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31C3 opening title video with music
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Someone: Geht doch!
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applause
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sound of steps on the floor, breathing
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erdgeist: Good morning and
welcome everyone to the largest
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hacker conference
in the free world.
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cheers and applause
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Geraldine de Bastion: Good morning
Hamburg, hello world! Wow, oh my goodness,
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look at all of you here! My name is
Geraldine, I first started attending
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this Congress all the way back
in 1999. And I remember so well
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walking into the dark, smoky central
hackspace, and getting into all these
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random and really, really exciting
conversations. And I also remember
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feeling so much more welcome than
I ever thought would be possible.
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But I never thought I would be standing
here today opening the show and this is
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such a huge honor.
Thank you very much!
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cheers and applause
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erdgeist: My name is erdgeist and
I first attended Congress in 1998
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which is one year prior to Geraldine…
…what a noob!
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laughs
but I now officially attended
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more Congresses than I didn’t.
Which means that now I’m old.
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And knowing all the love and enthusiasm
that went into preparing this conference
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I’m so incredibly proud to see how
everything worked out, how you
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got together, how this conference just
blows everyone away. How you
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showed up and made this work.
Without anyone telling you what to do.
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Just amazing.
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Geraldine: So I know what you’re all
thinking. We’re gonna spend the next
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half an hour selling you a show that
you’ve already bought tickets for. And
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this is kind of true. However we feel that
we have hopefully something interesting
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to share with all of you here. But this
also goes out to all the people who
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can’t be physically with us today, for
various reasons. Watching from their
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telescreens at home. So whether you
are watching by yourself, in front of
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your device, or you’re hosting
a Congress-Everywhere event,
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and watching together with like-minded
people, and whether you’re
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in Dar-es-Salaam, Tel Aviv or
Chemnitz – welcome to the show!
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cheers and applause
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Now, last year when Tim did this
opening the gravity of the situation
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that we’re all facing, in the post-Snowden
era was of course apparent to everybody
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here in the room. But what is really
important is that we manage to transport
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our message out of these walls.
To the general public. And people finally
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started listening to what
people in this room had to say.
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erdgeist: We know the services in
the world are still out of control.
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And sometimes it’s a little frustrating
that things are not moving faster.
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But we need to keep pushing towards
a common goal. We need to keep
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our doors open to those that we
want to reach with our message.
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Last year we were partying even though
we figured out that people, smart people
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from our ranks, were
working for the bad guys.
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Geraldine: Last year we were partying even
though the complexity what was happening
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was so deafening, and we couldn’t
even find a Congress motto
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to express what we were feeling.
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erdgeist: But when we learned that the
Google engineers started to raising
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their middle fingers towards the NSA, and
started encrypting their server network
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communications we understood that
this is not the end, but a new dawn.
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Geraldine: And when we learned that
Whatsapp of all clients started
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introducing end-to-end encryption, making
it even more secure to use than De-Mail
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we learned that developers…
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laughter and applause
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…developers around the world weren’t
standing back in shock. But rolled up
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their sleeves, and got
to work. A New Dawn.
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erdgeist: And when we learned that you
guys finally got over your differences
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and started the Letsencrypt
project we understood
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that the community is not just standing
by. And seeing our community
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and the internet being split
on by NSA and NHC… hehe,
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and the British secret service.
laughs
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laughter
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But you were working on it, and came
together, and started fixing what
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we’ve been left with by the Snake
Oil cert vendors of the world,
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and the secret services. And you made
it work, and I think that’s a New Dawn.
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And I’m very confident to say
that this community, obviously,
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rolled their sleeves up, and made
for once and for all clear that it’s
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not the shady spy agencies with their
ridiculous budgets ruling the internet
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but we are. And it’s a New Dawn!
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cheers and applause
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Geraldine: So now we would like to
know who’s first Congress is this?
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If you’re here for the first time can
you give me a sign of hands?
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Ah, so many people! Huh!
erdgeist: Amazing!
