-
Not Synced
(Applauses)
-
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So, I asked to turn up the light
so that I can see you as well.
-
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We are talking about
relationships after all.
-
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And the most important thing
in a relationship, man
-
Not Synced
is to see your wife.
-
Not Synced
You can see who is married
in a restaurant,
-
Not Synced
or who is dating.
-
Not Synced
If a man is dating a woman
he's looking right at her.
-
Not Synced
He's got one goal.
-
Not Synced
(Laugher)
-
Not Synced
And once he's climbed
that mountain you can relax.
-
Not Synced
You see the married man
looking around.
-
Not Synced
Quite often somebody else got
his attention.
-
Not Synced
Haven't seen her before.
-
Not Synced
It doesn't mean
he doesn't love her
-
Not Synced
his wife.
-
Not Synced
It just mean he's never
saw that before.
-
Not Synced
We all do this as we are going
to vacations
-
Not Synced
to lovely spots, new places
-
Not Synced
getting off the plain here in Bend
it was blown away
-
Not Synced
by the beautifull mountain.
-
Not Synced
It's exiting.
-
Not Synced
Because someone new and different
-
Not Synced
it stimulates our brain chemical
called dopamine.
-
Not Synced
And dopamine gives us motivation,
it gives us pleasure
-
Not Synced
it gives us focus.
-
Not Synced
And it gives us, happiness in a
relationship, passion.
-
Not Synced
When we fall in love with somebody
-
Not Synced
is literally like we are high
on drugs.
-
Not Synced
Maybe you don't remember
-
Not Synced
if you've been married for
28 years like I have,
-
Not Synced
but, I remided living
with my youngest daughter
-
Not Synced
who is in that first
"falling in love stage"
-
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with her "live in".
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
They're planning! They're planning!
-
Not Synced
But she is a modern woman,
-
Not Synced
she wants to be completely financial
self-sufficient
-
Not Synced
before she gets married.
-
Not Synced
As the new woman!
-
Not Synced
She wants to be sufficient.
-
Not Synced
Yes! Yes! We all wanna be
self sufficient.
-
Not Synced
We all wanna be independent,
and then from place of wholeness
-
Not Synced
come together.
-
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It's a new world.
-
Not Synced
And I'm gonna talk
about that new world today.
-
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The most important thing
to understand is
-
Not Synced
this brain chemical thing
dopamine.
-
Not Synced
'Cause when you haven't met someone,
before you are getting to know them
-
Not Synced
all the ingredients are there
to stimulate dopamine.
-
Not Synced
Newness.
-
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And there's no history.
-
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Where are we going with this?
-
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What's gonna happen?
-
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And that stimulates this
brain chemical
-
Not Synced
and in man, dopamine stimulates
a hormone calls testosterone.
-
Not Synced
So, men testosterone
levels are searching.
-
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The average man in 50
have half testoterone levels he had
-
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as a young man.
-
Not Synced
It starts to drop.
-
Not Synced
Lot of things contribute to that,
but one of the things is: marriage.
-
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(Laughter)
-
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You know, I'm 62 but
I went to the 50's with my friends
-
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and several of my friends got divorce
-
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and the came alive!
-
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I'm not recomending divorce
to come alive.
-
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(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
But I am recomending learning
new relationships skills
-
Not Synced
to come alive in
your marriage.
-
Not Synced
But it's like, when you
were somebody new
-
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just going to somewhere new,
being with somebody new
-
Not Synced
it stimulates dopamine,
-
Not Synced
and for men dopamine
stimulates testosterone.
-
Not Synced
And for men, testosterone
lowers stress.
-
Not Synced
I don't mean stress in your life,
life is always stressful.
-
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Problems are everywhere.
-
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But how do we react to life
is depending
-
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on our hormone
respondes to life.
-
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And for men, testosterone
is the hormone
-
Not Synced
that helps men keeps
their stress levels down.
-
Not Synced
Most people don't know this
but, I learned this...
-
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30 years ago I was reading...
