British Guy Reviews the WILDEST American Cereals

- Guten Morgen.

Good morning.

They're the only two languages
in there, good morning.

Bon morn. (laughs)

Yeah, it's the morning because
today, oh, I'm wearing suit.

I'm wearing a suit because
today's subject matter

is very important to my heart,

and I figured my clothes
should reflect that feeling.

I'm gonna be sharing a very
sacred moment with you,

which is my breakfast.

In the UK, if you head
down the cereal aisle

with your little trolley,

you're not gonna see that
many exciting things.

Honestly, we're a bit
weak on the cereal scale.

There's a few God Tier stuff,

but generally, British people are like,

"Oh, it's got berries in it.

"How wild."

Well, in the America, the America,

there's stuff like French Toast Crunch,

Sour Patch Kids cereal, Hot Dog Pops.

I invented that one.

They're a fun experience.

Thankfully, I found a UK store

which stocks lot of the American cereals.

So today, I thought I would review them,

share my feelings, have
a chat with you guys,

and get generally high off a
ridiculous amount of sugar.

I've got this tiny
little, calm down, bowl.

I figured nine bowls of this (laughs)

probably equal to about
three normal cereal bowls,

which is my average breakfast portion.

I've got a little glass of
milk to season them with.

I put some actual ice
cubes in there as well

to keep the milk fridge temperature

because no one wants warm milk.

Also I wanna be fair to the cereal

and give it the best possible.

(bottle clinks)
chance.

(upbeat rock music)

So first up, we have Little
Debbie Cosmic Brownies cereal.

I mean, the last time I was
offered a Cosmic Brownie,

it was in a park in San Francisco,

so I do not think this is the same.

Is Little Debbie high?

Maybe, (laughs) don't sue me.

Crispy brownie puffs with rainbow chips.

This is why I love America.

Make it a food that already
exist into a cereal.

How high for Little Debbie.

She says gay rights.

♪ Get your brownies out for the lads ♪

(sad, distorted horn blares)

Oh, that's disappointing.

(laughs) They do not look like that.

Oh, we need some for
rainbow in there, guys.

I don't care, just fill it with E numbers.

I'll eat them.

Maybe they'll glisten more
when they're floating in milk,

much like me.

That is about to be me right now.

(plastic bag crinkles)

Oh, Debbie, your bag is tight.

(breathes heavily) Oh,
that does not smell good.

It kinda smells like a musty
basement. (breathes heavily)

It kinda smells like a wet garden

(laughs) or a cleaning product.

Get in my bowl, glug, glug, bitch.

Yeah, these cosmic
sprinkles are underwhelming.

I thought it'd be like gay pride,

but it's just like gay Tuesday.

Why am I nervous?

It's literally a cereal.

Okay, here we go. (crunches on cereal)

Hmm, hmm.

Generic chocolatey taste.

They taste a thousand times
better than they smell.

I don't know what smell
they pumped into there,

but the taste is pretty good.

It's kinda got that weak flavor

like Wheatos or something

that kinda wants to be chocolate,

but it's not fully there, but
it's also kind of addictive,

and I wanna (crunches on cereal.)

It's already getting a
bit mushy in the milk.

Based on the smell and
the taste and the texture,

underwhelming gay representation,
I'm gonna give it a five.

(upbeat Latin music)

- [Female Voiceover] Five.

- Next up, it's Minecraft Creeper Crunch,

which hopefully be more successful

than our attempt at playing Minecraft.

(soft tapping)

Nothing's happening.

What are you?

It is cinnamon flavor cereal
with Creeper marshmallows.

I do love me a bit of cinnamon.

It gives me kind of warm
toasty, grandma vibes.

Not that I'm cooking
the grandma, you know,

it's just like a hug from a
grandma up your nose. (laughs)

Let's get in it.

Woo, those green marshmallows
are a satisfying color.

I thought they might've lied on the box,

and they'd be a bit.

(cereal rattles in bag)
crap.

(sniffs in bag sharply)

Ooh, it smells like a
delicious Christmas candle.

Right, let's get in here, lads.

The marshmallows are a kinda
reminding me of cooked peas,

which is making it
slightly less appetizing.

Milk them.

It's got a good marshmallowy
chunk. (crunches on cereal)

Woo, very cinnamony,
but good marshmallows.

