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♪ theme music ♪
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(Derek) Welcome to Hope Sabbath School,
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an in-depth, interactive study
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of the Word of God.
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We are coming toward the end
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of a series on Ezra and Nehemiah,
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that's the fifth century, B.C.,
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a Jewish priest and a Jewish exile
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who was a Persian court official.
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God used them to do
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some mighty work for Him,
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and there are principles
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that we will learn for our lives today.
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Today, Dealing with Bad Decisions,
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particularly related to marriage,
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but I'm praying that this
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would not be a negative study,
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but it would give positive instruction
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wherever you are on your journey with God.
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So, welcome to Hope Sabbath School.
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Good to be together again,
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and I'm excited about this topic
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because I feel like it's really relevant
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for our lives today.
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And wherever we are in our journey,
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the Word of God is a lamp
to our feet, right?
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We're glad you're part
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of our Hope Sabbath School family
wherever you are,
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always happy to hear from you.
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Here's a note from Morgan in Mississippi
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in the United States of America.
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Morgan says, "I'm writing
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because it's long overdue.
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I discovered Hope Channel
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for the first time on DirecTV 368
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in January of 2018.
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I must admit I'm learning
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more about the Bible than ever before."
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(Team) Amen.
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(Derek) "I love the interactive
and teaching approach
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that you present to all listeners.
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It's been a joy and a blessing
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since I started watching
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Hope Sabbath School.
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I live in the U.S. in Mississippi.
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I grew up attending
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a local Baptist church, sometimes;
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however, my family never
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honored the Sabbath day
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nor were we active, serious followers
of Jesus.
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As I became older, I began
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to seek Jesus for myself."
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(Team) Amen.
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(Derek) "And I have not been disappointed.
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So I'm still seeking Him everyday.
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And when I became aware of Hope Channel,
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it was a blessing to me,
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especially Hope Sabbath School."
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Well, Morgan, we're just glad you're part
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of our Hope Sabbath School family, right?
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And we're excited that God is leading you
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into a fuller understanding of His truth
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and His plan for your life.
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Here's a note from Joe in Zambia,
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"I greet you in the name
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of the Lord Jesus."
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That wasn't too encouraging.
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Greet him in the name
of the Lord Jesus!
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"My name's Joseph from Lusaka.
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I want to thank you
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for Hope Sabbath School
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and the work you're doing.
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Keep up the good work.
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It keeps me glued to the TV
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to know more about the Kingdom of Heaven."
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(Team) Amen.
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(Derek) "The explanations are distinct
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and clear for all to understand.
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May God keep blessing you
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abundantly with wisdom
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and spread the Word everywhere. Amen."
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(Team) Amen.
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(Derek) I want to meet Joe;
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He's an enthusiastic fellow.
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Banks writes from Canada;
Any Canadians here?
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Yes, Adison, a Canadian.
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He's on the other side
in Gatineau, Canada.
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(Adison) Quebec?
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(Derek) Quebec, Banks St. Fleur,
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"I'm speaking to you in Gatineau.
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I have a great privilege
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to find you and your group
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in that marvelous work,
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an interactive study of the Word of God.
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What a beautiful thing to serve Jesus!"
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(Team) Amen.
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(Derek) "I am praying that Jesus
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can help us to stay close to Him,
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even with what's happening
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around us in the world. Blessings. Amen."
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(Team) Amen.
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(Derek) I think that may have been
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second language, French-speaking Quebec?
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(Adison) Oui.
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(Derek) We're glad, Banks,
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that you could write to us and that you're
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part of our Hope Sabbath School family.
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Here's a note from a donor,
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"I'm enjoying the lessons
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on Hope Sabbath School,
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learning and understanding more.
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You bring things to light
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and make it easier
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to understand the Bible."
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(Team) Amen.
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(Derek) "Thank you for all the work
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that you do to bring the program
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to so many around the world.
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I watch Hope Sabbath School
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three times every week,"
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and a gift of 35 dollars
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to help the ministry.
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You know, all of us working together
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is what makes the miracle happen,
isn't it?
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Thanks so much to our donors
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for your prayers and your support.
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One last note, from Marita in New Zealand,
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way on the other side of the world.
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"I would like to thank you
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for your discussions,
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which sometimes make me laugh
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and other times make me cry; that's life.
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The team, with many different members
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from all over the world,
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working together for the whole family,
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what a great blessing you are.
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I would like to give
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special thanks to Bodil.
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She works behind the scenes,
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always in the background, but very present
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through her Scripture songs."
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(Team) Amen.
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(Derek) "To put music to the Bible
is great.
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I'm singing often during the day
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the songs I learn on Hope Sabbath School."
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(Team) Amen.
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(Derek) "How easy to remember the Bible
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when you put it to music - fantastic!
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I look forward to singing
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with all the saints
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when we are in Heaven."
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Well, Marita, we need you
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to sing with us right now.
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We have a 3,000-year-old Scripture song
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my wife, Bodil, put a new tune to,
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and it says, "To You, O Lord,
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I lift up my soul.
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O my God, I trust in You."
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Let's sing it together.
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♪ music ♪
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(Derek) I was just thinking
while we were singing,
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maybe we'll be in a difficult situation
somewhere,
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and instead of going, "Oh! Oh!"
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we'll just start singing,
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"To You, O Lord...," and the people
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will be like, "Oh!"
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God may send an angel
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on either side of us.
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God is able to care for His children,
isn't He?
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And one of the things
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that we're learning,
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whatever we're facing in life,
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is to call upon the name of the Lord.
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Today, Dealing with Bad Decisions,
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what better thing to do
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than call on the name of the Lord.
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So let's pray together right now.
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To You, O Lord, we lift up our souls.
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We want to thank You,
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that You, through Your prophets
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and most of all through Your Son, Jesus,
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have taught us the way to live
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and the way of salvation.
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And most of all, You've revealed to us
that You love us
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with an immeasurable and unfailing love.
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And I pray, as we look
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at Dealing with Bad Decisions,
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that You would give, not only counsel
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to redirect our path in a healthy way,
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but an awareness of how much
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You love us on our journey;
and I thank You.
