ColorOf Fear part 1
-
0:01 - 0:04http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0484384/
-
0:04 - 0:10[ominous music in background, soundscape... sounds like a heartbeat]
-
0:45 - 0:46I asked for directions,
-
0:46 - 0:49and this guy gave me directions,
-
0:49 - 0:51and I noticed in his hand he had a knife,
-
0:51 - 0:52and he had the knife out,
-
0:52 - 0:54and that that knife was about this long...
-
0:54 - 0:57[another voice] He came up to me and he said
-
0:57 - 0:59"Let me see your license",
-
0:59 - 1:03and then he spit at my shoe.
-
1:03 - 1:04In Atlanta...
-
1:04 - 1:06one inch from my shoe...
-
1:06 - 1:12I mean, it felt like he was saying "motherfucker, make a move"...
-
1:12 - 1:14I was the only white worker
-
1:14 - 1:19got beat up and got it taken away...
-
1:22 - 1:25You look more white than we do...
-
1:25 - 1:29I may look more white but no way do I cross that line...
-
1:30 - 1:33...the fear is still there because I know it can happen...
-
1:33 - 1:34because it has happened,
-
1:34 - 1:36not to me...
-
1:36 - 1:38but to other people who look just like me...
-
1:38 - 1:41Another one went in the laundromat at another time,
-
1:41 - 1:42came up to me with a $10 bill
-
1:42 - 1:44and waved it in front of me, said
-
1:44 - 1:46"change? change?"
-
1:46 - 1:49and she was anunciating very carefully...
-
1:49 - 1:52we always _ you baby, always,
-
1:52 - 1:54every day.
-
1:54 - 1:57We ride up here... it's all oh man where are we now??
-
1:57 - 2:01oh god! I hate being out of the city!
-
2:01 - 2:03Because I know who's out here"
-
2:03 - 2:06You block your progress...
-
2:06 - 2:08I block my own progress?
-
2:14 - 2:15You know, as I look around this room,
-
2:15 - 2:20I realize, you know, the connection is really me,
-
2:20 - 2:23because I actually know each one of you in a very special way,
-
2:23 - 2:26some of you I just met actually.
-
2:26 - 2:29Each of you were picked very particularly,
-
2:29 - 2:30and it took time to do that.
-
2:30 - 2:32Each of you were picked for your honesty,
-
2:32 - 2:37and for your directness,
-
2:37 - 2:38and for your sincerity,
-
2:38 - 2:40and for the work that you do, too, on yourself.
-
2:40 - 2:44That's why I really wanted to have you on film.
-
2:44 - 2:45And your ethnicity?
-
2:45 - 2:48I am American.
-
2:48 - 2:52Generations back, we came from England and Denmark,
-
2:52 - 2:55but mostly when they got into America here,
-
2:55 - 2:59whatever happened, we got mixed up,
-
2:59 - 3:02so I'm American.
-
3:02 - 3:04A white American I guess.
-
3:04 - 3:08My father is Mexican, my mother is Irish.
-
3:08 - 3:13African, and, some ways back, Cherokee descent.
-
3:13 - 3:18I'm a 3rd generation Japanese American man.
-
3:18 - 3:22I'm 7th, at least 7th generation Euro-American.
-
3:22 - 3:27Um, I have family is, on both sides, is Scot,
-
3:27 - 3:30and on my father's side is also English and German.
-
3:30 - 3:34I'm uh, I'm Mexican.
-
3:34 - 3:36I'm Latino, I'm Mexican,
-
3:36 - 3:38a Mexican-American, I'm Chicano.
-
3:39 - 3:43I am Chinese, and I'm Chinese-American.
-
3:44 - 3:47I am an American also.
-
3:47 - 3:50I am an all-American man,
-
3:50 - 3:54and the reason I say that is that
-
3:54 - 3:58I was born here, educated here, and that makes me American.
-
3:58 - 4:03But I do always want to be identified as African-American or Black,
-
4:03 - 4:05not just an American.
-
4:05 - 4:06The reason why I'm here,
-
4:06 - 4:08and I'm glad to be here,
-
4:08 - 4:10is because I have a lot of anger,
-
4:10 - 4:12and this is a positive outlet for that anger.
-
4:12 - 4:15I could do a lot of destructive things,
-
4:15 - 4:19but that would be, that wouldn't be productive whatsoever.
