-
(campy disco music)
-
(audience cheers wildly)
-
- Everybody's talkin' 'bout my tight pants
-
I got my tight pants
-
I got my tight pants on
-
Everybody's lookin' at my tight pants
-
I got my tight pants
-
I got my tight pants on
-
(catcalling from audience)
-
(audience cheers wildly)
-
- Everybody's talkin' 'bout our tight pants
-
We've got our tight pants
-
We've got our tight pants on
-
We're the only couple wearing tight pants
-
We got our tight pants
-
We got our tight pants on
-
- (both) We can dance over here
-
We can dance over there
-
We can walk down the street
-
And everybody stares at our tight pants
-
We're the only ones
-
(audience cheers wildly)
-
- Everyone in town loves my tight pants
-
I've got my tight pants
-
I've got my tight pants on
-
No one else around me's wearing tight pants
-
I got my tight pants
-
I've got my tight pants on
-
- Whoa!
-
Slow down there, compadre.
-
(audience laughs)
-
You say people are talkin'
about your tight pants
-
down at the local penny arcade?
-
Well, I find that hard to believe
-
because ever since we moved to this town,
-
everyone we know has been
talkin' about our tight pants.
-
- Well, that's funny because yesterday
I ran into Mayor Wembly,
-
and he declared my pants
the tightest in all the land!
-
(audience laughs)
-
- Well, we've just welcomed
our brand new baby boy.
-
- And when we told the news
to Governor Grimble,
-
he proclaimed, "Hark!
-
'Tis the true heir
to the tight pants throne."
-
(audience hoots)
-
- A new baby, you said?
-
Well, ain't that a bag of beans?
-
Especially since you and I haven't spoken
-
since that one magical night we shared
together nine months ago.
-
- (audience) Whoa!
-
- (aggressively) Now you listen to me,
You fat-faced cob nobbler!
-
I don't know who you are...
-
or what butt hole you crawled out of...
-
but this is my woman,
and that is our baby.
-
And every night he gets swaddled
in the tightest of pants!
-
We're the only ones that get
to wear tight pants in this town.
-
You drinkin' my sake, Kemosabe?
-
(audience laughs)
-
- Don't mess with the lioness!
-
(vocalizing Lion King theme song)
- (fierce growling)
-
- You sippin' my soup-ay, Guadalupe?
-
(audience laughs)
-
- Point taken, Kevin Bacon.
-
I guess I'll find a new town.
-
(drums start up)
-
(campy disco music)
-
- (both) Everybody's talkin'
'bout our tight pants
-
We got our tight pants
-
We got our tight pants on.
-
(sparkle glimmers)
(audience cheers wildly)
-
(campy disco music)