I thought a video game
cereal would taste like crap,

but it's pretty nice.

The actual Minecraft blocks on their own

are a bit less good.

You definitely need a
marshmallow with every bite,

which I don't think you'll get
with the ratio in that bag.

So that's a downside, so
overall, it's getting a six.

(upbeat Latin music)
- [Female Voiceover] Swix.

- Next up, we got Eggos.

I didn't know what the frick an Eggo was

until "Stranger Things obviously
made them super famous,

but it is a maple-flavored
home-style waffle cereal edition.

Waffles is one of my favorite
things about going to America.

And now, we've got
waffles by the thousands.

There's a word search.

All right, first word I see represents

the rest of my year, syrup.

Do I wanna know?

Do you wanna know? (laughs)

I dunno, right.

Let's get in the Eggos.

Hello.

Ooh, they do cook. (vocalizes gibberish)

They look kinda waffley, I like it.

I think that's great.

In the great waffles
versus pancake debate,

I'm back on team pancake.

I know waffles have ridges,

and it kind of absorbs the syrup better,

but I think a pancake
is still a better flav.

You can already smell the maple
syrup coming out in the bag,

so that is an ideal start.
(heavy panting)

Ooh, that smells good.
(cereal rattles in bag)

Jesus Christ, it's like (pants)

Sniffing that is like a nose guzzing.

Compared to this (gaga) nightmare scent,

this is absolutely, I wish we
had smell-o-vision right now.

It's just like pure maple
syrup, sugary deliciousness.

All right, let's get
a few of you in there.

(canned crowd clamor)

Go on, lads, glug, glug.

A big chunk of ice just fell
into the cereal. (laughs)

Might improve it.
(object thuds heavily)

Speaking of "Stranger
Things," when is it back?

I feel like it's been so long.

I know COVID ruined everything,

but still, I'm just ready for more 11.

Right, here we go. (crunches on food)

(spoon clinks in bowl)

Oh my God, they taste like they smell.

That's what I was hoping.

That is so good.

Holy shisa.
(upbeat electronic ding)

These MF-er's are good.

They got good crunch,
good maple syrup flavor,

satisfying texture, and
they look like mini waffles.

This is getting a nine.

They've turned one of my
favorite breakfast foods

into another of my
favorite breakfast foods,

and I couldn't be happier. Why
do we have these in the UK?

British people would be like,

"Ooh, Cuthbert, my
taste buds are singing."

No, they're just gonna stick
with our Weetabix in sad town.

(upbeat Latin music)
- [Female Voiceover] Neen.

- Woo, I'm feeling the sugar now.

(laughs) Oh my God.

I just need a second to
process all of the things

I just put inside myself.

That came out wrong.

I recently went up north to film a thing

for my YouTube channel,

which is gonna be coming
out autumn, winterish time.

Anyway, I got to stay in
a hotel for part of that.

And it was one of those days

where the shoot call time is six a.m.

So I was like, I'm gonna
get a good night's sleep.

Gonna go to bed at 12, wake up at six,

that's all right, I'll cope with that.

Finally drifted off to sleep.

I was a bit excited and anxious

'cause this is such a
big shoot and everything.

I was awoken in the middle
of the night to a couple.

They were having, I don't
wanna get demonetized,

(turtle squealing)

(laughs) in the alley
outside my hotel room.

In that two seconds, I
pretty much saw everything,

and they were in a
position where one of 'em

was looking right up at my windows.

I was like, (claps hands)
shut the curtains again.

I was ready to call security and be like,

"Can you shut these two people up?"

But thankfully, it was a
very short-lived event.

I mean, each to their own.

Just don't do outside
someone's bedroom window,

Brenda and Steve.

Kinda put myself off my
breakfast telling that story,

but (laughs) I'm ready for the next one,

which I should have first, Jesus.

It is Dunkin Caramel Macchiato.

It's a coffee-flavored cereal.

We don't have Dunkin Donuts in the UK.

I think I had a couple
when we were on tour.

Made with coffee concentrate, oh my God.

So I'm actually gonna get my coffee

in the form of a breakfast cereal.

It looks very pleasing on the box.

Is it gonna match in reality?

Hmm, ooh, actually,
the little marshmallows

are quite swirly and pleasing.

Look at these boys.

I wanna get that one right in my mouth.

Oh my God, that smells good.