-
4:19 - 4:24I'm here because, um, I'm a racist.
-
4:24 - 4:32And I've been working at it for, that being un-learning that, since '76.
-
4:32 - 4:36And I've still got it, and there's a lot of pain around that.
-
4:36 - 4:40And I'm nervous about being here, cause I don't know what's gonna happen.
-
4:40 - 4:42I think one of the ways I've survived racism
-
4:42 - 4:44is to be in complete control,
-
4:44 - 4:47and I'm not in complete control here [laughs].
-
4:47 - 4:48So I'm a little worried about that.
-
4:48 - 4:53And I'm just, y'know, trippin' on the, y'know, walkin' in here and seein' who was here.
-
4:53 - 4:56I didn't expect white men to be here.
-
4:56 - 5:02I'm a local boy, grown, raised right here in this small community,
-
5:02 - 5:04and when the subject of racism was mentioned to me,
-
5:04 - 5:07I found it extremely exciting
-
5:07 - 5:10because I grew up in this area,
-
5:10 - 5:13with friends of all races,
-
5:13 - 5:15and we would read in the news,
-
5:15 - 5:16see on the television,
-
5:16 - 5:19of racial struggles in other areas,
-
5:19 - 5:22and could not comprehend how that could be.
-
5:22 - 5:25Why they had to cause struggle and strife for each other.
-
5:25 - 5:29Why couldn't they be just like at home?
-
5:29 - 5:31Happy and productive together.
-
5:31 - 5:36Ad I don't think that anybody should be any less than another.
-
5:36 - 5:43Uh, I grew up in this area right alongside the Native Americans,
-
5:43 - 5:46and some of them to this day are my dearest friends,
-
5:46 - 5:50and ... I like their cultures, yes.
-
5:50 - 5:54And I even seek after artifacts from their history...
-
5:54 - 5:58but there's no struggle or strife,
-
5:58 - 6:00we don't cause it.
-
6:04 - 6:09In Chinese, y'know, the word "American" really means "white" to us;
-
6:09 - 6:14and uh, that's why today I actually will not use the word American either,
-
6:14 - 6:19because I do believe that it really does not incorporate all of us.
-
6:19 - 6:24That there really still is not that political, social, and economic equality.
-
6:24 - 6:29And when that day comes, I'll be the first to stand up and say "I'm an American,
-
6:29 - 6:31and stand with everyone".
-
6:31 - 6:35Uh, but until I feel that, I think that I'll always feel that I have to say Chinese,
-
6:35 - 6:38so that people know who I am.
-
6:38 - 6:403 years ago I went to Japan.
-
6:40 - 6:42I said, I gotta go find my roots,
-
6:42 - 6:46and find out who I really am.
-
6:46 - 6:49Applied for the passport, filling out the things,
-
6:49 - 6:54and ... nationality, it says "American".
-
6:54 - 6:58Said to my wife "I can't put down 'American', I'm not 'American'".
-
6:58 - 7:01She says "yeah, you're American, you gotta put down American".
-
7:01 - 7:03I said "I'm Japanese".
-
7:03 - 7:06You're not Japanese, you're American!
-
7:06 - 7:07And I said, I can't do that.
-
7:07 - 7:09I've never in my life claimed myself to be...
-
7:09 - 7:12and I just said, like, well I'm gonna put Japanese down.
-
7:12 - 7:14She says "you're not from Japan!"
-
7:14 - 7:16[laughing]
-
7:16 - 7:17you know?
-
7:17 - 7:19"You were born here, you're American"
-
7:19 - 7:23And... it just... I was just blown away by...
-
7:23 - 7:27y'know, for the first time I had to put that down,
-
7:27 - 7:28otherwise it would've been rejected,
-
7:28 - 7:30I had no choice in that.
-
7:32 - 7:37Do you think that we don't get excited as Americans
-
7:37 - 7:40when you say you are something other than just American?
-
7:40 - 7:45I got excited when Mun Wah said to us that he is Chinese American,
-
7:45 - 7:47why can't he be just American,
-
7:47 - 7:50and excited about being just American like David is?
-
7:50 - 7:52Wait a minute, I just...
-
7:52 - 7:56He calls himself an American...
-
7:56 - 8:00But I'm doing that for a very specific purpose...