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In the name of Jesus. Amen.
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(Team) Amen.
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(Derek) Well, I'm sure
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there were many bad decisions
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that were being made
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in the time of Ezra and Nehemiah,
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just like there are today,
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but both Ezra and Nehemiah
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focus on one bad decision
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that had broad consequences.
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And we're going to start
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with Nehemiah's account
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in Nehemiah, chapter 13, verses 23 and 24.
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And, Stephanie, would you begin our study,
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verses 23 and 24 of Nehemiah 13.
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(Stephanie) I'll be reading
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from the King James Version:
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(Derek) So, a problem here
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is that there is what?
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(Nicole) Intermarriage.
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(Derek) Intermarriage with...?
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(Team) Nonbelievers.
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(Derek) Not just people of other nations,
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but people who worship false gods;
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that's the real challenge.
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And, Adison, look down
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in that same chapter for us, in verse 28.
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I wouldn't say, "to make matters worse,"
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but to compound the problem,
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what does Nehemiah tell us
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in verse 28 of chapter 13?
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(Adison) I'm reading
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from the King James Version:
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(Derek) Now, you remember
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this fellow Sanballat the Horonite.
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Summarize his character in a short phrase.
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What would you say?
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(Travis) Troublemaker.
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(Derek) Troublemaker and...?
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(Jason) Enemy.
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(Derek) Enemy of God!
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Opposer of the things of God.
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And apparently his relative
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married a relative of the high priest.
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So, it's all the way up
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to the top leadership in the community,
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this problem of intermarriage.
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Let's see how Nehemiah responds, Gary,
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if you'd take us, in the same chapter,
verse 25.
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And I know these are startling words,
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but what does Nehemiah do?
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(Gary) Okay, I'll be reading
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from the New King James Version:
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(Derek) Now, before we do an evaluation
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of whether you think it was a good thing
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to curse them, strike some of them,
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pull out their hair,
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what illustration does he give
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of the detrimental effect
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of marrying - taking spouses -
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who worship pagan gods?
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Well, let's look and see.
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Travis, would you read,
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same chapter for us,
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Nehemiah 13, verses 26 and 27.
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(Travis) I'll be reading
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from the New King James Version:
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(Derek) So did God love Solomon?
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(Team) Yes.
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(Derek) Did marrying pagan spouses
impact his life?
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(Team) Yes.
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(Derek) Absolutely.
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Devastating consequences, right?
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Not just setting a poor example,
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but building pagan temples
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and even, doesn't Scripture say,
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drawing his heart away.
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And wasn't that a sin?
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He says it was a sin, right, to do that.
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Why? Because they...?
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They knew better; they knew
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what God had asked them to do.
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But I've got to stop and ask,
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how does what Nehemiah did,
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how does that reflect
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the teaching of Jesus?
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In Matthew 5:43-45, that's where it says,
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"Love your enemies, bless those
who curse you,
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do good to those who spitefully use you
and persecute you."
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And isn't there somewhere else
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in the Sermon on the Mount
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where it says, "Treat others..."?
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(Adison) The Golden Rule.
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(Derek) The Golden Rule, right,
Matthew 7:12,
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the way you would like to be treated.
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So, what do you think, Jonathan?
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I mean, it's fairly intense,
wouldn't you say?
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He struck some; he cursed them.
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I'm sure that doesn't mean
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he used foul language,
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but he said, I guess, what,
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"The curse of God be upon you,"
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or hit them, he pulled some of the hair
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out of their beards?
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(Jonathan) I guess, reading it,
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it does seem like maybe he's
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not acting out of cautious principle,
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maybe a little bit out of emotion.
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But at the same time, I wonder, okay,
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when you have a child or some place
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where you need to set down
strong discipline,
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there certainly is a time
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for maybe doing things
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that one might say, "Well,
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was that loving your neighbor?"
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Well, if you look in the largest sense
of what it was,
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destroying these people's lives
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and the whole community's lives,
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maybe it's a different angle
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on how you evaluate that.
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(Derek) All right, you might say,
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if you saw me heading
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down a destructive path,
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and you really cared about me,
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you might do whatever it takes
to wake me up -
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Malaina, what do you think?
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(Malaina) I think that sometimes
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you need to come at it
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with love and care,
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but if that approach doesn't work,
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and sometimes it doesn't
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always work on people,
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you kind of need to hold them accountable
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and be like, "What you're doing is wrong,
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and it's going to lead
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to even worse consequences."
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And I think that's what Nehemiah
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was trying to get at.
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And maybe it was a little intense,
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but he was really hurt by that, so...
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(Derek) We always need to be careful
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that we don't judge people
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because we don't know
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all the details, right?
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You know, he might have said,
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"I told you last week,"
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or, "I told you a month ago,
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and you just took
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three pagan wives," or whatever.
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So, we don't know all the details,
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but we would all agree
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that he cares about what's happening
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and the negative consequence. Stephanie?
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(Stephanie) Right, and I guess I would say
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we would want to use caution
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not to use this as an excuse for abuse
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in a relationship or anything
of that nature, your child...
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(Derek) Yeah, there is
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such a thing, isn't there...
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What do they call it
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when a spiritual leader abuses...
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(Thomas) It's an abuse of power.
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(Derek) An abuse of power, that's right,
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whether that's abusing people physically
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or sexually or psychologically
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or, I guess, in a religious way, right?
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So you're saying, "Well, he hit people,
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and he pulled their hair out,
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and it's in the Bible,
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so I can do that to people, too."
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You would not see that as an example,
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but what I hear Malaina saying is,
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feeling intense about this
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and doing what it will take to stop them,
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we maybe need to contextualize that
into our culture?
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What do you think, Travis?
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(Travis) First off, if I was a leader
in a church or something,
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I would never pull someone's hair out
and beat them; I just wouldn't.
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I would have to take a different approach.
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(Derek) Even if you felt very intense?
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(Travis) I just wouldn't.
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But we don't know the culture,
as you said.
