31C3 Opening Event

31C3 opening title video with music

Someone: Geht doch!

applause

sound of steps on the floor, breathing

erdgeist: Good morning and
welcome everyone to the largest

hacker conference
in the free world.

cheers and applause

Geraldine de Bastion: Good morning
Hamburg, hello world! Wow, oh my goodness,

look at all of you here! My name is
Geraldine, I first started attending

this Congress all the way back
in 1999. And I remember so well

walking into the dark, smoky central
hackspace, and getting into all these

random and really, really exciting
conversations. And I also remember

feeling so much more welcome than
I ever thought would be possible.

But I never thought I would be standing
here today opening the show and this is

such a huge honor.
Thank you very much!

cheers and applause

erdgeist: My name is erdgeist and
I first attended Congress in 1998

which is one year prior to Geraldine…
…what a noob!

laughs
but I now officially attended

more Congresses than I didn’t.
Which means that now I’m old.

And knowing all the love and enthusiasm
that went into preparing this conference

I’m so incredibly proud to see how
everything worked out, how you

got together, how this conference just
blows everyone away. How you

showed up and made this work.
Without anyone telling you what to do.

Just amazing.

Geraldine: So I know what you’re all
thinking. We’re gonna spend the next

half an hour selling you a show that
you’ve already bought tickets for. And

this is kind of true. However we feel that
we have hopefully something interesting

to share with all of you here. But this
also goes out to all the people who

can’t be physically with us today, for
various reasons. Watching from their

telescreens at home. So whether you
are watching by yourself, in front of

your device, or you’re hosting
a Congress-Everywhere event,

and watching together with like-minded
people, and whether you’re

in Dar-es-Salaam, Tel Aviv or
Chemnitz – welcome to the show!

cheers and applause

Now, last year when Tim did this
opening the gravity of the situation

that we’re all facing, in the post-Snowden
era was of course apparent to everybody

here in the room. But what is really
important is that we manage to transport

our message out of these walls.
To the general public. And people finally

started listening to what
people in this room had to say.

erdgeist: We know the services in
the world are still out of control.

And sometimes it’s a little frustrating
that things are not moving faster.

But we need to keep pushing towards
a common goal. We need to keep

our doors open to those that we
want to reach with our message.

Last year we were partying even though
we figured out that people, smart people

from our ranks, were
working for the bad guys.

Geraldine: Last year we were partying even
though the complexity what was happening

was so deafening, and we couldn’t
even find a Congress motto

to express what we were feeling.

erdgeist: But when we learned that the
Google engineers started to raising

their middle fingers towards the NSA, and
started encrypting their server network

communications we understood that
this is not the end, but a new dawn.

Geraldine: And when we learned that
Whatsapp of all clients started

introducing end-to-end encryption, making
it even more secure to use than De-Mail

we learned that developers…

laughter and applause

…developers around the world weren’t
standing back in shock. But rolled up

their sleeves, and got
to work. A New Dawn.

erdgeist: And when we learned that you
guys finally got over your differences

and started the Letsencrypt
project we understood

that the community is not just standing
by. And seeing our community

and the internet being split
on by NSA and NHC… hehe,

and the British secret service.
laughs

laughter

But you were working on it, and came
together, and started fixing what

we’ve been left with by the Snake
Oil cert vendors of the world,

and the secret services. And you made
it work, and I think that’s a New Dawn.

And I’m very confident to say
that this community, obviously,

rolled their sleeves up, and made
for once and for all clear that it’s

not the shady spy agencies with their
ridiculous budgets ruling the internet

but we are. And it’s a New Dawn!

cheers and applause

Geraldine: So now we would like to
know who’s first Congress is this?

If you’re here for the first time can
you give me a sign of hands?

Ah, so many people! Huh!
erdgeist: Amazing!

Geraldine: That’s why you’re
all here so early! Now I…

erdgeist: Everyone take a good
look at them! Because…

cheers and applause

…it’s because of them that we need to
explain everything from square one.

laughter
laughs on his own bad joke

Geraldine: But we would like to say
thank you for that! For 2 reasons:

a) we’d like to say thank you because it’s so
important that we know how to explain

everything from square one. And
(b) it’s because of you guys that

our community keeps growing every year.

erdgeist: And the community keeps growing
because there’s all those tiny gems

like the “Chaospatinnen” project.
Which is our interpretation of

how a mentors program
is supposed to work.