-
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20 years ago, maybe 30
something in there
-
Not Synced
I was about to see the movie
"The Grumpty Old Man"
-
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and I was also reading
the differences
-
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between young man and old man
-
Not Synced
was that men testosterone level
go down.
-
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And then, I made the link.
-
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Gumpty Old Man.
-
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Think about men when
they haven't been laid for a while.
-
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They get grumpty.
-
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And we always thought
that testosterone caused
-
Not Synced
all that irrability.
-
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But actually for men, it's estrogen.
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
It's all those grumpty
old man
-
Not Synced
have super high
estrogen levels
-
Not Synced
and low testosterone.
-
Not Synced
Who knew?!
-
Not Synced
One of the biggest
risk factors for heart disease,
-
Not Synced
prostate cancer for men
is low testosterone.
-
Not Synced
All men, with depression
have low testosterone.
-
Not Synced
And that's why depression
is very different
-
Not Synced
from man than
from woman.
-
Not Synced
Depression for a man
is that feeling
-
Not Synced
"nobody wants me",
"I am not needed anymore",
-
Not Synced
"basically, I'm out of work",
-
Not Synced
"nobody there to respond for me"
-
Not Synced
"nobody there for me to fix,
-
Not Synced
help, serve, support".
-
Not Synced
So, been out of work
is the major depression for man
-
Not Synced
or being in a marriage
where you feel you can't
-
Not Synced
do anything to make
your partner happy.
-
Not Synced
I get to see it as a marriage
counselor for over 30 years
-
Not Synced
people often on their last exit.
-
Not Synced
'Cause I am famous people say:
-
Not Synced
"Oh, you gotta see him"
-
Not Synced
so I get the tough cases.
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
But it's a challenge.
-
Not Synced
And what I hear again and again
for man.
-
Not Synced
I take the man outside,
-
Not Synced
"What is the problem here?,
what's going on here?,
-
Not Synced
If we can fix one problem,
what would that be?"
-
Not Synced
"John, the only problem here is
my wife is not happy".
-
Not Synced
That's it.
-
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Now, I do these seminars, workshops
for like 4 days
-
Not Synced
and we started out
men in one room, women in the other.
-
Not Synced
Without my influence, the men
write down complaints about
-
Not Synced
their wifes, relationships, women
in one room.
-
Not Synced
Women do it in another room.
-
Not Synced
And then we spend the whole 4 days
working on that.
-
Not Synced
And men have one sheet,
and women have 5.
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
And men's list is one or two words.
-
Not Synced
"Critical, complaints, nags, punishes,
not interested in sex"
-
Not Synced
that's the longest one they
come out with.
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
There's a list over there.
-
Not Synced
And women got all this lists,
get a big long list
-
Not Synced
everything is a long sentences,
and if this thing and all that stuff.
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
And men go
"See?"
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
I got a few claps which
I'm not asking for
-
Not Synced
but that's what excites man.
-
Not Synced
I made a difference.
-
Not Synced
So men love their dogs so much.
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
When I come home,
my dog is happy and I'm alive!
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
It touches something so deep
inside of every man
-
Not Synced
That the whole evolution of men
where like out there
-
Not Synced
in the dangerous world.
-
Not Synced
If you came home alive, they
celebrate it.
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
Now it's like
"Oh, he's back".
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
"You know, you left the lights
on the living room last night
-
Not Synced
before you left"
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
That's what I get!
-
Not Synced
If she was just happy...
-
Not Synced
What a man thinks
-
Not Synced
"If she was just the way she was
when I married her".
-
Not Synced
See, when man get married
they stay the same,
-
Not Synced
as If you can.
-
Not Synced
And realize women would never
be the same.
-
Not Synced
They are like the weather.
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
It's always changing!
-
Not Synced
Sunshine, blue clouds, puffy clouds
-
Not Synced
blue sky, puffy clouds.
-
Not Synced
Rain storms, lightning strikes,
hurracains.
-
Not Synced
Tornadoes!
-
Not Synced
Now If you are from Mars
-
Not Synced
you have this instincts that
you are the worst thing
-
Not Synced
when you were with the Venusian.
