:19 - 51:21
    Both: ARRAIGNED BUT ACQUITTED!
  • 51:22 - 51:25
    JD: Goddamn Kansas. BD: Hell of a time, hell of a time.
  • 51:26 - 51:30
    BD: So pop, can I invite my girlfriend to supper?
  • 51:30 - 51:33
    JD: Uhhh, I don't think that's such a good idea, son!
  • 51:33 - 51:34
    BD: Come on, pop!
  • 51:36 - 51:38
    Don't be a square.
  • 51:38 - 51:40
    V: Oh! I.. um...
  • 51:40 - 51:43
    I appreciate the offer, I-I really do, but I-I can't stay, actually
  • 51:43 - 51:46
    'cause my mom is making my favorite.. meal tonight, it's spaghetti!
  • 51:47 - 51:49
    ...with looots of oregano!
  • 51:51 - 51:52
    JD: Nice.
  • 51:52 - 51:55
    Last time I saw MY mom, she was waving at me out the window
  • 51:55 - 51:58
    of a library in... Texas.
  • 51:58 - 51:59
    Right, dad?
  • 52:02 - 52:03
    BD: Right, son.
  • 52:05 - 52:07
    V: Okay! Well, see you tomorrow!
  • 52:11 - 52:15
    Dear diary, JD's dad will NOT be speaking at our wedding.
  • 52:20 - 52:21
    V: Hello?
  • 52:21 - 52:24
    H M.: Veronica? I need help, I'm at the cemetery.
  • 52:24 - 52:25
    V: What's wrong?
  • 52:25 - 52:26
    H M.: Just hurry up, please?
  • 52:26 - 52:27
    It's an emergency.
  • 52:27 - 52:28
    V: Okay!
  • 52:36 - 52:41
    [V taps on car window] [H M. rolls window down]
  • 52:42 - 52:45
    V: Hey! Hi, uh... is Kurt okay?
  • 52:46 - 52:47
    H M.: Oh, he passed out.
  • 52:48 - 52:51
    Me and Kurt and Ram and Heather Duke came out to pour a jub of Thunderbird
  • 52:51 - 52:54
    on Heather's grave, you know, from her homies?
  • 52:56 - 52:58
    But Kurt and Ram drank it all.
  • 53:00 - 53:01
    Kurt: Nooo!
  • 53:02 - 53:04
    H M.: Then Heather and Ram went off together and...
  • 53:04 - 53:06
    Kurt started grabbin' me and wouldn't stop.
  • 53:08 - 53:12
    V: Wait, af- after everything.. that happened at Ram's party,
  • 53:12 - 53:13
    why did you call ME?
  • 53:14 - 53:15
    H M.: Oh, well that was the deal.
  • 53:15 - 53:18
    If I got you to come, Kurt promised to leave me alone!
  • 53:22 - 53:23
    V: So...
  • 53:24 - 53:26
    So YOU avoided date r*pe...
  • 53:27 - 53:29
    by volunteering ME...
  • 53:30 - 53:31
    FOR date r*pe.
  • 53:34 - 53:36
    H M.: God, you make it sound ugly.
  • 53:38 - 53:39
    V: I'm leaving now.
  • 53:40 - 53:45
    K: Heyyyyy, Veronicaaaa!
  • 53:46 - 53:49
    I waited 10 whole beers for you!
  • 53:50 - 53:52
    H D.: GODDAMNIT, Ram! I SAID I'm DONE!
  • 53:52 - 53:55
    R: Come on, Heather, don't walk away!
  • 53:55 - 53:56
    H D.: Sober up, idiot.
  • 53:57 - 53:58
    Heather, unlock the door!
  • 53:59 - 54:00
    [car door opens and closes]
  • 54:00 - 54:04
    R: You can't leave me like this! [slams face on car window]
  • 54:05 - 54:09
    R: You're causing physical pain in my area!
  • 54:10 - 54:13
    It's science, I need relief!
  • 54:13 - 54:15
    K: [grunts and points at Veronica]
  • 54:15 - 54:19
    R: Heyyy, 'Rrrronicaaaa.
  • 54:19 - 54:21
    V: Eugh.. you've got a left hand, use it.
  • 54:21 - 54:23
    K: Don't talk mean like that!
  • 54:24 - 54:26
    R: You'll hurt their feelings....
  • 54:26 - 54:28
    V: Wait... whose feelings?! What are you talking about?
  • 54:29 - 54:31
    R: You make my balls so blue.
  • 54:32 - 54:33
    K: You hurt them badly
  • 54:33 - 54:36
    R: You make my balls so blue.
  • 54:36 - 54:38
    K: They're hanging sadly.
  • 54:38 - 54:40
    R: What did they do to you?
  • 54:40 - 54:42
    That you hate them so.
  • 54:43 - 54:44
    K: Don't run from me.
  • 54:44 - 54:45
    They're all beat up
  • 54:45 - 54:47
    Both: Like a tackling dummy!
  • 54:47 - 54:49
    K: They long for your embrace.
  • 54:49 - 54:51
    R: They're warm like mittens.
  • 54:51 - 54:54
    K: They'll curl up on your face.
  • 54:54 - 54:55
    R: And purr like kittens.
  • 54:56 - 54:58
    K: You make my balls so blue.
  • 54:58 - 55:01
    Both: Just look at them glow!
  • 55:01 - 55:03
    R: They're begging you!
  • 55:03 - 55:04
    Both: Don't make my balls so blue!
  • 55:04 - 55:05
    [V knocking on the car door]
  • 55:05 - 55:06
    V: Heather!
  • 55:06 - 55:07
    Heather! Open the door!
  • 55:07 - 55:09
    H M. & D: Oh no! Oh no, no, no!
  • 55:10 - 55:11
    V: What... open the door!
  • 55:11 - 55:13
    H M. & D: Oh no! Oh no, no, no!
  • 55:14 - 55:16
    K: You make my balls so blue
  • 55:16 - 55:17
    So please say hello!
  • 55:17 - 55:18
    R: Hold 'em!
  • 55:18 - 55:19
    K: And fold 'em!
  • 55:19 - 55:20
    Both: And never let go!
  • 55:21 - 55:24
    K: Once you were geeky and nerdy.
  • 55:24 - 55:26
    R: But they knew you're dirty!
  • 55:26 - 55:28
    K: You're set them on fire!
  • 55:28 - 55:32
    Both: What ever you require they'll do!
  • 55:32 - 55:34
    So take them home
  • 55:34 - 55:35
    to meet your parents!
  • 55:35 - 55:38
    R: They'll wear a suit and tie.
  • 55:38 - 55:40
    And a fancy collar!
  • 55:40 - 55:42
    R: They'll sing a lullaby.
  • 55:42 - 55:44
    Both: La la la la la.
  • 55:44 - 55:47
    Please make these balls not blue!
  • 55:47 - 55:49
    R: Just for a while
  • 55:49 - 55:50
    K: Can't wait til later.
  • 55:50 - 55:52
    Both: My pants are rubbin' like a
  • 55:52 - 55:53
    hot cheese grater!
  • 55:54 - 55:55
    V: Hey give me that one!
  • 55:56 - 55:58
    LOOK! Booze! Drink!
  • 55:58 - 56:01
    K: Aw! Thank you so much! V: You are so welcome.
  • 56:01 - 56:02
    R: They will protect you,
  • 56:02 - 56:03
    K: Defend you,
  • 56:03 - 56:04
    R: Respect you,
  • 56:04 - 56:05
    K: Befriend you-
  • 56:05 - 56:08
    R: Like WInnie-the-Pooh!
  • 56:08 - 56:10
    K: Baby, baby, baby!
  • 56:10 - 56:11
    They're so blue!
  • 56:11 - 56:13
    R: My balls will work for you!
  • 56:13 - 56:15
    They will obey ya!
  • 56:15 - 56:17
    R: They really need rescue,
  • 56:17 - 56:19
    Like Princess Leia!
  • 56:19 - 56:22
    Both: Baby you've gots to come through!
  • 56:22 - 56:24
    K: Teach them to smile!
  • 56:24 - 56:25
    You've got no clue
  • 56:25 - 56:26
    How much these two
  • 56:26 - 56:27
    Depend on you!
  • 56:27 - 56:30
    Please help them through!
  • 56:31 - 56:32
    K, R, & Heathers: My balls are in your court!
  • 56:32 - 56:35
    K &R: Yeah! H. M & D: You make them balls so blue!
  • 56:35 - 56:37
    K &R: You make my balls so blue!
  • 56:37 - 56:40
    H. M & D: You make my balls so blue! K: Oooh! Ow!
  • 56:40 - 56:42
    You make them balls so blue! H. M &D: You shake them K &R: Oh god!
  • 56:42 - 56:43
    You quake them. K &R: My balls!
  • 56:43 - 56:44
    You break-
  • 56:44 - 56:45
    K, R, & Heathers: You make my balls so blue!
  • 56:45 - 56:46
    H. M & D: You take them R: Lookit!
  • 56:46 - 56:47
    You bake them! K: Lookit!
  • 56:47 - 56:48
    H. M & D: Chrissake
  • 56:48 - 56:50
    You make my balls so blue!
  • 56:50 - 56:53
    Please make their dreams come true!
  • 56:53 - 57:00
    And make these balls not blue!
  • 57:12 - 57:13
    V: Dear diary,
  • 57:14 - 57:16
    Close call last night, uh...
  • 57:16 - 57:18
    The only person at the Westerburg who
  • 57:18 - 57:20
    could actually control Kurt and Ram
  • 57:20 - 57:22
    was Heather Chandler.
  • 57:22 - 57:23
    And she is dead.
  • 57:24 - 57:27
    H C.: Shoulda thought of that before you killed me!
  • 57:27 - 57:30
    [hacking and choking] God!
  • 57:30 - 57:33
    I'm gonna be coughing up drain cleaner for eternity!
  • 57:33 - 57:35
    [hacking]
  • 57:36 - 57:36
    V: Uh..
  • 57:37 - 57:39
    I didn't technically kill Heather,
  • 57:39 - 57:41
    and I know that, but I still... feel bad.
  • 57:42 - 57:43
    But...
  • 57:43 - 57:45
    not as bad as I should...?
  • 57:45 - 57:48
    And that... makes me feel even worse.
  • 57:50 - 57:51
    Oh hey, guys!
  • 57:52 - 57:54
    Still really looking forward to that apology from both of you
  • 57:54 - 57:56
    for being two ice cold bitches last night!
  • 57:56 - 58:00
    H D.: Um, cleaning out Heather's locker? Little respect?!
  • 58:00 - 58:03
    H C.: [scoffs] Heather Duke was such a sad little poser.
  • 58:04 - 58:06
    Veronica, tell her to stop touching my STUFF!
