ERB - Batman vs Sherlock Holmes

nice hat

dork

you look like a duck

I had Alfred read your books

he told me they suck

I'll crush your British nuts until

they're bangers and mash

I've seen better detective work

in Tango and Cash

you chump

I kick punks like you off the streets

while you and Velma here

are solving Scooby-Doo mysteries

nothing makes me laugh

but I bet your raps can

so bring it on

bitch

I'm Batman

I once met a rich fellow

who smelled of guano and pain

Holmes explain

I deduce this deuce stain

is Bruce Wayne

the billionaire?

yes, his wealth would allow

this adversary of ours

to afford the toys he needs

since he has no superpowers

you want a battle bat?

bring it then

I heard he has a British butler

good, then he'll be used

to getting served by Englishmen

you're a wack vigilante black pantied

spud with no skill

my sidekick's a doctor

because his flows are so ill

shut up nerds

I serve justice so eat it

my sidekick only comes around

when he's needed!

Boy

Wonder make you wonder

how your ass got killed

bite harder than those hounds

down in Baskerville

I'll blast you with that

Bat-wack-rap repellent

rappel a building, snatch a villain

then by dinner be chillin'

gotta secret 'bout your homegirl

Irene Adler

took her back to my nest

to bam pow kersplat her

I'll shatter that fiddle

with a chop of the hand

holy Conan Doyle let's get 'em

oh god damn

you're not smart

you're selfish

you endanger everyone's life

why don't you let your boyfriend here

go home to his wife?

nobody likes you

not your brother, not your partner

not Scotland Yard

you'll die alone with no friends

except that needle in your arm

this mustn't register on an emotional level

first, exploit childhood tragedy

then gesture with pipe

Watson finishes punchline

next, acknowledge compliment

conclude with killer catch phrase

I believe your parents' homicide

is why you mask your face

you're shamed and traumatized

and haunted by the vast disgrace

of watching like a passive waste

as momma died

and daddy was dispatched with haste

Holmes you've cracked the case

you're a batshit crazy basket case

bloody good rhymes

I've got tonnes

dissing these dynamic douchebags was

elementary my dear Watson

ohhhhh!

who won?

who's next?

you decide