-
Not Synced
See, in Mars when there's tornadoes,
what do we do?
-
Not Synced
We find a ditch and lay low.
-
Not Synced
It's not what women expect
you to do.
-
Not Synced
When that tornadoe comes in
you are supposed to stand in there.
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
"Is something the matter?"
-
Not Synced
(Laughter)
-
Not Synced
And If you read it in my books
-
Not Synced
when every cell in your body says
-
Not Synced
"I can't take it anymore"
-
Not Synced
"I gotta find a ditch and lay low"
-
Not Synced
"Let me get my car and drive
somewhere"
-
Not Synced
Instead, you stand there,
just keep looking.
-
Not Synced
And when there's
a break you say:
-
Not Synced
"Huh. Tell me more".
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
She is like
"I am married to Superman!"
-
Not Synced
If you can do that
-
Not Synced
and I teach people
how to do that
-
Not Synced
you have to, at least,
know what you are trying to do here.
-
Not Synced
'Cause many have been married
that say:
-
Not Synced
"No matter what I say or do
it makes it worst".
-
Not Synced
And I say
"that's because what you say
-
Not Synced
and do is wrong".
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
It just doesn't work!
-
Not Synced
You've just told me it
doesn't work,
-
Not Synced
it doesn't work!
-
Not Synced
But, what does work?
-
Not Synced
Nothing.
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
Nothing!
-
Not Synced
You can not make
a woman happy!
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
You can not change the weather.
-
Not Synced
It changes by itself.
-
Not Synced
Women are grown ups
-
Not Synced
they can feel better.
-
Not Synced
They can get happier
-
Not Synced
they know how to do it.
-
Not Synced
Just they way of doing it
-
Not Synced
is different from ours.
-
Not Synced
All I have to do when I am stress
is sit down.
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
Man have a switch right here.
-
Not Synced
As soon as you sit down
(laughs)
-
Not Synced
blood flows stops to your brain.
-
Not Synced
(laughs)
-
Not Synced
They did some experiments on that.
-
Not Synced
They put women at the end of the day
sit down
-
Not Synced
and men on the way
sitting down.
-
Not Synced
And they measure the brain activity.
-
Not Synced
Women sit down,
their brain speed up.
-
Not Synced
More blood flow.
-
Not Synced
And you say: "What are
you thinking?"
-
Not Synced
and she says, which any woman
in this room can predict
-
Not Synced
"Well, sitting on this couch I'm
thinking of all the things
-
Not Synced
I should be doing, that I am not doing
while I am doing this silly experiment".
-
Not Synced
And then, they do the man
-
Not Synced
and the man sitting there
-
Not Synced
you look at the scans
nothing is happening!
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
Is it broken?
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
What is this?!
-
Not Synced
And she is like
"What?!"
-
Not Synced
So you ask him:
"What are you thinking?"
-
Not Synced
And you now all know that
answer to that question
-
Not Synced
if you've been married!
-
Not Synced
He says: "Nothing!"
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
And now he has evidence.
-
Not Synced
"See, honey?,
-
Not Synced
I'm not whithholding from you!"
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
"I don't have big secrets,
I'm not hiding my problems from you
-
Not Synced
I'm trying to forget them!
-
Not Synced
Why do we have to talk about them?!"
-
Not Synced
'Cause one of the primary ways
man cope with stress
-
Not Synced
and remember, what the hormone
that lower stress for men?
-
Not Synced
Testosterone.
-
Not Synced
So what's the hormone
that lowers stress for men
-
Not Synced
is testosterone.
-
Not Synced
If, I got all this problems in my life
and I am solving them
-
Not Synced
I am releasing testosterone.
-
Not Synced
And it is keeping my
stress levels down.
-
Not Synced
At the end of the day,
I still have all this
-
Not Synced
unmet problems, right?
-
Not Synced
All this problems I haven't solved
-
Not Synced
so know that I'm not solving problems
my stress levels goes up!