  • 58:06 - 58:08
    Veronica!
  • 58:08 - 58:10
    H C.: VERONICA! V: SHUT UP, HEATHER!
  • 58:10 - 58:14
    H D.: YOU shut up! I don't have to shut up ANYMORE!
  • 58:21 - 58:23
    H M.: Hey, that's Heather's scrunchie!
  • 58:23 - 58:25
    H D.: Shut up, Heather! H M.: Sorry, Heather....
  • 58:25 - 58:28
    H D.: Heather Chandler is gone. It's up to me to replace her!
  • 58:28 - 58:30
    V: Replace Heather Chandler?
  • 58:30 - 58:31
    H D.: Please!
  • 58:31 - 58:33
    You need to worry less about me,
  • 58:33 - 58:35
    and more about your reputation.
  • 58:35 - 58:37
    Kurt and Ram have been telling the whole school
  • 58:37 - 58:39
    about your little three-way last night.
  • 58:39 - 58:40
    JD: Three-way?
  • 58:40 - 58:41
    V: Oh!...
  • 58:42 - 58:43
    No- there was no three-way,
  • 58:43 - 58:44
    nothing happened.
  • 58:45 - 58:46
    H D.: I remember differently.
  • 58:46 - 58:48
    I seem to remember there was a--
  • 58:49 - 58:52
    Kurt & Ram: Big sword fight in her mouth.
  • 58:52 - 58:53
    Preppy stud: And she allowed it!?
  • 58:53 - 58:56
    K, R & Prep: Big sword fight in her mouth.
  • 58:56 - 58:58
    H. C & D: It sure sounds crowded.
  • 58:58 - 59:01
    K: And then we both went south.
  • 59:01 - 59:02
    R: And planted our flags!
  • 59:02 - 59:04
    K: My big salami.
  • 59:04 - 59:07
    K & R: Ba-bent her over like origami.
  • 59:07 - 59:08
    Whoa ooh!
  • 59:08 - 59:09
    Whoa ooh!
  • 59:09 - 59:10
    Whoa ooh!
  • 59:10 - 59:12
    Whoa ooh!
  • 59:12 - 59:14
    Everybody was sword fighting
  • 59:14 - 59:16
    in her mouth!
  • 59:16 - 59:17
    Yes we're convinced it,
  • 59:17 - 59:20
    went down right in her mouth!
  • 59:20 - 59:22
    H. C: I hope she rinsed it!
  • 59:22 - 59:25
    Ram: She blew and blew and blew
  • 59:25 - 59:26
    Like they were balloons!
  • 59:26 - 59:27
    K: She lapped us up
  • 59:27 - 59:29
    R: Like a hardy stew
  • 59:29 - 59:30
    K & R: She bit on more than
  • 59:30 - 59:32
    she could chew!
  • 59:33 - 59:35
    H. D: She'll do the same for you!
  • 59:35 - 59:38
    She blew not one guy but two
  • 59:38 - 59:39
    She blew and blew and blew.
  • 59:39 - 59:41
    She's like a freak in a zoo.
  • 59:41 - 59:44
    H. D: Veronica blew two She blew and blew and blew
  • 59:44 - 59:47
    And every word is true.
  • 59:47 - 59:51
    Veronica blew two!
  • 59:51 - 59:54
    H. C: Yeaaah!
  • 60:06 - 60:08
    Students: Freak! Slut! Ps*cho!
  • 60:08 - 60:10
    Slut! Punkass! Slut!
  • 60:10 - 60:13
    Freak! Slut! Ps*cho! Slut! Punkass-...!
  • 60:13 - 60:14
    K and H D.: Whoooore.
  • 60:14 - 60:16
    [Kurt laughing]
  • 60:18 - 60:19
    V: Oh my god....
  • 60:20 - 60:21
    Are you ok?
  • 60:22 - 60:23
    V: Can you look at me? Are you ok?
  • 60:23 - 60:24
    JD: Yeah, yeah I'm fine...
  • 60:24 - 60:25
    How about you?
  • 60:25 - 60:28
    V: Oh yeah, no, I'm fine, I'm um...
  • 60:29 - 60:31
    I'm awesome, I...
  • 60:33 - 60:36
    I'm s- I'm sorry about the waterworks. I just-...
  • 60:36 - 60:39
    JD: They made you cry,
  • 60:40 - 60:43
    but that will end tonight.
  • 60:43 - 60:46
    You are the only thing that's right
  • 60:46 - 60:48
    about this broken world.
  • 60:49 - 60:51
    Go on and cry.
  • 60:52 - 60:54
    But when the morning comes,
  • 60:54 - 60:57
    We'll burn it down and then,
  • 60:58 - 61:02
    we'll build the world again.
  • 61:02 - 61:04
    Our love is God.
  • 61:08 - 61:09
    V: Are you ok?-
  • 61:09 - 61:11
    JD: I was alone.
  • 61:12 - 61:15
    I was a frozen lake.
  • 61:15 - 61:18
    But then you melted me awake,
  • 61:18 - 61:21
    see, now I'm crying too.
  • 61:21 - 61:22
    JD: You're not alone.
  • 61:22 - 61:24
    V: You're not alone.
  • 61:24 - 61:26
    JD: And when the morning comes,
  • 61:26 - 61:29
    V: When the morning comes, JD: We'll burn away that tear,
  • 61:29 - 61:31
    JD: and raise our city here.
  • 61:31 - 61:34
    V: Raise our city here.
  • 61:34 - 61:36
    Both: Our love is God.
  • 61:50 - 61:51
    K: YEAH-LO?
  • 61:52 - 61:54
    V: Hiii~, Kurt!
  • 61:55 - 61:56
    K: It's Veronica...
  • 61:56 - 61:57
    V: Um..
  • 61:57 - 61:59
    Hey, how did you know it was always
  • 61:59 - 62:02
    a fantasy of mine to have 2 guys at once?
  • 62:03 - 62:05
    K: Uhhhhhh...
  • 62:05 - 62:06
    Uhh..
  • 62:06 - 62:07
    Lucky guess.
  • 62:10 - 62:12
    V: Well, if you want it to come true,
  • 62:12 - 62:15
    then meet me at the cemetery at dawn.
  • 62:17 - 62:18
    K: Free pussy.
  • 62:18 - 62:21
    R: And we don't even have to buy it a pizza.
  • 62:21 - 62:24
    K: WHAAT! Both: [laughing]
  • 62:24 - 62:27
    JD: We can start and finish wars.
  • 62:27 - 62:29
    Both: We're what killed the dinosaurs.
  • 62:29 - 62:35
    We're the asteroid that's overdue!
  • 62:35 - 62:37
    The dinosaurs choked on the dust.
  • 62:37 - 62:40
    They died because God said they must.
  • 62:40 - 62:45
    The new world needed room for me and you.
  • 62:48 - 62:50
    JD: I worship you.
  • 62:51 - 62:54
    I'd trade my life for yours.
  • 62:54 - 62:56
    We'll make them disappear.
  • 62:56 - 63:02
    JD: We'll plant our garden here. V: Plant our garden here.
  • 63:02 - 63:04
    JD: Our love is God.
  • 63:04 - 63:06
    V: Our love is God.
  • 63:06 - 63:08
    JD: Our love is God.
  • 63:08 - 63:10
    V: Our love is God.
  • 63:10 - 63:13
    JD: Our love is God.
  • 63:17 - 63:19
    V: Woah, uh...
  • 63:20 - 63:21
    V: Is that real?
  • 63:21 - 63:22
    JD: Yeah.
  • 63:23 - 63:25
    But we're filling it with Ich Lüge bullets.
  • 63:25 - 63:27
    V: Ich Lüge.. what?
  • 63:27 - 63:29
    JD: My grandad scored them in World War 2.
  • 63:29 - 63:32
    They contain this powerful tranquilizer.
  • 63:32 - 63:33
    The Nazis used them to fake their own
  • 63:33 - 63:36
    suicides when the Russians invaded Berlin.
  • 63:37 - 63:40
    We, will use them to knock out Kurt and Ram
  • 63:41 - 63:42
    just long enough to make it
  • 63:42 - 63:44
    look like a suicide pact,
  • 63:44 - 63:47
    complete with a forged suicide note.
  • 63:48 - 63:50
    K&R: Ram and I died because we had
  • 63:50 - 63:53
    to hide our gay forbidden love
  • 63:53 - 63:55
    from a misapproving world.
  • 63:57 - 64:00
    JD: And when the morning comes,
  • 64:00 - 64:02
    they'll both be laughing stocks.
  • 64:02 - 64:07
    Both: SO LET'S GO HUNT SOME JOCKS!
  • 64:09 - 64:11
    K: Hey, hi! Hi!
  • 64:11 - 64:12
    Hi.
  • 64:14 - 64:15
    .. VeronicA.
  • 64:15 - 64:17
    R: So do we just like, whip it out, or what?
  • 64:17 - 64:19
    V: Ah!
  • 64:19 - 64:21
    Take it slow, Ram.
  • 64:22 - 64:23
    Strip for me~.
  • 64:24 - 64:25
    R: Okay...
  • 64:25 - 64:28
    K: Okaaaay~.
  • 64:28 - 64:28
    V: Oh, wow-
  • 64:28 - 64:32
    Ohhhh, woooow!
  • 64:32 - 64:33
    K: You like that?
  • 64:33 - 64:36
    V: I loooove thaaaat....
  • 64:36 - 64:37
    K: What about you?
  • 64:37 - 64:38
    V: Oh! [cough]
  • 64:38 - 64:40
    Uh.. I was hoping...
  • 64:40 - 64:43
    you could rip my clothes off me, sport.
  • 64:44 - 64:46
    K&R: Yeah, we can do that.
  • 64:47 - 64:49
    K: This is the best!!
  • 64:49 - 64:51
    V: This IS the best.
  • 64:54 - 64:55
    V: Okay, count of three!
  • 64:55 - 64:56
    K: Yeah!!
  • 64:57 - 64:59
    All 3: One...
  • 64:59 - 65:00
    Two...
  • 65:00 - 65:01
    JD: Three!
  • 65:01 - 65:02
    [Double gunshot]
  • 65:02 - 65:03
    K: HOLY CRAP!
  • 65:03 - 65:05
    JD: Stay here, I'll get him. K: YOU KILLED MY BEST FRIEND!
  • 65:05 - 65:08
    JD: Kuuurt... KURT! K: WHY ARE YOU CHASING ME?!
  • 65:08 - 65:13
    V: ...Ram? Ram, you're just unconscious, right? K: I'M JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE BO DIDDLEY THING!
  • 65:13 - 65:14
    V: Ram?!
  • 65:14 - 65:17
    JD: GET OFF THE DAMN FENCE! K: I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
  • 65:19 - 65:22
    JD: We can start and finish wars...
