Adını Feriha Koydum 56.Bölüm

emir I won't to get out

you won't get out

what do you mean, you won't get out ya!! come to your sense now

I am with my sense like never before

leave this

are you sick are you maniac

I ow you one phone, and for myself to

emir look you will open this door. emir you will open this door

feriha we wont get out of here, until everything is spoken and solved this door will not be opened

who do you think you are. You bring me here forcefully. Your looking the door on me. Your breaking my phone. And I will sit here and wait because your not letting right. You really don't know me. At all. At all

I know you really well. I know you really that I can't speak with you in any other ways.

so you looked me here because of myself. Because Like always I didn't leave you any other chance. You can't talk to me like this either emir. I will get out of this house. Either the door or the window.

hop hop stop stop.

let go let go.

if you wont be quite until the morning. The more your quite the longer it will last. How many hours has it been you haven't spoken. When their is someone in front of me, talking to myself its weird

Look not because I am angry but if you continue to be silent like this and I will continue to be silly. Here we can stay for days. If you really wanna go from here, one way or the other you have to talk with me feriha

Okay you know it. You have lots of time. Anyways your in front of me, I won't complain for your quietness.

get in here

what are you doing, what difference left for you from halil.

your right, maybe I don't have any difference left.

you can't hold me here emir.

feriha until you talk we are going to stay here.

what am I going to talk with you. What am I doing talk about. What can be talk with you. Okay, halil is Ill. What's happening to you. What explanation do you have.

I don't have a explanation. I am doing what comes inside me

you will pay for this, when I get out of here I will complain on you. Whatever is the punishment for this you will get it.

feriha if I finally talk with you, you can be sure that I won't complain about the punishment and get it.

are you really aware of what your doing. How long do you think this will last. For how long more can you hold me here

i told this many times, until we talk about everything.

with you like this what do you think I will talk with you. If you speak am I doing to listen to you. I will never listen to you.

then you will not get out of here until you listen feriha.

how did your eye froze like this.

how, do you won't me to explain it.

I don't wont it

my eye froze, because my wife not even once listened to me. Because my wife allowed all those rumors.

o the rumors. Of course what else could it be. Again your only problem is your ego right? Your ego is only on the rumors because their is no other things to talk about right.

their is their is lots of things to talk about. If you won't let's start from the ending. For example let's talk about your rumor with levent.

again levent bay isn't it. You more poorer(weak) than those girls who open the rumors.

my only weakness is you feriha.

me. Who am I. What am I. Who am i next to Your charisma ego that shouldn't be hurt that shouldn't be scratch.

my charisma is not my ego. For example my heart. Understand it.

Don't you dare say my heart. Don't you dare.

You didnt bring me here to talk, you brought me here because you couldn't handle the rumors.

Emir sarrafoglus wife has left the house, she staying in the campus. And with levent bay her name is out. Your problem is not to speak with me, it's to stop the rumors.

my only problem is to end this Meaningless thing

bringing me here is meaningless. You thinking this will work is meaningless. You simply brought your wife to her house that's all. You closed everyone's mouth you didn't have any other aims anyways

because of stupid silly rumors you couldn't close your ears and you locked me in the house.

Until everyone closes there mouth and forget the ridiculesness about levent bay. You holding me here what will happen later. Then what will happeb? When you open that door what will happen emir.

until we understand each other I won't open the door.

do you care about understaning. Okay come let's talk about the rumors, in witch one do you believe more.

Me dumping you because or levent bay or that I had secret relationship from the start.

Oh excuse me I am not supposed to carry on any further or I will get another slap

I will never slap (hit) you again, say whatever you want to me, do whatever you won't to me , I will never slap you.

I don't believe you, if you were a little regret after that also you wouldn't have brought me here like this

for bringing you here I won't be sorry feriha. You didn't leave me chance.

you are not just rough you are also insincere. You don't listen to anything you don't won't to. Look your doing the same thing again. That night you made me silent with a slap. And now your using my name to make others silent

yes if those rumors didn't appear i would have waited unntil my patient run out.

If I had not heard those rumors that I heard today I wouldn't have brought you here

I would have locked you here

may be i would not have done all this..

we wont talk about rumors.. we will talk about what rumors did to us

us. Does it becomes more easy for you to say us. You can't say us. you did it. You destroyed everything by yourself. With my lies that we couldn't destroy, you destroyed it with That women and with that sla

yes I destroyed it. come on continue say whatever you have inside you. this what we need we need to talk about these. We need to start from somewhere

your right we need to start with somewhere let's start with our bedroom.

Changing the bedroom is an excellent thing right.

how elegant. With a wallpapers we should fool ourselves.

