WEBVTT

00:00:00.266 --> 00:00:03.028
[MUSIC]

00:00:03.028 --> 00:00:05.100
Oh, yeah.

00:00:05.100 --> 00:00:05.855
Give it to me.

00:00:05.855 --> 00:00:07.422
Give it to me.

00:00:07.422 --> 00:00:08.537
Oh.

00:00:08.537 --> 00:00:10.778
[MUSIC]

00:00:10.778 --> 00:00:11.971
>> Hi there.

00:00:11.971 --> 00:00:14.868
>> [SOUND]
>> Oh, I see you're circumcised, but wait,

00:00:14.868 --> 00:00:16.355
you're not Jewish or Muslim.

00:00:16.355 --> 00:00:18.155
So that's kind of strange,
don't you think?

00:00:18.155 --> 00:00:19.465
>> What, no, it's normal.

00:00:19.465 --> 00:00:21.405
What?
>> Actually, it's not.

00:00:21.405 --> 00:00:21.935
Hi.

00:00:21.935 --> 00:00:22.965
I'm Adam Conover.

00:00:22.965 --> 00:00:23.625
>> I remember you.

00:00:23.625 --> 00:00:25.755
>> Hi Adam.
>> And apart from those two religions, and

00:00:25.755 --> 00:00:29.740
a few African tribes, America is actually
one of the only countries that practices

00:00:29.740 --> 00:00:32.940
circumcision, yet
most of us don't even know why we do it.

00:00:32.940 --> 00:00:33.760
Would you like to?

00:00:33.760 --> 00:00:34.890
>> Not right now, man.

00:00:34.890 --> 00:00:36.910
>> Oh, just get it over with.

00:00:36.910 --> 00:00:44.199
>> To learn more, let's go back in
time to the day you were circumcised.

00:00:44.199 --> 00:00:45.360
>> God, no.

00:00:45.360 --> 00:00:46.834
>> [MUSIC]

00:00:46.834 --> 00:00:50.176
By the time your tip got snipped,
circumcision had been a tradition for

00:00:50.176 --> 00:00:51.710
generations.

00:00:51.710 --> 00:00:53.680
>> Would you like to circumcise Brian?

00:00:53.680 --> 00:00:54.700
>> Yeah!
I guess.

00:00:54.700 --> 00:00:56.240
I mean, his should look like mine, right?

00:00:56.240 --> 00:00:56.740
>> Okie Doke!

00:00:57.960 --> 00:00:58.460
>> No!

00:00:58.460 --> 00:01:01.080
>> But the source of that
tradition is real weird.

00:01:01.080 --> 00:01:02.620
>> His should look like mine, right?

00:01:02.620 --> 00:01:04.209
>> His should look like mine, right?

00:01:04.209 --> 00:01:05.080
>> Yep, better cut him.

00:01:05.080 --> 00:01:07.299
I reckon it'll stop him from masturbating.

00:01:08.630 --> 00:01:09.210
>> What?

00:01:09.210 --> 00:01:09.900
>> Yep.

00:01:09.900 --> 00:01:12.735
The religious circumcision's been
practiced in the Middle East for

00:01:12.735 --> 00:01:15.710
millennia, no one did it in
the west unless the sex phobic

00:01:15.710 --> 00:01:18.750
days of the late 19th century,
when puritanical doctors

00:01:18.750 --> 00:01:22.890
promoted it as a way to stop your kids
from committing their favorite sin.

00:01:22.890 --> 00:01:25.420
>> Observe, the Vile Masturbator,

00:01:25.420 --> 00:01:30.320
the sallow complexion,
the rotten teeth, and the open sores.

00:01:30.320 --> 00:01:32.760
>> Actually, I think I have syphilis.

00:01:32.760 --> 00:01:35.140
>> Syphilis, caused by masturbation.

00:01:35.140 --> 00:01:37.700
>> One prominent advocate
of dick docking was, and

00:01:37.700 --> 00:01:42.090
I'm not making this up, John Harvey
Kellogg, the inventor of cornflakes.

00:01:42.090 --> 00:01:43.890
>> My cure is two-fold.

00:01:43.890 --> 00:01:45.790
A diet rich in flaked corn.

00:01:45.790 --> 00:01:46.960
>> Mm.

00:01:46.960 --> 00:01:48.940
>> And cutting off part of the penis.

00:01:50.180 --> 00:01:54.230
>> Victorian prudes like Kellogg
just straight up hated sex, and

00:01:54.230 --> 00:01:57.180
thought that by pruning your peter,
they could make it less pleasurable,

00:01:57.180 --> 00:01:59.840
taming your base, lustful instincts.

00:01:59.840 --> 00:02:03.250
And you don't even wanna know what
they thought you should do to women.