  • 65:23 - 65:26
    We're what killed the dinosaurs.
  • 65:26 - 65:30
    JD: We're the asteroid that's overdue.
  • 65:30 - 65:32
    K: STOP BEING A DICK.
  • 65:32 - 65:35
    JD: The dinosaurs choked on the dust,
  • 65:35 - 65:38
    K: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!? JD: They'll die because we say they must!
  • 65:46 - 65:48
    V: What the FUCK have you done?!
  • 65:53 - 65:55
    JD: I worship you...
  • 65:56 - 65:59
    I'd trade my life for yours.
  • 65:59 - 66:02
    We'll make them disappear.
  • 66:02 - 66:08
    We'll plant our garden here....
  • 66:08 - 66:09
    Our love is God.
  • 66:11 - 66:13
    Our love is God.
  • 66:14 - 66:15
    Our love is God.
  • 66:16 - 66:18
    Our love is God.
  • 66:19 - 66:21
    JD: Our love is God.
  • 66:21 - 66:22
    V: OUR LOVE IS GOD.
  • 66:22 - 66:23
    JD: Our love is God!
  • 66:23 - 66:25
    V: OUR LOVE IS GOD.
  • 66:25 - 66:34
    OUR LOVE IS GOD!
  • 66:47 - 66:48
    V: Dear Diary,
  • 66:49 - 66:51
    I'm goin' steady.
  • 66:51 - 66:52
    Mostly he's awesome,
  • 66:52 - 66:54
    if a bit too rock and roll.
  • 66:55 - 66:57
    Lately he's bumped off 3 of my classmates,
  • 66:57 - 67:02
    God have mercy on my soul!
  • 67:02 - 67:07
    They were just seventeen....
  • 67:08 - 67:13
    They still had room to grow...
  • 67:13 - 67:17
    They could have turned out good,
  • 67:17 - 67:20
    and now we'll never know.
  • 67:22 - 67:23
    JD: There's been a lack of girls climbing
  • 67:23 - 67:25
    through my bedroom window lately.
  • 67:25 - 67:26
    V: Take a hint.
  • 67:26 - 67:28
    JD: Okay. You're mad, I get it.
  • 67:28 - 67:30
    V: No, I don't think you do.
  • 67:30 - 67:32
    V: "Ich Lüge" bullets? You lied to me.
  • 67:32 - 67:33
    JD: You were lying to yourself.
  • 67:33 - 67:34
    JD: You wanted them dead too.
  • 67:34 - 67:35
    V: Did not. JD: Did too.
  • 67:35 - 67:36
    V: Did not. JD: Did too.
  • 67:36 - 67:37
    V: Did NOT!
  • 67:37 - 67:37
    JD: Hey!
  • 67:38 - 67:39
    Did they make you cry?
  • 67:39 - 67:40
    V: Yes...?
  • 67:41 - 67:42
    JD: Can they make you cry now?
  • 67:42 - 67:44
    V: No, but you can.
  • 67:44 - 67:46
    JD: Just wait 'til you see the good that comes of this.
  • 67:46 - 67:48
    V: No good could possibly come of this.
  • 67:48 - 67:51
    JD: Call me an optimist!
  • 67:52 - 67:56
    V: Dear diary, My teen angst bullshit has a body count.
  • 68:08 - 68:11
    Mr. Kelly: I don't really know what I'm supposed to say up here.
  • 68:12 - 68:13
    I'm ashamed, certainly.
  • 68:14 - 68:16
    Our family has turned our town into a laughingstock.
  • 68:17 - 68:19
    My boy Kurt isn't who I thought he was,
  • 68:19 - 68:21
    and when I think of the SICK, DISGUSTING things
  • 68:21 - 68:23
    that Kurt and Ram were doing-
  • 68:23 - 68:25
    Mr. Sweeney: YOU WAIT JUST A MINUTE, PAUL.
  • 68:26 - 68:28
    It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world
  • 68:28 - 68:30
    a place our boys could not live in!
  • 68:31 - 68:32
    They were not dirty!
  • 68:33 - 68:34
    They were not wrong!
  • 68:35 - 68:40
    They were two lonely verses
  • 68:40 - 68:42
    in the Lord's great song.
  • 68:43 - 68:44
    Mr.K: Our boys were pansies, Bill.
  • 68:44 - 68:45
    Mr.S: YES!
  • 68:45 - 68:48
    My boy's a homosexual,
  • 68:48 - 68:51
    and that don't scare me none.
  • 68:52 - 68:57
    I want the world to know...
  • 68:57 - 68:59
    I love my dead gay son!
  • 69:05 - 69:06
    I've been thinkin'...
  • 69:06 - 69:07
    prayin'...
  • 69:08 - 69:09
    readin' some magazines,
  • 69:09 - 69:12
    and it's time we opened our eyes!
  • 69:12 - 69:16
    Well, the good Lord made the universe, the Lord created man.
  • 69:16 - 69:20
    And I believe it's all a part of his gigantic plan.
  • 69:20 - 69:24
    I know God has a reason for each mountain and each flower,
  • 69:24 - 69:28
    and why He chose to let our boys get busy in the shower.
  • 69:28 - 69:30
    Crowd: NOO-OOOH!
  • 69:30 - 69:31
    Mr.S: They were not dirty.
  • 69:31 - 69:32
    C: WO-OAH!
  • 69:32 - 69:33
    Mr.S: They were not fruits!
  • 69:33 - 69:34
    Crowd: NO-OH!
  • 69:34 - 69:38
    Mr.S: They were just two stray laces in the Lord's big boots!
  • 69:38 - 69:42
    Well I never cared for homos much, until I reared me one.
  • 69:43 - 69:45
    But now I've learned to love...
  • 69:45 - 69:50
    Mr.S: I LOVE MY DEAD GAY SON! C: HE LOVES HIS SON, HE LOVES HIS SON! HIS DEAD GAY SON!
  • 69:50 - 69:54
    Mr.S: Now I say my boy's in heaven, and he's tannin' by the pool.
  • 69:54 - 69:58
    The cherubim walk him and him, and Jesus says "It's cool!"
  • 69:58 - 70:02
    They don't have crime or hatred, there's no bigotry or cursin'.
  • 70:02 - 70:07
    Just friendly fellows dressed up like their favorite Village person!
  • 70:08 - 70:10
    Mr.S: They were not dirty! C: NO, NO!
  • 70:10 - 70:12
    Mr.S: They just had flair! C: WO-OAH.
  • 70:12 - 70:16
    Mr.S: They were two bright red ribbons in the Lord's long hair!
  • 70:16 - 70:20
    Well I used to see a homo and go reachin' for my gun.
  • 70:20 - 70:23
    But now I've learned to love....
  • 70:23 - 70:24
    AND FURTHER MORE!
  • 70:25 - 70:26
    These boys were brave as hell.
  • 70:26 - 70:28
    These boys, they knew damn well
  • 70:28 - 70:30
    those folks would judge 'em.
  • 70:30 - 70:32
    They were desperate to be free!
  • 70:32 - 70:34
    They took a rebel stance,
  • 70:34 - 70:36
    stripped to their underpants.
  • 70:36 - 70:38
    Paul, I can't believe that you
  • 70:38 - 70:40
    still refuse to get a clue,
  • 70:40 - 70:42
    after all that we've been through.
  • 70:42 - 70:44
    Mr.S: I'M TALKIN' YOU AND ME. C: [gasps]
  • 70:44 - 70:47
    Mr.S: IN THE SUMMER OF '83. C: [GASPS]
  • 71:01 - 71:03
    Mr.K: ...That was one hell of a fishin' trip.
  • 71:05 - 71:08
    C: WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH, WOAH WOAH, WOAH!
  • 71:09 - 71:12
    THEY WERE NOT DIRTY. NO! AND NOT PERVERSE. NO, NO.
  • 71:12 - 71:16
    THEY WERE JUST TWO STRAY RHINESTONES ON THE LORD'S BIG PURSE!
  • 71:17 - 71:21
    Both: OUR JOB IS NOW CONTINUING THE WORK THAT THEY BEGUN.
  • 71:21 - 71:25
    C: 'CAUSE NOW WE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. WE LOVE YOUR DEAD--
  • 71:25 - 71:29
    Both: They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings.
  • 71:29 - 71:32
    They grab a mate and roller skate, while Judy Garland sings.
  • 71:32 - 71:36
    They live a playful afterlife that's fancy-free and reckless!
  • 71:36 - 71:38
    Mr.K: They swing up on the pearly gates,
  • 71:38 - 71:41
    All: AND WEAR A PEARLY NECKLACE!
  • 71:42 - 71:43
    Both: THEY WERE NOT DIRTY! C: NO!
  • 71:43 - 71:46
    Both: THEY WERE GOOD MEN! C: WOAH, WOAH.
  • 71:46 - 71:49
    All: AND NOW THEY'RE HAPPY BEAR CUBS IN THE LORD'S BIG DEN!
  • 71:55 - 71:58
    Mr.S: Go forth and love each other now,
  • 71:58 - 72:02
    Both: like our boys would have done.
  • 72:02 - 72:07
    Both: We'll teach the world to love.... C: THE WORLD TO LOVE...
  • 72:07 - 72:09
    All: THE WORLD TO LOVE!
  • 72:09 - 72:13
    Both: I love my dead gay son! C: NOT HALF BAD, YOUR DEAD GAY SON.
  • 72:13 - 72:16
    Both: My son, MY SON! C: WISH I HAD A DEAD GAY SON.
  • 72:16 - 72:17
    All: DEAD
  • 72:17 - 72:17
    GAY
  • 72:18 - 72:24
    SON!
  • 72:48 - 72:49
    JD: [sniffs]
  • 72:50 - 72:51
    What is that?
  • 72:51 - 72:53
    That smell in the air, is that...
  • 72:54 - 72:55
    tolerance?
  • 72:57 - 72:58
    Inclusion.
  • 72:58 - 72:59
    Love.
  • 73:00 - 73:02
    How often can you say it's a good day to live in Sherwood, Ohio?
  • 73:02 - 73:05
    JD: You're welcome, town! V: Hey.
  • 73:05 - 73:08
    You don't have to be so smug about it.
  • 73:08 - 73:08
    JD: No...
  • 73:10 - 73:11
    Your love...
  • 73:11 - 73:13
    keeps me humble.
  • 73:14 - 73:16
    So who's next?
  • 73:18 - 73:19
    Heather Duke?
  • 73:19 - 73:21
    She's the one that started that three-way rumor.
  • 73:21 - 73:23
    I've been underlining meaningful passages in her copy
  • 73:23 - 73:25
    of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean.
  • 73:25 - 73:26
    V: NO!