-
8:00 - 8:06I'm doing it because I'm turning my identity as American
-
8:06 - 8:08to fight against the white supremacist notion
-
8:08 - 8:14that only white people merit the status of the title of American.
-
8:16 - 8:16Well I agree with that...
-
8:16 - 8:23I refuse to to be segregated to, or to be allocated to a lower status
-
8:23 - 8:26by not being recognized as an American.
-
8:27 - 8:30I like that attitude, and I think that's a correct and proper attitude...
-
8:31 - 8:37But I'm also Chinese and very proud of that,
-
8:37 - 8:41and for a person to look at me and say "you're just",
-
8:41 - 8:45for a white person to look at me and say "you're just like me, we're both American"
-
8:45 - 8:52totally insults me because it denies my identity as a Chinese person too.
-
8:53 - 8:56I feel in a sense that I have a claim to be American
-
8:56 - 8:58in ways that you don't.
-
8:58 - 9:01Because my people came from this continent.
-
9:01 - 9:05My ancestors came across the Bering Straight from Asia,
-
9:05 - 9:07and came down the coast,
-
9:07 - 9:11and on into central Mexico,
-
9:11 - 9:14and others of my ancestors came from Arabia,
-
9:14 - 9:20through Egypt, through north Africa, and into Spain.
-
9:20 - 9:25And then they all melted together in central Mexico.
-
9:25 - 9:28America is not the United States.
-
9:28 - 9:30America is the entire continent.
-
9:30 - 9:35But we think here, or Americans here think that America means just this country.
-
9:35 - 9:38And so I feel like I have, you know,
-
9:38 - 9:39I've been in kind of...
-
9:40 - 9:43I don't want to say "I have...",
-
9:43 - 9:44cause I don't feel it like that,
-
9:44 - 9:50but my people, the people that I come from,
-
9:50 - 9:53have been sort of robbed of that term.
-
9:53 - 9:54We're not Americans,
-
9:54 - 9:59even though WE ARE, [voice cracking]
-
10:00 - 10:06and, I don't know where that came from.
-
10:06 - 10:07I don't know where that came from,
-
10:07 - 10:20but, um, you know, when you say you know "I wish you would be American,
-
10:20 - 10:23or you would all agree to be American",
-
10:23 - 10:27you know what, what is presented to me as an American,
-
10:27 - 10:29does not look like me,
-
10:29 - 10:31does not think like me,
-
10:31 - 10:33does not smell like me,
-
10:33 - 10:35does not cry like me,
-
10:35 - 10:38does not play like me.
-
10:38 - 10:39So for me to say that,
-
10:39 - 10:41to use that as my primary identification,
-
10:41 - 10:44for me, it means to deny
-
10:44 - 10:47all, nearly all of me.
-
10:49 - 10:51I worked in corporate America for awhile,
-
10:51 - 10:54and now when I see guys walkin' down the street in a suit and tie,
-
10:54 - 10:59I'm like whew, I bet he can't wait to go home and become a black man again.
-
10:59 - 11:02You know?
-
11:02 - 11:05Because you're not allowed to be a black man in corporate America.
-
11:05 - 11:07Walk through some halls with some pride,
-
11:07 - 11:08you're gonna scare some people.
-
11:08 - 11:10Show that you have some intelligence,
-
11:10 - 11:12you scare people.
-
11:12 - 11:13You gotta shuffle.
-
11:13 - 11:16It's a 1993 shuffle, but it's still a shuffle.
-
11:17 - 11:20You give us a hard time for being white,
-
11:20 - 11:21and being American,
-
11:21 - 11:23and being in control.
-
11:23 - 11:26I've never felt in control.
-
11:26 - 11:30I had vineyards, and pear orchards for many years,
-
11:30 - 11:33and I employed many of your people,
-
11:33 - 11:34if you wish to call them that,
-
11:34 - 11:35they're my dear friends,
-
11:35 - 11:37to me they are friends,
-
11:37 - 11:41equal to any that I would have.
-
11:44 - 11:46And I greet them,
-
11:46 - 11:50and now they come into my business and they just want to come in and say hi and talk to me.
-
11:51 - 11:53There is something different that's happened.
