Zed A. Shaw - The Web Will Die When OOP Dies

This video was filmed during The Web Rebels conference which took place on the 24-25th of May 2012 in Oslo, Norway. It is a non-profit conference for everyone who loves programming applications and services using web technology.

Track us:
http://webrebels.org | https://twitter.com/#!/web_rebels | http://lanyrd.com/2012/webrebels

Web Rebels 2012 would not be possible without our fine sponsors:
http://www.apdm.no | http://www.finn.no | http://arktekk.no | http://www.bekk.no | http://www.kodemaker.no | http://www.skalar.no | http://www.nokia.com | http://www.programutvikling.no | http://www.webstep.no | http://www.microsoft.com | http://www.opera.com | http://www.iterate.no | http://www.knowit.no | http://www.daldata.no | http://www.kantega.no | http://www.rim.com

All right.

All right!

So, how is everybody doing?

I am Zed Shaun, as you know

And those are 2 primary websites I am campaigning.

So you you will see that the entire time I am talking.

But that is not why I am actually here to talk about.

I am going to talk about, basicaly, bullshit.

I am gonna tell you, how I think the web sucks

despite the amazing amount of stuff you guys put together.

I was ford like some of the crap you guys are making are just amazing!

Reverse engeneer in flash!

Wow! That's like resurecting a mastodonte. That's just amazing!

It was amazing! Very cool technology.

But you're basing it on really awful stuff.

Not basing it, but... but you have it built on this pile of crap.

So let's begin.

I think the W3C as Voludeville Act.

So you might not know at Vouldeville is,

but is the old 1930's tcha, tcha, tcha, that kind of like... corny, like comedy

Basicaly, they are like that guy with a horn hat, throwing banana peels on the ground

And everybody else on the internet was passing by and swiping on them and laughing "ha, ha, ha"

Basically, most of the technology is kind of crap

So like SVG - barlely works is weird accent, its definition of how HML should actually work

XML - they don't really use XML in the sementic web anymore.

They just keep it around just to not have to admit that XML was a super bad idea

RDF - anyone actually uses RDF?

Yes, cause its sucks.

XHTML [laughs]

The Semantic Web - that's my favorite.

It seems that every other boom bust cycle in technology,

someone is trying to do some semantic web thing and it falls flat and then go off...

in a picture sharing frame, or something like that

So, the rest of the stuff, despite all the failures, sort of barely works.

So, you can get stuff done. You guys do amazing stuff.

But, it's kind of junky underneath it, right?!

Like, I hate HTML.

CSS is seriously the weirdest piece of technology ever invented. Is so bizarre.

Video that's never gonna happen.

There is so much bullshit, business crap and licensing... It just ain't...

Sound - I mean, I do music, I wanna make sound stuff,

I try to make it like sound synced with transitions... Just forget it

Someone came out of the library and they will try.

Uploads - how many people know that there is a new upload?

What? 10%? There is a new app. You don't even use Flash to upload anymore.

Nobody know that there is a new upload app that solves all the stuff you hate about upload.

Because they never told you about it! Stupid!!

And Java Script. I am sorry, but Java Script fucking sucks.

I fucking hate Java Script.

Any languange that can't do real math and store an image in a binary blob, is a broke language.

So, anyone seen Popcorn jas? Is 2000 lines of code that lets you do like sound transition.

Something that should just be simple, basic, right?

How about Candes? You can't make circles. Everyone goes: "oh yeah, you can"

Yeah, you're right... with art defining the radius and doing your own pi calculation.

When I see this, I think that some dud that wrote this was trying to teach his kid about pi.