  • 73:26 - 73:28
    No, I do NOT accept this.
  • 73:28 - 73:29
    We've already killed three people.
  • 73:29 - 73:31
    V: This ENDS right here, right now. JD: Or what?
  • 73:31 - 73:32
    V: I'll...
  • 73:33 - 73:35
    I'll break up with you.
  • 73:38 - 73:41
    JD: Any war has casualties.
  • 73:42 - 73:44
    Doesn't mean it's not worth fighting.
  • 73:45 - 73:46
    What, what..
  • 73:46 - 73:48
    you-you'd rather go to JAIL?
  • 73:48 - 73:48
    Hm?
  • 73:49 - 73:51
    And then give a free pass to the thugs who hurt people?
  • 73:51 - 73:52
    Evil FUCKS
  • 73:52 - 73:54
    that make life SO UNBEARABLE,
  • 73:54 - 73:57
    that you can't stand to live in the world anymore?
  • 73:57 - 73:58
    V: JD...!
  • 74:04 - 74:05
    ...How did your mother die?
  • 74:08 - 74:09
    JD: [scoffs]
  • 74:11 - 74:13
    JD: You really wanna know? V: Yeah..
  • 74:15 - 74:17
    JD: My dad
  • 74:17 - 74:19
    said it was an accident.
  • 74:20 - 74:22
    But she knew what she was doing.
  • 74:24 - 74:26
    She walked into that building
  • 74:26 - 74:27
    2 minutes
  • 74:27 - 74:29
    before dad blew it up.
  • 74:30 - 74:32
    She waved at me out the window,
  • 74:34 - 74:35
    and then...
  • 74:35 - 74:37
    KABOOM...
  • 74:38 - 74:40
    She left me.
  • 74:46 - 74:47
    V: I'm really sorry, I...
  • 74:47 - 74:49
    JD: It's okay.
  • 74:49 - 74:51
    The pain gives me clarity.
  • 74:51 - 74:54
    You and I are special, we have a lot of work to do.
  • 74:54 - 74:55
    V: Wh-what work?
  • 74:55 - 74:57
    JD: Making the world a decent place for people who are decent!
  • 74:57 - 75:00
    V: When does it end?! JD: WHEN EVERY ASSHOLE IS DEAD.
  • 75:06 - 75:08
    V: Fine, we're damaged.
  • 75:08 - 75:11
    Really damaged, but that does not make us wise.
  • 75:11 - 75:13
    We're not special...
  • 75:13 - 75:14
    We're not different.
  • 75:14 - 75:17
    We don't CHOOSE who lives or dies.
  • 75:17 - 75:19
    Let's be normal.
  • 75:20 - 75:21
    See bad movies...
  • 75:22 - 75:25
    sneak a beer, and watch TV.
  • 75:25 - 75:27
    We'll bake brownies,
  • 75:27 - 75:28
    or go bowling...
  • 75:28 - 75:34
    Don't you want a life with me?
  • 75:34 - 75:40
    Can't we be seventeen?
  • 75:40 - 75:46
    That's all I want to do.
  • 75:46 - 75:50
    If you could let me in,
  • 75:51 - 75:55
    I could be good with you.
  • 75:56 - 75:57
    V: People hurt us.
  • 75:57 - 75:59
    JD: Or they vanish.
  • 75:59 - 76:01
    V: And you're right,
  • 76:01 - 76:02
    it really blows.
  • 76:02 - 76:04
    V: But we let go,
  • 76:04 - 76:06
    JD: take a deep breath,
  • 76:06 - 76:09
    V: and go buy some summer clothes!
  • 76:09 - 76:11
    V: We'll go camping.
  • 76:11 - 76:12
    JD: Play some poker.
  • 76:12 - 76:15
    V: And we'll eat some chili fries.
  • 76:15 - 76:17
    V: Maybe prom night!
  • 76:17 - 76:18
    JD: Maybe dancing!
  • 76:18 - 76:21
    V: Don't stop looking in MY EYES!
  • 76:21 - 76:24
    JD: YOUR EYES!
  • 76:24 - 76:30
    Both: CAN'T WE BE SEVENTEEN?
  • 76:30 - 76:36
    IS THAT SO HARD TO DO?
  • 76:36 - 76:40
    IF YOU COULD LET ME IN,
  • 76:40 - 76:46
    I COULD BE GOOD WITH YOU!
  • 76:47 - 76:52
    LET US BE SEVENTEEN,
  • 76:53 - 76:59
    IF WE'VE STILL GOT THE RIGHT!
  • 76:59 - 77:02
    V: SO WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?
  • 77:03 - 77:04
    I WANNA BE WITH YOU.
  • 77:04 - 77:07
    JD: I WANNA BE WITH YOU V: WANNA BE WITH YOU
  • 77:07 - 77:16
    Both: TONIGHT!
  • 77:24 - 77:25
    V: Yeah, we're damaged.
  • 77:25 - 77:27
    JD: Badly damaged.
  • 77:27 - 77:30
    Both: But your love's too good to lose!
  • 77:30 - 77:32
    V: Hold me tighter.
  • 77:32 - 77:33
    JD: Even closer.
  • 77:33 - 77:36
    V: I'll stay if I'm what you choose!
  • 77:37 - 77:40
    JD: Can't we be seventeen?
  • 77:40 - 77:44
    V: If I am what you choose.
  • 77:44 - 77:46
    JD: If we've still got the right.
  • 77:46 - 77:49
    V: 'Cause you're the one I choose!
  • 77:49 - 77:54
    JD: You're the one I choose.
  • 77:56 - 78:03
    Both: You're the one I choose!
  • 78:20 - 78:23
    H C.: And they lived happily ever after!
  • 78:24 - 78:25
    You really believe that?
  • 78:25 - 78:28
    You think it all goes back to normal?
  • 78:28 - 78:28
    [scoffs]
  • 78:28 - 78:30
    Don't give me that wounded look.
  • 78:31 - 78:32
    You know exactly what he is,
  • 78:32 - 78:34
    and you LOVE it.
  • 78:34 - 78:35
    V: Just stop talking.
  • 78:35 - 78:38
    H C.: Only a true dead best friend would give it to you straight!
  • 78:39 - 78:40
    M: Veronica, I need your help!
  • 78:40 - 78:41
    V: Sure! What?
  • 78:41 - 78:43
    M: Something doesn't add up.
  • 78:43 - 78:45
    I think Ram and Kurt were murdered.
  • 78:45 - 78:49
    H C.: Well FUCK ME gently with a chainsaw!
  • 78:52 - 78:56
    Nancy Drew is onto you, Veronica!
  • 78:57 - 78:58
    V: Why would you say that?
  • 78:58 - 78:59
    They found a suicide note.
  • 78:59 - 79:01
    M: Well, it could've been faked!
  • 79:01 - 79:03
    You forge stuff all the time, right?
  • 79:03 - 79:03
    V: Right...
  • 79:03 - 79:05
    H C.: I am in love
  • 79:05 - 79:08
    with this fat girl!
  • 79:08 - 79:09
    V: That's ridiculous,
  • 79:09 - 79:11
    who'd wanna kill Ram and Kurt?
  • 79:11 - 79:13
    M: I'm thinking it was your friend JD.
  • 79:13 - 79:15
    You saw the way he went after them in the lunch room.
  • 79:15 - 79:17
    K: Yeah, man. That sucked!
  • 79:17 - 79:19
    M: There's something off about that JD.
  • 79:19 - 79:23
    R: Looks like Veronica's going to lady prison.
  • 79:23 - 79:24
    Girl on girl!
  • 79:24 - 79:30
    K: PUNCH IT IN! K&R: [moaning]
  • 79:36 - 79:38
    M: I wanna look in JD's locker.
  • 79:38 - 79:40
    I thought maybe you could get me the combination!
  • 79:40 - 79:43
    H C.: I bet there's all kinds of interesting things in that locker!
  • 79:43 - 79:45
    [gasp] Maybe some "Ich Lüge" bullets?
  • 79:45 - 79:47
    V: This is a pretty wild theory, Martha.
  • 79:47 - 79:49
    M: I don't care what they were saying at the funeral.
  • 79:49 - 79:51
    Ram was not gay!
  • 79:51 - 79:52
    M: I'd stake my life on it!
  • 79:52 - 79:53
    K: HAHA!
  • 79:53 - 79:55
    Ram's a fatty magnet!
  • 79:55 - 79:57
    R: Yeah? At least I don't have skid marks.
  • 79:57 - 79:58
    K: Bullshit.
  • 79:58 - 80:00
    R: SKID MARKS! SKID MARKS! YOU HAVE SKID MARKS! K: FATTY MAGNET! FATTY MAGNET!
  • 80:00 - 80:02
    V: STOP IT, STOP IT! STOP IT.
  • 80:02 - 80:03
    M: Stop what?!
  • 80:03 - 80:05
    Veronica, what's wrong with you!?
  • 80:05 - 80:08
    V: Sorry.. I'm really sorry, I'm just.. I'm trying to understand, okay?
  • 80:08 - 80:10
    But Ram was gay, why would you think anything else?
  • 80:10 - 80:11
    M: He kissed me. Remember?
  • 80:11 - 80:13
    On the kickball field? V: Yeah, in kindergarten.
  • 80:13 - 80:16
    M: My heart knows the truth. H C.: Time to choose, Veronica.
  • 80:16 - 80:18
    Eat or be eaten.
  • 80:18 - 80:20
    M: Why would Ram write me that note if he didn't still feel something?
  • 80:20 - 80:21
    H C.: You know what to say!
  • 80:21 - 80:23
    M: Why would he invite me to his homecoming party?
  • 80:23 - 80:25
    I'm gonna confront JD.
  • 80:25 - 80:27
    V: No, please don't! H C.: DO YOU HAVE THE GUTS?
  • 80:28 - 80:32
    V: [laughs]
  • 80:32 - 80:35
    Oh, you floor me, Martha, you really do.
  • 80:35 - 80:37
    M: W-what do you mean?
  • 80:38 - 80:41
    V: Ram didn't write that love note, I did.
  • 80:42 - 80:43
    M: [laughs]
  • 80:44 - 80:45
    No...?
  • 80:46 - 80:47
    V: Yeah.
  • 80:48 - 80:50
    The Heathers put me up to it. The whole
  • 80:50 - 80:52
    school was in on the joke and no one
  • 80:52 - 80:54
    laughed harder than Ram.
  • 80:54 - 80:56
    He didn't love you.
  • 80:57 - 80:58
    He was a DICK.
  • 80:59 - 81:00
    And now he's dead.
  • 81:02 - 81:03
    Move on.
  • 81:10 - 81:11
    ...Shit.
  • 81:13 - 81:14
    No. Look, I had to hurt her, okay?