That smells like a (sniffs in sharply)

That smells (pants heavily)

I know it's kinda surprised Pikachu,

but that actually smells
like a caramel macchiato.

I was not expecting.

Immediately, my hopes are high now.

Get a bit more of you
marshmallow boys into my bowl.

Why do I keep referring to them as boys?

Do I need to talk to someone? I dunno, um.

Holy coffee-oly.

That is frickin' amazing.

What the hell?

I opened the door and the
breeze rolled in and I, mm.

Right, so firstly, you get
hit by a strong coffee flavor.

Then the marshmallows have got
a nice caramelly undertone.

So together, it does taste
like a caramel matty,

mackey-hotto.

Oh my God, that is good.

Dunkin', you've done it.

You've Dunkin' done it.

It's beat the Eggos.

That is getting a 10, guys.
(canned children cheering)

We got a 10.

I feel like I just saw God,

and He was drinking a cup of coffee.

(upbeat jazzy music)

- [Female Voiceover] It's a bloody 10.

- Pokemon, the serial.

I can't believe they murdered
so many innocent Pokemon

to make the cereal.

The flavor is very Berry
Bolt, which is not a thing.

Who's your favorite star on the back?

Obviously Bulbasaur.

Did they ever actually like Snivy?

Be honest.

Contains bioengineered food ingredients.

Yeah, 'cause they crush a
fricking Pikachu to make it.

I don't think I'm gonna like this.

I don't really like berry flavor

or fruit in cereals generally,
but I'll give it a go.

(dramatic music)

I'm not really sure about
the color combinations.

Does that really go?
(upbeat music)

All right, sniff test.
(sniffs bag sharply)

That's so weird, that
doesn't smell of anything.

(sniffs bag sharply)

Why doesn't that smell of anything?

That's so bizarre. Okay, if
put your nose right against it,

there's a vague, fake berry
smell, but really weak.

If there is a smell at all.

Oh my God.

I don't have high hopes for this,

but you might surprise me, Pokemon.

Here we go.
(objects clinks)

(dramatic music)

I think the Dunkin' Donut cereal

completely eradicated all my taste buds,

or this just doesn't
really taste that strong.

It's got a very, very mild berry taste.

It's a fun idea, but if we're
comparing video game cereals,

Minecraft wins.

I'm gonna give that a four.

(video game music)
- [Female Voiceover] Fwer.

- Next up, we've got the cereal
with the longest name ever.

It is Cinnamon Toast
Crunch Chocolate Churros.

I love this idea.

It's another food turned into a cereal,

and we got a little mascot.

I feel like we've been
lacking in the mascots

with these cereals.

Didn't something happened with
Tony the Tiger and furries?

Like furries adopted him

and was drawing Tony the Tiger in fan art?

And then Tony was like,
"No, I'm not into that."

Then was it the Cheetos
Cheetah that was like,

"I'm totally a furry, bring it on."

Or was this all a weird
dream I had, I dunno.

Something quite haunting about that image.

I can already see a satisfying
amount of cinnamon sugar

on the outside of these.

(milk burbling)

I feel like toys in cereal

was such an essential part of childhood

the kids now are missing
out on, which is sad.

Remember that joy of getting
those little stickers

or whatever in your cereal?

I guess it was a massive waste of plastic

and killing the planet, but you know,

(creepy animal murmurs)
that is pretty great.

I'm not gonna lie.

We got chocolate.

We got cinnamon. You
got a good crunch to it.

There's a chemically aftertaste, actually,

which I haven't had with
most of the other cereals.

(woman gasps)
That's a disappointment.

I was hoping this was gonna
be like an eight or a nine.

(spoon clinks)
(crunches on cereal)

I think I'd rather just
eat the dessert than this.

So that's gonna get a seven.

(upbeat Latin music)
- [Female Voiceover] Sweben.

- I'm actually feeling
my oats in the suits

though you might have noticed

I've not posted many Instagram grid posts

during the pandemic, basically.

It's been weird, whenever
I've taken a picture,

I've just looked at it and said,

"I don't like what I look like
in that. "Don't like that."

And it's just one of those things

where you gotta take a
step back and be like,

"I'm being overly
critical of my appearance

"when nobody really cares."

I'm not saying I'm gonna
post more on Instagram.