00:02:03.250 --> 00:02:05.430
>> Just apply a little carbolic acid

00:02:05.430 --> 00:02:07.070
to the clitoris
>> Yikes!

00:02:07.070 --> 00:02:08.705
Thank God that one didn't catch on.

00:02:08.705 --> 00:02:12.091
>> [SOUND] All right everyone,
lets take a five.

00:02:12.091 --> 00:02:12.972
>> This is stupid.

00:02:12.972 --> 00:02:16.120
Being circumcised doesn't
stop me from masturbating.

00:02:16.120 --> 00:02:18.800
>> Yeah, I know that's why it's so
weird we still do it.

00:02:18.800 --> 00:02:21.320
>> But, isn't it cleaner or something?

00:02:21.320 --> 00:02:23.950
>> No, maybe in biblical times
it helped to prevent infection,

00:02:23.950 --> 00:02:26.210
but nowadays you can
just wash your dingus.

00:02:26.210 --> 00:02:29.600
Circumcision has been found to somewhat
reduce the risk of HIV transmission,

00:02:29.600 --> 00:02:34.330
but so do condoms, and they don't
require you to chop your dick off.

00:02:34.330 --> 00:02:37.290
>> Okay, but foreskins are useless.

00:02:37.290 --> 00:02:40.480
>> Actually Brian, the foreskin
plays an important role in sex.

00:02:40.480 --> 00:02:43.860
It's a natural lubricant,
contains millions of nerve endings, and

00:02:43.860 --> 00:02:46.160
it protects the glans
from being desensitized.

00:02:46.160 --> 00:02:46.930
>> Thanks Bert.

00:02:46.930 --> 00:02:47.726
>> You got it bud.

00:02:47.726 --> 00:02:50.590
But if you're uncircumcised,
girls will think your dick looks weird.

00:02:50.590 --> 00:02:51.793
>> Oh, that's an interesting theory.

00:02:51.793 --> 00:02:53.128
Let's test it.

00:02:53.128 --> 00:02:54.626
Does this dick look weird?

00:02:54.626 --> 00:02:55.590
>> Yep.

00:02:55.590 --> 00:02:57.110
>> All right.
Does this dick look weird?

00:02:57.110 --> 00:02:57.889
>> Yep.

00:02:57.889 --> 00:03:00.025
>> And does this dick look weird?

00:03:00.025 --> 00:03:01.128
>> Yeah.

00:03:01.128 --> 00:03:02.180
>> All dicks look weird.

00:03:03.890 --> 00:03:04.390
>> Thanks, man.

00:03:05.500 --> 00:03:07.820
>> Look,
if you like being circumcised, fine.

00:03:07.820 --> 00:03:10.330
There's no harm in it but
there's also no benefit to it.

00:03:10.330 --> 00:03:13.320
And the only reason you're
circumcised is because the 19th

00:03:13.320 --> 00:03:17.460
century prude who invented Corn Flakes
was trying to ruin your sex life.

00:03:17.460 --> 00:03:19.780
>> Oh well that didn't take long.

00:03:19.780 --> 00:03:21.350
Pick up where we left off.

00:03:22.630 --> 00:03:24.270
I'm not really in the mood anymore.

00:03:24.270 --> 00:03:25.920
>> Sounds like you won.

00:03:25.920 --> 00:03:28.410
Join me next time on
Adam Ruins Everything,

00:03:28.410 --> 00:03:31.270
when I'll be talking about how what
you think are your cherished childhood

00:03:31.270 --> 00:03:35.460
memories are just fictional
simulations created by your brain.

00:03:35.460 --> 00:03:36.276
>> Get out.

00:03:36.276 --> 00:03:39.155
Please get out.

00:03:40.861 --> 00:03:42.370
>> Hey guys, thanks for watching.

00:03:42.370 --> 00:03:42.870
>> Please get out.

00:03:42.870 --> 00:03:45.190
>> If you liked that video
click me to subscribe.

00:03:45.190 --> 00:03:46.090
>> Get out, get out.

00:03:46.090 --> 00:03:46.810
>> You know what?

00:03:46.810 --> 00:03:48.040
Why don't you just do it.

00:03:48.040 --> 00:03:49.270
>> Yeah, mess him up.

00:03:49.270 --> 00:03:51.830
>> Hit me, that'll get me to stop.

00:03:51.830 --> 00:03:52.750
>> I know, I know.

00:03:52.750 --> 00:03:53.690
>> You can't do it.

00:03:53.690 --> 00:03:54.690
>> I never played baseball before.

00:03:54.690 --> 00:03:56.070
>> Click on him and he might do it.

00:03:56.070 --> 00:03:56.570
No, he won't.