-
Not Synced
I can't do anything about it
-
Not Synced
I'm home, I can't do anything
about it.
-
Not Synced
So stress goes up.
-
Not Synced
So how have men adapted
to deal with problems
-
Not Synced
you can't do anything about
once you are sitting.
-
Not Synced
Forget it!
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
We can turn our brains off!
-
Not Synced
We have an off switch.
-
Not Synced
Women don't.
-
Not Synced
They can not forget anything!
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
Here is a simple test in
"Gender intelligence"
-
Not Synced
Who has a bigger, better memory?
-
Not Synced
Women or men?
-
Not Synced
Women!
-
Not Synced
This is proven!
-
Not Synced
The hippocampus in a
woman's brain
-
Not Synced
is twice as big as in a man's brain.
-
Not Synced
The second store is like a library
-
Not Synced
recording everything on
the first floor.
-
Not Synced
On the second floor she records
every mistake
-
Not Synced
you've ever made.
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
And something she can't do
much about it
-
Not Synced
is when she is stress,
-
Not Synced
when she is stress
-
Not Synced
blood flow goes to
that second floor.
-
Not Synced
Elevator, she goes up
-
Not Synced
she forgets every good thing
you've ever done
-
Not Synced
and remembers every mistake
you've made!
-
Not Synced
And how does she gets
off that floor?
-
Not Synced
She's gotta lower her stress.
-
Not Synced
She can not forget it!
-
Not Synced
So what does she do?
-
Not Synced
What's the woman reaction?
-
Not Synced
Just measure the brain!
-
Not Synced
There's wonderful
brain studies now!
-
Not Synced
Under moderate stress
-
Not Synced
women's brains have
8 times more blood flow
-
Not Synced
to the emotional part of the brain
-
Not Synced
which then goes to the
hippocampus.
-
Not Synced
She's bombardment
with memories!
-
Not Synced
For men, he forgets everything.
-
Not Synced
So, I'm not saying that
women are more emotional
-
Not Synced
than man.
-
Not Synced
I'm saying that,
under moderate stress
-
Not Synced
woman have a stronger
emotional reaction.
-
Not Synced
Under big stress, men have
a stronger emotional reaction.
-
Not Synced
And what's big stress for man?
-
Not Synced
A problem you can't solve
and can't forget.
-
Not Synced
And that's big stress for man.
-
Not Synced
A problem you can't solve
-
Not Synced
and you can't forget.
-
Not Synced
No matter how much
football games you are watching
-
Not Synced
not matter how much news
you are watching,
-
Not Synced
not much how many pressing
weights in the gym you are doing
-
Not Synced
you can't forget that problems.
-
Not Synced
So now your stress levels
are shooting up.
-
Not Synced
So, for man.
That's a big problem!
-
Not Synced
So, historically,
evolutionary wise
-
Not Synced
lions, tigers, bears
-
Not Synced
lions, tigers, bears, men
have a big reaction!
-
Not Synced
And by the way biologically
what's happening?
-
Not Synced
When soon as the man feels
powerless
-
Not Synced
his testosterone converts
the estrogen and floods
-
Not Synced
his brain with fear and anger.
-
Not Synced
It's when go to the female hormones
-
Not Synced
they loose control of their
masculine hormones
-
Not Synced
their testosterone levels drop.
-
Not Synced
Literally, testosterone converts
intro estrogen through
-
Not Synced
an enzyme called aromatase.
-
Not Synced
So, If I... I'm a man!
-
Not Synced
Testosterone driven. Every man
has to have 30
-
Not Synced
times more testosterone
than your average woman
-
Not Synced
to get up on stage to
do anything!
-
Not Synced
Without that he's that guy:
-
Not Synced
"Ugh, I don't wanna work anymore
-
Not Synced
I just wanna go play, watch TV
and do nothing".
-
Not Synced
Every loser I have ever
counseled I say:
-
Not Synced
"Why did you do that?"
"I felt like it"
-
Not Synced
"Why don't you do this?"