  • 81:14 - 81:16
    If JD caught her going through his stuff,
  • 81:16 - 81:18
    V: he would-- H C.: KILL HER?
  • 81:18 - 81:21
    [gasps] Is that what you're afraid of?
  • 81:21 - 81:24
    I thought the desperado hung up his six guns.
  • 81:25 - 81:28
    Don't you trust him?
  • 81:29 - 81:31
    Ms.F: VERONICA! There you are!
  • 81:31 - 81:33
    I need you girls in place for the assembly.
  • 81:33 - 81:35
    V: Ohh right, this thing! Christ.
  • 81:35 - 81:36
    Ms.F: Alright, it's pedal to the metal!
  • 81:36 - 81:38
    Come on now! Show some muscle.
  • 81:38 - 81:40
    H M.: I'm kinda looking forward to this!
  • 81:40 - 81:42
    H D.: Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?
  • 81:43 - 81:44
    H M.: Sorry, Heather....
  • 81:48 - 81:51
    Ms.F: Helloooo, Westerburg!
  • 81:54 - 81:58
    Let's try that one more time! HELLOOOO, WESTERBURG!
  • 82:01 - 82:04
    There's the spirit! Oh, you all look so lovely.
  • 82:04 - 82:06
    Welcome to this very special assembly.
  • 82:07 - 82:10
    Now, I want you to ignore the television
  • 82:10 - 82:11
    cameras and the news crews.
  • 82:11 - 82:14
    They're just here to document this significant moment.
  • 82:16 - 82:19
    Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions
  • 82:19 - 82:20
    a teenager can make.
  • 82:21 - 82:23
    Yes, yes.
  • 82:23 - 82:26
    So! You know what I'm going to do right now?
  • 82:26 - 82:27
    Boy: Kill yourself on stage?
  • 82:30 - 82:32
    Ms.F: That's not productive, Dwight.
  • 82:33 - 82:38
    Now, my senior thesis at Berkeley was on the subject of--
  • 82:39 - 82:40
    Thank you.
  • 82:43 - 82:47
    --was on the subject of Pediatric Psychotherapeutic Musicology.
  • 82:50 - 82:52
    It was terrifically well-regarded,
  • 82:52 - 82:55
    so I speak with some authority when I tell you that
  • 82:55 - 82:58
    the way to eliminate suicide
  • 82:58 - 83:01
    is by first eliminating fear.
  • 83:01 - 83:05
    By creating a safe zone in which we all are equal!
  • 83:06 - 83:10
    Deep inside of everyone, there's a hot ball of shame.
  • 83:10 - 83:14
    Guilt, regret, anxiety, fears we dare not name!
  • 83:14 - 83:18
    But if we show the ugly parts that we hide away,
  • 83:19 - 83:24
    they turn out to be beautiful by the light of day!
  • 83:24 - 83:27
    Why not shine, shine, shine a light
  • 83:27 - 83:29
    on your deepest fears!
  • 83:29 - 83:31
    Let in sunlight now,
  • 83:31 - 83:33
    and your pain will disappear!
  • 83:33 - 83:37
    Shine, shine, shine, and your scars and your flaws
  • 83:37 - 83:40
    will look lovely because you shine
  • 83:40 - 83:44
    You shine a light!
  • 83:46 - 83:50
    Girl: Everyday's a battlefield, when pride's on the line.
  • 83:50 - 83:54
    Boy: I attack your weaknesses, and pray you don't see mine!
  • 83:54 - 83:56
    Boy: But if I share my ugly parts,
  • 83:56 - 83:58
    Girl: and you show me yours,
  • 83:58 - 84:01
    Boy: Our love can knock our walls down,
  • 84:01 - 84:04
    and unlock all our doors!
  • 84:04 - 84:08
    Come on, shine, shine, shine a light on your deepest fears!
  • 84:08 - 84:12
    Let in sunlight now, and your pain will disappear!
  • 84:12 - 84:15
    Who wants to share what's in their heart?
  • 84:15 - 84:16
    No volunteers? Fine, I'll start.
  • 84:16 - 84:19
    My name's Pauleen. I live alone.
  • 84:19 - 84:21
    My husband left, my kids are grown.
  • 84:21 - 84:23
    In the 60's, love was free!
  • 84:23 - 84:25
    That did not work out well for me.
  • 84:25 - 84:27
    The revolution came and went.
  • 84:27 - 84:30
    Tried to change the world, barely made a dent.
  • 84:30 - 84:32
    I have struggled with despair!
  • 84:32 - 84:34
    I've joined a cult, chopped off my hair,
  • 84:34 - 84:36
    I chant, I pray, but God's not there,
  • 84:36 - 84:38
    so Steve, I'm ending our affair!
  • 85:00 - 85:02
    Audience member: ...I'm sorry?
  • 85:06 - 85:10
    Ms.F: Might be a bad time to mention that I faked it every time.
  • 85:12 - 85:16
    Awwww!
  • 85:17 - 85:19
    Now we're letting each other go!
  • 85:19 - 85:22
    That feels fan-freakin'-tastic!
  • 85:23 - 85:27
    Ms.F: One, two, take me home, kids! S: SHINE, SHINE, SHINE A LIGHT!
  • 85:27 - 85:33
    Ms.F: ON YOUR DEEPEST FEARS, AND YOUR PAIN WILL DISAPPEAR.
  • 85:33 - 85:37
    S: SHINE, SHINE, SHINE, Ms.F: AND YOUR SCARS AND YOUR FLAWS
  • 85:37 - 85:40
    All: WILL LOOK LOVELY BECAUSE YOU SHINE
  • 85:40 - 85:43
    S: YOU SHINE
  • 85:43 - 85:46
    Ms.F: SHINE A LIGHT!
  • 85:46 - 85:48
    All: SHINE, SHINE, SHINE A LIGHT!
  • 85:48 - 85:51
    All: SHINE, SHINE, SHINE, A LIGHT! Ms.F: Yeah!
  • 85:52 - 85:58
    All: SHINE, SHINE, SHINE A LIGHT!
  • 85:58 - 86:00
    SHINE A LIGHT!
  • 86:11 - 86:13
    Okay, kids! Come on, now!
  • 86:13 - 86:16
    I want you to work with me, I want you to share your pain.
  • 86:16 - 86:20
    I want you to drag it out into the light where we all can take a look at it.
  • 86:20 - 86:22
    H M.: I've thought about killing myself!
  • 86:23 - 86:24
    H D.: What the hell are you doing-?!
  • 86:24 - 86:26
    Ms.F: No-no-no-no-no....
  • 86:28 - 86:30
    Keep talking, Heather, you're in a safe place.
  • 86:30 - 86:34
    It's just you and me and the classmates who love you.
  • 86:35 - 86:37
    Share! It's gonna be ok.
  • 86:38 - 86:40
    H D.: Heather, get back in line!
  • 86:40 - 86:41
    Ms.F: Zip it!
  • 86:42 - 86:44
    H M.: The last guy I slept with killed himself
  • 86:44 - 86:47
    because he was gay for his linebacker.
  • 86:47 - 86:48
    And...
  • 86:48 - 86:52
    my best friend seemed to have it all together, but now she's gone too.
  • 86:53 - 86:56
    And now my stomach hurts worse and worse...
  • 86:56 - 86:59
    And every morning on the bus, I feel my heart beating louder and faster,
  • 86:59 - 87:01
    and I'm like "Jesus, I'm on the frickin' bus again
  • 87:01 - 87:04
    'cause all my rides to school are dead."
  • 87:16 - 87:18
    I float in a boat...
  • 87:18 - 87:21
    in a raging black ocean.
  • 87:21 - 87:25
    Low in the water, and nowhere to go.
  • 87:26 - 87:29
    The tiniest life boat...
  • 87:30 - 87:32
    with people I know.
  • 87:33 - 87:36
    Cold, clammy, and crowded,
  • 87:36 - 87:38
    the people smell desperate.
  • 87:38 - 87:43
    We'll sink any minute, so someone must go....
  • 87:44 - 87:46
    The tiniest lifeboat...
  • 87:47 - 87:50
    with people I know.
  • 87:50 - 87:54
    EVERYONE'S PUSHING! EVERYONE'S FIGHTING!
  • 87:54 - 87:58
    STORMS ARE APPROACHING, THERE'S NOWHERE TO HIDE!
  • 87:58 - 88:02
    IF I SAY THE WRONG THING, OR I WEAR THE WRONG OUTFIT,
  • 88:02 - 88:08
    THEY'LL THROW ME RIGHT OVER THE SIDE!
  • 88:08 - 88:13
    I'm.. hugging my knees, and the captain is pointing.
  • 88:13 - 88:16
    Well, who made HER captain?!
  • 88:16 - 88:19
    Still, the weakest must go....
  • 88:21 - 88:23
    The tiniest lifeboat...
  • 88:25 - 88:29
    full of people I know.
  • 88:29 - 88:32
    The tiniest lifeboat...
  • 88:34 - 88:43
    full of people I know....
  • 88:58 - 89:01
    H D.: What's your damage, Heather?! Are you saying Westerburg
  • 89:01 - 89:02
    H D.: is not a nice place? Ms.F: Heather!
  • 89:02 - 89:06
    H D.: Where's your school spirit?! You don't deserve to wear our school colors.
  • 89:06 - 89:11
    Why don't you hop in your little lifeboat, and catch a gnarly wave over to Bennington!
  • 89:12 - 89:15
    Ms.F: Alright! Let's calm it down! Girl: Aww, look!
  • 89:15 - 89:17
    Girl: Ohh, Heather's gonna cryyy~.
  • 89:17 - 89:20
    S: [cooing mockingly]
  • 89:20 - 89:23
    Ms.F: YOUNG LADY, YOU ARE SUSPENDED.
  • 89:23 - 89:26
    Turn the cameras off. Turn 'em off, goddamnit!
  • 89:26 - 89:29
    V: Is that all you care about? TV cameras?
  • 89:29 - 89:31
    Ms.F: I care about saving lives!
  • 89:31 - 89:33
    Heather Duke ruined a valuable teach--
  • 89:33 - 89:36
    V: VALUABLE?! None of us want this spectacle.
  • 89:36 - 89:39
    To be experimented on like guinea pigs, and patronized like bunny rabbits!
  • 89:39 - 89:43
    Ms.F: I don't patronize bunny rabbits!
  • 89:44 - 89:47
    H C.: This is their big secret, Veronica!
  • 89:47 - 89:48
    The adults are powerless.
  • 89:49 - 89:50
    V: Heather trusted you.
  • 89:50 - 89:52
    You said that you would protect her.
  • 89:52 - 89:55
    H C.: They can't help us. Nobody can help us.
