The virginity fraud | Nina Dølvik Brochmann & Ellen Støkken Dahl | TEDxOslo

The hymen is still the most misunderstood and dangerous part of the female body. Nina Brochmann & Ellen Støkken Dahl will take you on a journey of what the hymen really is and what it still means to women across the world.

The author of the book The Wonder Down Under (Gleden med skjeden). Her mission is to empower young people through better sexual education and research-based information about their bodies.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

Nina Dølvik Brochmann: Like most of you,

we grew up believing
that the hymen is a proof of virginity,

but it turns out we were wrong.

What we discovered

is that the popular story
we're told about female virginity

is based on two anatomical myths.

The truth has been known
in medical communities

for over a hundred years.

Yet somehow, these two myths
continue to make life difficult

for women around the world.

Ellen Støkken Dahl:
The first myth is about blood.

It tells us that the hymen
breaks and bleeds

the first time a woman has vaginal sex.

In other words, if there is no blood
on the sheets afterwards,

then the woman was simply not a virgin.

The second myth
is a logical consequence of the first.

Since the hymen is thought
to break and bleed,

people also believe
that it actually disappears

or is in some way radically altered
during a woman's first intercourse.

If that were true,

one would easily be able to determine
if a woman is a virgin or not

by examining her genitals,
by doing a virginity check.

NDB: So that's our two myths:

virgins bleed and hymens are lost forever.

Now, this may sound
like a minor issue to you.

Why should you care about an obscure
little skinfold on the female body?

But the truth is

this is about so much more
than an anatomical misunderstanding.

The myths about the hymen
have lived on for centuries

because they have cultural significance.

They have been used as a powerful tool
in the effort to control women's sexuality

in about every culture, religion,
and historical decade.

Women are still mistrusted,
shamed, harmed,

and in the worst cases
subjected to honor killings

if they don't bleed
on their wedding night.

Other women are forced
through degrading virginity checks,

simply to obtain a job,
to save their reputation,

or to get married.

ESD: Like in Indonesia,

where women are systematically examined
to enter military service.

After the Egyptian uprisings in 2011,

a group of female protesters
were forced to undergo virginity checks

by their military.

In Oslo, doctors are examining
the hymens of young girls

to reassure parents
that their children are not ruined.

And sadly, the list goes on.

Women are so afraid not to live up
to the myths about the hymen

that they choose to use
different virginity quick fixes

to assure a bleeding.

That could be plastic surgery
known as revirgination;

it could be vials of blood
poured on the sheets after sex;

or fake hymens bought online,
complete with theater blood

and a promise to kiss
your deep dark secrets goodbye.

NDB: By telling girls
that no deed can be kept secret,

that their bodies
will reveal them, no matter what,

we have endowed them with fear.

Girls are afraid of ruining themselves,

either through sports, play,
tampon use, or sexual activity.

We have curtailed their opportunities
and their freedoms.

It's time we put an end
to the virginity fraud.

It's time we break the myths
about the hymen,

once and for all.

ESD: We are medical students,
sexual health workers,

and the authors
of "The wonder Down Under."

(Laughter)

That's a popular science book
about the female genitals.

And in our experience,
people seem to believe

that the hymen is some kind of a seal
covering the vaginal opening.

In Norwegian, it is even called
the virgin membrane,

and with this,
we picture something fragile,

something easily destructible,
something you can rip through,

perhaps like a sheet of plastic wrapping.

You may have wondered why
we brought a hoola hoop on stage today.

We'll show you.

(Laughter)

Now, it is very hard to hide

that something has happened
to this hoop, right?

It is different before
and after I punched it.

The seal is broken,

and unless we change the plastic
it won't get back to its intact state.

So if we wanted to do a virginity check
on this hoop, right here, right now,

that would be very easy.

It's easy to say that this hoop
is not a virgin anymore.

NDB: But the hymen is nothing
like a piece of plastic

you can wrap around
your food, or a seal.

In fact, it's more like this:

a scrunchie or a rubber band.

The hymen is a rim of tissue
at the outer opening of the vagina,

and usually it has a doughnut
or a halfmoon shape

with a large central hole,

but this varies a lot,
and sometimes hymens can have fringes,

it can have several holes,
or it can consist of lobes.

In other words, hymens naturally
vary a lot in looks,

and that is what makes it so hard
to do a virginity check.

ESD: Now that we know a bit more
about the hymen's anatomy,

it's time to get back to our two myths:

virgins bleed, hymens are lost forever.

But the hymen doesn't have
to break at all.

The hymen is like a scrunchie,
in function as well as in looks.

And you can stretch a scrunchie, right?

(Laughter)

You can stretch a hymen too;
infact, it's very elastic,

and for a lot of women,

the hymen will be elastic enough
to handle a vaginal intercourse

without sustaining any damage.

For other women, the hymen may tear a bit
to make room for the penis,

but that won't make it disappear,

but it may look
a bit different from before.

NDB: So where does that leave us
with our two myths?

Well, first of all,
if you have an elastic hymen,

you will simply never bleed from sex.

It doesn't matter
if you're a virgin or not.

It's an anatomical impossibility,

and that is the case for half of you -

except for the men amongst you, of course.

(Laughter)

So in other words, some virgins bleed,
but some simply don't,

and that's our first myth shattered.

It naturally follows

that you can't examine the hymen
to check for virginity status.

This was noted
over 100 years ago, in 1906,

by the Norwegian Dr. Marie Jeancet.

She examined a middle-aged sex worker

and concluded that her genitalia
were reminiscent of a teenage virgin.

But that makes sense, right?

Because, if her hymen
was never damaged during sex,

then what were we expecting to see?

ESD: Since hymens come
in every shape and form,

it is difficult to know

if a dent or a fold in it
is there because of previous damage,

or if it's just a normal
anatomical variant.

The absurdity of virgin testing

is illustrated in a study
done on 36 pregnant teenagers.

When doctors examined their hymens,

they could only find clear signs
of penetration in 2 out of the 36 girls.

So unless you believe
in 34 cases of virgin births,

(Laughter)

we must all agree that also our 2nd myth
has taken a vital blow.

You simply cannot look a woman
between her legs

and read her sexual story.

NDB: Like most myths,
the myths about the hymen are untrue.

There is no virgin seal
that magically disappears after sex,

and half the virgins
can easily have sex without bleeding.

We wish we could say
that by removing these myths,

everything would be okay;

that shame, harm and honor killings
would all just disappear,

but of course it's not that simple.

Sexual oppression of women
comes from something much deeper

than a simple anatomical misunderstanding
about the properties of the hymen.

It's a question of cultural and religious
control of women's sexuality.

And that is much harder to change,
but we must try.

ESD: As medical professionals,
this is our contribution.

We want every girl, parent,
and coming husband

to know what the hymen is,
and how it works.

We want them to know that the hymen
can't be used as a proof of virginity,

and that way, we can remove

one of the most powerful tools
used to control young women today.

After telling you this,

you may wonder what the alternative is.

For if we cannot use the hymen
as a proof of virginity for women,

then what should we use?

We opt for using nothing.

(Cheers)

If you -

(Applause) (Cheers)

If you really want to know
if a woman is a virgin or not,

ask her.

(Laughter)

But how she answers
that question is her choice.

Thank you.

(Applause)