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But then I think about the verse
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in the Bible where Jesus says,
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"To those I love, I rebuke and chasten."
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Nehemiah had a passionate love,
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and he knew the consequences of this
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would be the death of people.
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So, pulling some hair out, you know,
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doing something like that might be better
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than them dying later on, too,
so I don't know.
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(Derek) Maybe he said,
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"I love you, brother" (yank).
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One thing's clear; go back
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to Deuteronomy, chapter 7;
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they knew what God had asked them to do.
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Deuteronomy, chapter 7,
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Heide, if you have that, and you'd read
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the first three verses for us
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of Deuteronomy, chapter 7.
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It had been clearly told to them
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that God didn't want them
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to do these things.
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(Heide) All right, I'll be reading
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from the New King James Version,
and it says:
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(Derek) Very clear instruction
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that God had given,
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and they're disregarding that.
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Now, before we go on
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and see what's happening in Ezra
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and what he shares,
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let's broaden it out,
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dealing with bad decisions.
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Let's go beyond just taking
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an unbelieving spouse,
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and let's say they knew
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what God taught, Nicole,
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but they did something
completely opposite.
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That could happen in many areas of life.
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Why do people do that?
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Now, we're not talking
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about the people that don't know.
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We're talking about the people
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that know what God's asking them to do,
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and they do the exact opposite.
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Why do they do that?
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Or maybe I should say, why do we
do that sometimes?
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(Nicole) I think part of it
is self-gratification.
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We believe that we know best
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what is good for us and what we like,
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and so, therefore, we engage in activities
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that God tells us not to engage in
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because it gives us gratification
of what we want right now
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because we're in a very "microwave,"
we call it, society.
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And so, rather than wait on God
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to give us the great blessings
He has in store for us,
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we want to gratify ourselves today.
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(Derek) So, "God, I know
you've given this,
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but actually I know better
in this situation"?
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And the angels go, "Oh, no!" right? Gary?
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(Gary) Just to piggyback
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off of what Nicole said,
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it's a lack of faith
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and a lack of trust in God's words.
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I mean, we can't see beyond what we see,
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and because of that,
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and God can see the future,
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He's saying, "Look, you can't see it yet,
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but this is going to be really bad.
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Just don't entertain it."
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And we are just captivated by what we see.
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(Derek) And what we've learned
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from our whole discussion
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is God's direction in our lives
is motivated by...?
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(Team) Love.
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(Derek) He loves us, right?
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He's like, "That is going
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to be destructive." Jonathan?
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(Jonathan) To his point,
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it's hard when you see things
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It's like, "Okay, this makes sense to me."
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It's very hard to go
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based on the small little thing
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you can barely see of, "Okay,
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God is faithful; He knows,"
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and you have to go,
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based on things you cannot see,
which takes faith.
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(Derek) There is a text in the Proverbs
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that says, "There is a way
that seems right."
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I didn't really understand this
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when I was little.
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Now I understand, it actually looks right,
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"But the end thereof is the way of death."
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We don't see that, and so, sometimes
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we may do something directly contrary.
Travis?
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(Travis) I think, too, it's good
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to remember that we're not
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in the Garden of Eden;
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Satan isn't limited to a tree;
he's all over.
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He's got shiny pearls everywhere.
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And so, as we're walking,
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you'd said earlier, the Bible
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is a lamp and a light.
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"Lord, is this okay?" and we need
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to be in constant communion,
"Is this decision okay?"
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"Is this decision okay?"
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As soon as we get away from that,
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we start trusting in ourselves,
as Nicole said.
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And then we're challenged
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with the decisions we made,
or the consequences
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of our own decisions without God.
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(Derek) And certainly the Bible
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has some great principles for us.
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How does a community -
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Church is a community of loving people -
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how does that help us, Chris,
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can I say, to protect us from things
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we may not see immediately?
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(Chris) There are so many
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different types of people in a community.
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There are people that are older than us,
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people that are wiser than us,
people that have
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been through different experiences,
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people that have made the mistakes
that we might make.
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And because of that, they can lead us
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and guide us and show us, "Hey,
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I've been down that road.
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I understand how you feel,
-
but just realize that your feelings
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are going to lead you to this place,
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and you don't want to be here."
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(Derek) So God may use people, too,
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in order to guide us. Evelyn?
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(Evelyn) These communities
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allow individuals to find mentors.
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Everyone needs a mentor in their life.
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And so, churches, families,
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they should all be accountable
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for each other in this way.
-
Mentors are really the people
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you should turn to and say, "Hey, I have
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this in front of me; what should I do?"
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(Derek) Probably finding a mentor
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in a Bible study group
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or worshiping community
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rather than a bar or a club of some kind,
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you know, because you're finding someone
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who is at least seeking
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the way of God, the Word of God.
-
We looked at Ezra;
-
excuse me, we looked at Nehemiah, right?
-
Now we're going to look at Ezra.
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And, by the way, they're
-
not that far apart in years, right?
-
They're kind of contemporaries.
-
In fact, remember at the beginning
-
of our study we shared that in Judaism
-
Ezra and Nehemiah, they're together.
-
Ezra and Nehemiah, right,
-
and in the Septuagint
-
they put them together
-
because they're that same time period,
-
the second wave, if you will,
of exiles coming.
-
Let's go to Ezra, chapter 9,
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verses 1 and 2, and let's see
-
a problem reported to the priest Ezra.
-
Evelyn, if you have that, would you read
-
the first two verses of chapter 9 of Ezra?
-
(Evelyn) Yes, I'll be reading
-
from the New Living Translation:
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(Derek) So, did you notice
-
there's not just one example
-
of this fellow's grandson
-
who married this son-in-law,
-
but it names specifically what...?
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(Team Member) The leaders.
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(Derek) Yeah, didn't it say
-
priests and Levites were part of those...?
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Not all of them, obviously,
-
but some of them were also offending.
-
Now, let's see...and, Malaina,
-
maybe you could read on
-
in chapter 9, verses 3 and 4...