Geraldine: So this is how it works. This
year there are about 30 ‘Chaospatinnen’

taking care of 100 new attendees called
“Patenkinder”. They could apply for this,

and it wasn’t just a random selection, but
the ‘Chaospatinnen’ actually sat down

and made sure they matched their interests
with the ones of the people that they

would be mentoring. And they’re
basically gonna help show them around

for the next 4 days, show them all the
hidden secrets of the Congress,

help them put together an advanced
bucket list and make sure they get

the most out of this
first Congress experience.

erdgeist: And one of those
‘Chaos-Kinder’ is Elia. And he wrote

to the chaospatinnen mailing list.
Said that over the last years he’s been

fascinated in technology. And hacking.
But he could never afford coming

to the Congress. And now, for
his 18th birthday his parents gave him

a ticket to this show, and a ticket
to Hamburg. So welcome, Elia!

applause and cheers

Geraldine: We’d also like to welcome Alex.
Alex is a really good example why this

program is so important. She’s studying
math, and she’s studying cognitive

sciences and is currently working on her
PhD. And she was yet never really sure

whether she was supposed to come to
Congress, whether this is the right place

for her. Because she didn’t feel like
a real hacker. So we’d like to say:

“Welcome, Alex! You’re perfect here!”

applause

And we would like to welcome one
other ‘Chaos-Patenkind’ who’d like to

stay anonymous. But she confessed
to us that she used to have to spend

the holidays eating so much unhealthy
food, and celebrating with her family,

and fixing computers. We just wanna
say: we know what that’s like.

We feel with you! Welcome!

laughter, applause and cheers

And we hope all of you have a great
time. There’s a lot in store including

a field day, a field trip, and even
going backstage and getting to visit TIM.

erdgeist: Hehe, yes, they’ve an audience
with the TIM. And they’re going to see

NOC, and they’re going backstage to
the party. I’m so incredibly jealous,

so I think next year I will apply for
the ‘Chaospatinnen’ project, too.

Just… just for the trip.
And what ‘Chaospatinnen’ is

for our new participants
the ‘Press Angels’ corps is,

well, for the press. So if you
come to the entrance and say

you’re a member of the press you
get your complementary Press Angel.

Who will show you around, help you
get a feel for the conference,

show you all the nice spots
and make you familiar with the

photo policy of this conference. And…
laughter and applause

…this service is of course
not mandatory because, well,

we are not in North Korea here…
laughs

Geraldine: Don’t make jokes about North
Korea! You never know what’s gonna happen

these days if you do that!
laughter

loud distorted sound changing
to lower frequencies

erdgeist: Oops!
Geraldine: I thought that might happen!

erdgeist: laughs
Damn!

So we know that there’s 2 students
from the University of Kiel here

laughter

who have been getting their… I think
I go over there, that’s just closer

to my computer. So we have 2 students
from the University of Kiel here

whose Prof sponsored them a ticket
for this show. And I think this is

a nice development. I think that all
universities in Germany should make sure

that their students get the best
education possible. So…

Geraldine laughs
applause

And you may believe it or not.
Like 16 years ago I started out

like over 1000 of you last year
and this year as a Chaos Angel.

I’ve been sitting in my first Congress
through the mandatory

‘TCP/IP for beginners’ lecture. And
I would never have imagined that,

like 16 years later I would be standing
in front of 3000 people and cracking jokes

about my ‘TCP/IP for beginners’ lecture
and most of you would actually get it.

Which is rather amazing! And, well,
I feel jealous for the ‘Chaospatinnen’…

no, for the mentees! Even though I did not
have the head start Chaospatinnen project

provides today I still felt very welcome,
with the Chaos Angels and, well,

came back year after year. And… now.

About those Chaos Angels: they’re
the integral part of what makes

this conference work. And you over there,
at the camera, what’s your name?

Mario. Mario is a camera angel. And he’s

helping at the conference. But I’m
standing here getting all the good vibes,

getting all the fame. And this is why
I’m standing here! But this guy…

laughter
has been paying full price.

And he’s still doing his shifts to make
this conference work. And I want everyone

to give him a warm round of aplause!

applause

I would also say that if you go outside
and meet an angel just go and say

thank you, and, well, actually do mean
it! And if you’re being blocked from

entering the lecture hall you want to
attend just remember that the angel

is volunteering, too.
And, don’t be grumpy.

Don’t be angry. Just say thank you,
maybe turn around and watch the stream

on the back of the hall.
I would even go so far to say:

make today Hug-an-Angel Day!
laughter

Geraldine: Consensually, of course!
laughter

So it’s all the ‘Chaospatinnen’, all the
Chaos Angels that we’d like to say

thankyou to. But we’d also like to give
a shoutout to all the hundreds

of volunteers that have made this event
possible. It’s all the people that

have set up the… yeah, the OC’s
bringing the internet, the DECT

and GSM phone networks. It’s all the
people who have put the schedule together

for you, behind the cash desks, at the
entry points, and also all the people

that are doing translation service.
We’re actually gonna translate

all the German talks into English for you.
And a whole bunch of the English talks

into German, too. And you can even make
requests which talk should be translated

via Twitter. So it’s really all these
people that are making this possible.

