(campy disco music)
(audience cheers wildly)
- Everybody's talkin' 'bout my tight pants
I got my tight pants
I got my tight pants on
Everybody's lookin' at my tight pants
I got my tight pants
I got my tight pants on
(catcalling from audience)
(audience cheers wildly)
- Everybody's talkin' 'bout our tight pants
We've got our tight pants
We've got our tight pants on
We're the only couple wearing tight pants
We got our tight pants
We got our tight pants on
- (both) We can dance over here
We can dance over there
We can walk down the street
And everybody stares at our tight pants
We're the only ones
(audience cheers wildly)
- Everyone in town loves my tight pants
I've got my tight pants
I've got my tight pants on
No one else around me's wearing tight pants
I got my tight pants
I've got my tight pants on
- Whoa!
Slow down there, compadre.
(audience laughs)
You say people are talkin' about your tight pants
down at the local penny arcade?
Well, I find that hard to believe
because ever since we moved to this town,
everyone we know has been talkin' about our tight pants.
- Well, that's funny because yesterday I ran into Mayor Wembly,
and he declared my pants the tightest in all the land!
(audience laughs)
- Well, we've just welcomed our brand new baby boy.
- And when we told the news to Governor Grimble,
he proclaimed, "Hark!
'Tis the true heir to the tight pants throne."
(audience hoots)
- A new baby, you said?
Well, ain't that a bag of beans?
Especially since you and I haven't spoken
since that one magical night we shared together nine months ago.
- (audience) Whoa!
- (aggressively) Now you listen to me, You fat-faced cob nobbler!
I don't know who you are...
or what butt hole you crawled out of...
but this is my woman, and that is our baby.
And every night he gets swaddled in the tightest of pants!
We're the only ones that get to wear tight pants in this town.
You drinkin' my sake, Kemosabe?
(audience laughs)
- Don't mess with the lioness!
(vocalizing Lion King theme song) - (fierce growling)
- You sippin' my soup-ay, Guadalupe?
(audience laughs)
- Point taken, Kevin Bacon.
I guess I'll find a new town.
(drums start up)
(campy disco music)
- (both) Everybody's talkin' 'bout our tight pants
We got our tight pants
We got our tight pants on.
(sparkle glimmers) (audience cheers wildly)
(campy disco music)