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Geraldine: That’s why you’re
all here so early! Now I…
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erdgeist: Everyone take a good
look at them! Because…
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cheers and applause
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…it’s because of them that we need to
explain everything from square one.
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laughter
laughs on his own bad joke
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Geraldine: But we would like to say
thank you for that! For 2 reasons:
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a) we’d like to say thank you because it’s so
important that we know how to explain
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everything from square one. And
(b) it’s because of you guys that
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our community keeps growing every year.
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erdgeist: And the community keeps growing
because there’s all those tiny gems
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like the “Chaospatinnen” project.
Which is our interpretation of
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how a mentors program
is supposed to work.
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Geraldine: So this is how it works. This
year there are about 30 ‘Chaospatinnen’
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taking care of 100 new attendees called
“Patenkinder”. They could apply for this,
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and it wasn’t just a random selection, but
the ‘Chaospatinnen’ actually sat down
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and made sure they matched their interests
with the ones of the people that they
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would be mentoring. And they’re
basically gonna help show them around
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for the next 4 days, show them all the
hidden secrets of the Congress,
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help them put together an advanced
bucket list and make sure they get
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the most out of this
first Congress experience.
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erdgeist: And one of those
‘Chaos-Kinder’ is Elia. And he wrote
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to the chaospatinnen mailing list.
Said that over the last years he’s been
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fascinated in technology. And hacking.
But he could never afford coming
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to the Congress. And now, for
his 18th birthday his parents gave him
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a ticket to this show, and a ticket
to Hamburg. So welcome, Elia!
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applause and cheers
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Geraldine: We’d also like to welcome Alex.
Alex is a really good example why this
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program is so important. She’s studying
math, and she’s studying cognitive
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sciences and is currently working on her
PhD. And she was yet never really sure
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whether she was supposed to come to
Congress, whether this is the right place
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for her. Because she didn’t feel like
a real hacker. So we’d like to say:
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“Welcome, Alex! You’re perfect here!”
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applause
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And we would like to welcome one
other ‘Chaos-Patenkind’ who’d like to
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stay anonymous. But she confessed
to us that she used to have to spend
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the holidays eating so much unhealthy
food, and celebrating with her family,
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and fixing computers. We just wanna
say: we know what that’s like.
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We feel with you! Welcome!
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laughter, applause and cheers
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And we hope all of you have a great
time. There’s a lot in store including
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a field day, a field trip, and even
going backstage and getting to visit TIM.
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erdgeist: Hehe, yes, they’ve an audience
with the TIM. And they’re going to see
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NOC, and they’re going backstage to
the party. I’m so incredibly jealous,
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so I think next year I will apply for
the ‘Chaospatinnen’ project, too.
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Just… just for the trip.
And what ‘Chaospatinnen’ is
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for our new participants
the ‘Press Angels’ corps is,
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well, for the press. So if you
come to the entrance and say
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you’re a member of the press you
get your complementary Press Angel.
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Who will show you around, help you
get a feel for the conference,
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show you all the nice spots
and make you familiar with the
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photo policy of this conference. And…
laughter and applause
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…this service is of course
not mandatory because, well,
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we are not in North Korea here…
laughs
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Geraldine: Don’t make jokes about North
Korea! You never know what’s gonna happen
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these days if you do that!
laughter
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loud distorted sound changing
to lower frequencies
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erdgeist: Oops!
Geraldine: I thought that might happen!
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erdgeist: laughs
Damn!
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So we know that there’s 2 students
from the University of Kiel here
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laughter
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who have been getting their… I think
I go over there, that’s just closer
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to my computer. So we have 2 students
from the University of Kiel here
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whose Prof sponsored them a ticket
for this show. And I think this is
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a nice development. I think that all
universities in Germany should make sure
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that their students get the best
education possible. So…
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Geraldine laughs
applause
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And you may believe it or not.
Like 16 years ago I started out
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like over 1000 of you last year
and this year as a Chaos Angel.