  • 89:55 - 89:57
    V: You're useless. H C.: We're alone in the ocean!
  • 89:57 - 89:59
    V: And all of you are idiots! JD: You should sit down now.
  • 89:59 - 90:01
    V: NO! Heather was a monster, just like Kurt and Ram,
  • 90:01 - 90:03
    and they didn't kill themselves, I KILLED THEM.
  • 90:16 - 90:18
    What do you all think of that...?
  • 90:20 - 90:23
    S: [scoff and laugh]
  • 90:23 - 90:28
    H D.: Some people will say anything if they think it'll make them popular!
  • 90:30 - 90:31
    JD: VERONICA!
  • 90:33 - 90:35
    H M.: Stupid child-proof caps!
  • 90:37 - 90:41
    H D.: Aww, look! Heather's going to All: WHINE, WHINE, WHINE ALL NIGHT.
  • 90:41 - 90:43
    H D.: You don't deserve to live.
  • 90:43 - 90:47
    All: WHY NOT KILL YOURSELF? H D.: Here, have a sedative.
  • 90:47 - 90:50
    All: WHINE, WHINE, WHINE H D.: like there's no Santa Claus.
  • 90:50 - 90:54
    All: YOU'RE PATHETIC BECAUSE YOU WHINE,
  • 90:54 - 90:55
    H D.: You whine all night!
  • 90:55 - 90:57
    S: WHIIIIINE. H D.: Your ass is off the team.
  • 90:57 - 90:59
    S: WHIIIIINE. H D.: Go on and bitch and moan.
  • 90:59 - 91:01
    S: WHIIIIINE. H D.: You don't deserve the dream.
  • 91:01 - 91:03
    S: WHIIIIINE. H D.: You're gonna die alone.
  • 91:03 - 91:06
    All: DIE ALONE! DIE ALONE! DIE ALONE! DIE ALONE!
  • 91:08 - 91:08
    V: NO!
  • 91:08 - 91:10
    No, no, no. Stop, stop!
  • 91:11 - 91:13
    H M.: Suicide is a private thing!
  • 91:18 - 91:21
    V: You're throwing your life away to become a statistic in USA Today?
  • 91:21 - 91:24
    That's like the least private thing that I can think of!
  • 91:24 - 91:27
    H M.: But what about Heather and Ram and Kurt?
  • 91:28 - 91:31
    V: If everyone jumped off a bridge, young lady, would you?
  • 91:31 - 91:33
    H M.: ...Probably.
  • 91:37 - 91:42
    V: If you were happy every single day of your life then you wouldn't be human.
  • 91:42 - 91:44
    You'd be a game show host.
  • 91:51 - 91:53
    H M.: Thanks for coming after me.
  • 91:53 - 91:54
    V: Oh, you're welcome!
  • 92:07 - 92:10
    [JD clapping]
  • 92:10 - 92:12
    JD: You are a genius!
  • 92:12 - 92:15
    You had me worried with your little.. confession there, but you pulled it off.
  • 92:15 - 92:18
    Best place to hide, right in plain sight.
  • 92:18 - 92:20
    V: No, I wasn't trying to hide.
  • 92:20 - 92:22
    JD: Why'd you have to meddle with MacNamara?
  • 92:22 - 92:23
    One more dead Heather's a good thing!
  • 92:23 - 92:25
    V: No, she's my friend!
  • 92:25 - 92:27
    JD: Okay, if she's your friend, then why are we letting DUKE live?
  • 92:27 - 92:29
    The bitch that made MacNamara wanna KILL herself.
  • 92:29 - 92:31
    JD: You see, nothing ever CHANGES unless you-- V: Hey, we're out of the
  • 92:31 - 92:33
    V: change business, ok?! JD: Oh, so we're gonna just let Duke run
  • 92:33 - 92:35
    JD: around spreading the same old lies V: No! No, [arguing]
  • 92:35 - 92:38
    JD: to ALL THOSE PEOPLE because all that does-- V: Listen, listen, listen, listen....
  • 92:39 - 92:40
    V: Just...
  • 92:40 - 92:42
    don't talk over me, okay?
  • 92:45 - 92:46
    You promised me.
  • 92:48 - 92:49
    JD: I promised.
  • 92:50 - 92:51
    V: Thank you....
  • 92:57 - 93:01
    Mr.D: Gee, Pop, ever heard of knockin'? I was playin' grab-ass with my girlfriend.
  • 93:02 - 93:04
    JD: Well, you know the rules, young man.
  • 93:04 - 93:06
    When company's over, the bedroom door stays open.
  • 93:08 - 93:11
    Mr.D: So the judge, God bless 'em, told those [something] groupees
  • 93:11 - 93:14
    to suck(?) shit and die! Ha, you should've seen the fireworks.
  • 93:14 - 93:16
    I got it all right here on video.
  • 93:16 - 93:20
    I packed the upper floor with thermals, set off the whole thing with
  • 93:20 - 93:22
    a Norwegian(?) in the boiler room.
  • 93:22 - 93:24
    KABOOM.
  • 93:26 - 93:27
    Right back(?).
  • 93:27 - 93:30
    I'm gonna want my drawstring pants for this!
  • 93:40 - 93:41
    [shoots gun]
  • 93:41 - 93:44
    Mr.D: GODDAMNIT! NO FIREARMS IN THE HOUSE.
  • 93:44 - 93:47
    JD: [laughing] V: Why are you carrying a gun?!
  • 93:47 - 93:49
    JD: It pissed off my dad, it was funny!
  • 93:49 - 93:52
    V: No, it's not funny! None of this is funny. You're carrying a loaded weapon!
  • 93:53 - 93:54
    V: You promised me.
  • 93:54 - 93:55
    JD: Hey, it's a dangerous world.
  • 93:55 - 93:57
    V: Yeah, because of you.
  • 93:58 - 94:00
    You know what, don't call me.
  • 94:00 - 94:01
    V: Don't talk to me. JD: Veronica...!
  • 94:01 - 94:03
    V: No, you don't understand the difference between right and wrong!
  • 94:03 - 94:05
    JD: Come ON, come back!
  • 94:05 - 94:07
    V: No, we're over! JD: But I love you!
  • 94:14 - 94:15
    V: Goodbye, JD.
  • 94:24 - 94:26
    Students: WO-O-O-O-OAH!
  • 94:26 - 94:28
    H M.: Tomorrow night's the pep rally!
  • 94:28 - 94:31
    S: WO-O-O-O-OAH!
  • 94:31 - 94:32
    H M.: Let's get psyched!
  • 94:32 - 94:36
    All: HEY-O, WESTERBURG! TELL ME, WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
  • 94:36 - 94:40
    HERE COMES WESTERBURG, COMIN' TA PUT YOU IN THE GROUND.
  • 94:41 - 94:45
    GO GO, WESTERBURG! GIVE A GREAT BIG YELL.
  • 94:45 - 94:49
    WESTERBURG WILL KNOCK YOU OUT, AND SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!
  • 94:53 - 94:55
    JD: "I now know thee,
  • 94:55 - 94:57
    thou clear spirit."
  • 94:57 - 94:59
    H D.: That's from Moby Dick.
  • 94:59 - 95:00
    JD: I appreciate a well-read woman.
  • 95:00 - 95:02
    H D.: [scoffs] What's in the envelope?
  • 95:03 - 95:04
    Oh crap!
  • 95:04 - 95:08
    JD: Just a tangible reminder that at one point at around age 6, I'm guessing?
  • 95:09 - 95:11
    You and Martha Dunstock were FRIENDS!
  • 95:11 - 95:14
    H D.: Where'd you get these pictures?! Did Veronica give them to you?
  • 95:14 - 95:16
    [scoffs] What do you want, money?
  • 95:20 - 95:21
    JD: A favor.
  • 95:21 - 95:23
    H D.: No way. [scoffs]
  • 95:23 - 95:27
    JD: Oh, I really love this one of you and Martha in the bath tub together?
  • 95:28 - 95:32
    H D.: These photos are ancient history. Nobody cares about the past!
  • 95:32 - 95:36
    Nobody cares about Martha Dumptruck.
  • 95:47 - 95:50
    M: There was a boy I met in kindergarten.
  • 95:51 - 95:54
    He was sweet, he said that I was smart.
  • 95:55 - 95:58
    He was good at sports, and people liked him.
  • 95:59 - 96:02
    And at naptime once, we shared a mat.
  • 96:03 - 96:04
    I didn't sleep,
  • 96:04 - 96:06
    I sat and watched him breathing.
  • 96:07 - 96:10
    Watched him dream for nearly half an hour.
  • 96:12 - 96:15
    Oooooh...
  • 96:16 - 96:17
    Then he woke up.
  • 96:20 - 96:24
    He pulled a scab off one time playing kickball.
  • 96:24 - 96:26
    Kissed me quick,
  • 96:26 - 96:28
    then pressed it in my hand.
  • 96:28 - 96:31
    I took that scab and put it in a locket.
  • 96:32 - 96:36
    All year long, I wore it near my heart.
  • 96:36 - 96:40
    He didn't care if I was thin or pretty.
  • 96:41 - 96:44
    And he was mine until we hit first grade.
  • 96:45 - 96:49
    Oooooh...
  • 96:50 - 96:51
    Then he woke up.
  • 96:53 - 96:58
    Last night I dreamed a horse with wings
  • 96:58 - 97:03
    flew down into my homeroom.
  • 97:03 - 97:08
    On its back, there he sat,
  • 97:08 - 97:12
    and he held out his arms.
  • 97:13 - 97:17
    So we sailed above the gym,
  • 97:17 - 97:21
    across the faculty parking lot.
  • 97:22 - 97:30
    My kindergarten boyfriend and I...
  • 97:31 - 97:32
    and a horse with wings!
  • 97:35 - 97:39
    Now we're all grown up and we know better.
  • 97:40 - 97:43
    Now we recognize the way things are.
  • 97:44 - 97:48
    Certain boys are just for kindergarten.
  • 97:48 - 97:52
    Certain girls are meant to be alone.
  • 98:06 - 98:10
    But I believe that any dream worth having,
  • 98:11 - 98:14
    is a dream that should not have to end.
  • 98:15 - 98:19
    So I'll build a dream that I can live in,
  • 98:19 - 98:25
    and this time I'm never waking up!
  • 98:26 - 98:30
    And we'll soar above the trees,
  • 98:30 - 98:34
    over cars and croquet lawns,
  • 98:35 - 98:40
    past the church, and the lake,
  • 98:40 - 98:44
    and the tri-county mall.
  • 98:44 - 98:48
    We will fly through the dawn
  • 98:48 - 98:56
    to a new kindergarten!
  • 98:57 - 99:04
    Where naptime is centuries long.
  • 99:06 - 99:15
    Oooooh, oooooh.
