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What's up, MTV? Come on in you broke mother fuckers. See how I'm livin'. Ah-Ah.
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What your stepping on is a marble foyer that was cut out of none other than Space Mountain - very rare.
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Like this Coat? White panda. Hulk Hogan choked one out for me in China for my birthday.
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It's reversible. This side is bald eagle. Look at my chandelier, it's 2 million dollars.
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It's made out of expensive chicken dinners I've eaten over the years in baller ass restaurants.
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Come with me. Haa!
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You'll notice here, these are some African statues. I don't really fuck with Africa because people
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are starvin' to death and that's not baller to me! Come on, mother fucker!
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Now, it's time to see my shoe collection. You know ballers love nice shoes.
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Everybody got they dunks and they Jordan's or whatever it is they wearin',
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But see, I like to cut the middle man. Fuck shoe closets. I got my own sweatshop, nigga. God damn!
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I got these bitches workin' 16 hours straight!
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The heart of every house is the kitchen, right?
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What's that you say? You're a fan of archeology? Right here on the bottom shelf you might recognize
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this as a tyrannosaurus rex egg. There's only two of these left in the world! Each of these bitches
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is 4 million years old, a piece son! God damn! Rare! Very hard to find!
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And I happen to have both of them.
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Oh God! Woo-wee! That smell wild! Damn fool! God damn!
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It's pulsing! 4 million year old meat, nigga! God damn that shit smells wild!
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I don't think this is gonna be enough for everybody. I'm gonna get one more of these eggs.
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Y'all wanna eat some dinosaur, nigga? Let's try it out.
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Damn that shit stinks! Woo!
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Oh my God, it's, it's what? I swear to - Run! It's hatchin'!
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Oh shit! Ladies and gentlemen this a 4 million year old egg - shh.
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Come on, girl. Push. Life. Life is happenin'. Ladies and gentlemen, the first T-Rex that the world
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has seen in 4 million years is happenin' in my home!
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This is the most baller shit EVER! Hahaha!
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Yes, yes. I just wish I had - my scissors! Oh! I'm hungry, bitch, I'm hungry! Oh!
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Oh nigga that tastes baller! Oh!
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Oh, hold up! Recipe ain't right, less I make it right. This here is diamonds.
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I sprinkle diamonds on everything I eat. Two reasons, one is it's the most baller shit
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you can possible do to your food and two, makes my dukey twinkle, man!
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Cuz it's baller! Baller! Thanks for comin' by, Cribs!
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[Cheers and whistles]
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We'll be back with more Chappell Show after these messages!
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Thank ya'll for lettin' us come in your household. Every fuckin' one.
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And most of all, thanks for helping us put closure to a great moment in comedy.
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That's coming from the heart from everybody involved with the show.