"I don't feel like it"
-
Not Synced
What we do want feelings
-
Not Synced
it's a wonderful evolutionary
lift.
-
Not Synced
Man have to always reason
first and then
-
Not Synced
checked it out with your feelings.
-
Not Synced
Why do I say that?
-
Not Synced
'Cause I counsel losers
a lot!
-
Not Synced
And they follow their feelings
instead of things,
-
Not Synced
"But does that makes sense"?
"I don't care"
-
Not Synced
You gotta start caring if
you are a man about
-
Not Synced
what makes sense and
then check it out
-
Not Synced
with your feelings.
-
Not Synced
And for woman,
you gotta check out
-
Not Synced
what is my feeling first
which will access into your intuition
-
Not Synced
and then what makes sense.
-
Not Synced
We are complements
to each other.
-
Not Synced
And we see the wiring in
the brain is the same.
-
Not Synced
The intuitive center over here,
-
Not Synced
the emotional center
over here
-
Not Synced
called the right interior
parietal lobe in a woman
-
Not Synced
which has to do with
personal relationships.
-
Not Synced
Has to do with:
"What are you eating today?"
-
Not Synced
"What should we have
for food today?"
-
Not Synced
"What should I wear?"
-
Not Synced
"Look what she is wearing"
-
Not Synced
"What do our children need?"
-
Not Synced
"What do the people need?"
-
Not Synced
"What does the earth need?"
-
Not Synced
"What does our family need?"
-
Not Synced
"How can I improve
this relationship?"
-
Not Synced
That's all relational activities.
-
Not Synced
I discovered that on vacation with
my 3 daughters and
-
Not Synced
my wife in Hawaii.
-
Not Synced
As we're sitting round
with nothing to do
-
Not Synced
I listened to their conversations
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
"What we are gonna eat?"
-
Not Synced
"Where we are gonna eat?"
-
Not Synced
"What we gotta wear?"
-
Not Synced
"What do you wear, can
I wear that?"
-
Not Synced
Not there when they are limited
to that at all,
-
Not Synced
but when they are relaxing.
-
Not Synced
See? That's what I am
talking about!
-
Not Synced
This is how women relax.
-
Not Synced
They go to the right part
of the brain,
-
Not Synced
that stimulates estrogen
-
Not Synced
it also stimulates a magic
hormone
-
Not Synced
that most people are not
aware of
-
Not Synced
called: oxytocin.
-
Not Synced
Oxytocin is the hormone
that lower stress in women.
-
Not Synced
This was an amazing discovery!
-
Not Synced
What that... 12 years ago
they start finding this out.
-
Not Synced
Just to brag a moment
because I am from Mars.
-
Not Synced
Talking about 30 years ago.
-
Not Synced
I discovered it.
-
Not Synced
When I read an article about
oxytocin women produce
-
Not Synced
when they see babys.
-
Not Synced
You now, back in the day
-
Not Synced
when you are learning how to
being their bonding with
-
Not Synced
your children at birth.
-
Not Synced
Huge amounts of oxytocin
comes up, and you bond.
-
Not Synced
Well, then I went in this mall
just watching women,
-
Not Synced
watchin men, I used to sit
there and just watch.
-
Not Synced
There was a chair.
-
Not Synced
And in those days, when women
had a lot more oxytocin
-
Not Synced
than they have now.
-
Not Synced
And those days a woman
carrying a baby along
-
Not Synced
like this, women would
gather, "Oh!"
-
Not Synced
The same response my wife
would make
-
Not Synced
when I bought her a rose.
-
Not Synced
And when I put my arm around her
-
Not Synced
and we saw something sweet
in a movie
-
Not Synced
and I realize "Ah, this is
what makes women smile".
-
Not Synced
Now we have the science
behind it.
-
Not Synced
Oxytocin lowers stress
for women.
-
Not Synced
Then we found out
oxytocin allows women
-
Not Synced
to have climax in
the bedroom.
-
Not Synced
That perks up
man's ears.
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
There is a pill,
oxytocin pill
-
Not Synced
synthetic oxytocin.
