ALLISON EXPLAINS AVENGERS ENDGAME HAVING NEVER SEEN AVENGERS ENDGAME

A: I gave you a bath, do you remember?

G: she can't stop thinking about it

laughter

G: you traumatized her

A: she had a poopy butt

G: I can't

A: you have to give them baths

when they get poopy butts

G: I also have a dog, I know that

A: awww and she has a skin condition

so I'm supposed to bathe her once a week

Not a skin condition just sensitive skin

G: okay

A: I dont always do it

Gaby laughs

A: here's the thing, she fucking hates it

G: yeah

A: I hate it G: yeah

A: everyone hates it G: yeah

A: so I don't do it all the time

G: yeah...I think that's the same for kids

if I hate it and they hate it

they don't have to do it

A: and that's why you shouldn't have kids

laughter

Groovy music

G: every time a marvel movie comes out um

Allison wants to know about it,

but doesn't wanna see it

so I usually take an hour, half an hour

and explain the plot of the movie to you

A: mhmm so I can feel in the know

G: so she's "seen" every marvel movie

through what I've told her

I just like three or four,what a week ago

explained end game to you

A: and now I shall explain end game to you

the audience,

if you havent seen end game yet

dont watch this video

cus it's for sure gonna be a spoiler.

I should also prefaces by saying

I did not see infinity war either

G: OMG laughter

A: yeah I saw black panther

G: yeah

A: that was good

G: chuckles okay

A: and half of wonder woman

G: WONDER WOMAN IS NOT A MARVEL MOVIE

A: okay..

here we go

G: so what happened

A: let me take you back

to the end of infinity war

G: mhmm what happened then

A: Thanos

G:Thanos, that's good

A: Thanos from what I've gathered

from what Gaby told me, he

is an alien being who has come to earth

to get rid of half the population

in order to save the planet unsure tone

G: yeah

A: so he's like um I dont know

like a greenpeacer?

so he takes out half of the population

with a snap?

G: mhmm

A: with a snap

a very powerful snap

gaby chuckles

G:how did he.. how was he able to ..

A: cuz he has stones

G: yeah

A: okay so yeah this is a mixture of Gaby

what Gaby's told me and memes

G: and so , but what are the stones

A:silence infinity stones

G: yeah

A: oh .. great

G: yeah that's right A: fantastic

so he has to gather a certain amount of

of infinity stones

and then he snapped snaps

and then half of the avengers disappeared

including, spiderman

G: he's.. yeah

A: umm spiderman is gone

uhh uhh Zoe saldana is dead..?

G: she's dead but not from, the snap

A: not from the snap, she's just dead

they thought, get rid of her

G: laughter

they killed her, yeah they killed her

A: she's dead, a bunch of other people are

are missing

G: who , who else went away in the snap

Deep thought

A: a lot of black panther people

G: mhmm

A: and then also chris pratt

did something bad

he didnt listen to orders

and maybe that's why the snap happened

G: yeah, some people think

it was chris pratt's fault

A: yeah , I agree gaby giggles

mostly because he's a raging republican

gaby laughs

A: okay so we pick up inaudible

both laugh

G: we pick up laughs please go on

we pick up what?

A:we pick up um at end game

and it's like what, like five years later?

G: yeah

A:okay and um at some point

tony stark has been in space

G: he was, he was in space

A:he was like just in space but somehow he

comes back

and who's left

I'll tell you who's left, captain america

gaby chuckles

black widow,

G: mhmm

A:Hawkeye

G: mhmm

A: so, all the avengers no one disappeared

in the fucking snap

G: the..the original avengers, yeah, yeah

A: thor, thor is still there

we got all of them

ohh and antman, I'll get to antman

okay.. it's five years later

both laugh G: okay

A: Doug is this right, so far?

G:yeah youre doing a good job

A:and everyone's just like really defeated

and nobody, like and.. and

the world is trying to move on

but they can't move on

because they've lost half the population

G: mhmm

A: and umm it's really depressing

but meanwhile, antman um he

we thought that he disappeared in the snap

but in reality, he disappeared into

a vortex, in the back of a truck

G:laughs yup

A: is that right?

G: I'm saying yes to a lot of things

yeah yeah he went into a vortex

in a back of a truck

A: he went into a vortex

in the back of a truck

and he comes back!

and he's like hey guys whats been going on

and they're like WOAH

we thought you disappeared in the snap

and he's like what's the snap?!

and they're like ohh

we got a lot to tell you buddy

A: also captain marvel is there

but not for long because

captain marvel's to go save other planets

G: mhmm

A: cus her whole thing is humans

aren't the only species G: yes correct

A: and the earth isn't the only planet

G: what's different about her

from captain marvel to now?

A: she looks gayer

G: chuckles yes, she, yeah, there it is

A: she has shorter hair

G: yup she got a haircut, yeah

A: she got a haircut, okay

that was the first thing gaby told me

Gaby laughs I did start with

captain marvel looks very gay now

A: okay so another crucial detail is that

um, tony stark, iron man, as some call him

he's really upset because he had some

sort of weird love affair with spiderman

gaby laughs quietly

and um he.. and spiderman disappeared

in his arms in the snap and so he's like

really wigged out about it

G: yeah , he's, I'd describe him

as wigged out, yeah

A: he's wigged out

G: he's really wigged out

A: Antman is like hey,

I know what we can do

we can go back in time, and get the stones

away from Thanos

G: mhmm

A: and so, then for some reason

they go visit Thanos

who's no longer a threat

and seems to be retired

G: yes, he's retired

that was something that you

asked me about multiple times

A:cus that's just weird

G: you're like,he's retired

A:he just gave up G:yea yea A:just chillin

G:yeah he's done A: so they go

so Antman and Iron man, go see Thanos?

is that right?