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I’ve been sitting in my first Congress
through the mandatory
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‘TCP/IP for beginners’ lecture. And
I would never have imagined that,
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like 16 years later I would be standing
in front of 3000 people and cracking jokes
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about my ‘TCP/IP for beginners’ lecture
and most of you would actually get it.
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Which is rather amazing! And, well,
I feel jealous for the ‘Chaospatinnen’…
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no, for the mentees! Even though I did not
have the head start Chaospatinnen project
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provides today I still felt very welcome,
with the Chaos Angels and, well,
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came back year after year. And… now.
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About those Chaos Angels: they’re
the integral part of what makes
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this conference work. And you over there,
at the camera, what’s your name?
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Mario. Mario is a camera angel. And he’s
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helping at the conference. But I’m
standing here getting all the good vibes,
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getting all the fame. And this is why
I’m standing here! But this guy…
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laughter
has been paying full price.
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And he’s still doing his shifts to make
this conference work. And I want everyone
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to give him a warm round of aplause!
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applause
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I would also say that if you go outside
and meet an angel just go and say
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thank you, and, well, actually do mean
it! And if you’re being blocked from
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entering the lecture hall you want to
attend just remember that the angel
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is volunteering, too.
And, don’t be grumpy.
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Don’t be angry. Just say thank you,
maybe turn around and watch the stream
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on the back of the hall.
I would even go so far to say:
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make today Hug-an-Angel Day!
laughter
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Geraldine: Consensually, of course!
laughter
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So it’s all the ‘Chaospatinnen’, all the
Chaos Angels that we’d like to say
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thankyou to. But we’d also like to give
a shoutout to all the hundreds
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of volunteers that have made this event
possible. It’s all the people that
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have set up the… yeah, the OC’s
bringing the internet, the DECT
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and GSM phone networks. It’s all the
people who have put the schedule together
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for you, behind the cash desks, at the
entry points, and also all the people
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that are doing translation service.
We’re actually gonna translate
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all the German talks into English for you.
And a whole bunch of the English talks
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into German, too. And you can even make
requests which talk should be translated
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via Twitter. So it’s really all these
people that are making this possible.
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And let’s give them
a big round of applause.
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applause
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So. I am assuming that with
around 200 people
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giving over 150 lectures over the next
4 days a couple of people presenting
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are in this room right now? Can you give
me a sign of hand if you’re gonna be
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speaking on this or another
stage in the next days?
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erdgeist: Yeah, there are some!
Geraldine: Okay everybody, take
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a good look at these hands going up.
In order for these people to be able
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to give their talks at least 2 other
submissions were turned down. And so
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you better do a really, really god job.
Otherwise you gonna have the wrath
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of about 30.000 people turned upon you.
No pressure, no pressure! No – really!
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We would like to say thankyou to all of
you as well, for coming here and sharing
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your knowledge. And we’d also like to say
thank you for all of you who handed in
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suggestions, whose ideas
weren’t selected this year.
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erdgeist: Seriously, the number
of rejected talks this year
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was heart-breaking. You know
that we organized the content
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in tracks. Five different tracks, each
being curated by a different track team.
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And in some of the track teams the ratio
between accepted and rejected talks
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was close to 1:5. So if a lecture was not
accepted that doesn’t necessarily mean
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it was bad. But the competition was so
brutal. So, thank you for your submission
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and – I know it’s hard to ask to maybe
just go and make your lecture
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a lightning talk. There’s still some
slots free. Or present the topic
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you wanted to present in
a workshop. And this year
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in fixing up the Fahrplan we
had some help from you guys.
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We’ve had that amazing tool
where everyone of you
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could just submit their preferences and
say what lectures they want to see.
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And we used that data wisely to
make sure that for most of you
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you could see your favourite talk
while not missing another talk
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you wanted to see.
Well, except for that one guy.