-
Not Synced
You give it to her, she'll
be really turned on
-
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and it's been proven,
-
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next stage she
shoots you.
-
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(Laughs)
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'Cause drugs takes you up
and then bring you down.
-
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(Laughs)
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So, by understanding this
two dynamics
-
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we are living in a world today
where there's lot of stress.
-
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And what we wanna do is
-
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have equality, mutual respect
mutual appresiation
-
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but we are facing a new challenge
-
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as women are more in
the workplace
-
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feeling more independent
testosterone gets produce
-
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there's nothing wrong with
testosterone
-
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in a woman's body.
-
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Some women are just born with more,
-
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so they are over here saying:
"John, what are you talking about?
-
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I don't care what I wear".
-
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But most women have,
90% of women have this
-
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low testosterone high estrogen
-
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and oxytocin is the hormone
in all women
-
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that lowers cortisol for them.
-
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Cortisol, the stress hormone.
-
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Well, If you give a man
an inyection oxytocin
-
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he goes to sleep.
-
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Because after climax, he's
wel...
-
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(Laughs)
-
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After he has climax
has released oxytocin
-
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what does he do? He goes
right to sleep.
-
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So the bottom line is anything that
oxytocin producing
-
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after you've done it 3 or 4
times, kinda puts
-
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a man to sleep.
-
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Which puts a real damper on relationships
-
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unless men figures out that
-
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If I do oxytocin things, for my wife
-
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I'm not just doing oxytocin
producing things for her
-
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I am solving a problem.
-
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And when I solve a problem
testosterone levels go up.
-
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So my wife is talking,
I am in the storm
-
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I say, "Tell me more"
-
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my testosterone stage is up
'cause I know how
-
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to make it work.
-
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And I know what I am doing is
-
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helping her create more oxytocin.
-
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Planning dates, bringing flowers
giving cards
-
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all the "samples" of valentines days
-
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you do regularly on a little score.
-
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Just a little bit.
-
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She's always looking ahead.
So, special time.
-
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That causes her oxytocin levels
to rise up
-
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to lowe her stress.
-
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So that, her stress levels don't
shoot up.
-
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'Cause right now woman stress
levels by study
-
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is on average as twice as high
as men's
-
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and for time higher at home.
-
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It's shocking,
it's shocking.
-
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And what we can do
is realize our relationships
-
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can help us to lower
-
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the stress level in women
by learning new skills
-
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learning new skills to
-
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creae oxytocin in her.
-
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Better communication
see her, hear her.
-
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Notice when she gets
her hair cut.
-
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Those little things.
-
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So I'm gonna finish here
-
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with the little things that
are so important.
-
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Men's testosterone
is so important
-
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I've never given
such a short talk in my life.
-
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But I'll finis with
3 take aways,
-
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simple easy take aways.
-
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I didn't do my slideshow-
-
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The...
(laughs)
-
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It was going to be:
"Staying focus in a hipper world"
-
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But...
(laughs)
-
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(Applauses)
-
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But as soon as somebody laugh
they brought out the best of me
-
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So you got the
best of me,
-
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and you've been
the best.
-
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And I want you to
give you 3 thoughts
-
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to go away with.
-
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For man,
there's someting man made.
-
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Man need formulas,
we need systems.
-
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The left brain,
by the way,
-
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for men, left interior
parieal lobe
-
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is twice as big
for women.
-
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That's solving problem
fixing the toaster
-
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arranging the computer,
technical things.
-
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When you are fixing things,
that stimulates testosterone.
-
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Solving problem,
nuturing things.
-
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That you all
have a combination of
-
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men and female
in all of us.
-
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But here is how you
nuture the female hormones,
-
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the male hormones.
-
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A secret most men
don't know.
-
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Yo can bring her two
dozen roses
-
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and a man brain
he calculates on the left brain
-
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"That's 24 roses,
that should be 24 points".
-
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(Laughs)
-
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If roses cause oxytocin
-
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that should be
a huge surge.
-
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It's 1 point of oxytocin.
-
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So we have to know.