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Let's see how Ezra responds -
-
you know what I'm going
to say, don't you? -
-
how Ezra responds compared
-
to how Nehemiah responded
-
because it was serious
-
in both settings, wasn't it?
-
And maybe there's no right
or wrong response
-
except to feel passionate
-
about following God, right?
-
Malaina, let's look at verses 3 and 4.
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(Malaina) I'll be reading
-
from the New King James Version:
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(Derek) Jonathan?
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(Jonathan) It just does seem
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that his approach does more
-
to appeal, maybe, to a motivation
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of those, like, all those
-
that felt the same gathered around him.
-
Like, maybe it had more of an ability
-
to draw out their conviction
in a better way?
-
(Derek) Jason, what do you think?
-
You saw a difference, obviously, right?
-
(Jason) Yes, there's this self-reflection.
-
So, instead of immediately going out
and attacking,
-
he kind of looks at, "Okay, God,
-
what's gone on here?
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What is the situation,
-
and how can I respond?"
-
Kind of, he has this communication
-
almost, you could say, with God
-
in spending this time.
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(Derek) Uh-huh. Anybody else?
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If not, let's go to chapter 10.
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Stephanie, I know you're processing that.
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You have to say probably there was
-
no textbook saying, "This is
how to respond."
-
Different personalities, but both
-
very passionate, like, "This isn't right."
-
God said, "Don't do this,"
-
and all the way up to priests and Levites
-
are doing it, right?
-
Chapter 10, verses 5 and 6,
-
Nicole, do you have...?
-
We're in Ezra still,
-
chapter 10, verses 5 and 6.
-
Let's see how he continues to respond.
-
(Nicole) The New Living Translation
-
of Ezra 10, verses 5 and 6 says:
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(Derek) When you hear
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that "ate and drank nothing,"
-
what comes to mind?
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(Team) Fasting.
-
(Derek) Fasting and...? And prayer, yeah.
-
I think, Jason, you kind of described it.
-
It's very much...He's trying
-
to deal with this with God.
-
He's fasting and praying
over this situation.
-
(Jonathan) It makes me think
-
of Gandhi in some sense,
-
not a direct correlation,
-
but Gandhi went for a long time
-
without food and water
-
in a sense trying to appeal
-
to people's conscience.
-
And so, maybe in a somewhat similar...
-
(Derek) Sure, you're thinking
-
in the 20th century a leader that,
-
instead of using aggression, he uh...
-
(Jonathan) Appealed to their conscience.
-
(Derek) He appealed to them
-
by how much he was grieving
-
over the abuse that he saw.
-
Certainly other places in Scripture
-
where people ate and drank nothing
-
in connection with seeking God,
-
help me, some other stories, Gary?
-
(Gary) The Ninevites after Jonah came.
-
(Derek) That's right, after Jonah says,
-
"God's going to destroy this city,"
-
they repented with fasting. Yes?
-
(Team Member) Saul/Paul.
-
(Derek) Saul, for three days
-
after he encounters the risen Christ.
-
And a contemporary of Ezra and Nehemiah,
-
namely Queen Esther
-
who asked all of the people,
-
including her uncle Mordecai,
-
to eat and drink nothing for three days,
-
to fast and to pray.
-
So I don't think it's reading
-
too much into the text
-
to say that he wasn't just going
on a health diet,
-
but this was really fasting
-
and praying and seeking God.
-
So here he is, dealing
-
with a difficult situation.
-
At this point, I guess he's
-
done something external, what's he done?
-
What did you read?
-
(Team Member) Pull on his beard?
-
(Derek) No...He's done
-
some things internally, introspectively...
-
(Nicole) He told the Israelites
to swear...
-
(Derek) He did; he called
-
the leaders, didn't he?
-
We read that; the leaders
-
of the priests and Levites,
-
verse 5 of Ezra 10.
-
But very much, and I think
-
we see this with Nehemiah, too,
-
bathing this whole thing in prayer, right?
-
Why is that important?
-
We're talking about trying
-
to resolve a bad situation.
-
Why is prayer so important, Evelyn,
-
when you find yourself
-
in a situation like that?
-
(Evelyn) Because we know
-
that God is the One who stores wisdom,
-
and we need to be on our knees
-
and ask Him, "God, give me
-
that gift of wisdom.
-
Help me figure out
-
this terrible situation,
-
help me know how to handle this."
-
And God really is Someone
-
who uses the Holy Spirit to inspire us.
-
(Derek) Yes, Nicole. Thank you.
-
(Nicole) I would also say that people
-
make a decision and they stick to it,
-
and they want to know
-
that they're right in their decision.
-
It's hard to tell them, "You're wrong
for what you've done."
-
We need to have prayer and the Holy Spirit
helping us with our words
-
to be able to reach someone
that's made a decision
-
that they believe is right and that they
want to make.
-
(Derek) And sometimes,
-
like Malaina said earlier,
-
it takes courage to go to someone
-
and say, "Brother, let me tell you
-
where you'll end up
-
if you go down that road."
-
Like Chris was saying,
-
"I've been down that road,"
-
or, "My parents went down that road,"
or whatever.
-
Sometimes that takes courage,
right? Travis?
-
(Travis) Desperate times
-
call for desperate measures.
-
This is a God-sized problem.
-
This isn't a leaky faucet
-
that I need a wrench to go fix.
-
This is something that he
-
cannot handle on his own.
-
So, when you have a God-sized problem,
-
you have to fall on your knees.
-
(Derek) Yeah, and seek wisdom
-
like Evelyn said. Jonathan?
-
(Jonathan) I think, as well,
-
that sometimes we, when we're
in situations like that,
-
we can make things worse
-
if we're not careful.
-
I mean, if we start acting out of emotion
-
and out of trust in ourselves,
-
we can lay foundations
-
that can maybe go in directions like...
-
(Derek) Could we make things worse?
-
(Jonathan) Oh, yeah.
-
(Derek) We could make things worse.
Adison?
-
(Adison) Just to add onto that,
-
we just need to be praying
-
for a spirit of tactfulness,
-
for a winsome spirit,
-
and, yeah, the ability
-
to say yea or nay, right,
-
just the way we handle it...