-
11:54 - 11:57What's different that's happened for us,
-
11:57 - 11:59and I'm speaking as a people,
-
12:00 - 12:02borders on genocide,
-
12:02 - 12:04takeover,
-
12:04 - 12:05colonization,
-
12:05 - 12:07you know what happenes to me when I pass a mission?
-
12:07 - 12:09Yknow?
-
12:09 - 12:13Not the same thing that happens to every group that passes a mission.
-
12:13 - 12:14There's something different.
-
12:14 - 12:18When I hear Father Junipero Serra, what do you think I think of?
-
12:18 - 12:19You know?
-
12:19 - 12:20It's not...
-
12:20 - 12:23it's chopping off hands,
-
12:23 - 12:24it's slavery,
-
12:24 - 12:27I mean, you know, that's what's different,
-
12:27 - 12:32and it gets tiring to not have that difference known.
-
12:32 - 12:36It gets tiring to not have that difference acknowledged,
-
12:36 - 12:39and to have to keep talking about it.
-
12:39 - 12:42That's what gets tiring.
-
12:42 - 12:50So I see here an attitude expressed by Yutaka and by Roberto
-
12:50 - 12:53that says how can I be an American? I can't.
-
12:53 - 12:55And so I won't.
-
12:55 - 13:00I'm going to cling to my heritage.
-
13:00 - 13:02Is this clinging the problem?
-
13:02 - 13:06Is this belief that you cannot become American the problem?
-
13:06 - 13:11For years, I've said why do these guys have such a problem being a colour?
-
13:11 - 13:13Why can't they just be individuals?
-
13:13 - 13:15And go out and make a place for themselves?
-
13:15 - 13:20And I hear you saying that we whites don't allow that.
-
13:20 - 13:23That we keep you down,
-
13:23 - 13:24why aren't we just humans?
-
13:24 - 13:26I mean, why aren't we just... brothers?
-
13:26 - 13:34There's a certain um, um, sort of, silent consciousness
-
13:34 - 13:37about what it mean to be American,
-
13:37 - 13:41that I sense coming from, uh. white folks,
-
13:41 - 13:42that I'd like to talk about.
-
13:42 - 13:44But before I do that,
-
13:44 - 13:47I'd like to say one more thing that's tired about talking about racism,
-
13:47 - 13:50and that is that, uh, you know,
-
13:50 - 13:53people of colour are spilling their guts,
-
13:53 - 13:58and "doing education" uh, to white people.
-
13:58 - 14:00"Let me explain to you how you got this wrong...
-
14:00 - 14:01let me explain to you how you got that wrong...
-
14:01 - 14:03let me explain..."
-
14:03 - 14:04and then we get cross-examined,
-
14:04 - 14:08and it's like "well, maybe you're problem is ... bababababa???"
-
14:08 - 14:12And it's always, you know, racism gets looked at as a person of colour's problem,
-
14:12 - 14:14and it's not.
-
14:14 - 14:16You know, we're like on the receiving end of the problem,
-
14:16 - 14:18but we are not the problem.
-
14:18 - 14:20Y'know, I walk in a world where, uh,
-
14:20 - 14:25where black people, where Latinos, where Asians, where Arabs,
-
14:25 - 14:32all these different people are... experienced as problem people,
-
14:32 - 14:35and that "well, we're gonna deal with the...with the person of colour problem..."
-
14:35 - 14:40when in fact, uh, racism is essentially a white problem.
-
14:40 - 14:44And that for you to understand what racism is about,
-
14:44 - 14:46you're gonna be so uncomfortable,
-
14:46 - 14:49you're gonna be so different from who you see yourself to be now,
-
14:49 - 14:54that uh, you know, there's just no way for you to get it from where you're sitting.
-
14:54 - 14:56And I'm not saying that you could not ever get it,
-
14:56 - 15:00I mean that you need to step outside of your skin,
-
15:00 -and step out...
- Title:
- ColorOf Fear part 1
- Description:
-
(1994)
Eight North American men, two African American, two Latinos, two Asian American and two Caucasian were gathered by director Lee Mun Wah, for a dialog about the state of race relations in America as seen through their eyes. The exchanges are sometimes dramatic, and put in plain light the pain caused by racism in North America. - Video Language:
- English
- Duration:
- 15:01
Radical Access Mapping Project edited English subtitles for ColorOf Fear part 1 | ||
Radical Access Mapping Project added a translation |