How to Enable Children to Avoid Evil | Salman Asif Siddiqui | بچوں کو برائی سے بچنے کے قابل بنائا

Every human needs to learn and make an effort

to protect themselves from wrong.

When you see something wrong, how do you protect yourself?

Teach this to your children, help them learn this skill, this ability to avoid the wrong.

So how can we develop this wisdom in our kids?

It will be developed when you sit with them, give them time, and play with them.

When you play football and cricket with them just to do their Tarbiyah.

When for the sake of Tarbiyah you spend time with them, you listen to them, try to understand them..

Build a strong relationship with them.

You will talk a lot with them.

When you'll have this level of bonding with your kids,

then you can narrate to them the stories of the Prophets, tell them about Prophet Mohammad (PBUH),

only then all of this will actually benefit them.

But if the child gets irritated with you..

See, the person who we get irritated with,

we don't even want to eat our favorite food with their hands.

This is human nature.

And there's one thing that I often say, a bad person's, bad attitude or behavior

doesn't harm one as much as the good person's bad attitude or behavior. This is more harmful.

In fact at times, bad person's bad attitude or behavior proves to be beneficial in a given scenario.

For example, there's a bad person, he has bad attitude and is also away from religion, so people will say,

See, this is how non-religious people behave!

But if someone looks very religious and pious to us, but when we meet that person, their attitude is very bad.

See, if a non-religious person is behaving badly, the people seeing him will avoid being non-religious.

They'll avoid the bad person and also avoid being non-religious.

Am I clear here?

But if a good person adopts bad attitude..

one who loves religion, wants to follow it..

But attitude is not good..

Then he will push people away from him... and

people will also feel hate towards religion (which he planned to take the people towards to).

So work on your relationship, and try to become their favorite.

Stop trying to win arguments.

Try to win hearts.

You need to learn how to win hearts.

We need to talk to them.

And, while talking, I'd like to bring here 2 to 3 topics/subjects that you can talk on.

The story of Prophet Adam AS and the stories of prophets must be discussed.

The seerah (character) of the Prophet Mohammad PBUH, must be read continuously.

Continuously reflect and read Hadiths.

Continuously speak about good people, no matter its their grandmother, aunt, uncle, keep mentioning them.

I mean from the begining of time, from Prophets to date, whoever good people are,

Alham Dul Illah they're still there, tell children about them, talk about their goodness.

Don't backbite.

Then there should be a discussion on the difference of needs and wants.

What are needs?

What are wants?

Many people, often in science books talk about living and non-living things for many years.

Right now, we need to discuss more about the difference between being a human and being an animal.

In every educational subject, be it science, societies, Islamiat, and even math.

What's a human?

What's an animal?

The animal does this. Humans don't.

The humans do this. Animals don't do this.

Don't teach them living and non-living. It really doesn't matter.

Teach this instead.

So discuss these thinsg with your children.

Spend time.

Love them, hug them..

Say thank you to them..

Give them your love..

If your child, is avoiding wrong because your checks (level of monitoring) are extreme...

Then your child is actually NOT protected from the wrong.

If your child is avoiding wrong because they know if I do this, they'll get beaten up, or you'll get sad,

then your child has not yet reached a sustainable solution to avoid the wrong.

Does he himself has a will to avoid the wrong or not?

Does he understand what's right and what's wrong for him?

You have to bring this subject in, only by discussing it.

This is only possible if there's love and strong relationship already established.

Right now they're not talking.

Many children, come to their fathers today, when they need something.

When they need money.

Even their mothers.. they'd only come to the husbands when they need money..

Or husbands would come to their wives when they want to eat biryani.

Or there's some work.. they need somthing from them..

Now think, how many people in your family you have met to date.. without having a reason.. or ask..

There's was no reason..

Not even hiding in the heart..

Without a reason, you met your family members.

And in that meetup, you didn't have your mobile phone in your hands.

Without mobile phone and without any reason..

You met your family.

And this meetup lasted for half an hour..

Can you tell me about this meetup that you had recently?

Ask your family members this..

Ask everyone, if they can recall a meetup like this..

when I didn't have any work from you, and I didn't have my phone with me as well.

There was no reason, no incident, nothing for a specific reason,

and I didn't have my phone with me as well, and yet we met?

And it lasted for 30 minutes. Can they recall such a meetup?

Are you getting me?

Bring this experience to your life, and also increase its occurences.