Changing everything but these walls you can't change it. Wallpapers a great thought.

They were here when I came to you for one night. While you were getting revenge for everything with that women they were here. Even when you hide it you can't erase it.

es I can't erase it but you erase but you cant erase the reason why that women was here.

Yes that women was a mistake but you know how much i say sorry that women was just not my mistake it was your mistake also feriha

Because of the lies you told me the women is both of our mistakes.

to make yourself clean a cheep excuse

it's cheep or not you know it's true, that's why when I said sorry in the mountain house and you said you were sorry too. Now don't deny this.

do you know what that women told me. She told me that I won't be able to know what you told her or what you experienced with her that night. I don't know but I am curious really

. Do you remember the night you passed with that women. Or were you really drunk that you dont remember anything.

For example what did you guys talk? Or did you guys talk? Of course you guys talked. What did you say to her.?

Her eyes, her hairs for example did you talk it . While kissing her did you close your eyes? How did you kissed her? Like how you kissed me? With affection? Or was it more attractive?

like this I kissed her

don't do this ever again

for giving me response back (for kissing him back) you know you response back to me (you know you kissed me back

really silly

Look, right now both of us are not normal. We can't talk with this head. Okay we need to talk I accept this to. But it can't happen like this. I need to calm down. I need to me ready to tell you something.

Emir I won't to get out of here. I don't won't to be more ugly. Now your going to open the door. I will go to campus. We will forget this maniac

For a couple of days we won't get together. then we will meet outside we will talk everything okay.

it's not okay.

what does it mean it's not okay

feriha I know you, you will get out of this door and you will do anything to not meet with me again. By yourself your will thing by yourself you will give a decision.

I know myself to wherever you go I will again find you and bring you here. For that we don't need to loss anytime.

you will open that door even if you won't to or not emir. This silliness will not continue like this. Can you hear me. I will be free from this silliness. Or you will let me go like a human, I will go

. For a couple of days I will try to for get how crazy you went. Or I will open that door and I will never for get this.

You won't even give answer.

I am crazy for talking to you like a human. Crazy. Okay. Let's me infamous okay

to hole apartment to everyone let's be infamous. Let's see who will be first disturbed by the noises. Ahh who is their down stairs

miss sanem. For who first are we going to be infamous. If you have good luck we would be first infamous to my dad,

because they are used to their dad being kidnapped.

emir

bravo, candle light, romantic. Your great.

candle light. For sure is more silent.

it's more lying that's why. You can't see the mess around it. You can hide the truth. You can push it back. But you can't make them disappear. When you enter here in the morning it will again will be same.

uh uh yes maybe it will be same.

But we will not be same. We would already have listen to each other.

that night did you light the candles like this too. Say it did you set this great set for your revenge

no

ahh what a rudeness. It didn't suit for your handsomeness like the nightsboy. But excuse me it had no meaning to it. Right.

It didn't worth to waste your candles.

no it had meaning Feiha. But it had meaning because you made that women excited. That nights only meaning was you. It was to hurt you.

I was trying to prove myself that I could disappear you and choosing one women's body and tried to return to my old life \

silly

you until you said if I did it

dont you dare to talk about this

not in the mountain house, not when I learned I was being dad, not when what did that night. I haven't faced it until you said those words.

you faced it really good emir. I asked you only one question for you to understand me. I got the exact answer that I ever got in my life

that was not an answer.

you were different you knew it. You knew you were different. I was not only in love with you. I trusted you, after the lies.

With all the punishments you gave me you still trusted me. You were peace, no matter what happens.

feriha

I will forget most of the things that belong to that night. Your weakness, your hypocritical, your fear, the rudeness you did

, I will forget how my heart(body) hurt. But one thing, I will never forget how you disappointment me.

I won't forget it either. How I lost control of myself, your eyes, I will not forget a moment the way you looked at me when you were getting out of that door.

were you looking different when you where taking out of campus. Where you looking different when I was fired from work. Their is nothing that has changed in you. Your still hypocritical. Your still scared.

yes, I am still scared. I was scared about the thing you told me that night. This time I am scared about your quietness.

But I am always scared of one thing. Since you entered my life the same thing is this. I am scared to loss you.

where was your fear when you were making (because of the slap) go from this house. You didn't had it because we were married that's it right.

I didnt saw marriage like our secure .

from mehmet my dad from gulsum you have no difference from them. Whatever the marriage is for them for you is same

you really don't believe the things your saying. You know I don't deserve this.

prove that you don't deserve this. Answer the question that I asked that night.

