Overcoming hopelessness - Nick Vujicic at TEDxNoviSad

Nick talks about the importance of parenting in early childhood and it's significance in overcoming hopelessness. Willpower is a driving force for making our big dreams come true, but if we don't get a miracle in life, we can always be a miracle to someone else.

(Serbian) Thank you very much.

Guys, my name is Nick Vujičić,

I was born in Australia in 1982,

moved from Australia to California
in the year 2006.

And my life story - I'm just thankful

that people have seen my life

on some sort of level -
whether it's just YouTube videos

or seeing pictures
of a limbless guy smile.

You know, people always ask me

what happened to you

and how did you overcome
what you've been through?

The title of the message
that I've been given

is "Transforming the walls into doors".

When I speak corporately,

the line that I like to use is

"changing obstacles into opportunities".

Now, I am very well aware
to share with you as well.

I know that there are a billion people
going hungry today.

I know that this year,
a million people will commit suicide.

That is one every 40 seconds.

I know today there are 120 million slaves

and I've met six slaves

and I've seen the top of the pyramid
as far as business

and met the billionaires.

I've met bankers
and I've also met orphans.

We're all looking for something.

We're all looking for hope.

Hope you can't just have
just because you were born with hope.

No, we're born with pain.

We're born and live through difficulties.

In our life - my parents always taught me

that even though we don't know

why I was born this way,
that we have a choice.

Either to be angry for what we don't have

or be thankful for what we do have.

The power of that choice
was the first thing

that I had to overcome
and decide for myself,

especially in the early years of school.

A lot of kids would come up to me
and tease me.

And I have been speaking at 5 congresses,

I've met 7 presidents
all around the world.

My largest crowd was 110,000.

I have 30,000 invitations for me to speak.

So wherever I go,
I talk about the value of life,

I talk about anti-bullying messages

for the school systems
in different nations.

The greatest thing is love.

When we feel like
we don't have enough love

and we don't have enough hope,

we start losing strength to live.

For me in my life as a child,
I had a big wall.

I was surrounded by four walls
and a low ceiling of opportunity.

I was set free in so many different ways

and especially surviving from day to day

with my parents who loved me,
who encouraged me,

who told me I was beautiful
the way that I was

and not to worry about what other people
said about me.

I was actually the first
special needs child

to be integrated into the mainstream
education system in Australia

and I was awarded
Young Citizen of the Year in 1990.

And the world is a hurting place
and the world needs hope

and the world needs love.

Without hope, we feel like,
'Why are we here?'

Well, brokenness.

Here's mine.

Today, I still have no arms and no legs,
but everything's changed.

Everything.

For me,
I was looking for hope and happiness

and I couldn't see it for many years.

In fact, if this side of the table
represents my hope,

truth encourages me to become
all that I can be.

But then we have lies, everyday,

coming in our mind,
people who discourage us.

You know the people
that you have in your life

who, no matter how good
of a day you're having,

they'll bring you down?

Or no matter how bad
of a day you're having,

they'll bring you even lower?

You know what I'm talking about?

Think of the three
biggest discourages in your life.

They're not your biggest discourages.

You are.

It only takes 3 seconds for me
to tell you something discouraging

but then, you may never forget my words.

I've met so many 50-year-old women
and 40-year-old women

who still remember
what their fathers told them

that they wish they'd never heard.

Words are powerful.

And when you hear those words

and then your mind starts growing
with these lies.

"Nick, you're not good enough,
just give up, you'll never get a job",

"You won't get married,
you can't even hold your wife's hand".

"What kind of a father are you going to be

if you can't even pick up your kids
when they're crying?"

You're alone.
Sure, your parents hug you.

But their hugs can't heal you.

Just give up. Just give up. Just give up.

At age 8 I thought that I should
commit suicide. Why?

Because I didn't have hope.
I thought I didn't have hope.

Today you can see that I had hope.

What's the word, believing in something
you do not see? Faith.

Words can only do so much.
Hugs can do much more than words,

but when hugs can't do anything,
that's where faith kicks in.

For me, words and hugs were not enough,
but I had no faith.

So I tried to give up.

At age 10, I tried to drown myself
in 6 inches, or 15 centimeters of water,

in my home.

I told my dad I just wanted to relax,
but really, I wanted to end my life.

I had enough.
(Serbian) I had enough.

The first two times I rolled over.

I was trying to work out how much air
I hold in my lungs before I let it out.

And the third time, in my mind,
knowing that I wanted to get out of here,

because of the bullying in my life,

because I was going to be a burden
to my parents

and I had nothing to look forward to.

I realized at that moment

that if I actually went through
with committing suicide,

I would leave a greater burden
for my parents than they already had.

There was one thing less hopeful
or more burdensome

than having a child without limbs.

What is it?
A child without limbs who gives up.

So when I saw in my mind
my mom and my dad

and my brother crying at my grave
if I went through with it,

that one thought saved me.

If my parents never told me
that I was beautiful the way I was.

If my parents never told me
that I was special and that I was loved,

I wouldn't be here today.

So I encourage every single parent

who tries their best
to encourage their teenagers,

especially in the West, many teenagers
put a 'do not disturb' sign on their door.

I'm sure, the conversations all around
the world between a parent and a teenager:

How was school? - Fine.
- What did you learn? - Nothing.

- Did you do your homework?
- No.

And that's the conversation for the day.

And when you try to tell your children
that they're beautiful, they say,

"Of course I'm beautiful,
I'm your son, your daughter,

of course you're going to say that".