I'm just gonna try and be
a bit less harsh on myself,

but actually putting this suit on,

I looked in the mirror, I was like,

"Actually, you're quite
a handsome young chap"

'cause I've just been
schlepping around the house

in sweatpants and old t-shirts.

So I think it might help my self esteem

if I just put some nice
clothes on every now and again,

even if I'm just doing a Zoom.

All right, the final (laughs) cereal,

I can't believe this
exists, is Crayola Cereal.

What, what is happening?

I feel like I've just stepped
into another universe.

They're like, "Yeah, time
to eat your crayons, kids."

Wonder if they taste of crayons?

What even are these?

They are (laugh) jazzberry flavored.

Is that a real thing?

Okay, I just checked jazzberry,

and the only thing that
appeared was this cereal.

So I think they made it up.

This is like a Mad Libs.

Is it gonna taste of crayons?

Did you ever eat crayons as
a kid? I ate a few. (laughs)

Maybe it will have a similar delicacy.

Don't disappoint with the colors, guys.

Wow, all right, that's impressive.

This one is the most pleasing to the eyes

out of all the cereals that I've had.

What does a jazzberry smell like?

(plastic bag crinkles)
Let's find out.

(sniffs bag sharply) Ooh, see,
that was what I was expecting

from the Pokemon.

That is a, woo-hoo,

that is a very strong, fake, fruity smell.

I was trying to get one of the Ricola.

I'm on my 9th bowl of cereal
and I'm still enjoying myself.

I thought I'd be like,
(exhales) "Can't take any more,"

but I'm kind of like,
mm, time for another.

(crunches on cereal) Ooh!

(dramatic music)

No, mm, mm-mm. (gags)

(laughs dryly) That was
just what I expected,

like the most fake, chemically fruity.

What fruit is that?

There's definitely a jazzberry

'cause that tastes fricking weird.

It's like a bit of raspberry

and then maybe a bit bananary,

and then maybe a bit of citrus,

but very chemically, and so strong,

it's like I've been slapped in
the face by an air freshener.

If you like tropical,
fruity-flavored cereals,

I think you'd like this,
but I'm definitely more

on the chocolatey, cinnamon spectrum.

My review is a three out of 10.

Honestly, I would rather eat crayons.

But (laughs) if you're
into the fruitiness,

I think you might give
it a six or a seven.

(dramatic music)
- [Female Voiceover] Ta-ree.

(video game warning chime)

- Oh my God, I had the
golden pig out for this video

'cause Dan took it away and
now he's gone and hid it again.

And I just noticed.

Oh, where's the?

Yes, this is what I'm wearing
underneath the suit. (laughs)

I didn't think I'd be standing up.

Look at that in the cupboard
of shame. (pig grunts)

Come back, my child. How did
I not notice that was missing

for most of the video?

Okay, as I am a true scientist,

there's only one thing left to do,

combine them all.

I'm gonna do a severe NyGod.

I'm gonna put a little bit
of each cereal into the bowl

and try and describe the flavor.

(upbeat music)

Got my perfect spoon of everything.

Bottoms up, lads, um.

(spoon clinks in bowl)
Oh my God.

What is happening to my mouth?

Oh, oh, that does not work.

The coffee of the Dunkin'
Donuts is mixing with the fruit.

Know if you have an apple
after having a coffee,

it's just created that disgusting flavor?

That is not a mix that you wanna make.

So I'm getting an aftertaste
of maple syrup though.

That's nice.

Thank you, ghost of the Eggo flavoring.

That gets a minus three out of 10.

- [Female Voiceover] Minus ther-ay.

Well, that is more sugar than
I've ever had in my life.

I feel slightly dizzy, a little bit ill,

but I'm glad I shared
my breakfast with you.

So I might go eat a banana or something,

so my body doesn't completely shut down.

Thanks for watching.

If you enjoyed this weird cereal review,

give me a thumbs up.

I can do it again.

There's loads of weird cereals out there.

I invite you all to
check out my last video

where you guys roasted my outfits.

I'm surprised I'm wearing formal wear

after the Teen Awards incident.

Also subscribe if you're new.

You wanna see more of this face.

I mean, I don't blame you
if you don't, (laughs)

and I hope you having a good day.

Enjoy whatever you have
next for breakfast.

Hopefully, it's less cursed
than what I just put in my mouth

and I'll see you very soon, goodbye.