Come on, can you give an answer, what if I made you life the things that you made me live

How much of the trust will you expect from me

What a stupid question isn't it. Is a question that I already know.

its a question that I don't know the answer feriha.

lie

no really I don't know the answer. If you were together with that man just to get revenge from me.

e. I don't know if I was going to kill that me, or leave, or I wouldn't won't to see your face I don't know. But I now only one thing

Even if I don't forgive you even if I didn't wont to see your face it wasn't going tone over. And now it's not going to be Over did you heard me.

Look I have you the answer for you. Come you know give an answer to. Is it over

you can't do this, even days you hold me here I won't say the thing you won't to her.

then say the things that I don't won't to hear. Say the things that I scared to hear. You know what I am scared to hear about. All of them is at the edge of your tongue.

Since the first day I fell in love with you, the things that collapse me on the floor, and the things that brings me up the floor, everything is at re edge of your tongue.

if you hadn't slap me holding yourself for the things that came out of the edge of my tongue. Yes maybe I would have believed the things you said.

when i slapped you

don't, please don't tell me the same story I don't believe it. For bringing me here from campus like this I won't believe anything you said and your regret

it's jot same thing

same thing. The thing you do For me to speak, for me to be silent is always the same.

look, if you had gives me one chance without speaking like persistence.

persistence. You understand it like this right. Dry persistence. For you I am like this. Going to campus. Starting to work, no being ready to talk with you, this are all because I am persistence. To make you regret I am being persistence, it's that simple.

it's not simple. Okay I said many times. But the thing that I did was not simple either.

Okay is it really hard like this feriha. Is it that impossible. When you are forgiving everyone in your life that has tortured you

Cansu, you were telling about forgiving Cansu, is it that hard for you to forgive me for loosing myself.

Tell me. How many times did you forgave your dad, how many times did you forgive mehmet.

I don't care how many times I forgiven them. You were not one of them emir. The way I saw scared from them I won't be scared from you. Did you heard me. I wont be scared from you

is your only way to turn your back on me so you won't be scared.

you said to me You had strength. When you slapped me your saying you didn't had strength. But why when I was holding your hand out off all thing you lost to your own strength.

Or the problem was this. Me being next to you no Matter what. Is this what your strength was not enough for.

everything came on the top of other. I always did the same thing. My life's biggest mistakes I did when ever I felt weak in front of you. And all the mistakes that was going on was to crash you

maybe you waited for me to give up. Maybe you wonted this. If I had turn my back and left it would have been more easy for you. You couldn't Handle me staying next to you.

This made you feel more guilty. When I was not running away you wonted to runaway from me and yourself. You felt more less strength.

Because for the first time you destroyed everything right. I never felt I wasn't important at all as I was getting out of here. I fooled you one year, I didn't feel I was fooled this much.

Because next to you nothing would have happen to me. Next to you no one could have hurt me. I was protected next to you. Until that nigh I am not trusting you.

you will again trust me, the way that I trusted you again you will trust me too. whatever I say now you won't believe me

I could show this to you this will never happen again if you only stay next to me feriha. stay next to me.

. Feriha please stay next to me.

I won't stay. I won't stay. I will never forget that you bought me here forcefully. I won't trust you. You can't make me forget anything. Look at my face.

The mark that was on my lip is gone right. Like nothing has happened. Like the other mistake that we are trying to make it disappear but that is here too

. Now forcefully your trying to talk with me. That night didn't try to talk with me. you slapped me... You didnt speak you slappe

come you do the same thing

emir what are you doing

hit, hit me

emir what are you doing, let it go!!!

enough look at us. Did everything got out its shape this much. Did we lost ourselves this much

I don't won't to loss each other. I don't care how much I lost control of myself I don't won't to loss you

is this how we going to gain each other, like this stuck between the 4 walls hitting each other. Like By force speaking by force listing.

I am just trying, now understand me now I don't know what to do. Maybe I am totally being silly, maybe my head is not working but without trying I won't let you. I won't let you go until I do everything to gain to feriha.

I am sitting in the leaving room, I won't open my mouth emir. Either go and sit on your room or don't even make one word.

i'm bound to you, you can't know

i keep your name in my mind like a nail

your eyes get bigger and bigger

i'm bound to you, you can't know

i'm warming me inside with you

to love is sometimes sordidly frightening

one gets tired suddenly at a nightfall

because of living in captivity at the mouth of a razor

sometimes his passion breaks his hands
extracts several lives from his life

sometimes whichever door he knocks
a naughty humming of loneliness behind it
whenever i think of a life

maybe it's hard in this table of wolves

shameless, but without soiling our hands
whenever i think of a life

saying "be quiet" i'm beginning with your name
your secret seas are moving through me inside

no, it won't be any other way
i am bound to you, you can't know

Atenla inlan believed in love like this, didn't we believed it.

it's the time for being silent is right.

