The Real Reason You're Circumcised - Adam Ruins Everything
-
0:00 - 0:03[MUSIC]
-
0:03 - 0:05Oh, yeah.
-
0:05 - 0:06Give it to me.
-
0:06 - 0:07Give it to me.
-
0:07 - 0:09Oh.
-
0:09 - 0:11[MUSIC]
-
0:11 - 0:12>> Hi there.
-
0:12 - 0:15>> [SOUND]
>> Oh, I see you're circumcised, but wait, -
0:15 - 0:16you're not Jewish or Muslim.
-
0:16 - 0:18So that's kind of strange,
don't you think? -
0:18 - 0:19>> What, no, it's normal.
-
0:19 - 0:21What?
>> Actually, it's not. -
0:21 - 0:22Hi.
-
0:22 - 0:23I'm Adam Conover.
-
0:23 - 0:24>> I remember you.
-
0:24 - 0:26>> Hi Adam.
>> And apart from those two religions, and -
0:26 - 0:30a few African tribes, America is actually
one of the only countries that practices -
0:30 - 0:33circumcision, yet
most of us don't even know why we do it. -
0:33 - 0:34Would you like to?
-
0:34 - 0:35>> Not right now, man.
-
0:35 - 0:37>> Oh, just get it over with.
-
0:37 - 0:44>> To learn more, let's go back in
time to the day you were circumcised. -
0:44 - 0:45>> God, no.
-
0:45 - 0:47>> [MUSIC]
-
0:47 - 0:50By the time your tip got snipped,
circumcision had been a tradition for -
0:50 - 0:52generations.
-
0:52 - 0:54>> Would you like to circumcise Brian?
-
0:54 - 0:55>> Yeah!
I guess. -
0:55 - 0:56I mean, his should look like mine, right?
-
0:56 - 0:57>> Okie Doke!
-
0:58 - 0:58>> No!
-
0:58 - 1:01>> But the source of that
tradition is real weird. -
1:01 - 1:03>> His should look like mine, right?
-
1:03 - 1:04>> His should look like mine, right?
-
1:04 - 1:05>> Yep, better cut him.
-
1:05 - 1:07I reckon it'll stop him from masturbating.
-
1:09 - 1:09>> What?
-
1:09 - 1:10>> Yep.
-
1:10 - 1:13The religious circumcision's been
practiced in the Middle East for -
1:13 - 1:16millennia, no one did it in
the west unless the sex phobic -
1:16 - 1:19days of the late 19th century,
when puritanical doctors -
1:19 - 1:23promoted it as a way to stop your kids
from committing their favorite sin. -
1:23 - 1:25>> Observe, the Vile Masturbator,
-
1:25 - 1:30the sallow complexion,
the rotten teeth, and the open sores. -
1:30 - 1:33>> Actually, I think I have syphilis.
-
1:33 - 1:35>> Syphilis, caused by masturbation.
-
1:35 - 1:38>> One prominent advocate
of dick docking was, and -
1:38 - 1:42I'm not making this up, John Harvey
Kellogg, the inventor of cornflakes. -
1:42 - 1:44>> My cure is two-fold.
-
1:44 - 1:46A diet rich in flaked corn.
-
1:46 - 1:47>> Mm.
-
1:47 - 1:49>> And cutting off part of the penis.
-
1:50 - 1:54>> Victorian prudes like Kellogg
just straight up hated sex, and -
1:54 - 1:57thought that by pruning your peter,
they could make it less pleasurable, -
1:57 - 2:00taming your base, lustful instincts.
-
2:00 - 2:03And you don't even wanna know what
they thought you should do to women. -
2:03 - 2:05>> Just apply a little carbolic acid
-
2:05 - 2:07to the clitoris
>> Yikes! -
2:07 - 2:09Thank God that one didn't catch on.
-
2:09 - 2:12>> [SOUND] All right everyone,
lets take a five. -
2:12 - 2:13>> This is stupid.
-
2:13 - 2:16Being circumcised doesn't
stop me from masturbating. -
2:16 - 2:19>> Yeah, I know that's why it's so
weird we still do it. -
2:19 - 2:21>> But, isn't it cleaner or something?
-
2:21 - 2:24>> No, maybe in biblical times
it helped to prevent infection, -
2:24 - 2:26but nowadays you can
just wash your dingus. -
2:26 - 2:30Circumcision has been found to somewhat
reduce the risk of HIV transmission, -
2:30 - 2:34but so do condoms, and they don't
require you to chop your dick off. -
2:34 - 2:37>> Okay, but foreskins are useless.
-
2:37 - 2:40>> Actually Brian, the foreskin
plays an important role in sex. -
2:40 - 2:44It's a natural lubricant,
contains millions of nerve endings, and -
2:44 - 2:46it protects the glans
from being desensitized. -
2:46 - 2:47>> Thanks Bert.
