There's no shame in taking care of your mental health

When stress got to be too much for entrepreneur Sangu Delle, he had to confront his own deep prejudice: that men shouldn't take care of their mental health. In a personal talk, Delle shares how he learned to handle anxiety in a society that's uncomfortable with emotions. As he says: "Being honest about how we feel doesn't make us weak -- it makes us human."

Last year ...

was hell.

(Laughter)

It was my first time eating
Nigerian "jollof."

(Laughter)

Actually, in all seriousness,

I was going through a lot
of personal turmoil.

Faced with enormous stress,

I suffered an anxiety attack.

On some days, I could do no work.

On other days,

I just wanted to lay in my bed and cry.

My doctor asked if I'd like to speak
with a mental health professional

about my stress and anxiety.

Mental health?

I clammed up and violently
shook my head in protest.

I felt a profound sense of a shame.

I felt the weight of stigma.

I have a loving, supportive family

and incredibly loyal friends,

yet I could not entertain
the idea of speaking to anyone

about my feeling of pain.

I felt suffocated
by the rigid architecture

of our African masculinity.

"People have real problems, Sangu.

Get over yourself!"

The first time I heard "mental health,"

I was a boarding school student
fresh off the boat from Ghana,

at the Peddie School in New Jersey.

I had just gone through
the brutal experience

of losing seven loved ones
in the same month.

The school nurse,

concerned about what I'd gone
through -- God bless her soul --

she inquired about my mental health.

"Is she mental?" I thought.

Does she not know I'm an African man?

(Laughter)

Like Okonkwo in "Things Fall Apart,"

we African men neither process
nor express our emotions.

We deal with our problems.

(Applause)

We deal with our problems.

I called my brother and laughed
about "Oyibo" people -- white people --

and their strange diseases --

depression, ADD and those "weird things."

Growing up in West Africa,

when people used the term "mental,"
what came to mind was a madman

with dirty, dread-locked hair,

bumbling around half-naked on the streets.

We all know this man.

Our parents warned us about him.

"Mommy, mommy, why is he mad?"

"Drugs!

If you even look at drugs,
you end up like him."

(Laughter)

Come down with pneumonia,

and your mother will rush you
to the nearest hospital

for medical treatment.

But dare to declare depression,

and your local pastor
will be driving out demons

and blaming witches in your village.

According to the World
Health Organization,

mental health is about being able to cope

with the normal stressors of life;

to work productively and fruitfully;

and to be able to make
a contribution to your community.

Mental health includes our emotional,
psychological and social well-being.

Globally, 75 percent
of all mental illness cases

can be found in low-income countries.

Yet most African governments

invest less than one percent
of their health care budget

in mental health.

Even worse,

we have a severe shortage
of psychiatrists in Africa.

Nigeria, for example,
is estimated to have 200 --

in a country of almost 200 million.

In all of Africa,

90 percent of our people
lack access to treatment.

As a result,

we suffer in solitude,

silenced by stigma.

We as Africans often respond
to mental health with distance,

ignorance,

guilt,

fear

and anger.

In a study conducted by Arboleda-Flórez,

directly asking, "What is the cause
of mental illness?"

34 percent of Nigerian respondents
cited drug misuse;

19 percent said divine wrath
and the will of God --

(Laughter)

12 percent,

witchcraft and spiritual possession.

But few cited other known
causes of mental illness,

like genetics,

socioeconomic status,

war,

conflict

or the loss of a loved one.

The stigmatization against mental illness

often results in the ostracizing
and demonizing of sufferers.

Photojournalist Robin Hammond
has documented some of these abuses ...

in Uganda,

in Somalia,

and here in Nigeria.

For me,

the stigma is personal.

In 2009,

I received a frantic call
in the middle of the night.

My best friend in the world --

a brilliant, philosophical,
charming, hip young man --

was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

I witnessed some of the friends
we'd grown up with recoil.

I heard the snickers.

I heard the whispers.

"Did you hear he has gone mad?"

(Kru English) "He has gone crazy!"

Derogatory, demeaning commentary
about his condition --

words we would never say
about someone with cancer

or someone with malaria.

Somehow, when it comes to mental illness,

our ignorance eviscerates all empathy.

I stood by his side
as his community isolated him,

but our love never wavered.

Tacitly, I became passionate
about mental health.

Inspired by his plight,

I helped found the mental health
special interest alumni group

at my college.

And during my tenure as a resident
tutor in graduate school,

I supported many undergraduates
with their mental health challenges.

I saw African students struggle

and unable to speak to anyone.

Even with this knowledge
and with their stories in tow,

I, in turn, struggled,

and could not speak to anyone
when I faced my own anxiety,

so deep is our fear of being the madman.

All of us --

but we Africans especially --

need to realize that our mental struggles
do not detract from our virility,

nor does our trauma taint our strength.

We need to see mental health
as important as physical health.

We need to stop suffering in silence.

We must stop stigmatizing disease

and traumatizing the afflicted.

Talk to your friends.

Talk to your loved ones.

Talk to health professionals.

Be vulnerable.

Do so with the confidence

that you are not alone.

Speak up if you're struggling.

Being honest about how we feel

does not make us weak;

it makes us human.

It is time to end the stigma
associated with mental illness.

So the next time your hear "mental,"

do not just think of the madman.

Think of me.

(Applause)

Thank you.

(Applause)