I won't gift you for locking me I here. You will see I didn't work

you know what I am seeing do you know. Your going crazy to speak but holding yourself for stubborn for me bring you here and it's working

. Okay if you wonted like this let it be like this. Let's be quite. The more we are silent the more it will last anyways.

you will burn your hand

allow to burn

and I was waiting when you were going to hold yourself on something

do you know, right now I am in peace like I never have for long time

are you trying to make me go crazy.

we both look crazy enough

what are you doing what are you doing move.

turn on these lights now now I can't see my way.

look at this,

feriha even when you burn this house and destroy it until we talk and solve everything you will not get out of this house. Making me crazy yourself your still here.

witch one made you crazy. Me or the dad fear. Or the moneyless. That night when you threw money to seher was that your last money.

no, I am looking for work.

your not (she says something I don't understand)

your mad because I didn't told you.

of course I am mad. Look at us, you even pulled the money between us. Dont I know that your dad is punishing you with money.

feriha can't you still understand, the problem is not money. It's despair.

isn't your mom and your dad is saying that I am after your money for months. When you learned my lies didn't you slapped me with money. Didn't you really that I was after your money.

I won't even answer for what you asked. I can't believe that you can't trust me this much.

your the one who doesn't trust me. Excuse me I was a lier wasn't I. You have a reason for to not trust me.

do you know, like a donkey I tried to forget those lies. I tried to erase it. I tried to leave it behind us. But just because you still feel the guiltiness of lying in each time you hug on them.

Everything was really bad. The only thing that I could have changed was this house.

But I couldn't do this either. Couldn't Do anything it was like sitting watching you what I made you live. I couldn't watch it, you can't know what this mean.

I cans understand you because I am a women. I can't understand you because I never had money.

If you had explained it I would have known. At least I would have tried to understand but you didn't even give a chance.

I felt like I was r enough. This much

which one is not enough. When you won't you can ride the helicopter. Working like a normal person.

not abeling to take you iut of this apartment is not enough. Not baling to help your dad is not enough].

. That man when he was doing hero and I couldn't do anything is not enought

what kind of restless is this. Put this I your head emir. If you had money like the old times I I mean us not wont it you couldn't help my dad. I was looking at your eyes.

I wonted to come over it together over it. Why would have happened if you said my money is finished. Not that women but was the money going to destroy me.

my only problem was not to open a problem over a problem. Because of seher ruya when you said your buying people, what could I have said. Am I supposed to say now I don't have money to buy people.

when levent bay payed money for my day you won't crazy. That moment you didn't even talk about money. When your angry I handle your impoliteness.

i was not impoliteness. But while I was staying I couldn't handle that man helping you. Okay if it selfishness its selfishness, I know it. But I can not remove anything about that men.

why are you giving more value to levent bay emir

don't be kidding you the one who is giving him a value. For being able to talk to him, for being able to reach you, do you understand

from the very beginning my talks with levent bay was always to do with you. You, my feelings for you, would you experienced.

I would talk about you. If you had listen to me from the start. If we could have talked, mr levent bay wouldn't have existed

feriha don't do it, that man was in your lies. Okay blame me for everything, but don't blame me for making him your friend.

You and the distances between him, you never turned your back on him.

: I will never Turn my back on mr levent the way you won't me to. I owe my life to him.

what does that suppose to mean.

it means he saved my life.

You Came to listen to Cansu about me, and I saw you going up the stairs.

There was nothing lest for me to lose (in my life) I went to the boat, I was pulling up water for cleaning, I heard your voice,

I heard the poem you told me in the Islam. As of your voice was flowing from the water

feriha what did you do

I simply left myself to that voice in the flow of the water. I was so much in peace then. All the pains losses, fears they all stayed far away from me. Later mr levent pulled me upstairs. From the under.

feriha

okay dont hug or touch I don't need consolation.

it's not consoling, it's not for consolation, it's to feel. Please don't detach yourself. I could have lost you, losing you.\

Feriha how did you do this. What if something had happened to you, what If you didn't exist right now?

right now, because of thr thing that happened months ago weakness we wont be hug each other it's not that easy.

rift now what state were in what state were going to be in, I really don't care,

I want to hug you, 5 minutes ago I didn't wont something different, five minutes. 5 days five years later I don't anything different from then this

don't do this emir, don't do this, we passed these, don't you understand this. We cant continue as if nothing has happened.

feriha I am not trying to do this, I swear this is not my goal aim

take a look at us, when we come closer to each other this what happens. We solve we wave then later we turn to the beginning, later we turn to were we were. Don't you see this.

feriha what are you doing

I will get out of here, I swear I will get out of here.

feriha leave that knife

then give the keys let me open it

don't be silly you can't open the door with a knife

fine then while I am trying to open the door I will cut my hands

let go that isn't a toy

emir, give the keys then

look that isn't a toy, feriha let go of it

emir, it's bleeding are you okay

did anything happen to you

nothing happened to me \

emir this is bleeding really badly.

