[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.04,0:00:05.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> As the 21st century began, human\Nevolution was at a turning point.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.87,0:00:12.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Natural selection -- the process by which the\Nstrongest, the smartest, the fastest reproduced
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.79,0:00:17.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in greater numbers than the rest, a process\Nwhich had once favored the noblest traits
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.83,0:00:21.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of man -- now began to favor different traits.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.43,0:00:24.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most science fiction of the\Nday predicted a future
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.92,0:00:28.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was more civilized and more intelligent.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.25,0:00:31.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, as time went on, things\Nseemed to be heading
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.36,0:00:34.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the opposite direction: a dumbing down.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.22,0:00:36.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How did this happen?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.19,0:00:39.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Evolution does not necessarily\Nreward intelligence.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.52,0:00:44.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With no natural predators to thin the\Nherd, it began to simply reward those
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.73,0:00:49.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who reproduced the most and left the\Nintelligent to become an endangered species.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.76,0:00:54.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Having kids is such an important decision.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.14,0:00:56.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> We're just waiting for the right time.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.97,0:00:59.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not something you want\Nto rush into, obviously.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.48,0:00:59.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> No way.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.53,0:01:03.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Oh, shit, I'm pregnant again.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.86,0:01:06.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Shit! I got too many damn kids!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.93,0:01:08.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thought you was on the pill or some shit.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.36,0:01:09.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Hell, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.86,0:01:09.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Shit!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.36,0:01:11.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I must've been thinking of Brittany..
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.54,0:01:12.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Brittany?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.40,0:01:13.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, you didn't!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.55,0:01:16.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> There's no way we could have a child now.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.95,0:01:18.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not with the market the way it is, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.68,0:01:20.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> That just wouldn't make any sense.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.53,0:01:22.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Come on over here, bitch.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.88,0:01:23.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He don't care about you.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.89,0:01:26.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Yeah? Well, there must be\Nsomething he likes over here.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.08,0:01:28.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> She don't mean nothing to me, baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.30,0:01:28.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Clevon!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.23,0:01:29.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Oh, shit.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.70,0:01:30.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It wasn't me!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.75,0:01:31.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It wasn't me!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.79,0:01:36.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Well, we finally decided to have children,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.19,0:01:39.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm not pointing fingers,\Nbut it's not going well.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.67,0:01:41.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> And this is helping.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.21,0:01:45.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> I'm just saying that before I have in\Nvitro, maybe you should be willing to --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.15,0:01:46.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> It's always me, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.30,0:01:49.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Well, it's not my sperm count.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.92,0:01:50.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Yeah! Yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.38,0:01:53.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to fuck all of y'all.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.22,0:01:54.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> That's my boy!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.32,0:02:00.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Clevon is lucky to be alive.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.05,0:02:03.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He attempted to jump a Jet Ski\Nfrom a lake into a swimming pool
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.85,0:02:05.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and impaled his crotch on an iron gate.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.30,0:02:10.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But thanks to recent advances in stem cell\Nresearch and the fine work of Doctors Krinski
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.22,0:02:13.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Altschuler, Clevon should\Nregain full reproductive function.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.20,0:02:15.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Get your hands off my junk!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.05,0:02:24.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Unfortunately, Trevor passed away\Nfrom a heart attack while masturbating
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.42,0:02:26.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to produce sperm for artificial insemination.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.90,0:02:32.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I have some eggs frozen, so just as soon\Nas the right guy comes along, you know --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.06,0:02:41.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> And so it went for generations,\Nalthough few, if any, seemed to notice.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.26,0:02:48.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> At the dawn of the 21st century,\Nthe Army began a top-secret experiment.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.82,0:02:52.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Meet Joe Bauers, our first subject\Nfor the Human Hibernation Experiment.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.71,0:02:54.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As you know, this is highly classified.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.64,0:02:58.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,However, if successful, we believe\Nhumans can be stored indefinitely.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.91,0:03:02.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> However, the trial run\Nwas prone to human error.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.19,0:03:03.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> See you in a year.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.20,0:03:05.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> And Joe slept slightly longer than expected.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.05,0:03:08.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Half a millennium, to be exact.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.99,0:03:12.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> From Mike Judge, creator of "Office\NSpace" and "Beavis and Butt-Head."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.80,0:03:13.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Oh, my God!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.53,0:03:13.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ha!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.90,0:03:14.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Ha!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.07,0:03:14.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Ha!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.16,0:03:14.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Ha!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.81,0:03:14.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Ha!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.17,0:03:18.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> If you were the smartest\Nperson in the world --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.97,0:03:19.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> This goes in your mouth.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.51,0:03:21.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This one goes in your butt.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.41,0:03:23.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hang on a second.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.91,0:03:26.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This one -- this one goes in your mouth.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.26,0:03:30.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> And we're stuck with the\Ndumbest people in history.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.44,0:03:34.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> If you have one bucket that\Nholds two gallons and another bucket
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.09,0:03:37.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that holds five gallons, how\Nmany buckets do you have?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.42,0:03:39.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Two.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.17,0:03:41.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> What would you do?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.48,0:03:45.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Excuse me, I'm actually supposed\Nto be getting out of prison.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.58,0:03:47.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> You're in the wrong line.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.06,0:03:52.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> I'm the smartest guy in the world?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.96,0:03:53.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Says who?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.60,0:03:55.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> The IQ test you took in prison.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.47,0:03:56.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You got the highest score in history.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.75,0:03:58.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Even smarter than President Camacho.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.40,0:04:00.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Ladies and gentlemen,\Nthe president of America!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.84,0:04:04.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> In the year 2505 --
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.99,0:04:07.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> We got this guy, he's\Ngoing to fix everything!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.35,0:04:08.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you smart, huh?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.37,0:04:11.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> The ordinary will be considered\Nextraordinary.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.64,0:04:13.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> I thought your head would be bigger.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.50,0:04:14.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> Idiocracy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.76,0:04:17.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,>> For the smartest guy in the\Nworld, you're pretty dumb sometimes.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.52,0:04:38.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[ Music ]