-
Just have the discipline
-
when we approach someone.
-
(Derek) It appears, from reading the text,
-
that Ezra holds the leaders,
-
can I say, at a higher standard?
-
Maybe not, maybe we all
-
have the same standard.
-
But he expects more of them
-
because they are leaders.
-
Is that fair? We're all human beings, Tom.
-
Why have a higher expectation of leaders?
-
(Thomas) The leaders are the ones
-
who set the examples
-
for everybody else to follow.
-
The question I have is,
-
why did they listen to him?
-
(Derek) Why did they listen?
-
(Thomas) Yeah, like...
-
(Derek) Good question
-
because he was a leader, too, right?
-
What do you think,
-
in answer to Tom's question?
-
Why did they listen to him?
-
They hadn't been listening before.
-
Why did they listen to John the Baptist
-
when he told them what to do?
-
Why did they listen to Jesus?
-
What's the answer to that question? Heide?
-
(Heide) I think that they knew
it was true,
-
and the Holy Spirit convicted them
-
of that, that it was true.
-
(Derek) But they'd known that before.
-
They knew before, didn't they?
-
Why did they listen to him?
-
Chris, what do you think?
-
(Chris) I do think it was
-
the power of the Holy Spirit.
-
I think, in terms of the people,
-
even though they kind of knew before,
-
I think they were dealing with a situation
-
where there had been generations
of mistakes
-
because they had been living in Babylon.
-
And before that, the generations
-
that came before them had done wrong,
-
and that's why they had been living
in Babylon.
-
So now we're dealing with a set of people
-
that, even though they know
what the laws are,
-
they've never seem them applied.
-
And so you need the power
-
of the Holy Spirit in those moments
-
to deal with generational teachings.
-
And I think that's why it was effective,
-
because Ezra took the time
to fast and pray
-
and allow the Lord to speak through him,
-
so that way, the people,
-
through all that generational mess
-
that was in their minds,
-
could hear what Ezra
-
was actually trying to say.
-
(Derek) I mean, it was
clearly supernatural,
-
but I would respond,
-
they listened to Him because they saw
-
that God was with him.
-
John the Baptist, when he said,
-
"If you've got two coats,
sell one of them.
-
If they ask you to go a mile, go two,"
-
and right after that it says,
-
"Some even wondered if He was the Christ."
-
So he lived, right, a credible life
-
as you would as a woman of God/man of God
-
that gives you a certain credibility,
-
authority, which isn't just given
but earned.
-
They listened to him.
-
There's one verse in 1 Peter
-
that I think is helpful for us
-
about leadership and expecting more
of leaders.
-
By the way, we are all leaders, right?
-
We all have a circle of influence, right?
-
It could be our dorm room.
-
It could be our family.
-
It could be we're a supervisor at work.
-
Adison, would you read
-
from 1 Peter, chapter 5, verses 1 to 4?
-
Here, Peter, who used to operate
-
a fishing business with his brother
Andrew,
-
so he'd been a leader
-
in that circle of influence,
-
let's hear what he says
-
about expecting something
-
of those who are in a leadership position.
-
(Adison) And I'll be reading
-
from the King James Version:
-
(Derek) So, your Bible says
-
"ensamples to the flock."
-
Does anyone have another translation?
-
(Travis) Examples.
-
(Derek) Examples, okay.
-
It reminds me of what Paul says
-
where he says, "Follow me
-
as I follow Christ."
-
You see, people are going
going to follow the leader.
-
If you're a mother, a father,
-
a leader in your community,
-
people look up to you;
-
you're an older young lady,
-
and there are younger girls
-
that look up to you, right?
-
And he's saying that's part
-
of being a leader.
-
And he's saying, "Your example
-
is impacting other people." Travis?
-
(Travis) I think of the verse
we sang as a Scripture song
-
here at Hope Sabbath School,
-
"Therefore, I beseech you
-
to walk worthy of the calling
with which you were called."
-
We've all been called to walk
worthy of that calling.
-
(Derek) And the beautiful thing there,
that's not talking
-
about earning salvation.
-
You've been saved by God's grace;
live like it.
-
And that's only by a personal connection
with Jesus, right?
-
But here we are, this bad decision,
-
of course, is that they were allowing
-
their sons to marry unbelieving women
-
and allowing their daughters
-
to marry unbelieving men.
-
The Bible has some more to say.
-
Well, let's just look
-
at how Ezra addresses it
-
before we look at some other counsel.
-
In Ezra, chapter 10 still,
-
verses 10 through 12.
-
Nicole, could you read that for us?
-
(Nicole) Sure, Ezra 10,
-
verses 10 through 12,
-
the New Living Translation says:
-
(Derek) Is that an easy thing to ask?
-
(Team) No.
-
(Derek) "But, Ezra, I've been married
-
to this lady for...,"
-
(Nicole) Twenty years.
-
(Derek) Whatever the number is, right?
-
What do you think about his...
-
He spent time fasting and praying.
-
He's been grieving, right?
-
He'd been pulling out his own beard.
-
But now he gives a very straight command.
Jason?
-
(Jason) I like that even before he
-
gives the command, though,
-
he says, "Make confession
-
to the Lord God of your fathers."
-
So, before the action
-
and the separating there,
-
there's the confession.
-
There's the individual recognition
-
of the wrong that has been done.
-
And so I like that he puts that
-
before he gives the command.
-
It shows the process of how God
-
has been working in this decision.
-
(Derek) So, how would you respond, Tom,
-
to someone who might say,
-
"Well, obviously that was a bad mistake,
-
but just setting aside that pagan wife,
-
that's like adding another mistake
-
to a mistake you've already committed"?
-
I mean, who's going to care for this lady?
-
How would you respond to that?
-
(Thomas) The thing that comes to my mind
-
is that it's not automatic
-
that it's going to inevitably be
a separation.
-
I think what it could mean
-
is that they're setting a standard
-
of what they expect of their partners.
-
Like, just to give you an example,
-
I think so many people
-
who are going into relationships
-
need to have expectations
for their partner.