-
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If you bring one rose,
guess what happens?
-
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1 point of oxytocin.
-
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6 roses,
guess what she get?
-
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1 point of oxytocin.
-
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Hunded roses?
Maybe 2 points of oxytocin.
-
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Little things make
a big difference for women.
-
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So it's not the big stuff,
the big stuff's fine.
-
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You go to work,
you do better and better work
-
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you think
"Ok, I never have to bring roses again!"
-
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To go to work
you get 1 point.
-
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You come home
you get 1 point.
-
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Yo are married
1 point for that!
-
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That's it,
3 points a day!
-
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(Laughs)
-
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And she is doing
the same thing
-
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so the score is even
when you get home.
-
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And she made you dinner
and there's candle lights burning
-
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Oh my God,
you are in a big trouble!
-
Not Synced
'Cause she gets a point
for matching napkins with plates.
-
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If she says:
"I made your favourite meal"
-
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you are in a big trouble!
-
Not Synced
'Cause she gets herself
all this points
-
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for knowing what you like.
-
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Going to the store and
buying what you like.
-
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Not what she likes,
but what you like.
-
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All of those selfless
sacrifices.
-
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She's given herself points,
she looks at you
-
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33 to 3.
-
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(Laughs)
-
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She's going:
"Who is this guy?!"
-
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"He's a zero!"
-
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33 minus 3 is
30 to zero.
-
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So...
-
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So do lots
of little things.
-
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Hughs 4 times a day.
-
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Affecion.
-
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Compliments.
-
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Try to notice things.
-
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Plane dates.
-
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This are all
big oxytocin producers.
-
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I've read 17 books
on this subject.
-
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Now, for man.
-
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What can you do
to keep this testosterone
-
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levels up, women?
-
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You want that man alive,
dynamic!
-
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Here's 3 little things.
-
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Rembemer the little things.
-
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The little things sometimes
have a big effect on men too.
-
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When he is talking,
he pauses
-
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find authenticity inside.
-
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Here is 3 phrases to use
every day.
-
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And you'll watch his chest
pop up like
-
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"Yes".
-
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You say to him
as he pauses
-
Not Synced
"That makes sense",
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
You know?
-
Not Synced
He's walking around like
(Applauses)
-
Not Synced
And is his mind
he is thinking
-
Not Synced
"Why did I say?"
-
Not Synced
(Laughs)
-
Not Synced
The next phrase:
"Good idea"
-
Not Synced
I think I'm ready for
my next Ted Talk!
-
Not Synced
He's going
good idea,
-
Not Synced
worth share it
with others, right?
-
Not Synced
And then the magic phrase
that every men
-
Not Synced
craves to hear
once he gets married
-
Not Synced
Oh my god,
it's such a deficit for us.
-
Not Synced
Whenever you can say it,
say it women.
-
Not Synced
Don't hold it back
-
Not Synced
you don't realise
how important it is.
-
Not Synced
Just with a big smile
on your face, say:
-
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"You are right!".
-
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(Laughs)
-
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Thank you all
so very much.
-
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I hope this is
an idea worth sharing.
-
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Thank you!
-
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(Applauses)
-
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Thank you very much
(Applauses)
-
Not Synced
Thank you
-
Not Synced
(Laugh and applauses)
Denise RQ
Hello,
There is also something funny happening to this task.
This appears to be assigned to Queenie Lee http://www.amara.org/en/profiles/profile/queenie_lee/
But it's also assigned at the same time (?) to an Amara Support rep? http://www.amara.org/en/profiles/profile/Vrieann/
Retired user
It's another talk outside the TED team I asked to added.
It had been transcribed and translated by someone else on Amara.
Now, back to TED. I can nail it.
Retired user
I still think something wrong with this talk.
It was reviewed and here shows "needs approval".
But it shows published on TED profile,
and it looks so weird on Youtube at timestamp 00:00
also, with English available, but no CC subtitles in playing.
File the ticket to Amara on 17/7, but no reply.
Report to TED on 26/7, waiting.