HELLUVA BOSS - Murder Family // S1: Episode 1

I was a good person before it all went down

I was good my entire life

Good morning!

I hope you all did your homework

We love to do our homework

And we love our teacher too

Then when I throw off these fun questions

you should know just what to do

Okay!

Two plus six is...
Eight

And good behavior
Great!

And it's now that part of the class
when we say the time of day and date

It's nine in the morning
On January eight

The sun it's out smiling

And it's your husband's birthday

Oh my stars!

Stop singing children

Hush up now

I forgot it's my husband's birthday

I didn't get him anything special

Maybe if we call him we could do
a happy birthday surprise

Oh yeah, like that
We're not gonna use this

That's actually my asshole, but I don't care!

Wait!

Mrs. Mayberry, remember what you told us?

Think before you act

Okay, oh yeah...OH SHIT, sweetie...
What are you doing here?

Shut up Jerold!

You scream like a bitch!

Oh god, what have you done?

S-she had a family!

We could have had a family

We..no no no!

Oh dear god what have I done?

In front of you all

I'm so sorry my children

Don't forget to work on your time stable

You do everything right in life

Play by all the rules

And still get sent down here with all the
Hitler's and Epstein's of the world

After one measly massacre propelled by blind rage

So that's why I'm here

To get my revenge

I mean, was she hotter?

I'm just saying I had an hard time

understanding the unpromped melodrama

you just spat at me, tits

Anyway...

Yeah, i don't think you quite understand

how we're operating down here

See, we take revenge out on the living

and it sounds like the core cast of your

sitcom of the death, frankly,
are all probably down here in hell

with you - boop

Not all of them

That whore survived

Now they all call her a hero

How does it feel to have survived such a crazy bitch?

I just hope that sick woman

finally found peace

You are so brave! Here's two million dollars

Oh, thank you!

Between the talk-shows and donation bullshit she made

so much goddamn cash

Getting shot was the best thing to happen to her

You're a hero!

You're a hero, girl

My mom is a hero

She is a hero!

Hn hn hn, you're a hero

You're a hero

You're a hero!

Oh oh oh, you're a hero

She's not a hero!

M-mh, yeah, ok, yeah, my thoughts exactly

Moxxie, stop shaking

You're gonna shoot our only hellhound

Wow, I feel so loved here

Just take a deep breath

And let it out

But...it's a family

Under what circumstances would we ever
need to kill a human family?

I mean, if that's what the client wants...

Maybe like a shitty dad, or a mob family

That's understandable

But to eradicate an entire innocent - seemingly in this

instance - upper middle-class family bloodline?

Hey! You don't know they're innocent

This kid probably sets dogs on fire

Maybe this girl gets off to bullying australian kids online

And this guy...

This guy definitely watches

Exactly!

Humans are full of secret nasties

It's why so many of them end up here

But-
Guilty or innocent aren't our business Mox

Killing who we're paid to IS our business

Shoot the target

I just think it's a bit excessive and

we could be a bit more selective, is all

Guys, I want you to meet-

-our newest client

Dammit Moxxie!

I just bought those eels!

Bye!

And don't worry we'll get that skank in less than 24 hours

or your first kill is free

When did we start implementing that deal?

When you set fire to my office

in front of a client, you fucking dipshit!

Now someone please tell me that fancy book is still intact

You mean our only ticket to the other side?

Yeah, got it

And that's why you're my favourite, Looney

You get a treat now

Ew, stop

You're so gross!

Aw stop! I get enough of that from my therapist

Now let's go lick some ass

The expression is "kick some ass", Blitzo

Mine's better

Ow fuck

That's gotta be her

This is too easy

Moxxie, you want this one?

Me?

Yeah, this one is simple enough for you to handle

Just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital

Snooze, you loose, Mox

And I got ya, bitch

Wait, are we actually killing a family??

No, don't be a puss, we're just killing a mother

We're ruining a family

But! Hold on, hold on! Let's just think about-

What was that, Ralphie?

I don't know, Martha. But whatever it is

they're gonna be tomorrow night's dinner

All right kids, guns out

Looks like we got some rabbits to catch, youngins

What the fuck was that, Moxxie?

I'm sorry! They just seemed so wholesome and happy

I panicked

Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie?

From the moment of birth you're already a parasite
leeching off your mama's tits

Get the fuck over yourself, you baby dick-

AH! A new hole!

Skitter!

Where did you go, little creature

Y'all can't hide long from me

Oh! Well, hello little ones

Ain't you cute?

It's nice to have a new creature to play with

Oh...crumbs

I know you're hurt poor little devil

I promise I can make that pain go real quick

Just come with mama Martha

Put a bullet in your pretty little skull!

Goddammit

Stolas, this is a really bad time!

Mh, when isn't it a bad time, Blitzy?

What is it?

I've been meaning to follow up on our last little conversation
regarding my grimoire

What did you just called me?

My book, Blitzy

The book I was given to do my job

That I have allowed you to use to do yours

I can hear you, darling

Shit!

Anywho, I've been thinking...

you know I've been permitting you

to access the mortal realm less than legally
for some time now,

but I do need it back to fulfill my duties

I was thinking: what if we work out some kinf of exchange?

Favours for favours

Doesn't that sound enticing?

You gotta stop using your fancy-ass-rich-people talking, okay?

I'm trying to contentrate on not getting fucket in my eye-!

Then let me keep it simple:

Once a month, on the full moon

you return the book to me,

followed by a night of passion and fornication

Aaand you get to keep it all the rest of the time, mh?

Sound fair, my little imp?

Fine! Whatever

Oh Blitzo! I'm so excited

I can not wait to fill you slimy +++ inside of my +++ then +++

Gotcha!

So you're a real devil, uh? Came to drag me and my kind to Hell?

Well, not today Satan!

Gonna send y'all back where you came from

Millie!

I had that fucking shot

god dammit Moxxie!

Satan, we return your filthy creatures

back to the pits of Hell

May the root of evil remain honored

as we continue thy work

Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, lady, sorry

Your fire doesn't really hurt us

But I mean, I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard

How? Shit

Well, I'll just shoot in your smartass mouth

That would be more effective
Blitzo!

Moxxie!

You're not getting your goddamit paycheck for this one, Mox

Oh yeah, thanks! I'm fine

I'm sorry, sir

I compromised our objective

and put us in harm's way

It won't happen again, I promise

Apology accepted

But if you ever pull a stunt like this again

I will fuck you and your wife

All rightey, job well done, now let's get off

Ehh yeah, give me a moment

I need to get something I left at that house

Okay, fine, but hurry up

Loona! We're ready to come home dear

[...while you and I +++ jelly sandwitches all night...]

Don't move

What are you gonna do, little guy?

Kill us?

I should. You people are monsters

But...you should have a chance at a life and a purpose

Look at your children: they have their all future ahead of them

You are going to face your crimes justly

I will call your earthly authorities

and they will make sure you are dealt with fairly

I'm handling this my way

Oh shit

Do you, eh...

have a phone to summon 911?

That's in the kitchen

Then...what's this for?

It's a universal remote. Got it for the kids

There he is

Had a good wank-off session, Moxxie?

Excuse me?

Look, I don't care where you come in the living world

just come to your job on time

All right, see you at the office

You're doing okay, sweetie?

Better now, honey. I think I just needed a minute to precess

You have a good heart, honey

Just a fuzzy head

We got you! Police!

Did you see? My little Mox-Moxxie did it! Oh Moxxie

Well, here's to another mission accomplished
And Moxxie finally learned not to fuck up

And killing people isn't that big deal

if they try to kill you back

That's messed up

But I paid for it

Yeah, fuck that family