  • 99:15 - 99:26
    Oooo-oooo-oo-ooh...
  • 99:45 - 99:46
    H D.: Hey guys!
  • 99:46 - 99:48
    Missed you after 8th period!
  • 99:48 - 99:50
    V: We were avoiding you.
  • 99:52 - 99:53
    H M.: What you did to me sucked!
  • 99:53 - 99:56
    H D.: Oh, very very. Here, I need you both to sign this.
  • 99:56 - 99:57
    V: What is that?
  • 99:57 - 100:00
    H D.: It's a petition to have the governor to declare a day of remembrance
  • 100:00 - 100:02
    to honor the victims of suicide.
  • 100:02 - 100:06
    I've gotten everybody to sign it, even the dweebs and losers.
  • 100:06 - 100:07
    V: I'm not signing that.
  • 100:08 - 100:11
    H D.: Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?
  • 100:11 - 100:13
    It was your boyfriend's idea.
  • 100:13 - 100:14
    V: Wait, JD?
  • 100:14 - 100:16
    H D.: He made up the signature sheet and everything.
  • 100:16 - 100:17
    V: Hold on....
  • 100:19 - 100:20
    Look, I...
  • 100:21 - 100:23
    I don't know what JD is up to, but if you know what's good for you,
  • 100:23 - 100:25
    please, just... throw that away.
  • 100:25 - 100:26
    H D.: [scoffs] Not a chance.
  • 100:26 - 100:29
    I'll just fake your signature like I did with Martha Dumptruck.
  • 100:30 - 100:32
    She's in no shape to sign anything today.
  • 100:33 - 100:34
    V: Why not?
  • 100:34 - 100:35
    H D.: It was on the radio!
  • 100:35 - 100:39
    She took a bellyflop off the Old Mill Bridge last night,
  • 100:39 - 100:41
    holding a suicide note.
  • 100:41 - 100:42
    V: Oh my god....
  • 100:43 - 100:45
    V: Wait, is she ok-- H D.: Just some broken bones!
  • 100:45 - 100:51
    Just another geek trying to imitate the popular people, and failing miserably.
  • 100:51 - 100:54
    Ghosts: Yo, girl. Keep it together.
  • 100:55 - 100:58
    I knew you would come far.
  • 100:58 - 101:01
    Now you're truly a Heather.
  • 101:01 - 101:04
    Smell how gangsta you are.
  • 101:12 - 101:13
    V: Martha, I'm so sorry....
  • 101:14 - 101:17
    G: Yo, girl. Feel a bit punchy?
  • 101:17 - 101:20
    She's not looking so well.
  • 101:20 - 101:23
    Still, you've earned that red scrunchie.
  • 101:24 - 101:27
    Come join Heather in hell.
  • 101:27 - 101:30
    Mr.S: Where have you been? Mrs.S: We've been worried sick!
  • 101:30 - 101:33
    And your friend JD stopped by, he told us everything.
  • 101:33 - 101:34
    V: Everything?
  • 101:34 - 101:36
    Mr.S: Your depression, your thoughts of suicide...
  • 101:36 - 101:39
    Mrs.S: He even showed us your copy of Moby Dick.
  • 101:41 - 101:43
    H C.: He's got your handwriting down cold!
  • 101:43 - 101:45
    Mrs.S: Please, honey, talk to us.
  • 101:45 - 101:47
    V: No, you wouldn't understand. Mrs.S: Try me!
  • 101:48 - 101:51
    Look, I've experienced everything you're going through right now.
  • 101:51 - 101:54
    I know it all seems impossibly dramatic.
  • 101:54 - 101:58
    G: GUESS WHO'S RIGHT DOWN THE BLOCK. S: Your problems seem like life and death
  • 101:58 - 102:01
    G: GUESS WHO'S CLIMBING THE STAIRS. Mrs.S: But I promise, they're not.
  • 102:01 - 102:05
    G: GUESS WHO'S PICKING YOUR LOCK. V: You dont know what my world looks like!
  • 102:05 - 102:08
    G: TIME'S UP, GO SAY YOUR PRAYERS! Mrs.S: HAVE A NICE DAY!
  • 102:08 - 102:12
    G: Veronica's running on, running on fumes now. Veronica's totally fried!
  • 102:12 - 102:15
    Veronica's gotta be tripping on shrooms now, thinkin' that she can hide!
  • 102:16 - 102:19
    Veronica's done for, there's no doubt now. Notify next of kin.
  • 102:19 - 102:22
    Veronica's trying to keep him out now,
  • 102:22 - 102:23
    TOO LATE, he got in.
  • 102:23 - 102:24
    JD: Knock, knock!
  • 102:27 - 102:28
    Sorry to come in through the window.
  • 102:29 - 102:30
    Dreadful etiquette, I know.
  • 102:32 - 102:34
    V: Get out of my house.
  • 102:34 - 102:36
    JD: Hiding in the closet? [laughs]
  • 102:36 - 102:37
    Come ooon!
  • 102:38 - 102:39
    Open the door!
  • 102:39 - 102:41
    V: No, I'll scream. My parents will call the police.
  • 102:41 - 102:43
    JD: All is forgiven, baby!
  • 102:43 - 102:46
    Come on out and get dressed. You're my date for the pep rally tonight.
  • 102:46 - 102:47
    V: What? Why?!
  • 102:48 - 102:50
    JD: Well, our classmates thought they were signing a petition.
  • 102:51 - 102:53
    You gotta come out here and see what they really signed!
  • 102:54 - 102:56
    You chucked me out like I was trash,
  • 102:56 - 102:58
    for that you should be dead.
  • 102:58 - 102:59
    But, but, but!
  • 102:59 - 103:01
    Then it hit me like a flash:
  • 103:01 - 103:04
    "What if high school went away instead?"
  • 103:04 - 103:06
    Those assholes are the key!
  • 103:06 - 103:08
    They're keeping you away from me!
  • 103:08 - 103:10
    They made you blind,
  • 103:10 - 103:13
    messed up your mind. But I can set you free!
  • 103:13 - 103:16
    You left me and I fell apart,
  • 103:16 - 103:17
    I punched the wall and cried.
  • 103:17 - 103:18
    BAM, BAM, BAM!
  • 103:18 - 103:21
    Then I found you changed my heart,
  • 103:21 - 103:23
    and set loose all that truth bullshit inside!
  • 103:24 - 103:25
    And so I built a bomb.
  • 103:25 - 103:28
    Tonight our school is Vietnam.
  • 103:28 - 103:32
    Let's guarantee they never see their senior prom!
  • 103:32 - 103:36
    I was meant to be yours!
  • 103:37 - 103:41
    We were meant to be one!
  • 103:41 - 103:45
    Don't give up on me now,
  • 103:45 - 103:49
    finish what we've begun!
  • 103:49 - 103:53
    I was meant to be yours!
  • 103:53 - 103:55
    So when the high school goes BOOM!
  • 103:55 - 103:56
    With everyone inside,
  • 103:56 - 103:58
    [makes explosion noises]
  • 103:58 - 104:00
    in the rubble of their tomb,
  • 104:00 - 104:03
    we'll plant this note explaining why they died!
  • 104:04 - 104:07
    All: "We, the students of Westerburg High, will die.
  • 104:07 - 104:10
    Our burned bodies may finally get through to you.
  • 104:10 - 104:13
    Your society turns out slaves and blanks.
  • 104:14 - 104:17
    No thanks. Signed, the students of Westerburg High.
  • 104:18 - 104:19
    GOODBYE."
  • 104:19 - 104:22
    JD: We'll watch the smoke pour out the doors!
  • 104:22 - 104:24
    Bring marshmallows, we'll make s'mores!
  • 104:24 - 104:29
    We can smile and cuddle while the fire roars!
  • 104:29 - 104:33
    I WAS MEANT TO BE YOURS!
  • 104:34 - 104:38
    WE WERE MEANT TO BE ONE!
  • 104:38 - 104:42
    I CAN'T MAKE IT ALONE,
  • 104:42 - 104:45
    FINISH WHAT WE BEGUN.
  • 104:46 - 104:49
    YOU WERE MEANT TO BE MINE!
  • 104:49 - 104:52
    I AM ALL THAT YOU NEED!
  • 104:53 - 104:56
    YOU CARVED OPEN MY HEART,
  • 104:56 - 104:59
    CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME TO BLEED!
  • 104:59 - 105:00
    V E R O N I C A!
  • 105:00 - 105:03
    Open the.. open the door, please. Veronica, open the door!
  • 105:03 - 105:07
    Veronica, can we not fight anymore please? Can we not fight anymore?
  • 105:07 - 105:10
    Veronica, sure, you're scared, I've been there.
  • 105:10 - 105:11
    I can set you free!
  • 105:12 - 105:14
    Veronica, don't make me come in there.
  • 105:14 - 105:16
    I'M GONNA COUNT TO THREE!
  • 105:16 - 105:17
    One...
  • 105:17 - 105:18
    Two...
  • 105:18 - 105:19
    FUCK IT!
  • 105:26 - 105:27
    No...
  • 105:30 - 105:31
    Veronica...
  • 105:32 - 105:33
    Oh God....
  • 105:36 - 105:37
    Please..
  • 105:37 - 105:38
    don't...
  • 105:39 - 105:41
    leave me alone....
  • 105:42 - 105:43
    You..
  • 105:44 - 105:44
    were...
  • 105:45 - 105:47
    all I could trust....
  • 105:49 - 105:49
    I..
  • 105:50 - 105:51
    can't...
  • 105:51 - 105:53
    do this alone....
  • 105:55 - 105:56
    STILL,
  • 105:56 - 105:57
    I WILL
  • 105:57 - 106:01
    IF I MUST!
  • 106:02 - 106:03
    Mrs.S: Veronica?
  • 106:03 - 106:04
    I made you a snack!
  • 106:05 - 106:06
    ...Veronica?
  • 106:08 - 106:09
    [screams]
  • 106:09 - 106:11
    V: OH, GOD! MOM!
  • 106:12 - 106:18
    [screaming at each other]
  • 106:18 - 106:22
    V: I'M SO SORRY, IT'S-IT'S A JOKE. I'M SO SORRY, I'M SO SORRY!
  • 106:23 - 106:24
    Mrs.S: IT'S NOT FUNNY!
  • 106:25 - 106:27
    V: You're right, you're right, I'm sorry-- Mr.S: What's going on up here?!
  • 106:27 - 106:29
    V: Oh god, Mom, Dad, I'm so sorry.
  • 106:29 - 106:31
    Mr.S: Sorry for what? V: For being a horrible person.
  • 106:32 - 106:32
    Mrs.S: What?
  • 106:33 - 106:34
    Mrs.S: Where are you going?! V: Out.