-
I remember when my wife,
-
or who was my girlfriend at the time
-
and wanted to date me,
-
she said, "I want to make sure
-
that you're spiritual first,"
-
and she said, "I want to see
-
that you're growing spiritually."
-
And she set that standard.
-
And I stepped up because I wanted
-
to be in that relationship.
-
And I think so many people
-
don't realize what they have,
-
and so they don't value it.
-
And I think what I'm hearing him say
-
is, "We really have something;
-
you need to value it and have expectations
-
and standards for yourself."
-
I don't think it necessarily follows
-
that they have to separate
-
unless they're not willing to step it up,
-
but it's possible that many
-
of them might have.
-
(Derek) That's a powerful insight.
-
You know, it may be that you say,
-
"We can't continue where we're
-
not in spiritual harmony,"
-
and that spouse may go and seek God
-
and be transformed, right?
-
And say, "You know, I need
-
to leave the gods."
-
Can you think of someone in the Bible
-
who did that, right
-
(we're going to get to those
in just a minute),
-
that it's not inevitable
-
that that would mean
-
a permanent separation?
-
But it's drawing clear boundaries
-
of what God wants to see, right?
-
So let's broaden it out a little bit,
-
and let's say, can you name
-
some other Bible characters besides...
-
Who was the one that Ezra used
-
as an example who made
-
some bad decisions?
-
(Team) Solomon.
-
(Derek) Solomon, right?
-
Actually he made 700 bad decisions
-
and 300 girlfriends, right?
-
Yes, that's a thousand.
-
Now, I suppose some of them
-
might have been believers
-
in the true God of Heaven,
-
so we're not sure,
-
but certainly he was an example Ezra used.
-
It was devastating, not only to him,
-
but to the kingdom.
-
Think of some other examples
-
in the Bible, now, where marrying
-
an unbelieving spouse, a spouse
-
who was not seeking the God of Heaven,
-
had really damaging effects. Heide?
-
(Heide) Samson is a prime example.
-
(Derek) "But I like her," I mean,
-
isn't that what he said?
-
"She looks hot," that's
-
a rough translation of the Hebrew.
-
"She looks good to me."
-
And the parents are like,
-
"There are lots of good-looking girls
who love God."
-
Great example. Damaging?
-
(Team) Yes.
-
(Derek) I wonder how much
-
he thought about that
-
after his eyes had been gouged out, right?
-
"Wow, I was living for my eyes
-
and ended up losing them," wow.
-
Another example besides Samson. Travis?
-
(Travis) I think of Ahab because...
-
(Derek) Ahab! You always wonder.
-
You know, you think of Ahab and think,
-
well, he was clearly wicked.
-
What if he had found a godly companion
-
who, like Thomas' girlfriend
-
at the time, Hannah,
-
said, "I need to know
-
that you're really seeking God"?
-
And Ahab could have said, "I need to,"
-
to quote Thomas, "step it up."
-
Instead, what was the name
-
of the lady he married?
-
(Team) Jezebel.
-
(Derek) You know, famous for her...
-
(Heide) Wickedness.
-
(Derek) Wickedness.
-
I mean, even unbelievers today, they don't
-
name any of their daughters Jezebel.
-
It's a name that will live
in infamy, right?
-
So there are examples.
-
(Chris) I was commenting on Jezebel.
-
The Bible says that even though Ahab...
-
As if Ahab didn't do
-
enough bad stuff already,
-
he went and married Jezebel.
-
That marriage that he did was so bad
-
that it was worse than any
-
of the other things that he
had already done.
-
And it's because of what it
would mean later,
-
but that's how bad that decision was,
-
that God held it more than any
of his other sins.
-
(Derek) So, that's the bad.
-
Let's go to the good.
-
Let's go...Who married up?
-
Who maybe married someone...
-
I really like what Tom said,
-
that, when he said, unbelieving spouse,
-
that doesn't necessarily mean
-
it was a permanent separation.
-
You could say, "Here's someone.
-
I just need to know that their heart
-
is desiring to follow
-
the one true God of Heaven."
-
Some stories of a good example,
-
can you think of one?
-
(Adison) Boaz and Ruth.
-
(Derek) That's right.
-
Ruth, he goes, "I'm going to marry
-
this young lady Ruth."
-
They're like, "Ruth?! She's from..."?
-
(Team) Moab.
-
(Derek) That's where they
-
have gods like Marduk.
-
I mean, that's where they
-
sacrifice their children in the fire!
-
"You're going to marry Ruth?!"
-
And the answer is...?
-
(Nicole) "Yes," she demonstrated
-
that she was a believer in Christ
-
because when she came back with Naomi,
-
he could see that she loved Naomi
-
enough, to be able to understand
that she could be someone
-
that was going to love God,
and she was going to make
-
this whole family a better place.
-
(Derek) Of course, Christ means
the Anointed One
-
who has not even come, but she's
believing the promise
-
of the Messiah who will come
-
who will be the Savior of God's people.
-
"And your people will be..."?
-
(Team) "...my people..."
-
(Derek) "...and your God..."?
-
(Team) "...my God."
-
(Derek) And did Boaz make
-
a mistake in marrying Ruth?
-
(Team) No/Not at all.
-
(Derek) You can ask him
-
when you see him in the Kingdom,
-
and he'll say, "Best decision
I ever made."
-
Can you think of another one,
-
where someone who maybe wasn't
-
originally part of the family,
was changed?
-
Anybody else you can think of? Nicole?
-
(Nicole) My favorite character is Esther.
-
(Derek) Esther?
-
(Nicole) She married the king of Persia.
-
At the time, he was not a God-seeker
-
or a God-believer,
-
but I think through her example
-
of how she looked in the palace
before they got married
-
and then marrying her and her sacrifice
-
and just seeing her character...
-
He may not have been a believer,
-
but I think he came around
-
to understand that there was
-
a power in her that was bigger
than what he was.
-
(Derek) Very interesting.
-
Of course, you know, there are
-
a lot of questions in the story.