Come on get up we are going to the hospital right now

we are not going anywhere

emir it's not stopping do you won't to die.

even if I die I won't open the door feriha.

have you gone mad. Come on get up we are going. Emir look at this cut. You will die because of your stubbornness

look who is talking about stubbornness

where are those keys?

don't look for it it's not on me. I hid it you can't find it

emir I am telling you your going to die

if I die, I will die, I won't open the door feriha

okay let it be like that, like this in front of me lose your blood and die.

Emir I am begging you give me the keys. Where did you hide it.

there is the dental floss in the bathroom

dental floss?

find a needle, it's in the bedroom probably

emir don't be ridicules what will I do with them

haven't you ever sewn in your life before.

are you ill? This is crazy I can't see your arm.

then you can watch me die Because we are not going out of here.

god damn you, you have gone out of your mind.

Don't you dare to move.

I have really made you crazy.

did you just understand this. You made me crazy and stabbed me

I didn't stab you.

Don't Move around now stop.

Does it hurts a lot.

what do you think?

I hate you, I really I hate you

you love me a lot. You have gone crazy like me and love me a lot.

your stupid, you stupid! I will never forget this.

ou know it really well, before you their was no one in my life. Not only in my life. In my mind, in my heart their was no one before.

Without boing what relationship means I crushed on you. Maybe lots of things happened

because I did had experience it before. Lies on one side, other mistakes, all of them was because I didn't know how to live

I knew it, the women, living with them, of course until you messed up my memorization. Look your trying didn't even saved me.

did ever fallen love before falling for me.

love entered my life with you feriha you know this really well feriha.

so, except for one night relationship didn't you had a long relationship.

Don't be funny emir, I not able to solves today's I won't care about the old one. since we are talking like this, let's talk something outside us.

Okay, their was someone. It was more than one night but it was not love. Maybe it was just for fun.

so it was someone who you were mostly with.

yes

what was her name

ece

don't tell me we are ending the night

this much from me, if you want you can continue

are you going leave me between the worms.

i know you can handle it.

but tonight I have a surprise I told you

what surprise

you don't deserve this surprise but

what did you do

I found a easier way to end the worms behind me

our relationship was not emotional it was only for fun feriha.

fun, she wrote your name huh. Since she wrote your name she believed it a lot

I don't think so, I don't think she took to serious about tattoo either. She didn't used to hate life serious. She just used to live

I think she hurt your heart

no, no one couldn't do this even ece but you.

even ece. How long did it last

1 year then I got bored of night life and she started not having fun like before

did she cheat on you

yes

did you got hurt

I got mad for being cheated but my whole I didn't get hurt by no one but you feriha

even if you didn't get hurt, in one she cheated. Is this way you don't trust people

I don't trust people?

maybe after all the lies I say I might be the last person to say it but, yes you don't trust people.

Even the closest, ignore me when we got on magazine with koray you didn't trust him.

don't even trust your dad. You know this word do you. I learned to jot trust my dad when I was really small. If your a kid, if you can't even trust your dad you won't know who to trust.

But if you don't trust your mom either then when you grow up you can't trust anyone

are you saying this because thy divorced,

I am saying this because they both through this to me.

you don't won't to talk or you don't won't to remember.

the time makes people forget everything but not childhood. Your mom and dad when your small they put their signature.

And if you won't to or not you will be carrying what they lived even if you dont won't to. Look I am caring it to. And a lot. To you, even to koray.

days you lived most with your dad, you must have a host picture too.

yes their was host, do you know their was actually a signature of the host. a signature that was written with my dads pen.

my leg hurts dad

go tell your host sister

zeynep sister

I cough emir while he was getting money from your pocket

what, son are you stilling money from my pocket huh. My heir from his pocket is still money. Did your mom tough you at home like this. doesn't your stepdad gives you money.

