REDDIT WANTS TO EAT ME! (Agario Part 1)

Hey, how's it goin' bros?

- This is Pewwww--
- (interference)

WHOOO!

(beatboxing)

All right, all right.

You bros suggested this website to me.

It's called Agario.

I never played it.

Everyone is suggesting it,

so I'm just gonna play it right now online

with the people.

Here we go.

saladass is going.

100%.

♪ (brassy rock music) ♪

So I guess it's like that game

of big eats smaller and gets bigger?

♪ (serene Kung Fu music) ♪

But you play it online--

Oh, you're mine, ULKUCU GENCLiK.

Come on, bitch!

Oh god. What are we doing, ass melon.

Ass melon, you're sucking me up!

Fuck you, ass melon.

♪ (Jaws theme music) ♪

Bitch. Jesus Christ.

♪ (Jaws theme music grows louder) ♪

Some of them are fucking huge.

Lord Voldemort is number ten.

(silence)

AAAH!

The fuck was that?

"plezdonteatme".

Maybe people will show more respect now.

♪ (brassy rock music) ♪

Stop.

You're never gonna--

You piece of shit.

Can he not read?

This is pissing me off.

Why do you bros wanna see this shit?

Goddamn, I'm pissed now.

Fucking Reddit ate me!

FUCK YOU, REDDIT!

It clearly says "don't eat me".

(Hitler opines)

Fucking Nazi Germany's after me now.

What is this shit?

- (Hitler rambles)
- NAZI GERMANY ATE ME!

Japan, you look like a pair of tits.

Come on, fuck off.

Press...

Okay, so I can split myself by pressing W.

All right, maybe that's what I need to do.

Oh, I can eat-- I ate someone else!

Yes! (laughing)

I'm the best player in the world.

♪ You're the best around ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪

All right, we're doing good.

All right, all right, all right.

Oh, I'm getting way slower now though.

I got a pretty good mass going here, man.

Look at this shit.

Okay, now I can eat bitches.

I love eating bitches. Come on.

Let me eat you.

Ah, he's too tiny.

- (Hitler opines)
- OH, NAZI GERMANY!

I'm comin' for you, bitch!

- (Hitler rambling)
- Come on, Nazi Germany.

(Hitler rambling)

Fucking Hitler assholes.

- ♪ You're the best ♪
- Oh, I ate someone--

Oh, I ate someone huge!

What the fuck?!

Come on, baby. Come on, Gimper.

Come on, Gimper. Be a good Gimp--

What the fuck happened?!

What the shit is this?

Oh my god!

Aah, suck it all-- suck together.

Just stick together.

Stick together for the kids.

What the fuck is this?

This is like a spaceship in space.

AAAAH!

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

STAWP! Stop.

I never asked for this.

Gimper. Gimper, don't touch me.

Tata, please don't eat me!

PLEASE DON'T EAT--

(screeching incoherently)

Doge, NO!

DOGEEEE!

Fuck YOU!

Ticzek, don't eat me.

Can you read my fucking name? Asshole.

Stop ejecting yourself!

Doge, no.

No, please, no Doge.

Please, doge. Please.

Sweden better not fucking hurt me.

I'm coming for you, Origin.

No one likes you, Origin.

(chuckling)

Oh, shit, Origin got rekt.

Oh, shit. Oh my god, this is bad.

This is real bad.

Gotta get the-- oh, god.

Oh my god, the Dick has surrounded me.

The giant ass penis.

I did it somehow.

I did it with my tactics.

Earth, I know what you're thinking, Earth,

and, yes, I am going to eat
your fucking asshole out.

Oh, god. Yes!

NO! No.

(groans)

(grunts)

(through gritted teeth)
This is a very bad situation.

Don't eat me. Don't-- oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

OH! OH! OOOH! OOOH!

OOH!

AAAH! AAAAAH!

(screaming mixed with interference)

Yesssss, mother Poodiepie will eat you alllll.

- ♪ (horror music) ♪
- Come here!

I'm gonna fucking eat you all!

Come here. I'm gonna eat your fucking asshole out.

Come on, let me eat you, bitch.

Let me fucking eat you.

I can't stop playing.

I can't stop. (laughing)

This is fucking amazing.

If I was still in high school,

this is literally all I would be doing with my life.

I'm pretty sure.

(sigh of relief)

Oh my god.

All right, bros, I'm gonna
have to end that episode there.

No, you know what?
I'll play one more because fuck you.

That's why. Fuck you. That's why.

PussyPentagram, girl.

Uh. (beatboxes)

PussyPe-- Oh, shit!

Look at that shit.

He really wants me. Look at him.

I've never seen someone so horny for me.

Look at that shit. Fucking bitch.

Oh, god, he got me.

Thank you.

(diabolical cackle)

WHO'S THE BOSS NOW, BITCH?!

Sorry. Sorry, this game is...
doing weird things to me.

(laughing) No, no, not the patriarchy!

Anything but the patriarchy.

♪ (action music) ♪

♪ (action music intensifies) ♪

(silence)

What?! That's bullshit.

You know, okay, fine.

You know what? Fine.

You don't want me to play anymore?

Fine, fuck you, fuck everyone,

fuck whoever made this game,

but please do leave
a like if you enjoy watching.

It helps me out a lot and supports my videos

and it makes me feel like... (sniffling)

Oh, they like my videos! I'm so happy.

Leave a comment about any meme you like.

I will continue scratching my balls

and then I'll kiss my hand

that I scratched my balls with.

Stay awesome, bros... I guess.

[captioned by www.facebook.com/subtitleyoutube]