-
But one can only imagine in the harem,
-
which is what she was part of,
-
where they were rotating young girls
-
through, was it every night?
-
I forget how often they went through.
-
But I'm sure some of them were thinking,
-
"What's the most outrageous thing
-
I could do that would set me apart?"
-
And Hadassah, who is called Esther,
-
is thinking, "How do I let
-
the light of God shine out?"
-
And you're right, this pagan king,
-
he sees the light of God,
-
and God uses a pagan king
-
to deliver His people, God's people.
-
So, we ought not to write...
-
We have an expression
-
in English, don't we,
-
to write people off?
-
We ought not to say,
-
"Just because you were
-
born in that family...,"
-
back to what Tom was saying earlier.
-
We ought to see what the direction
-
of the heart is, right?
-
Oh, boy, but let me hyperspace
over to that.
-
But someone's contemplating
marrying someone they...
-
"Oh, but he's so wonderful,"
-
or, "She's so wonderful.
-
She doesn't believe in Jesus,
-
but she's so good to me."
-
"He's so kind to me."
-
Stephanie, help us.
-
There are people watching who are going,
-
"Oh, he's been reading my emails."
-
There are several things we might respond,
-
and there's not going to be one
pat answer, right?
-
What would you say to her or to him?
-
(Stephanie) I think the burden
-
that I would share with them
-
is that, "Your value is not based
-
on words of other people,
-
but it's based on the blood
of Jesus Christ.
-
So, when you can find your value
-
and your self-worth in Jesus,
-
then He will bring you to the person
-
who also is focusing on Jesus."
-
(Derek) Okay, so that aspect
-
then would say, "No matter how sweet
-
or kind or how often they compliment you,
-
if their heart hasn't
-
been surrendered to Jesus...,"
-
what should they do?
-
There are several verbs we might use here.
-
(Team) Run.
-
(Derek) One might be run, certainly run
-
if it's an abusive relationship
-
where they're kind of, what would you say,
-
dominating you, right?
-
Run. What other verbs
-
might we use besides run?
-
(Heide) Kneel.
-
(Derek) Kneel, yes, kneel. Others?
-
(Stephanie) Pray while you're kneeling.
-
(Derek) Pray. What about wait?
-
Why could waiting be helpful, Adison?
-
(Adison) Well, that's sort of the boat
-
I'm in right now, actually.
-
(Derek) Okay, tell us the story. No.
-
(Adison) I think that's
-
such an important word.
-
And, you know, the Bible
-
talks about patience being a virtue.
-
(Derek) Yes.
-
(Adison) And good things coming
to those who wait.
-
And our bodies are the temple of God,
-
and if we value our bodies as God -
-
like, God has put...He went to every...
-
like, He went to the farthest extent
-
to save each of us -
-
I think we'd realize how much we are worth
-
and that we are priceless in God's eyes,
-
that we are incomparable, irreplaceable,
-
I think we're a lot more willing
-
to wait for the right person,
-
the right spouse for God
-
to bring into our lives.
-
He will give us discernment and wisdom
-
to be able to make those big decisions.
-
I had a pastor that told me
-
that the two most important decisions
-
you could make in your life
-
is, one, when you give
-
your heart to Jesus,
-
when you make that public declaration
-
of your faith in Jesus as your Savior.
-
And then the second one,
-
who you're going to marry.
-
(Derek) So, if I'm hearing
-
Adison's testimony clearly,
-
his wait is not, "I've got
this relationship;
-
I'm not sure it's of God,
-
so I'm going to just wait."
-
You haven't found it yet,
-
so you're waiting until God shows you.
-
(Adison) That's right.
-
(Derek) Could it also be,
-
"I think this is it; wait"?
-
(Adison) That could be, too.
-
(Derek) Because what will waiting do?
-
(Nicole) Show you what you need to see...
-
(Jonathan) Demonstrate character.
-
(Derek) Someone told me that you can
-
wear a mask for about a year
in a relationship.
-
This was a marriage counselor, by the way,
-
who told me, two years for courting.
-
You rush at your peril.
-
You say, "But I know someone who rushed,
-
and it worked out."
-
But I know a lot who rushed,
-
and it didn't, right?
-
So, waiting gives you time to see
-
the true character of the person,
right? Gary?
-
(Gary) I was going to say, my wife,
-
she wasn't originally a Christian.
-
She was a nominal Christian;
-
she knew who God was.
-
But we were friends,
-
and, long story short,
-
we started Bible studies,
-
and then she went and found a pastor.
-
So, she didn't depend on me.
-
She found out who Jesus was,
-
and she wanted to know more.
-
So she went and did
-
what she could do to find out
-
and started going to church.
-
And eventually, after we waited,
we got married.
-
But, I mean, I didn't meet her
-
and say, "Oh, I want to marry her."
-
She was just my friend
-
who I was giving studies to.
-
And she did the rest
-
of the soul-seeking,
-
the soul-searching herself
-
and found the love of Christ.
-
(Derek) We were going to say,
"What happened?"
-
but you just called her your wife.
-
But that didn't happen
-
in a few weeks, you said?
-
(Gary) No, no no, it was...
-
I knew her, like, 2010,
-
and we were married 2015,
so five years, yeah.
-
(Derek) Five years, and during that time,
-
you saw her grow.
-
I'm sure she was watching you, too, right?
-
(Gary) Yeah, yeah, she looked
-
at how I was with my family
-
and my church family
-
and my relationship with God,
-
and she wanted to do that where she was.
-
We were long distance,
-
so she was in Kansas, and I was here.
-
And it just took time, yeah.
-
(Derek) Amen?
-
(Team) Amen.
-
(Derek) Second Corinthians 6:14 says,
-
"Do not be unequally yoked
with unbelievers."
-
What is that talking about?
-
And then I'm going to ask someone to share
-
who grew up in a family where there was
-
an unequal yoking together,
-
what that was like, okay?
-
Do you think that's talking
-
about marriage, "Do not
-
be unequally yoked," Stephanie?
-
(Stephanie) Sure, but I think
it's broader.