And let’s give them
a big round of applause.

applause

So. I am assuming that with
around 200 people

giving over 150 lectures over the next
4 days a couple of people presenting

are in this room right now? Can you give
me a sign of hand if you’re gonna be

speaking on this or another
stage in the next days?

erdgeist: Yeah, there are some!
Geraldine: Okay everybody, take

a good look at these hands going up.
In order for these people to be able

to give their talks at least 2 other
submissions were turned down. And so

you better do a really, really god job.
Otherwise you gonna have the wrath

of about 30.000 people turned upon you.
No pressure, no pressure! No – really!

We would like to say thankyou to all of
you as well, for coming here and sharing

your knowledge. And we’d also like to say
thank you for all of you who handed in

suggestions, whose ideas
weren’t selected this year.

erdgeist: Seriously, the number
of rejected talks this year

was heart-breaking. You know
that we organized the content

in tracks. Five different tracks, each
being curated by a different track team.

And in some of the track teams the ratio
between accepted and rejected talks

was close to 1:5. So if a lecture was not
accepted that doesn’t necessarily mean

it was bad. But the competition was so
brutal. So, thank you for your submission

and – I know it’s hard to ask to maybe
just go and make your lecture

a lightning talk. There’s still some
slots free. Or present the topic

you wanted to present in
a workshop. And this year

in fixing up the Fahrplan we
had some help from you guys.

We’ve had that amazing tool
where everyone of you

could just submit their preferences and
say what lectures they want to see.

And we used that data wisely to
make sure that for most of you

you could see your favourite talk
while not missing another talk

you wanted to see.
Well, except for that one guy.

Geraldine: What?
erdgeist: Yeah, we’re using heavy data mining

and number crunching to make sure
that, for that poor fellow’s guy

all the lectures he wanted to see there
was at least 2 conflicting lectures.

So, you know who you are.
laughter

Just kidding!

We’re still using the data from the tool,
so if you keep submitting the preferences

for your lectures we will know which
lectures we need to stream outside,

and the translation team is also using
that numbers, to see what the interest

in those lectures are.

Geraldine: Okay, well. Hopefully that was
gonna make all the rest of you enjoy

the show. Sorry for that one person!
But in case this isn’t just hard enough

with all this content going round: you’ve
also thrown in over 100 workshops

into the mix, all completely
self-organized. There gonna be

dozens of lightning talks, over 230
assemblies on anything from

smartcard hacking, 3D printing…
There’s even gonna be a cocktail bot.

erdgeist: Yes, and to my delightment
there’s a coffee nerd area in the 4th floor

I will definitely be hanging around in.
laughs Yes!

Geraldine: Applause for coffee nerds!
small applause

erdgeist: And I recommend to enjoy
the crazy joyride that has been set up

for you outside in the hall. There’s
so much exhibitions. There’s the

second installment of the ‘Seidenstrasse’
which is an amazing construction.

It’s last rehearsal before
the Camp. And I recommend

taking a dip into the ‘Bällebad’!
Don’t forget to bring your towel.

Nah! Tss! And…
laughter and applause

This all has been set up to fulfill
the promise that has been

at the core and in the name of the
conference from the very beginning.

It’s… communication!

Geraldine: So we dare you: go out, go out
here and talk to some random stranger

about her project. Go and attend
a lecture whose title and abstract

you do not understand. Go and
tinker with somebody’s installation.

Try not to break it if possible. And just
go out and have fun, and meet people.

Whatever you do don’t go sit in a corner
and wait for something to happen.

If you really don’t have anything better
to do why don’t you use this very network

to retrieve some classified
information you have access to?

erdgeist: Using an insecure connection,
of course. And incidentally there’s

an ethics hotline on this conference,
again. You might call to, well,

get some feeling if it’s
alright what you’re doing.

And I think it’s fair to say that
I’m proud of this community

because we’ve built ourself what
we think libraries should look like.

We do have that hot shiny new media.ccc.de
where the lectures of this conference

are being streamed. And
where on average 1 lecture

is being posted every 3 days.
From conferences like this one.

For everyone to download and learn,
and watch. I think it’s fair to say that

with this conference we’ve built what
we think universities should look like.

Teaching and learning as equals, and
taking the presenter of the show

afterwards to a hands-on
workshop. Well, enjoy a Tschunk

at the ‘Bällebad’, together.
And no matter what the social,

or religious, or sexual background
is, we’re communicating

as equals which is what
makes this community cool.

