Interview /w James Marshall

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Hi, we're here with the 21Convention

Melbourne, Australia with James Marshall.

Fantastic speech, as always. Love all your speeches.

So, we had a couple questions and

one of them was

The importance of knowing what you want,

in a relationship. How important is that ?

Well,...

fundamental because if you don't know

what you want in a relationship, then

you're at the dictates of what

somebody else wants. Instantly. Or if neither

of you know what either of you wants then

you tend to. (chaos) Yes, absolute chaos :)

Hum,...

and it's really important in terms of

being able to choose the right path, in life.

Hum...

There's lots of people, guys and girls

doing relationships with people they shouldn't be.

Cuz they're not even really sure of what

they want out of a partner.

And so getting your values clear about what,

are you deal breakers ?

What are you not going to put up with ?

Cuz,...

another thing people put up with really awful relationships.

Hum,...

Often because they feel like they don't have any choice.

But if you understand those,

and then you understand what are the elements that you,

are most important in your relationship

Let's say they're the top 3 things that you need to have

to feel satisfied, to feel loved,

to feel appreciated, to feel excited,

in a relationship.

Hum,....and you communicate those

then you're gonna follow the right path.

And the title of your speech was:

" What women want "

So, can you tell me briefly what, what do I want ?

What if, what do women want ?

Well, that...the thing is there.

That brings it up.

I wanted to say, firstly I didn't know

what every woman wants all the time.

Hum,... and it's more of a question for men

to start asking themselves.

Hum,...Because I think

many men just don't think about or don't care.

They're so centered on,

"Ok, what do I want ?

Which is, "I want hot chicks and I want this and that."

The most important thing to understand that is...

If you want to get what you want, then you

have to make sure that those who are

with you, around you get what they want.

And so,

the most important aspect I think is

to understand how to communicate,

to find out what the woman's needs are.

Hum,...

There's something as a generic, or sorry, not generic.

There's general principals.

Things such as being a good leader

and, and one

I'd elaborate by saying a leader

who's worthy, is one who's, those who follow, benefit.

So, every time you want to lead a woman

to do something, whether that's escalating or

go in car with you or have a drink with you,

or whatever.

She needs to feel that's gonna benefit her.

Hum,...

If it's just you trying to robotically lead

or tug her somewhere. And she doesn't enjoy it.

Then, it's not proper leading.

Hum,...

I also looked at the idea of emotional variation

whether a woman likes drama,

in a positive sense of, of feeling like

hum,...

there's expectation, there's uncertainty, there's

excitement leading to pleasurable releases

or resolutions.

And, the other thing,

I guess that a woman really wants, is a man

who is able to stand up to her tests.

Hum,...and

I look at the tests that woman give

as a very positive thing.

Not as, like them being bitchy and just trying to

belittle men. But as something,

where she is trying to see what is his

reactions to things that, uh...he isn't mindful.

Because if she sees that he's not reactive,

in situations which he wasn't planning for,

then he's going to be easy-going, he's gonna

be fun, he's going to be adaptable and all these

things she's gonna enjoy.

Fantastic.

And the other thing was, so,

once you meet a girl, you know that you like her.

You described, ah...effort. And the right sort of effort

and the wrong sort of effort.

Can you tell me what kinda it is the right sort of effort

that you want to put forward ?

Well,...

The, the effort that you put into, hum,...

pursuing a woman

Uh,...

needs to be based on a reality checks.

And,...

And, it's not, it's not men's fault. In the sense that

there's so much incorrect or wasted effort that's being put in.

Let's say the typical one would be.

There's two.

There's on either spectrums. You have,

firstly being arrogant and overbearing and pushy.

Because, there's some schools of thought or

some ideas that man needs to be alpha,

needs to go for what he wants, or whatever.

Which is true, but in temperance to the

response of people around him.

Hum,...

So, if you're constantly trying to push,

and hum,...

be aggressive about what you want,

and you noticed that's not working.

Then you really need to look at the fact that well, if it's not

benefiting her, to, when you try to get what you want.

She's not going to do it.

On the other side, we have this application of

huge amounts of, kind of, passive wimpy

effort that a man will do to be

really nice and pleasant and accommodating.

Hum,...and

always agreeing, being polite and so on

and so to a woman. Thinking that he's kinda

building up these, these credit points, in terms of

certain girls eventually gonna go,

"Wow, he's actually really a great guy. "

Hum,...

She might go, " Wow, he's really a great guy "

But she's not gonna go,

" plus, I want to have sex with him."

She's just gonna go," Cool, there's my friend guy."

Hum, so.

And I, this is such a common thing for

guys I work with. These are men who have

exerted huge amounts of effort in attempting to

create relationships.

And they have.

But they have so shown the person,

demonstrated through their actions,

that what they wanted was, a friendship.

Because they acted like that.

And, and then they're surprised,

when they're trying to switch that over

to being romantic or sexual.

And the girl is like, "Uh, no."

Yeah ?

So, I think it's really important to look at.

Yes, you must apply effort, as

a man to get a woman. Yeah ?

But,...

it needs to be very clear from the,

basically the beginning. That you are

sexually interested in her.

And,..

that you are interested in her desires as well.

You're interested in finding out what is it she wants.

And then you are able to take decisive leadership steps,

where she benefits.

And she follows. As a,...

When you have authority to lead,

towards that.

Because that's gonna save huge amounts of time, because,

if you do it, and she's like, not interested,

you've saved yourself months of

or years of, like, you know, painful wasted effort.

So I hear you are running a tour.

Hmhm.

Through uh, like an adventure tour through Europe.

How would I go about. Or, well, how

would you go about, getting on to that ?

Ok, so, yes. I...

Every summer, European summer

I run two of these tours that are

ten day traveling seduction workshops.

So they are very unique program where we

travel through three of the best countries,

in my opinion, in terms of the most beautiful woman.

Interesting places.

Hum,...and

fantastic places for me to teach guys to learn.

Ah,...

And, so this is primarily an infield workshops

So, it's like every day we are out there, constantly

fine-tuning as well as working

with our female coaches. There's a lot of, you know,

relevant theory to make this a complete transformation.

It's also really a man's initiations.

It's like, not just a bootcamp.

It's a very deep internal-external journey.

Hum,...

The events start running

29th of may to the 10th of june.

And, anyone interested can check out theeurotour.com

and get in contact with me and

I'll call you and talk to you about it.

Fantastic.

So this is Jamie Marshall and

we're here at The 21 Convention.

Bye guys :)

Thank you.