-
2:47 - 2:48>> You got it bud.
-
2:48 - 2:51But if you're uncircumcised,
girls will think your dick looks weird. -
2:51 - 2:52>> Oh, that's an interesting theory.
-
2:52 - 2:53Let's test it.
-
2:53 - 2:55Does this dick look weird?
-
2:55 - 2:56>> Yep.
-
2:56 - 2:57>> All right.
Does this dick look weird? -
2:57 - 2:58>> Yep.
-
2:58 - 3:00>> And does this dick look weird?
-
3:00 - 3:01>> Yeah.
-
3:01 - 3:02>> All dicks look weird.
-
3:04 - 3:04>> Thanks, man.
-
3:06 - 3:08>> Look,
if you like being circumcised, fine. -
3:08 - 3:10There's no harm in it but
there's also no benefit to it. -
3:10 - 3:13And the only reason you're
circumcised is because the 19th -
3:13 - 3:17century prude who invented Corn Flakes
was trying to ruin your sex life. -
3:17 - 3:20>> Oh well that didn't take long.
-
3:20 - 3:21Pick up where we left off.
-
3:23 - 3:24I'm not really in the mood anymore.
-
3:24 - 3:26>> Sounds like you won.
-
3:26 - 3:28Join me next time on
Adam Ruins Everything, -
3:28 - 3:31when I'll be talking about how what
you think are your cherished childhood -
3:31 - 3:35memories are just fictional
simulations created by your brain. -
3:35 - 3:36>> Get out.
-
3:36 - 3:39Please get out.
-
3:41 - 3:42>> Hey guys, thanks for watching.
-
3:42 - 3:43>> Please get out.
-
3:43 - 3:45>> If you liked that video
click me to subscribe. -
3:45 - 3:46>> Get out, get out.
-
3:46 - 3:47>> You know what?
-
3:47 - 3:48Why don't you just do it.
-
3:48 - 3:49>> Yeah, mess him up.
-
3:49 - 3:52>> Hit me, that'll get me to stop.
-
3:52 - 3:53>> I know, I know.
-
3:53 - 3:54>> You can't do it.
-
3:54 - 3:55>> I never played baseball before.
-
3:55 - 3:56>> Click on him and he might do it.
-
3:56 - 3:57No, he won't.
- Title:
- The Real Reason You're Circumcised - Adam Ruins Everything
- Description:
-
If You're Not Jewish, and You're Circumcised, You Need to Watch This Video.
See more http://www.collegehumor.com
LIKE us on: http://www.facebook.com/collegehumor
FOLLOW us on: http://www.twitter.com/collegehumor
FOLLOW us on: http://www.collegehumor.tumblr.comcast
Adam - Adam Conover
Murph - Brian Murphy
Emily - Emily Axford
Female Grip - Stevie Nelson
Female DP - Shannon Joy Rodgers
Teamster Bert - George Basil
Murph's Mom - Hannah Utt
Murph's Dad - Adam Lustick
Doctor - Ryan Gowland
Male Patient - Michael Cassady
John Kellogg - Dave Theune
Female Patient - Michele Santoro
crew
Director - Paul Briganti
Writer - Adam Conover
Brian Murphy
Producer - Jon Wolf
Cinematography - Matt Garrett
Editor - James Fitzpatrick
President of Original Content - Sam Reich
Vice President of Production / Executive Producer - Spencer Griffin
Director of Production - Sam Sparks
Director of Post Production - Michael Schaubach
Assistant Production Manager - Sam Kirkpatrick
Art Director - Caitlin Williams
Hair and Makeup - Nikki Marrone
Hair and Makeup Assistant - Kathleen Pardo
Script Supervisor - Jillian Terwedo
Production Coordinator - Michele Santoro
Sound Mixer - Stephen Harrod
1st Assistant Camera - Cate Smierciak
2nd AC/DIT - Jen O'Leary
Gaffer - Zack Savitz
Key Grip - Adam Goral
Best Boy Electric - Chris Faulkner
Best Boy Grip - J.D. Ramage
Wardrobe - Patrick Glendening
Post Production Supervisor - Evan Watkins
Post Production Coordinator - Andrew Mallonee
Head Assistant Editor - Phil Fox
Production Legal - Karen Segall
Production Accountant - Christine Rodriguez
Production Assistant - Devin Hassan
Intern - Julia Bales
Katie Marovitch
Scott Gallopo
Source - John Harvey Kellogg: Plain Facts for Old and Young
History of Male Circumcision - Wikipedia
A Surgical Temptation: The Demonization of the Foreskin and the Rise of Cir
The Wages of Sin: Sex and Disease, Past and Present, by Peter L. Allen - Video Language:
- English, British
- Duration:
- 03:57
![]() |
Joni Miller edited English subtitles for The Real Reason You're Circumcised - Adam Ruins Everything |