-
(Derek) Broader, okay, could it
-
include marriage to an unbeliever?
-
(Team) Yes.
-
(Derek) Okay, what else could it include,
-
"Do not be unequally yoked," Tom?
-
(Thomas) It could involve doing business
-
or having a contractual relationship
-
with somebody who has different values.
-
(Derek) Where you go, "I can't,"
-
because two can't walk together
-
unless they're agreed, right?
-
So it could be a business,
-
don't be yoked with a person
-
who has different values. Jonathan?
-
(Jonathan) I know a number of families
-
that I've watched in different churches
-
I've been where usually the female,
-
but often somebody, one of the couples,
-
is just passionate about serving God
-
and so into it, but they're alone.
-
And they're not able to share that
-
with their other half.
-
(Derek) So, it may include
-
things that you're passionate about,
-
goals, not just whether or not
-
you believe in God--check--right? Tom?
-
(Thomas) In fact, I was going to say
-
that just because you have
-
the same denominational affiliation
-
doesn't mean you're compatible
-
or that you even have the same faith
-
because many people look for somebody
-
of the same ("Oh, check")...
-
they've got the same religious beliefs,
-
but that doesn't necessarily mean
-
that they are good for you, still.
-
(Derek) Right.
-
(Thomas) They could still be abusive;
-
they could still be,
-
not in love with Jesus, you know?
-
(Derek) Tom, you mentioned to me
-
before the broadcast
-
that you did grow up in a family,
-
would you say it was not equally yoked?
-
(Thomas) Yeah, I just want to say first,
-
I love my dad, and I have
-
a lot of respect for him,
-
so I don't want to talk bad about him.
-
But he wasn't a believer;
it's just a fact.
-
He didn't go to church.
-
And it was really hard
-
for my family, my mother,
-
because, you know, every time
-
we wanted to go to church,
-
he would stay home.
-
And I think we just missed out
on the intimacy
-
and that spiritual connection.
-
My mother was the spiritual leader
-
of her family because of that.
-
And I think that led
-
to some tension, unfortunately.
-
I think, personally from that experience
-
I realized how important it is
-
to have a relationship that has
-
a common faith or at least common values.
-
(Derek) So, may I ask
-
a personal question in response,
-
because you are a committed follower
of Jesus.
-
We know that because you
-
sought a godly companion, Hannah;
-
you shared in this program your testimony.
-
And you've grown, even, spiritually
as a couple,
-
so who helped you as a mentor
-
because your dad spiritually
-
was not that for you?
-
(Thomas) Well, my mother
-
was a good influence for me; I learned
-
a lot about relationships from her.
-
But she remarried;
-
my stepdad was a pastor,
-
and he was a really good role model to me,
-
and I really appreciated that.
-
So that was very helpful.
-
But I think the one Person
-
that's really made the biggest difference
-
in our relationship is God or Jesus.
-
I mean that's the biggest...
-
(Derek) A personal relationship.
-
(Thomas) Having that common connection
-
is really what keeps us together.
-
(Derek) Is there anyone else here
-
that was involved in a relationship
-
where God wasn't at the center? Malaina.
-
(Malaina) I was actually in a relationship
-
for like two-and-a-half years
with someone,
-
and when I started learning
more about God
-
(I wasn't a follower of Jesus),
-
they actually became very jealous of that
-
and spending time with God.
-
And then I had the opportunity
-
to go to the ARISE program in Australia
-
that my stepfather, Travis,
-
offered for me to go.
-
He said, "If you go,
-
we're not staying together."
-
Like, "You're not going to Australia;
-
you're not doing that."
-
And long story short,
-
I had to end that relationship,
-
which was really hard
-
because it was not like I
didn't care for him.
-
But the result of my ending
that relationship
-
ended in my going to Australia
-
and giving my heart to Jesus.
-
(Team) Amen.
-
(Malaina) So it was a good decision
in the long run.
-
(Derek) Not necessarily easy.
-
(Malaina) No, it was very hard,
-
and I wrestled with it
-
for three months, too,
-
which caused more damage in the long run.
-
(Derek) Travis, you were quoted
-
in the previous testimony,
-
but you've also experienced that
-
in your own journey.
-
(Travis) I have, and, you know,
-
I want to say something positive.
-
I know we're getting to the end
of the program.
-
I want to say something positive.
-
I had a business relationship with someone
-
who was not from the same denomination,
-
but we respected each others' beliefs.
-
We had a beautiful business relationship
for a long time.
-
And so, when we are equally yoked,
-
positive things can come from that.
-
Dan and Billie, my partner's wife
was Billie,
-
and his name was Dan, and they are two
-
of the most amazing Christian people
I know.
-
And it was a beautiful thing
-
to be in a business relationship with him.
-
(Derek) So, if we've made
some bad decisions,
-
we don't have to stay there.
-
We can set healthy boundaries,
-
and we can move forward.
-
If we haven't made bad decisions,
-
we don't have to make them.
-
You don't have to do that
-
in order to know they were bad.
-
God wants to guide us, my friend,
through His Word.
-
But what's so important is,
-
wherever you are, He loves you
-
with an immeasurable and unfailing love.
-
And He wants to surround you
-
with people who love Him and love you -
-
ve've heard those testimonies,
even today -
-
to guide your steps
-
and to help you in that new life.
-
We've all got times
-
when we've made bad decisions,
-
but He can give us a new beginning.
-
Let's pray for that even today.
-
Father in Heaven, thank You so much
-
that You're patient and kind.
-
You never give up; You can
-
always give new beginnings
-
to those who call upon You.
-
And I thank You that, as we seek You
and find You,
-
that You will direct our steps each day.
-
In the name of Jesus. Amen.
-
(Team) Amen.
-
(Derek) Thanks for joining us
-
for Hope Sabbath School.
-
I know you want to send me
-
all the bad decisions you've made,
-
but just praise Jesus
-
that He will guide you
-
in better decisions.
-
And one decision you can make today
-
is to go out and share the love of Jesus
-
with those around you.
-
♪ theme music ♪