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[MACHINE HUMMING SOUNDS]
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I kind of enjoy being in that stage
of perpetual confusion,
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not being completely at place
with one category
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and being completely comfortable in that flux.
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["Jes Fan In Flux"]
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[Urban Glass, Brooklyn]
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[Jes Fan, artist]
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While I was in school
in the RISD glass program,
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learning how this matter transformed itself
from one state into another
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really entranced me into thinking,
"How I can I apply it to other mediums?"
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--You have to move so quick
because the material is alive.
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--It was liquid, now it's almost plastic
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-- and then it'll become more like
what we think of what glass is.
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My work comes from two experiences.
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--Blow.
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One is moving from Hong Kong,
where I was considered as a majority.
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And then moving to the U.S. where
I was suddenly considered as a minority.
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And another one is
growing up being queer.
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Being queer in Hong Kong is very hard.
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You can't find yourself represented.
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When you can't see yourself in the mirror,
you think you're a ghost.
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I'm really curious as to how
substances get imbued
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with these really political identity categories,
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and how there is also constantly
a biological affiliation to race.
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So I started making sculptures
extending to biological mediums--
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things that are imbued
with identity categories--
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specifically testosterone,
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and also estrogen,
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but also melanin.
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In one of the projects I did
called "Mother is a Women,"
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I asked my mom for her urine samples.
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There is nothing weirder than holding
your mom's excretions in your hand
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trying to cross U.S. customs.
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[LAUGHS]
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It's so weird.
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Then I worked with a lab
and extracted estrogen out of the sample,
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and created a beauty cream out of it.
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[VIDEO VOICE OVER]
--The purest estrogen from my mother's urine...
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[FAN] In this age where substances
that sustain identity categories
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can be bought, and sold,
and made, and commissioned,
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how am I, as a vessel of these identities, exist?
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[Chinatown]
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I started playing with these substances
when a lot of friends around me started transitioning.
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And also I started transitioning.
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Using testosterone to masculinize my body
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is in some way similar to
using a chisel to carve out a surface.
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In a way, you're sculpting your body.
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And in a way, I'm also like that glass,
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in this liquid transformation,
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or perpetually in flux.
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It's almost like watching Discovery Channel.
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You learn codes
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that you weren't brought up leaning
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and you have to unlearn a lot.
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It's not always comfortable.
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[Recess, Brooklyn]
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Right now, I'm working on a series
of sculptures called "Systems."
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They are all this lattice pattern
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with these glass globules hanging on them.
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These glass globules in turn become
containers for these biological substances.
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I pour silicone inside the vessel.
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Then I inject melanin,
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testosterone,
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and also estrogen,
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and also fat.
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Playing with these substances,
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I want to see it detached from the body
and existing on its own.
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Once they're removed from the body,
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the sight of identification,
like, "What are they?"
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It's really interesting how animate
these materials are,
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not behaving in a way
that you would expect it to.
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There's a material expansion
that wants to push the shells.
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And sometimes it just implodes.
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Holding the melanin in my hands,
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or holding the hormones in my hands--
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such contested political substance--
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there's some absurdity in it.
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How banal are these little flecks of powders?
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This is ultimately the most absurd.
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Maybe it is triggering the similar
experiences of being racialized,
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or being gendered.
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It's just the disposition
that you're constantly placed in--
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a constant act of othering.
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But, how can we be so absolutely certain
that the binary can satisfy us?