Instant Gratification!!!

Happy Friday! Jen Pastiloff here.

I have not made a "Don't be an asshole"

video in -- woo! Don't be an asshole and

put your hand in front of the camera --

a "Don't be an asshole" video in a while,

so I'm rockin' my Three Little Birds,
to remind us

(mouths) Don't be an asshole. Word.

My friend just posted something on Facebook

and tagged me, and it said,

"I try not to judge, because I'm a little
fucked up myself."

We all are, a little bit, right? Everyone,
everyone's got something.

Everyone has something that they're
up against or they're dealing with.

So, as you may or may not know,

I'm working on a project called
Girl Power: You Are Enough!

and I don't think I've ever been as excited

about anything, so that feels really good.

I'm launching the workshop Sept. 19 and 20

in Princeton and New York City with my

partner in the workshop, Lara Heimann.

And I'm writing the book myself, but I

have a lot of people on board, that are

really exciting and I can't even announce yet.

Suffice to say, it's incredible.
Girl Power: You Are Enough!

So girls, if you're watching --
I hope you're watching, girls --

email me: [e-mail]

Your letters to your future selves.

The other women I have are writing letters

to their younger self. I want your letter

to your future self. I wanna hear if you

feel like you're enough (you are),

when you feel like you're enough, when you

feel the best about yourself, when you dont,

when you feel the strongest.

But today I want to just quickly talk about

-- I was thinking about something today,

about how I have a lot of shame around the

idea that I don't know how to type,

which is crazy. I'm a writer. I'm a writer

and I can't type. And I think, how did I

get here and not know how to type?

I'll tell you how. Because I would go

to class, I would ditch, or I'd read books

instead of paying attention, or I just

would zone out. I didn't like it, I didn't

want to deal with then. I'll learn later.

And I realize I've done that with so --

I've talked about this idea of avoidance --

I've done that with so much in my life.

So much about being impulsive. And I'm

very spontaneous, and I love that quality

about myself, but I hate the procrastination,

the flip side of it, right?

I don't wanna -- or the avoidance. I don't

wanna deal with that now. I don't wanna

feel that now. I don't wanna look

at that now. I don't wanna learn that now.

Everything's later, later, later.

I'll put it off. Y'know, only matters is

what's happening right now, because I

don't want to, um, I don't want to
take any of that on.

But the problem is one day you wake up and

later's here, and you're like, oh,

what happened to all that pain, and I

never learned how to type, and I dropped

out of school, and all these things that I

said I would do later.

This isn't to scare you,
or to be depressing,

it's just really real, thinking about

the idea of instant gratification, right?

Which kinda gets us into trouble.

I mean look, I'm all about it. I love my

things that gratify me, but so many times

I just think about how this makes me feel

right now, and I don't put any thought

into anything else. Right now, right?

And I'll drink too much wine, because

right now it feels good, and then tomorrow

I have the worst headache and I wanna die,

and I'm going, why did I do that?

Because it felt good in the moment.

Because it felt good in the moment, right?

It feels good in the moment not to feel

heartache or pain, or grief. I used to

fry my skin 'til I had sun poisoning and

blisters, because I hated my skin and

myself. And it only matters what I look

like right now, that I have a little bit
of a tan. It doesn't matter

at all that I'm damaging myself.

And it's really, it's really really really

important, it's really really important

to remember that there's more than just

how this feels right now, and that,

to deal with things, that we have the

strength, and we are enough, to deal with

things, to feel things.

Most often it won't kill us. Y'know, if you

let yourself feel that pain? I've done it,

I thought it was gonna kill me,
and it didn't!

Here I am!

So anyway, I know we live in a time right

now that is all about instant gratification,

like, I'm in the middle of eating,

I'm gonna post my food, I have a thought,

I'm gonna post it, I'm waiting in line,

I'm in traffic, I'm gonna post it,

everything's about this idea
of instant gratification.

And I'm not suggesting not to be present

-- i'm a yoga teacher, right? Namaste --

I'm not suggesting that at all.

I'm just saying, sometimes there's more

than just how this feels right now.

I wanna hear your thoughts around this,
around this idea of instant gratification.

and if you put things off. Anything,

so that you don't have to deal or feel.

And young girls, I can't wait to hear

from you. Come follow me on Instagram,

@jenpastiloff. Yeah, 'cause apparently,

like, who uses Facebook any more?

And that's it. I love you guys, I love you

guys so, so much. You are enough. We all

are enough. Keep on just bein' yourself.