But they're right.

Every single human being has value

and my value is not determined
on how I look

or what job I have, or where I'm from,
where I was born,

how much money, all that stuff is nothing.

So many teenagers, you know,
tease each other

for how we look and I tell the teenagers,

"Do you think that I'm cool enough
to be your friend?"

And they're like, "Yeah, of course".

I say, "But I have no arms and no legs",
and they say, "Doesn't matter."

And I say, "Really? So it doesn't matter
that I have no arms and no legs?"

They say it doesn't matter.

I say then, "Actually,
if it doesn't matter,

then why do we kill each other
with our words,

if it actually doesn't matter?"

Why do we look [at] ourselves
in the mirror

and see ugly instead of valuable?

I want to ask you today,
what are you looking for?

If I gave you a billion dollars,
would you be happy?

If you gave me a billion dollars,
I'd be very happy.

But then if my mom dies tonight,
am I happy? No.

With all the money in the world,
I'd never be happy.

Right? Because money is something
that cannot heal the soul.

So many teenagers are looking
for love which, love does heal the soul,

love does complete the soul.

But even sex before marriage,
I was a virgin before I got married.

Yeah, I've got a gorgeous wife,
we're pregnant with our first son.

And I don't need hands to hold her hand.

I only want to hold her heart.

And you know,
how am I going to hug my kid?

So many kids that come up to me,
it's amazing.

They put their hands behind their back
and hug me with their neck.

And I've realized in life,
even the worst parts of my life

can be turned into good.

And even more special.

So many teenagers are looking for love
so they are going to go do this,

and go do that
and have sex before marriage.

For me, sex out of marriage
is like a 5 dollar Gucci watch.

Sex within marriage
and having sex with someone

who loves you, who is committed to you
for the rest of your life,

going to be the mother or father
of your kids, that's what love is.

You can sleep with
as many people as you like

but never know for sure,
"Do they love me?"

Love is a life-long commitment.
You see, there are choices in life.

And we're looking. I want to ask you,
what are you looking for?

If I can just drunk, why not, man?
I'll only live once.

Well, if that's the way you believe,
great.

But for me, I'm a greedy man,
I don't want to live for 90 years.

I want to live for billions of years.

And I know that every day,
my choices will affect this life,

other people's life and my eternal life.

You've got to come to the truth of knowing
who you are and why you're here.

William Barkley, he said,
the greatest two days in anyone's life -

the day you were born,
and the day you knew why.

So, "Uh, you're ugly".

No, I'm beautiful the way that I am

and if you can't believe that for yourself

so many girls, especially, stay with their
emotionally abusive boyfriends

because, "If I break up with him,
then who is going to want me? "

See, we all want love.

That's why we do what we do sometimes.

To get into the crowd -

I am going to swear,
I am going to be cool -

that's what this world is -

"I want to look like her, if I was taller,
shorter, smarter, more popular" -

whatever you want, it's not enough.

Until you find the truth.

I'm wonderfully and faithfully made.

There is a greater purpose for my life.

I am here for a reason.

Sure, I didn't get a miracle.

Yeah, I believe in a God
who can do miracles

and I have a pair of shoes in my closet.

Why? I've seen blind people seeing
and deaf people hearing.

That's fine if you don't believe me,
I've got it on camera.

But I realized something.

If God doesn't change my circumstances

he's going to use my life
to be a miracle for someone else.

When you don't get a miracle,

you can still be a miracle
for someone else.

I'm going to close off
with this beautiful story.

I was in Southern California -

I have 2 organizations,

a non-profit organization
and I have a for-profit.

I probably spoke between years 2007
and 2010, 1000 times, 600 flights.

And I've spoken to 4.5 million people
face to face

and in the last 48 hours here in Serbia,
we've reached 5 million through media.

So, we have the heart of people
to love others.

We want people to love each other,
love yourself

dream big and never give up.

We are all looking for hope, aren't we?

What are you looking for?

Money, drugs, sex, alcohol,
pornography, fame, fortune.

Never satisfies.

It's never enough.

But I have come to a peace,
so check this out.

When I was 24 years old, 5-6 years ago,
I was in California.

And I'd never met anybody else like me.

When I was 10 years old, I wished
I would have met somebody like me.

Never did, didn't get that miracle.

But at 24, in Califronia,
I saw a little boy

with no arms and no legs,
19 months old, just like me.

I knew he was going to be bullied,

he was going to go through depression,
he would feel alone,

I knew that he would get worried
if he's ever going to have a girlfriend

and so on, and so on.

I got the father to bring him up on stage
in front of 2000 people.

And everyone was crying.

And it was a materialization
of when you don't get a miracle,

you can be a miracle for someone else.

I am not a superhero,
I go through ups and downs, so do you.

But take one day at a time

and if you haven't found that peace
of knowing who you are and why you're here

and where you're going
when you're not here.

For me, I want you to know
that's how I've overcome.

I don't have any walls.

My book's called "Life without limits"
and what will be, will be.

I've acted in a short film, 30 awards.

I got best actor in a short film.

I've done my own music video.

I've written 2 books, first book
- 30 languages, 800,000 copies.

I'm 29 and we know
a billion people know who I am.

Not to bring out my pride
or my name or my status,

trust me, I'm just like you.

But I hope you are inspired to know

that if I can dream big, so can you.

There are no walls.

Find your peace and you'll make
your walls doors.

Thank you so much.

(Applause)