Hi, we're here with the 21Convention
Melbourne, Australia with James Marshall.
Fantastic speech, as always. Love all your speeches.
So, we had a couple questions and
one of them was
The importance of knowing what you want,
in a relationship. How important is that ?
Well,...
fundamental because if you don't know
what you want in a relationship, then
you're at the dictates of what
somebody else wants. Instantly. Or if neither
of you know what either of you wants then
you tend to. (chaos) Yes, absolute chaos :)
Hum,...
and it's really important in terms of
being able to choose the right path, in life.
Hum...
There's lots of people, guys and girls
doing relationships with people they shouldn't be.
Cuz they're not even really sure of what
they want out of a partner.
And so getting your values clear about what,
are you deal breakers ?
What are you not going to put up with ?
Cuz,...
another thing people put up with really awful relationships.
Hum,...
Often because they feel like they don't have any choice.
But if you understand those,
and then you understand what are the elements that you,
are most important in your relationship
Let's say they're the top 3 things that you need to have
to feel satisfied, to feel loved,
to feel appreciated, to feel excited,
in a relationship.
Hum,....and you communicate those
then you're gonna follow the right path.
And the title of your speech was:
" What women want "
So, can you tell me briefly what, what do I want ?
What if, what do women want ?
Well, that...the thing is there.
That brings it up.
I wanted to say, firstly I didn't know
what every woman wants all the time.
Hum,... and it's more of a question for men
to start asking themselves.
Hum,...Because I think
many men just don't think about or don't care.
They're so centered on,
"Ok, what do I want ?
Which is, "I want hot chicks and I want this and that."
The most important thing to understand that is...
If you want to get what you want, then you
have to make sure that those who are
with you, around you get what they want.
And so,
the most important aspect I think is
to understand how to communicate,
to find out what the woman's needs are.
Hum,...
There's something as a generic, or sorry, not generic.
There's general principals.
Things such as being a good leader
and, and one
I'd elaborate by saying a leader
who's worthy, is one who's, those who follow, benefit.
So, every time you want to lead a woman
to do something, whether that's escalating or
go in car with you or have a drink with you,
or whatever.
She needs to feel that's gonna benefit her.
Hum,...
If it's just you trying to robotically lead
or tug her somewhere. And she doesn't enjoy it.
Then, it's not proper leading.
Hum,...
I also looked at the idea of emotional variation
whether a woman likes drama,
in a positive sense of, of feeling like
hum,...
there's expectation, there's uncertainty, there's
excitement leading to pleasurable releases
or resolutions.
And, the other thing,
I guess that a woman really wants, is a man
who is able to stand up to her tests.
Hum,...and
I look at the tests that woman give
as a very positive thing.
Not as, like them being bitchy and just trying to
belittle men. But as something,
where she is trying to see what is his
reactions to things that, uh...he isn't mindful.
Because if she sees that he's not reactive,
in situations which he wasn't planning for,
then he's going to be easy-going, he's gonna
be fun, he's going to be adaptable and all these
things she's gonna enjoy.
Fantastic.
And the other thing was, so,
once you meet a girl, you know that you like her.
You described, ah...effort. And the right sort of effort
and the wrong sort of effort.
Can you tell me what kinda it is the right sort of effort
that you want to put forward ?
Well,...
The, the effort that you put into, hum,...
pursuing a woman
Uh,...
needs to be based on a reality checks.
And,...
And, it's not, it's not men's fault. In the sense that
there's so much incorrect or wasted effort that's being put in.
Let's say the typical one would be.
There's two.
There's on either spectrums. You have,
firstly being arrogant and overbearing and pushy.
Because, there's some schools of thought or
some ideas that man needs to be alpha,
needs to go for what he wants, or whatever.
Which is true, but in temperance to the
response of people around him.
Hum,...
So, if you're constantly trying to push,
and hum,...
be aggressive about what you want,
and you noticed that's not working.
Then you really need to look at the fact that well, if it's not
benefiting her, to, when you try to get what you want.
She's not going to do it.
On the other side, we have this application of
huge amounts of, kind of, passive wimpy
effort that a man will do to be
really nice and pleasant and accommodating.
Hum,...and
always agreeing, being polite and so on
and so to a woman. Thinking that he's kinda
building up these, these credit points, in terms of
certain girls eventually gonna go,
"Wow, he's actually really a great guy. "
Hum,...
She might go, " Wow, he's really a great guy "
But she's not gonna go,
" plus, I want to have sex with him."
She's just gonna go," Cool, there's my friend guy."
Hum, so.
And I, this is such a common thing for
guys I work with. These are men who have
exerted huge amounts of effort in attempting to
create relationships.
And they have.
But they have so shown the person,
demonstrated through their actions,
that what they wanted was, a friendship.
Because they acted like that.
And, and then they're surprised,
when they're trying to switch that over
to being romantic or sexual.
And the girl is like, "Uh, no."
Yeah ?
So, I think it's really important to look at.
Yes, you must apply effort, as
a man to get a woman. Yeah ?
But,...
it needs to be very clear from the,
basically the beginning. That you are
sexually interested in her.
And,..
that you are interested in her desires as well.
You're interested in finding out what is it she wants.
And then you are able to take decisive leadership steps,
where she benefits.
And she follows. As a,...
When you have authority to lead,
towards that.
Because that's gonna save huge amounts of time, because,
if you do it, and she's like, not interested,
you've saved yourself months of
or years of, like, you know, painful wasted effort.
So I hear you are running a tour.
Hmhm.
Through uh, like an adventure tour through Europe.
How would I go about. Or, well, how
would you go about, getting on to that ?
Ok, so, yes. I...
Every summer, European summer
I run two of these tours that are
ten day traveling seduction workshops.
So they are very unique program where we
travel through three of the best countries,
in my opinion, in terms of the most beautiful woman.
Interesting places.
Hum,...and
fantastic places for me to teach guys to learn.
Ah,...
And, so this is primarily an infield workshops
So, it's like every day we are out there, constantly
fine-tuning as well as working
with our female coaches. There's a lot of, you know,
relevant theory to make this a complete transformation.
It's also really a man's initiations.
It's like, not just a bootcamp.
It's a very deep internal-external journey.
Hum,...
The events start running
29th of may to the 10th of june.
And, anyone interested can check out theeurotour.com
and get in contact with me and
I'll call you and talk to you about it.
Fantastic.
So this is Jamie Marshall and
we're here at The 21 Convention.
Bye guys :)
Thank you.