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Geraldine: What?
erdgeist: Yeah, we’re using heavy data mining
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and number crunching to make sure
that, for that poor fellow’s guy
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all the lectures he wanted to see there
was at least 2 conflicting lectures.
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So, you know who you are.
laughter
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Just kidding!
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We’re still using the data from the tool,
so if you keep submitting the preferences
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for your lectures we will know which
lectures we need to stream outside,
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and the translation team is also using
that numbers, to see what the interest
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in those lectures are.
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Geraldine: Okay, well. Hopefully that was
gonna make all the rest of you enjoy
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the show. Sorry for that one person!
But in case this isn’t just hard enough
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with all this content going round: you’ve
also thrown in over 100 workshops
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into the mix, all completely
self-organized. There gonna be
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dozens of lightning talks, over 230
assemblies on anything from
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smartcard hacking, 3D printing…
There’s even gonna be a cocktail bot.
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erdgeist: Yes, and to my delightment
there’s a coffee nerd area in the 4th floor
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I will definitely be hanging around in.
laughs Yes!
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Geraldine: Applause for coffee nerds!
small applause
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erdgeist: And I recommend to enjoy
the crazy joyride that has been set up
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for you outside in the hall. There’s
so much exhibitions. There’s the
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second installment of the ‘Seidenstrasse’
which is an amazing construction.
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It’s last rehearsal before
the Camp. And I recommend
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taking a dip into the ‘Bällebad’!
Don’t forget to bring your towel.
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Nah! Tss! And…
laughter and applause
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This all has been set up to fulfill
the promise that has been
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at the core and in the name of the
conference from the very beginning.
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It’s… communication!
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Geraldine: So we dare you: go out, go out
here and talk to some random stranger
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about her project. Go and attend
a lecture whose title and abstract
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you do not understand. Go and
tinker with somebody’s installation.
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Try not to break it if possible. And just
go out and have fun, and meet people.
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Whatever you do don’t go sit in a corner
and wait for something to happen.
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If you really don’t have anything better
to do why don’t you use this very network
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to retrieve some classified
information you have access to?
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erdgeist: Using an insecure connection,
of course. And incidentally there’s
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an ethics hotline on this conference,
again. You might call to, well,
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get some feeling if it’s
alright what you’re doing.
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And I think it’s fair to say that
I’m proud of this community
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because we’ve built ourself what
we think libraries should look like.
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We do have that hot shiny new media.ccc.de
where the lectures of this conference
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are being streamed. And
where on average 1 lecture
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is being posted every 3 days.
From conferences like this one.
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For everyone to download and learn,
and watch. I think it’s fair to say that
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with this conference we’ve built what
we think universities should look like.
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Teaching and learning as equals, and
taking the presenter of the show
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afterwards to a hands-on
workshop. Well, enjoy a Tschunk
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at the ‘Bällebad’, together.
And no matter what the social,
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or religious, or sexual background
is, we’re communicating
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as equals which is what
makes this community cool.
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Geraldine: Yes, and the
strength of this community…
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applause
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…the strength of this community
is also apparent in the way
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that you support each other. Even if it
is just by the little things. Now there’s
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a lot of support from the CCH. But this
is still very, very pricy. So basically
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we can use every penny that you’re willing
to give us to organize this event. And
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we’d like to point out how fantastic
it is that over 25% of all of you
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chose to buy Supporter Tickets and
not just regular tickets. Now, we know
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that 25% is far above the ratio of people
attending the Congress who are actually
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super rich and wealthy. So that means
that you guys went out of your way
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to spend a little extra, and support
other people who’re not so wealthy
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in this community. And we’d like to say
“Thank you very much for that”.
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applause
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erdgeist: And this conference is
a recurring yet unfortunately only
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temporary installation. So we ask you
to take the spirit of the Congress
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back to your local hackerspace.
And, well, establish or re-establish
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weekly lectures to, well, make yourself
mini congresses. Because those
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hackerspaces are the Petri dishes for
what’s going on here on the conference.