Geraldine: Yes, and the
strength of this community…

applause

…the strength of this community
is also apparent in the way

that you support each other. Even if it
is just by the little things. Now there’s

a lot of support from the CCH. But this
is still very, very pricy. So basically

we can use every penny that you’re willing
to give us to organize this event. And

we’d like to point out how fantastic
it is that over 25% of all of you

chose to buy Supporter Tickets and
not just regular tickets. Now, we know

that 25% is far above the ratio of people
attending the Congress who are actually

super rich and wealthy. So that means
that you guys went out of your way

to spend a little extra, and support
other people who’re not so wealthy

in this community. And we’d like to say
“Thank you very much for that”.

applause

erdgeist: And this conference is
a recurring yet unfortunately only

temporary installation. So we ask you
to take the spirit of the Congress

back to your local hackerspace.
And, well, establish or re-establish

weekly lectures to, well, make yourself
mini congresses. Because those

hackerspaces are the Petri dishes for
what’s going on here on the conference.

They provide the open space to teach,
to learn and to communicate.

Geraldine: Yes, so over the last years,
over the last decades even we have all

broadened our cultural contexts. And we
believe that now we have a serious chance

to pass on all that we’ve created, and
all that we’ve learned for ourselves

to new generations. All that we’ve just
spoken about. Exploring how learning

can be fun. Creating blueprints for
how to exchange with one another.

We’ve created a lot. But all this
greatness also comes at a price.

erdgeist: Well, we’ve all had our history
of being bullied, of being bullied for

wanting to learn. For not being mainstream
and for having interests that were

not so prominent at that time. But I think
we meddled through, and we made it

so far. And I’m really proud of the
community, what they’ve achieved

and not what they were in the beginning.

Geraldine: We have to acknowledge
that we’re not the underdogs that we

used to be anymore. 15 years ago you were
special if you knew how to use a computer.

Nowadays you’re special if you don’t.
And those people need our help!

It’s us, we are becoming mainstream.
And whilst it is happening we believe it’s

really important that we lead by example.
And do not become the bullies ourselves

but embrace new and old generations,
to pass on what we’ve learned.

erdgeist: And to be honest…

applause

concerning the cryptographic
applications out there:

we hackers just had
a head start, that’s all.

The current sorry state of cryptography
we have been left in by…

by design that was broken.
By negligence or… yeah, by design.

We – given the chance – would never build
the cryptography the way it is right now.

So I think we can’t blame
others not to get it. Seriously,

we hackers should stop
being so smug about it.

applause
And I, for my part apologize

for the annoying CA-Cert situation.

It’s been a cool project over
the years, using that cert. But

right now it’s preventing more
communication than it’s securing. So I’m…

applause
I’m looking forward to the summer of 2015

because the Letsencrypt project will
make deploying certs and encrypting

much easier. And in the summer of 2015
there will also be a new Camp! Yay!

applause

Geraldine: As you know the Camp is
going to be an amazing playground.

There’s gonna be a lake, there are going
to be forests, there’s an old factory

that used to burn the lime stones that Berlin
was built up with. So we hope you’re all

gonna come and join us there. Bring
a tent! And because this gisn be in the

far out, dark skirts of Brandenburg that
even folk songs warn you about:

bring some food, too!
laughter

erdgeist: I recommend everyone to connect.
Connect outside with the ‘Seidenstrasse’.

It will be huge on the camp site! In
a much larger scale. So take a good look

at how you can connect to the
‘Seidenstrasse’ installment.

I would recommend connecting to one of
those assemblies out there. Because

the assemblies were modeled after the
Villages on the last camp, and will

of course be the seats for the new
Village. So go connect and try to see

if you can go with some of the
Villages to the Camp next year.

Geraldine: Yes, and of course it’s – like
we said – gonna be one big party as well.

And there’s gonna be a lot of great work
being done. But there’s gonna be a lot of

celebration being done, too. Because as is
true with any revolution it is true for our

digital one as well: if I can’t dance to
it it’s not mine! So we have embraced

the electronic music scene a long time
ago. And of course it’s an integral part

of the Camp and Congress today.

applause

“Spass am Gerät!” So I think now…
now about ready to open the show properly

with our first Keynote speaker. I hope
you’re all familiar with him. If it’s like

for instance from the 30C3 triumphal hymn.
single cheer from audience

erdgeist: It’s our most prominent Audio
Angel, I think. Incidentally, Geraldine

and I met him for the first time on
May 1st of 1999. Around the same time

we were starting to hang around close to
CCC. And there he was playing on that

infamous scheduled riots in Berlin.

Geraldine: So, yeah. So now we’d like to
ask you all to give a really, really big

warm welcome to…

Geraldine and erdgeist: ALEC EMPIRE!

applause and some cheers

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