How to live with all the suffering of the Israeli?

Session of Q&A with Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, Thay. Magnolia Grove Monastery, Mississippi, September 2013

(Half bell)

(Bell)

Dear Thay, dear community,

You spoke about
if we live in a toxic environment

where there is something we think
is bad for our soul or spirit

we should leave.

I live perhaps...

I live in Israel, in the West Bank.

In the ground, in everybody's mind,
my family's mind, my children's' mind

there is a lot of suffering,
a lot of anger, hostility,

a lot of racial memories
that Jewish people remember.

Things from thousands of years.

I have no idea how to take myself away
from a collective conscious,

from my children and my grandchildren,

from my home, from a place that I feel
is not good for me.

My question is:

How can we remove
from a toxic environment

when in that environment we have children,
grandchildren, our friends are there,

our work is there,
our ancestors are there.

We can contribute to the work
of changing the environment.

We can also come together
and create a kind of island

that is safer and healthier

to protect ourselves

in the case that we cannot pull out.

In Plum Village in the past

we have sponsored many groups
of Palestinians and Israelis

to come and practice with us.

We have learned a lot from that.

Every time two groups came,

we noticed that they could not
look at each other,

because each group
has a lot of anger, fear,

and suspicion.

And it is not pleasant
to look at the other group.

Because you think that your suffering
has been created by the other group.

You are the only victim

and they are the ones
who cause your suffering.

That is the thinking,
that is the feeling.

A lot of anger and fear.

And suspicion.

So during the first week of the practice
we helped them, both groups,

-they didn't stay together in one place-

in the practice of mindful breathing,
mindful walking, to calm down,

and to learn how to look at
that suffering, that anger, that fear.

And the practice of touching
the wonders of life, the nature.

Because there are many of us,
coming from many countries,

and together we can create
an atmosphere of brotherhood, sisterhood,

which is very pleasant to be in.

During the first week both groups
profit from that kind of environment.

We eat together, we walk together,

we share together
our learning, our practice.

And the second week we begin
the practice of deep listening

and loving speech.

One of the two groups

is invited to speak.

They are encouraged to tell
everything in their hearts.

All kind of suffering
that they have gone through

on their side.

When the Palestinians speak,
then the Israelis just listen.

And you who speak, you are encouraged
to use the kind of language

that can help the other side
to understand.

If there is too much accusation,
blame and anger,

the other side will not be able
to listen to you.

So try to use a kind of language

that helps the other side
to understand the suffering on your side.

You must tell them.

Every kind of suffering that your children
and adults have gone through,

tell them everything.

But please do not accuse, do not blame,

do not be bitter.

And that will help them,

because the purpose of speaking is
to help the other side to understand.

Understand here means understand
the suffering of the other side.

On the other side who listens,

we recommend that
they listen with compassion.

Listening like this,
we have only one purpose:

to allow them a chance to speak out,
to empty their heart and suffer less.

Because you know that they also suffer.

That is called compassionate listening.

You listen with only one purpose:
to help them to speak out,

to empty their heart
so that they can suffer less.

That is why, during the time you listen,
you should not react.

Just listen.

Stop your thinking.
Just listen.

Even if they say wrong things,

they have a lot of wrong perceptions,

their perceptions do not
correspond with reality,

you still continue to listen
and do not interrupt them

and correct them.

Because if you do, you transform
the session into a debate.

That will ruin everything.

You have to practice mindful breathing

and maintain mindfulness
of compassion alive in you.

We are listening to them
with only one purpose:

help them to suffer less.

That is enough for you to be protected.

You are protected
by the energy of compassion.

That is why what they say doesn't trigger
irritation and anger in you.

Because you are protected by compassion.

Mindfulness and compassion.

Just remember one thing:

I listen with only one purpose,

to help him to suffer less.

You can listen for one hour
without anger or irritation.

That is the practice of a bodhisattva,

Bodhisattva of Deep Listening,

Compassionate Listening.

Even if they have
a lot of wrong perceptions,

I will not interrupt them.

I allow them a chance to suffer less.

There will be a few more weeks together.

Three or four days later,

we may offer them some information
for them to correct their perceptions,

but not now.
Now is only listening.

When you listen like that,

for the first time you see
that on the other side

they are human beings like you

and they have suffered exactly

the kind of suffering that
you have suffered on your side.

Very much the same.

Bombs, bullets, mortars,

the death of children,
the death of adults,

houses burnt and so on.

Despair and so on.

For the first time,
you see their suffering.

You understand their suffering

because you have suffered very much
the same kind of suffering.

The first time that you see
that they are victims like you.

You are not the only victim
of the conflict.

Suddenly,

you are capable of looking at them
in a different way.

Because you have seen their suffering,

you have understood their suffering,

suddenly there is compassion in your eyes.

And when you look at them with compassion,
you don't suffer anymore.

It is a miracle.

You don't want to punish them anymore.

You wish that they will not have
to suffer like that in the future.

It means that listening like that allows
compassion to be born in your heart.

You suffer less

when you listen,

when you understand
the suffering on the other side.

And you know that you have your chance
to tell them also about your suffering

so that you can help transform them.

They will not be angry at you

they will not be fearful of you anymore.

They will be able to remove
their wrong perceptions about you.

That is the practice of deep listening,
compassionate listening and loving speech

that they practice
beginning the second week.

And many of us,
coming from many countries,

we sit with them and offer
our collective energy for them.

The healing takes place.

People feel differently,

look differently, listen differently.

Slowly, they come together
and eat together.

They can hold hands
to do walking meditation together.

They create a new kind of energy.

(At the end) of the retreat,

they always come together as one group.

They reported to the whole sangha
about the progress they had made.

Before living Plum Village
they always promise

that once they go back to the Middle East

the will come together
to organize that kind of practice

so that other people can come
and practice and suffer less.

So it is very possible
that a number of us come together,

create a kind of island
of peace and understanding

and that island can grow.

This is what many of our friends
are trying to do in the Middle East.

Our Dharma teachers
go there from time to time

to offer a retreat.

If we can do it on a large scale,

I think there will be more hope.

If president Obama knows
how to organize a peace negotiation,

he will give both sides enough time

to calm down, to do sitting,
walking, breathing,

to calm down first before they negotiate.

You cannot negotiate peace if you are
still full of anger, fear and suspicion.

That is what we do in Plum Village,

helping them to calm down first,

to see each other as human beings
who have suffered like us

before we begin listening
to each other and talking.

Let us not give up our hope,

let us not allow despair to overwhelm us.
There is a way.

Many of us in many countries

are willing to support you

in this attempt to create
more mutual understanding

as the foundation of true peace.

(Bell)

(Bell)