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I'm never bored when I'm with you
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We're pals, we're buddies
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through and through
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I wish I knew what to buy for you
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On your birthday
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Our friendship goes against the grain
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I've seen you swell up in the rain
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I saw you - didn't see your pain
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Was it termites?
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It's never hard to talk to you
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Though you stump me with your silence
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I feel so naughty pining here
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For your happy face's guidance
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My best friend Plank
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My best friend Plank
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My best friend Plank
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Sitting there so silently
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What could you be thinking?
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You're not saying; I won't axe
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Is that sealant that you're drinking?
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Man, you're hammered! Nailed you, pal
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Al Gore's wife's name is Tipper
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I knew we'd be best friends for life
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When I saved you from that chipper
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My best friend Plank
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My best friend Plank
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My best friend Plank
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Ooo, Plank
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Count the rings, count the rings
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Ooo, Plank
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Count the rings
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I'd walk you on the seven seas
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But sawdust always makes me wheeze
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I met your mom and dad the trees
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But please don't get Dutch Elm Disease
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My best friend Plank
-
My best friend Plank
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My best friend Plank
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You're my best friend, Plank