I didn't do it dad she did it, zeynep sister got the money's

look and lying right way be sorry to your sister

I am not a thief and I am not a lier and I won't be sorry I am right

: your right do to your room until your sorry to your zeynep sister you won't get out. Is that why your mom throwed you

you said to me not bad human but bad dad. I am sorry but he is more than bad dad, he doesn't has respect

lets say he loves women a lot. My dad and women. They were always part of my childhood.

and my childhoods part was my mom and women. Like I said my childhood passed going to the places were my mom went to clean. Of course the most in cansus house.

no touching feriha. My dad got this for me being a real Princes and only real princes can touch this house

please let me touch once

you can't touch it because your not real princes

your not real princes either, your dad has fooled you. And the princess only happens in stories.

will go and Ask my mom, look you will see she will say it to that I am a real princess.
-

say something to feriha mom, she say you dad is fooling you

come on without fight share it Cansu

look mom look she braked it.

it was accident I swear it was by an accident

no you did it on purpose I know it. Because your not princess.

Cansu we will repair it if it doesn't works we will get new one. Come on don't hurt your friend, she wont's to play too. Feriha you go home to now. The cleaning is over anyways your mom is waiting for you at home. Go

my dad said it he said don't play with doorkeepers daughter.

maybe she was right, without noticing I was jealous of her

feriha you were only a kid.

I wasn't just a kid. I was doorkeepers daughter. It's like if your door keeps daughter your different.

ometimes I found an anger inside my past today the thing I lived and didn't everything. I find everything to find anger. Then something happens I could forgive everyone one at a time. Even Cansu.

Except you. It's like I can't only forgive you. I can't forgive you because none of them Hirt my feeling like you did. Yes I got slap from my dad he have the hardes punishments

Mehmet did everything to get remove me from being his sister. Cansu tried to kill us. But none of then broke my hear like you did

I could understand you more than before. I lived the same thing to. When I was trying to get over the lies for many times

I thought I couldn't forgive you. then I came to a situation everday i got up forgiving you,

then I slept hating you.

I am really mad at you, the anger inside does not looks like anything else.

feriha I am mad at myself to. Believe me before I haven't hurt anyone more than that.

we were making it. How couldn't I see this. Great fear. Worry, whatever the bend is, how couldn't see what we did. We were us.

i know

if you know it say it. Why did you ruined it. Why did you wonted happen like this.

I didn't wont it, one moment

one moment, made all of our parts disappear. Like we never lived it. The days we were in metals hand(halil), the mountain house, Ada. You erased all the test that we gave.

you cant runway

emir please let me go please

do you remember how you touched me. So this why I won't let you go. We need the strength that we gave each othe

I passed my good and bad days with you.

say the one that comes to your mind first

helicopter, first one came to my head

did I wake you up

I didn't feel it at all

how did that happened

because of the small red shoes.

explain it

you really won't is to talk without non stop

count the times that we haven't spoke

that moment their was nothing that I wonted but those red shoes. I really wonted you soo much, even the first days when I was running away from you.

i hurt you like the shoes didn't I

if you do this again

if I do what again, if I kiss you

you just kissed me so I won't speak out.

yes. It was good one

emir ita enough now we were crazy now it's over you will open thy door I will get out quietly.

feriha I won't open the door

emir we talked whole night

we talked and

and what? one night sitting are we going to solve everything.

Your right we still didnt solve everything. And maybe we didnt solve anything. Look another reason not to open the door. Breakfast

breakfast

breakfast

their is only eggs and cheese if you won't we can do omelette

what are you doing

I drink all of them. if you don't open the door, I will die squirmy squirmy.

feriha come on

let go

feriha come you will throw it out.

emir let go

you will throw it out

let me go I won't throw up

can you put water in this

am I going to set breakfast with you.

your stomach is empty you need to eat something.

I won't eat anything

ok

emir are you trying to make me crazy. It's like nothing has happened its like we didn't do anything to each other. Now sitting are we going to eat breakfast.

You don't need to eat breakfast

but I have to stay here until your board. Emir until when. How long will this maniac will last. Look your arm, germs will get in.

come on lets go from here.... lets got to doctor...then i will go to campus

Now you can't hear my voice. You can't hear this either.

Look emir they will worry about us.

They might think something happened and enter the house. Emir can you hear me

they will see nothing happened to me and go back

emir the thing your doing is like kids game. It won't work at all. Emir can you hear me.

really doesn't it has any meanings that we talked about it until the Morning. It didn't work at all.

emir it won't work. Really it won't work.

okay we will see

ya now you closed me here like this. Like a kid toy your playing it.

their is no game feriha. We are here your here. Until it works we won't get out

you want to play?

now play it alone by yourself then.

feriha open this door

i won't open it, let's see who is going to make it more silly

look your the one who changes to game.

you wonted like this.

feriha I won't stubborn with you.

if you wont me to open the door you have to open the out door.

which one are you more scared of, speaking or listening. Say it from witch one are you running an bidding

maybe I am scared that I can't trust you. Maybe I am sacred that I can't see respect

don't be scared then. I not telling something that I don't feel.

