-
>> As the 21st century began, human
evolution was at a turning point.
-
Natural selection -- the process by which the
strongest, the smartest, the fastest reproduced
-
in greater numbers than the rest, a process
which had once favored the noblest traits
-
of man -- now began to favor different traits.
-
Most science fiction of the
day predicted a future
-
that was more civilized and more intelligent.
-
But, as time went on, things
seemed to be heading
-
in the opposite direction: a dumbing down.
-
How did this happen?
-
Evolution does not necessarily
reward intelligence.
-
With no natural predators to thin the
herd, it began to simply reward those
-
who reproduced the most and left the
intelligent to become an endangered species.
-
>> Having kids is such an important decision.
-
>> We're just waiting for the right time.
-
It's not something you want
to rush into, obviously.
-
>> No way.
-
>> Oh, shit, I'm pregnant again.
-
>> Shit! I got too many damn kids!
-
Thought you was on the pill or some shit.
-
>> Hell, no.
-
>> Shit!
-
I must've been thinking of Brittany..
-
>> Brittany?
-
No, you didn't!
-
>> There's no way we could have a child now.
-
Not with the market the way it is, no.
-
>> That just wouldn't make any sense.
-
>> Come on over here, bitch.
-
He don't care about you.
-
>> Yeah? Well, there must be
something he likes over here.
-
>> She don't mean nothing to me, baby.
-
>> Clevon!
-
>> Oh, shit.
-
It wasn't me!
-
It wasn't me!
-
>> Well, we finally decided to have children,
-
and I'm not pointing fingers,
but it's not going well.
-
>> And this is helping.
-
>> I'm just saying that before I have in
vitro, maybe you should be willing to --
-
>> It's always me, right?
-
>> Well, it's not my sperm count.
-
>> Yeah! Yeah!
-
I'm going to fuck all of y'all.
-
>> That's my boy!
-
>> Clevon is lucky to be alive.
-
He attempted to jump a Jet Ski
from a lake into a swimming pool
-
and impaled his crotch on an iron gate.
-
But thanks to recent advances in stem cell
research and the fine work of Doctors Krinski
-
and Altschuler, Clevon should
regain full reproductive function.
-
>> Get your hands off my junk!
-
>> Unfortunately, Trevor passed away
from a heart attack while masturbating
-
to produce sperm for artificial insemination.
-
But I have some eggs frozen, so just as soon
as the right guy comes along, you know --
-
>> And so it went for generations,
although few, if any, seemed to notice.
-
>> At the dawn of the 21st century,
the Army began a top-secret experiment.
-
>> Meet Joe Bauers, our first subject
for the Human Hibernation Experiment.
-
As you know, this is highly classified.
-
However, if successful, we believe
humans can be stored indefinitely.
-
>> However, the trial run
was prone to human error.
-
>> See you in a year.
-
>> And Joe slept slightly longer than expected.
-
Half a millennium, to be exact.
-
>> From Mike Judge, creator of "Office
Space" and "Beavis and Butt-Head."
-
>> Oh, my God!
-
Ha!
-
>> Ha!
-
>> Ha!
-
>> Ha!
-
>> Ha!
-
>> If you were the smartest
person in the world --
-
>> This goes in your mouth.
-
This one goes in your butt.
-
Hang on a second.
-
This one -- this one goes in your mouth.
-
>> And we're stuck with the
dumbest people in history.
-
>> If you have one bucket that
holds two gallons and another bucket
-
that holds five gallons, how
many buckets do you have?
-
>> Two.
-
>> What would you do?
-
>> Excuse me, I'm actually supposed
to be getting out of prison.
-
>> You're in the wrong line.
-
>> I'm the smartest guy in the world?
-
Says who?
-
>> The IQ test you took in prison.
-
You got the highest score in history.
-
>> Even smarter than President Camacho.
-
>> Ladies and gentlemen,
the president of America!
-
>> In the year 2505 --
-
>> We got this guy, he's
going to fix everything!
-
So you smart, huh?
-
>> The ordinary will be considered
extraordinary.
-
>> I thought your head would be bigger.
-
>> Idiocracy.
-
>> For the smartest guy in the
world, you're pretty dumb sometimes.
-
[ Music ]
