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Every parent's worst nightmare:
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July 20, 2012,
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my phone rings at 4:30 in the morning.
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It's my son Alex's girlfriend, Amanda,
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saying hysterically,
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"Tom, Tom, there's been a shooting,
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and they dragged me out of the theater.
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They wouldn't let me stay.
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I wanted to [stay],
but they dragged me out."
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I say to Amanda,
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"Amanda, are you OK? Have you been hurt?"
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And she said no, that she was fine,
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that Alex had saved her life.
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I then say,
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"Amanda, where's Alex?"
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And she says, sobbing,
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"I don't know, we can't find him.
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They dragged me out of the theater.
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They made me leave.
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He was shot.
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I tried to wake him up,
but I couldn't wake him up.
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He wouldn't get up.
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They dragged me away.
I didn't want to leave him."
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And I say to Amanda,
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"The last time you saw Alex,
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was he bleeding?
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Did you have any of his blood on you?"
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And she cries, "Yeah, a lot,"
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and breaks down.
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Alex loved Amanda.
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And he was one of the most
honorable men on earth,
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and at the age of 24,
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he had to make the decision
to risk his life
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in order to ensure she would live.
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I knew in my heart if he couldn't get up,
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he was dead.
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I had just arrived
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the night before
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with my wife Caren
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and my youngest son
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for a week's vacation in Hawaii.
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We were literally
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3,300 miles away.
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Caren and I frantically started
calling his cell phone,
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to no avail.
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We left multiple messages.
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We then turned to the media.
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But all we could find
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was information on the murderer
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and his booby-trapped apartment.
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We tried calling
the Aurora police station,
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but it was impossible to get an answer.
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But in hindsight, it was understandable.
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They were dealing with
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12 dead, 70 injured,
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the carnage so bad,
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the police had to bring
some of the victims to the hospitals
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in the backs of their police cars,
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because they had run out of ambulances.
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It was a horrific and chaotic scene.
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We would never see Alex again,
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his injuries so severe
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I had to shield even his mom
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from looking upon him,
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for fear that would be
the lasting image of him in her mind.
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But you know who we would see
again and again?
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The murderer.
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His pictures were everywhere.
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One article was six paragraphs long
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and featured his name 41 times.
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The media had made him famous.
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But my firstborn son, Alex,
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a hero,
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was absent from those initial reports.
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Caren and I immediately realized
that there was something wrong
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with the way the media responds
to these random mass shootings
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since Columbine.
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We started doing research,
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and we realized
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that if we could change
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the way the media reports,
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we could reduce the amount of shootings
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and save lives.
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(Applause)
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Let me explain.
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Almost every single random mass shooter
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has something in common.
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Can anybody guess what that is?
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They want notoriety.
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They want to be famous.
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In fact,
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these murderers
are telling us this themselves.
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The Sandy Hook murderer
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kept a spreadsheet
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of previous mass murderers
and their number of kills.
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The Orlando Pulse nightclub murderer
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called a local news station --
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during his attack! --
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and then stopped to check Facebook
to see if he'd gone viral.
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The Parkland murderer
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recorded and posted
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a video
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stating,
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"When you see me on the news,
you'll know who I am."
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The Aurora theater murderer
told his psychiatrist
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that he recognized he couldn't
make an impact on the world in science,
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but he could become famous
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by blowing people up.
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And most telling,
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the Umpqua Community College murderer
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wrote on his blog
about a previous mass murderer,
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saying,
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"I've noticed that people like him
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are all alone and unknown,
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but when they spill a little blood,
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the whole world knows who they are."
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A man who was known by no one
is now known by everyone,
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his face splashed across every screen,
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his name on the lips
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of everyone on the planet,
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all in one day.
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It seems like the more people you kill,
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the more you're in the limelight.
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These are just a few examples.
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I could go on and on.
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These murderers are telling us
they want to be famous
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like the murderers before them,
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and the media continues to give them
exactly what they seek:
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notoriety.
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The gun debate is very emotional,
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and our mental health issues
are very complicated.
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Both will take time to correct.
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But to reduce the carnage,
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we don't need an act of Congress.
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What we need is an act of conscience
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on the producers
and consumers of mass media
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to remove the reward of notoriety.
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(Applause)
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So to save lives,
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Caren and I launched "No Notoriety,"
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dedicated to challenging the media
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to protect our communities
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by adhering to these
research-backed principles.
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One: report all the facts
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on the mindset,
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demographics
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and motivational profile
of these shooters,
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but minimize their names and images,
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unless they're at large.
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Two: limit the use of the shooter's name
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to once per piece,
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never in the headlines
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and no pictures in prominent locations.
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And three --
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Three.
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(Laughter)
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I'm not good with numbers.
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(Laughter)
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Refuse to publish
any self-serving material
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provided by the shooters.
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(Applause)
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To be clear:
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this is not an infringement
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on anyone's First Amendment rights.
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This is not censorship.
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We are merely asking the media
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to leverage guidelines
they already have in place.
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For example,
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the media does not report
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on journalists that have been kidnapped
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in order to protect them.
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The media does not report
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the names and images
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of victims of sexual assault or suicide.
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These responsible journalistic practices
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protect public safety
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with zero impact
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on the public's right to know.
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Academic studies show
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that the average news consumer
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wants to hear less about the shooters.
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Instead,
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the media should elevate
the names and images
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of the victims,
both murdered and injured,
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the heroes
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and the first responders.
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They should --
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(Applause)
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They should promote data and analysis
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from experts on the fields
of mental health and public safety.
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All the experts agree.
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The FBI,
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the International Police Association,
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the Major City Chiefs Association,
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and A.L.E.R.T.,
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the law enforcement organization
dedicated to training first responders
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to stop active shooters,
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all endorse the principles
of No Notoriety.
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In fact, in 2014,
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the FBI started the "Don't Name Them"
campaign in support of the idea.
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The American Psychiatric Association
supports reducing and minimizing
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the identification of these shooters.
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The idea has gone worldwide,
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with the Prime Minister of New Zealand
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calling for no notoriety
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after the Christchurch shootings.
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But as much as we want
the media to change,
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they are for-profit organizations.
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They won't change unless
we hold them accountable.
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(Applause)
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The media makes their money
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from advertising
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based on the number of viewers and clicks.
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If we can reduce the number
of viewers and clicks on any subject,
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the media will change
the way they report on it.
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So the next time you see
any media organization --
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print, digital, radio or television --
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gratuitously leveraging the names
and images of these shooters,
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stop watching,
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stop listening,
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stop clicking,
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stop liking
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and stop sharing.
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Write to the producers,
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editors, station managers, and CEOs
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of these news organizations.
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Take note of the advertisers
who support those segments
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and write to their CEOs.
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Because together,
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we can push the media
to act in the interest
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of public safety,
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not profits.
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It's too late for Alex,
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and it's too late for my family.
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But please don't join
our club by inaction,
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the club nobody wants to join.
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The due's too high.
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Because it's not too late
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for people who aren't victims yet.
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We have the power
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to reduce random mass shootings.
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Let's use it.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)