I dont care what you feel.

Because you don't know what I feel. Not even once you took it serious.

I didn't hear a bigger lie than this.

you took it serious when others did it to me. You didn't take it serious of what you did to me. It's easier to hide other pain right

don't do it how much hurt you got I got the same.

if once if you aware of what you did to me right now we wouldn't be here.

You wouldn't close me to the house that broke me a lot

a house that broke you.

Okay go the old days as much as you wont. What is this house now

Is it the house that I came here to destroy you. The one night I said is that house,

the house that I made your mom cleaned up

emir be quite be quite

i won be quite, you won't be quite either

Which house is this

Is it the house that I made you cry ...is it the house that I made you cry

Get out of here an tell me

your telling this so I will be mad and get out of here. This how much important I am to you. This how much my feelings are important.

because of your stubborn your not opening the door so you could pursed out and yell at me.

Explain what you feel, not to build a relationship, it's for me to give up.

you are talking nonsense

feriha move from the back of the door

I am not behind the door, retard

feriha move I said,

get out

their was no need to hide behind that door. What's that door to block us.

okay then why did you break the door

because I cant handle it. I can't handle the things you pull between us

I didnt had it either, that's why no matter what happened I wanted to stay next to you. You didn't even though why this really meant to me.

I couldn't think, first time in my life I can't think

you still can't say it clearly, you can't say I couldn't handle you staying next to me. No matter what happened when I was holding you hand you cant say you felt weak.

maybe the problem is not just madness feriha. I was really bad at myself for everything to come over one another, To you the things I mead I leave.

For example I didn't deserved to hold your hands. Maybe I couldn't find the strength to go and hold your hand. I pushed you

know what changed. Why know are you trying to hold my hand. By force

it's like years before, but it was one year ago

I was trying to solve you,, I told koray she has something it's pushing and pulling.

Maybe this is te thing between us. We are pushing. Then we pull back each other.

you asked what this house is? This is the house you broke my pride, me, with my mom, my body, with other women's body, many times you hurt it this is the house

. You know what's weird, even with these I did won't to let go of this house the way the wonted.

When you couldn't move from here and making a pride problem to you. With all that I thought we could make this a house.

this house or other 4 walled house was a house when we were in it.

this was really the silliest one from the once you said yesterday.

It's a house, who are you fooling, we return to our house from ads right

Then why did you runaway from our house each time.

Since the day we found ruya in the door until the night you slapped me, how many times did you left the house, from me. Your reason is ready you were weak. This much.

When I was paying the price for my lies. No matter what happened I jumped in front of you. Just to see you, I collected the trashed for many times.

But what do you do, each time you throw yourself outside. Now the house You say you left me all alone. Your scared. For this reason don't wait politeness from me.

you didn't open this

whats that

so you didn't even see it, you guys baby's picture, look.

whats this doing here

think a little what os it doing here.

did ruya came, that day. why dint you tll me. Why did you let her talk to you.

what are you saying who is asking permission From me, which ones gets permission to talk with me.

my mom came to right. If you had told me

what will have happen if I told you. Poor girl when I was not home what she have lived. I need to be more nice. If she goes to far I will shut her up. What

what did my mom say

he didn't say anything that I don't know. In good days she used to say I made you guys son and mom in a good way. Right now she still says I made mother and son together but in a bad way.

But i should feel good that i made a family that does not exits.

sorry, I just said to make you mad.

don't be you didn't say anything Wrong

Your exaggerating I am exaggerating too. Your mom hating this much also shows how much she cares about you

its late, and it has past info

you talked like you never was happy with them. So because host story

I was 5 years old, the last Ike my mom and my dad was happy was when I was 5 years old.

everything was happening really fast, when I was sitting on the stairs I just heard the sounds. My mom sound my dads sound. The high heels sound.

this is to much its to hurtful. How did you forgive them.

I don't know, I never said I forgive them.

none of the children can grow with this pain madness.

maybe this why I still didn't grow.

our pains, our mistakes, it's like treasure from childhood isn't it. My complex, you anger, your trustfulness. How did we make this.

what

without not knowing each other at all loving this much. You never told these to me

it has been long time I didn't think about it.

this how childhood is like a shadow. Okay for how long where you next to your mom.

when I was 10 I return back next to my dad

you were like Omer, how did your mom let you go

when i 10 I was the only reason that my mom couldn't keep her promises. When I was 17 years old it was all their fault for my living. My dad was a wrong choice and i was the wing of this wrong choice.

She left me because of çans dad but it was because of my dad name it was dirty so my mom chooses him and gave up on me so her name could be clean. gasp emoticon

I am sure you didn't wonted to do this

their is lots of things that Your family has that i cant solve. But their is another thing and this is the only thing that's important for a kid, together.