  • 106:34 - 106:35
    Mr.S: When will you be back?
  • 106:36 - 106:37
    V: ...That's a good question.
  • 106:38 - 106:41
    I wanted someone strong who could protect me.
  • 106:42 - 106:45
    I let his anger fester and infect me.
  • 106:46 - 106:48
    His solution is a lie.
  • 106:48 - 106:50
    No one here deserves to die.
  • 106:50 - 106:51
    Except for me,
  • 106:51 - 106:54
    and the monster I created.
  • 106:54 - 106:56
    Yeah, YEAH!
  • 106:56 - 107:00
    Heads up, JD. I'm a dead girl walkin'.
  • 107:00 - 107:04
    Can't hide from me, I'm a dead girl walkin'.
  • 107:05 - 107:07
    Now here's your final bell.
  • 107:07 - 107:09
    It's one more dance, and then farewell.
  • 107:09 - 107:11
    Cheek to cheek in hell
  • 107:11 - 107:14
    with a dead girl
  • 107:14 - 107:16
    walkin'.
  • 107:16 - 107:18
    S: WO-O-O-O-OAH!
  • 107:18 - 107:20
    H M.: Come on, Westerburg!
  • 107:20 - 107:23
    S: WO-O-O-O-OAH!
  • 107:23 - 107:25
    H M.: Here we go! Here we go, now!
  • 107:25 - 107:26
    Ms.F: Veronica!
  • 107:27 - 107:30
    Jason Dean told me you just committed suicide.
  • 107:30 - 107:33
    V: Yeah, well.. he's wrong about a lot of things.
  • 107:34 - 107:35
    Ms.F: I threw together a lovely tribute,
  • 107:35 - 107:37
    especially considering the short notice.
  • 107:38 - 107:40
    V: Ms. Fleming, what's under the gym?
  • 107:40 - 107:41
    Ms.F: The boiler room.
  • 107:41 - 107:42
    V: Oh... that's it.
  • 107:42 - 107:43
    Ms.F: Veronica, what is going on?!
  • 107:44 - 107:48
    V: Got no time to talk, I'm a dead girl walkin'!
  • 107:50 - 107:52
    S: HEY-O, WESTERBURG!
  • 107:52 - 107:53
    TELL ME, WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
  • 107:54 - 107:56
    HERE COMES WESTERBURG,
  • 107:56 - 107:58
    COMIN' TA PUT YOU IN THE GROUND.
  • 107:58 - 108:00
    GO, GO WESTERBURG!
  • 108:00 - 108:02
    GIVE A GREAT BIG YELL.
  • 108:02 - 108:04
    WESTERBURG WILL KNOCK YOU OUT,
  • 108:04 - 108:06
    AND SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!
  • 108:13 - 108:14
    V: Step away from the bomb.
  • 108:17 - 108:20
    JD: And here I thought you'd lost your taste in faking suicides.
  • 108:21 - 108:23
    Oh-oh, and this little thing?
  • 108:24 - 108:25
    I'd hardly call this a bomb.
  • 108:26 - 108:27
    This is to trigger
  • 108:28 - 108:29
    the packs of thermals
  • 108:30 - 108:31
    upstairs in the gym.
  • 108:32 - 108:33
    Now, those?...
  • 108:34 - 108:35
    Those are bombs.
  • 108:36 - 108:38
    People will see the ashes of Westerburg,
  • 108:38 - 108:39
    and think to themselves,
  • 108:39 - 108:42
    "Now there's a school that self destructed,
  • 108:42 - 108:44
    not because society didn't care,
  • 108:45 - 108:46
    BUT BECAUSE
  • 108:46 - 108:47
    that school
  • 108:48 - 108:49
    WAS society."
  • 108:50 - 108:53
    You know, the only place that Heathers and Marthas can truly get along...?
  • 108:55 - 108:56
    Heaven.
  • 108:57 - 109:00
    V: I wish your mom had been a little stronger.
  • 109:01 - 109:05
    I wish she'd stayed around a little longer.
  • 109:05 - 109:07
    I wish your dad were good!
  • 109:07 - 109:09
    I wish grownups understood!
  • 109:10 - 109:11
    I wish we'd met before
  • 109:11 - 109:13
    they convinced you life is war!
  • 109:14 - 109:15
    I wish you'd come with me!
  • 109:15 - 109:17
    JD: I WISH I HAD MORE TNT!
  • 109:20 - 109:22
    S: HEY-O, WESTERBURG!
  • 109:22 - 109:24
    TELL ME, WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
  • 109:24 - 109:26
    HERE COMES WESTERBURG,
  • 109:26 - 109:28
    COMIN' TA PUT YOU IN THE GROUND!
  • 109:28 - 109:30
    GO, GO WESTERBURG!
  • 109:30 - 109:32
    GIVE A GREAT BIG YELL.
  • 109:32 - 109:34
    WESTERBURG WILL KNOCK YOU OUT,
  • 109:34 - 109:35
    AND SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO--
  • 109:35 - 109:37
    [gunshot] V: [screams]
  • 109:48 - 109:49
    JD: Was that good for you?
  • 109:50 - 109:51
    'Cause it kinda sucked for me.
  • 109:52 - 109:52
    V: JD...?
  • 109:53 - 109:54
    JD: [grunts]
  • 109:54 - 109:56
    V: Just listen to me, just listen to me, ok?
  • 109:56 - 109:59
    Just listen to me, it's over, okay? Which wire do I pull?
  • 109:59 - 110:01
    JD, WHICH WIRE DO I PULL?!
  • 110:02 - 110:03
    J- ....
  • 110:33 - 110:35
    Dear diary, the irony of this is that
  • 110:35 - 110:38
    I never got to write my own suicide note.
  • 110:38 - 110:39
    JD: [grunts]
  • 110:41 - 110:43
    Smart girl.
  • 110:44 - 110:46
    Bring the trigger bomb
  • 110:46 - 110:48
    out here to the football field, and nobody dies.
  • 110:49 - 110:50
    'Cept you...
  • 110:51 - 110:52
    ...if you keep holding onto the thing-
  • 110:52 - 110:54
    V: I don't deserve to live. JD: I respectfully...
  • 110:55 - 110:56
    ...disagree.
  • 110:57 - 110:59
    JD: Give it to me. V: Just stay away from me.
  • 111:01 - 111:02
    JD: Or what?
  • 111:04 - 111:05
    I am damaged.
  • 111:07 - 111:08
    Far too damaged.
  • 111:09 - 111:11
    But you're not beyond repair.
  • 111:13 - 111:15
    Stick around here.
  • 111:17 - 111:18
    Make things better.
  • 111:19 - 111:20
    'Cause...
  • 111:21 - 111:22
    you beat me...
  • 111:22 - 111:23
    fair and square.
  • 111:26 - 111:27
    Please stand back now.
  • 111:32 - 111:33
    Little further.
  • 111:36 - 111:38
    Don't know what this thing will do.
  • 111:39 - 111:40
    Hope you miss me,
  • 111:41 - 111:42
    wish you'd kiss me.
  • 111:42 - 111:46
    Then you'd know I worship you.
  • 111:46 - 111:49
    JD: I'll trade my life for yours. V: Oh my god!
  • 111:49 - 111:52
    JD: And once I disappear... V: Wait, HOLD ON.
  • 111:52 - 111:58
    JD: Clean up the mess down here! V: NOT THIS WAY!
  • 111:58 - 112:00
    JD: Our love is God.
  • 112:01 - 112:03
    Our love is God.
  • 112:04 - 112:06
    Our love is God.
  • 112:07 - 112:13
    Our love is God.
  • 112:14 - 112:15
    V: Say hi to God.
  • 112:15 - 112:16
    [EXPLODE]
  • 112:36 - 112:37
    H M.: Where have you been?
  • 112:37 - 112:39
    People were saying you killed yourself.
  • 112:39 - 112:41
    H D.: You look like hell.
  • 112:41 - 112:42
    V: I just got back.
  • 112:42 - 112:43
    H D.: Hey, what are you doing?!
  • 112:47 - 112:49
    V: Listen up, folks. War is over.
  • 112:49 - 112:52
    Brand new sheriff's come to town.
  • 112:52 - 112:55
    We are done with acting evil.
  • 112:55 - 112:57
    We will lay our weapons down.
  • 112:58 - 113:00
    We're all damaged, we're all frightened.
  • 113:00 - 113:03
    We're all freaks, but that's alright.
  • 113:03 - 113:05
    We'll endure it, we'll survive it.
  • 113:06 - 113:10
    Martha, are you free tonight?
  • 113:15 - 113:16
    Ah...
  • 113:16 - 113:19
    My date for the pep rally kinda blew...
  • 113:20 - 113:22
    me off, so...
  • 113:23 - 113:26
    I was wondering, if you weren't doing anything tonight, maybe we could
  • 113:26 - 113:28
    pop some Jiffy Pop and rent a video?
  • 113:29 - 113:31
    Something with a happy ending.
  • 113:32 - 113:34
    M: Are there any happy endings?
  • 113:35 - 113:38
    V: I can't promise no more Heathers.
  • 113:38 - 113:40
    High school may not ever end.
  • 113:41 - 113:44
    Still, I miss you. I'd be honored,
  • 113:44 - 113:47
    If you'd let me be your friend!
  • 113:47 - 113:49
    M: My friend!
  • 113:49 - 113:54
    Both: We can be seventeen!
  • 113:55 - 114:00
    We can learn how to chill.
  • 114:01 - 114:04
    If no one loves me now,
  • 114:05 - 114:10
    someday somebody will.
  • 114:10 - 114:15
    We can be seventeen.
  • 114:15 - 114:20
    Still time to make things right.
  • 114:20 - 114:23
    One day we'll change the world,
  • 114:23 - 114:28
    but let's kick back tonight!
  • 114:28 - 114:32
    All: Let's go be seventeen!
  • 114:32 - 114:35
    Take off our clothes and dance!
  • 114:35 - 114:38
    Act like we're all still kids,
  • 114:38 - 114:42
    'cause this could be our final chance!
  • 114:42 - 114:45
    Always be seventeen.
  • 114:45 - 114:49
    Celebrate you and I.
  • 114:49 - 114:51
    Maybe we won't grow old,
  • 114:51 - 114:56
    and maybe then we'll never ever die!
  • 114:56 - 115:00
    We'll make it beautiful!
  • 115:01 - 115:04
    We'll make it beautiful!
  • 115:05 - 115:10
    Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful!
  • 115:10 - 115:16
    BEAUTIFUL!
  • 115:10 - 115:16
    BEAUTIFUL!
Title:
FR Sous-titres
Description:

Hethears
more » « less
Video Language:
English
Duration:
01:58:34

French subtitles

Incomplete

Revisions

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