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They provide the open space to teach,
to learn and to communicate.
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Geraldine: Yes, so over the last years,
over the last decades even we have all
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broadened our cultural contexts. And we
believe that now we have a serious chance
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to pass on all that we’ve created, and
all that we’ve learned for ourselves
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to new generations. All that we’ve just
spoken about. Exploring how learning
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can be fun. Creating blueprints for
how to exchange with one another.
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We’ve created a lot. But all this
greatness also comes at a price.
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erdgeist: Well, we’ve all had our history
of being bullied, of being bullied for
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wanting to learn. For not being mainstream
and for having interests that were
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not so prominent at that time. But I think
we meddled through, and we made it
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so far. And I’m really proud of the
community, what they’ve achieved
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and not what they were in the beginning.
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Geraldine: We have to acknowledge
that we’re not the underdogs that we
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used to be anymore. 15 years ago you were
special if you knew how to use a computer.
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Nowadays you’re special if you don’t.
And those people need our help!
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It’s us, we are becoming mainstream.
And whilst it is happening we believe it’s
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really important that we lead by example.
And do not become the bullies ourselves
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but embrace new and old generations,
to pass on what we’ve learned.
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erdgeist: And to be honest…
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applause
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concerning the cryptographic
applications out there:
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we hackers just had
a head start, that’s all.
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The current sorry state of cryptography
we have been left in by…
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by design that was broken.
By negligence or… yeah, by design.
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We – given the chance – would never build
the cryptography the way it is right now.
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So I think we can’t blame
others not to get it. Seriously,
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we hackers should stop
being so smug about it.
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applause
And I, for my part apologize
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for the annoying CA-Cert situation.
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It’s been a cool project over
the years, using that cert. But
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right now it’s preventing more
communication than it’s securing. So I’m…
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applause
I’m looking forward to the summer of 2015
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because the Letsencrypt project will
make deploying certs and encrypting
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much easier. And in the summer of 2015
there will also be a new Camp! Yay!
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applause
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Geraldine: As you know the Camp is
going to be an amazing playground.
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There’s gonna be a lake, there are going
to be forests, there’s an old factory
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that used to burn the lime stones that Berlin
was built up with. So we hope you’re all
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gonna come and join us there. Bring
a tent! And because this gisn be in the
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far out, dark skirts of Brandenburg that
even folk songs warn you about:
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bring some food, too!
laughter
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erdgeist: I recommend everyone to connect.
Connect outside with the ‘Seidenstrasse’.
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It will be huge on the camp site! In
a much larger scale. So take a good look
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at how you can connect to the
‘Seidenstrasse’ installment.
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I would recommend connecting to one of
those assemblies out there. Because
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the assemblies were modeled after the
Villages on the last camp, and will
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of course be the seats for the new
Village. So go connect and try to see
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if you can go with some of the
Villages to the Camp next year.
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Geraldine: Yes, and of course it’s – like
we said – gonna be one big party as well.
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And there’s gonna be a lot of great work
being done. But there’s gonna be a lot of
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celebration being done, too. Because as is
true with any revolution it is true for our
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digital one as well: if I can’t dance to
it it’s not mine! So we have embraced
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the electronic music scene a long time
ago. And of course it’s an integral part
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of the Camp and Congress today.
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applause
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“Spass am Gerät!” So I think now…
now about ready to open the show properly
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with our first Keynote speaker. I hope
you’re all familiar with him. If it’s like
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for instance from the 30C3 triumphal hymn.
single cheer from audience
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erdgeist: It’s our most prominent Audio
Angel, I think. Incidentally, Geraldine
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and I met him for the first time on
May 1st of 1999. Around the same time
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we were starting to hang around close to
CCC. And there he was playing on that
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infamous scheduled riots in Berlin.
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Geraldine: So, yeah. So now we’d like to
ask you all to give a really, really big
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warm welcome to…
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Geraldine and erdgeist: ALEC EMPIRE!
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applause and some cheers
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