No matter what. Mistakes, anger, even madness. Their bonding to you your bonding to them no matter what.

I know it, no matter what we make each other live. Right now if they are Turing their back on me I know it

I didn't told you before but even if you say a lie about them since the day we got locked in the classroom your family relationship affected me.

what did you feel when you return to your dads house

I couldn't even be like a doorkeeper girl. Until the School was opened this words washed placed in my head days weeks and months. Weird, maybe sanem started the whole story.

the story that miss sanem stated is at past now. The lies at past now now the only story is our story. This is only our story

. I really have missed you touching me like this.

I couldn't hold myself and I ruined the magic didn't I

their is no magic

does it really scares for leaving yourself for a moment

emir don't do it please.

The pains that we open from the past is not enough to close the pain that we opened for self emir.

Having a hard childhood life doesn't makes my broken go away

okay, I am saying I am poor kid anyways

how much sad kid can you be next to your dad

growing up with my dad, it comes interesting to the ear doesn't it? Fun , angry fun

at least I wasn't wrong about the ego

I can't refuse it

until I crashed on with the car I was believing in sarrafoglu man.

am I supposed to feel special.

you know that your the only important thing in my life

I can't refuse this, you made me feel most important women in world. But then you put me under the ground.

feriha I know i have

malfunctions, I know I have mistakes but because of my defects and mistakes and all the special thing and only big thing is my love to you. you know this

why me

why you

why

why you, maybe million or one answer this question has, with you I meet with myself. I was strong that I was able to do next to you. With your only word I became weak

. I saw the light inside with you. And you sometimes choked me with your own darkness. Maybe all of them maybe one of them.

look at me

I don't won't to. When I listen myself from you, it happens like this. When I look at you everything will be disappear.

your scared to look at me. Because the thing is happening to is happening to me. When you see me you can't hide behind your anger madness.

I won't let this, you can't do this. Looking at you won't make me cover something again. This time it won't be like that.

what will happen then. Feriha come on now tell me to my face is it over, when i was bring you hear my only though was for you to hear my voice.

Not to give an answer or to change the answer. I just wonted to talk.

you did it. We listened we talked now what will happen. What do you won't from me know.

do you know what I won't from you, for once with your want I won't you to leave yourself to me leaving removing everything between us.

Your family, my mom, my dad, Ruya, I won't you to forget everyone but us to.

how easy do you say it. Forgetting, what are you doing to forget. When you were closing the door their was no one between us.

what should we then for example not get out of here at all.

kay, let's not forget no one. You can't do this I get it. But you cannot get out of this door giving an answer right.

Get it we did everything to each other and you guys did everything to us.

Now what I won't is not important, whatever you won't it will happen.

We are still this and look we are still looks this. You can't say we made can you.

again your leaving all the wight to me right. Before you were forced me to go now your forcing me stay here.

your not forced, your not forced to anything.

I feel really tired.

Look I know we made each other tire. I don't won't to give up I don't won't let this.

look I can't explain it. Giving up is giving. Tiering is Tiering. You allowing or not will not change anything. .

You said we would not get out of here until we speak everything and solve it

We spoke, we tuned the house the mess. What did we fixed

since you asked nothing

did you believe that it was going to be this easy. Did you thought stuck between 4 walls throwing the rocks on the floor, even if we hurt each other.

Did you though we will fixed this I told you it won't work like this.

i did everything i could

and know your inside good, a couple of sad moment couple sad childhood stories, a house that we destroyed in our head, yes these are really important.

But what do we now have on our hand.

what did we had when we came here. If I hadn't brought yiu here you wouldn't have spoken to me even once. We wouldn't have get out of silly takings.

your making crowded words. You still can't say what's solved for closing me in here.

you say it then, what couldn't we solve say that. Say it's over to me

emir don't come over me

why are you scared. Are you scared to say its over or are you scared to accept its not over. Are you scared that it will not be over and you know it..

You know it the lies, jealousy. Wonting or not all the mistake we did to each other. None of them was enough to make us over

We could make each other over many times but not the love. Even If all our strength is enough for the silliness. It's not enough to make the love over.

yes it's not over. When ever I say it's over when ever I run away. When I get further I come back to you really hard. Is this it are you happy the your right the rudeness everything you did finished many times

. Whatever kind feeling this is yes love is not over. And their is no reason for it to be over. Can you understand me.

This time I won't fallow my inside(heart) now I am not a lier. I can't say it's over to you. But this times over won't change anything.

you were right we didn't makes it... they won... we lost. We have to accept loosing right.