Antman and captain marvel?

Antman and captain america..

Antman and somebody

who goes to see Thanos?

both giggle

G: somebody who ends up killing Thanos

who kills Thanos?

A: Black Widow?

Tony Stark?

G: name some other ones

A: OH the Hulk

G: giggles No, up until this point

you have not mentioned the Hulk at all!

A: the Hulk is there, and

ohh this is huge you guys

the Hulk has figured out

how to be the hulk, all the time

G:yeah

A: without being angry

G: mhmm

A: so that's really important

and he has like little glasses

and he looks silly

I saw a meme

I really... hawkeye?!

who kills Thanos!?

G: Thor

A: THOR claps Thor and antman.. no

Thor.. who, who was with giggles

G: like all of them

oh they all go see thanos

G:yeah they all go see Thanos

A: they all go see Thanos and they're like

I forgot this huge thing, and they're like

dude like where are the fucking stones

and he's like I can't tell you

like I'm retired and also like I dont care

I'm just like reading a lot and then

Thor is like fuck you man

and Thor chops off his head

which is questionable cus why didn't he

just do that in infinity war?

G: sighs

um I think Thanos..

I feel like Thanos was just like

I don't care

A:ready to die?

G:yeah

A: I think that's a lute?

I think that's a faulty plot, anyway

Antman and Ironman go back in the vortex

G: aha

A: to.. All of them do..

do they all go in the vortex?

both laugh

A: how many people go in the vortex

laughter

A: they go back in time and so now is when

we really get to the fun and games

part of the movie

Gaby chuckles yeah

where we're getting like to like

explore different decades

and people are wearing different outfits

G: yeah

A: at some point, something happens where

either hawkeye or black widow's gonna die

G: mhmm

A: and they fight about it and then

black widow dies

G: mhmm

A: to do what? get a stone?

G: chuckles yeah to get a stone

A: to get a stone

G: laughing to do.. so dismissive

sarcastically to do what? get a stone?

A: so she's dead, she's gone

not even in the snap, just gone

and then they get um

they get all of the stones

G: mhmm

G: but where do the other people go?

A: to different parts of the decades

G: yeah, but where?

A: ohh, seventies?

G: they do go to the seventies

A: eighties ?

gaby laughs

G: where does um, where..

where do tony stark & captain america go?

A: I don't know... where?

G: like, like back in time,

who does

A: fourties

G:who does

A: OH captain claps ohh this is huge

so captain america goes back to when

captain america was a young man

gaby chuckles

A: he goes back to his time

G: eventually ,eventually at the end

A: at the end, so here's the spoilers

captain america goes back to like

before he.. like the fifties, i dont know

wherever captain america's from

G: yeah

A: and he never comes back through

the vortex instead he like lives out his

life, the way he should have

G: mhmm

A: instead of having been frozen?!

gaby chuckles

A: was he frozen?

G: okay

A: he, so like, when they all get back

from the vortex, everyone's like

where's captain america and this old man

walks up and is like it's me!

captain america I lived out my life

and they're like

that was a weird choice

gaby laughs

why didnt you tell us

G: they, they definitely say

that was a weird choice, to his face

Allison chuckles

G: wait wait, there's more stuff

A: okay, then they all get the stones

G: yeah, well who from,

who does tony stark meet, like in the 70's

A: his dad

G: yeah

A: I didn't know, I just guessed

G: ohhh, yeah, he, yeah mumbling

A: yeah, his dad, so we get to see his dad

that's really heartwarming sighs

and uhh and then they all get back on,

they get all the stones

G: yeah

A: and then hulk is the only one

strong enough to do the snap

G: yeah

A: so he does the snap snaps

and everybody comes back

G: yeah

A:and Spiderman comes back in tony's arms

both chuckle

G: you're really stuck on this love affair

between Tony stark and...

A: I think it's weird

spiderman is much younger than him

G: yeah

A: it's an abuse of power

so spiderman comes back claps

I forgot a huge thing, okay,

Thanos from the past

G: ohh right, yeah yeah yeah

A:this is how I was like how does this end

so Thanos from the past, is like, he's

not retired G: no it's the past

A: so he's like really, liked riled up and

hes like how do I stop this from happening

so honestly it's just

a repeat from the plot of infinity war

gaby giggles

with him trying to like, stop it

and then at the very end, tony stark um

sacrifices himself and dies killing Thanos

G: yeah

A: and so now, Spiderman's butt-hurt

cus his male lover is gone

G: chuckles yeah

A: but I'll... I'll tell you also at some

point captain marvel does come back

and she does help

G: yeah

A: and piper helps

G: Piper?

A:....Pepper? fuck!

G: so.. so let me...

A: who's pepper?

G: so let me ask you a question

is Tony stark in a.. throuple?

A: no, he's having an emotional affair

with spiderman

G: oh got it

A: but he's married to pepper

G: okay got it, got it, got it

A: so it's sort of

G: you did pretty well

A; yeah like, it's sort of like

it's mostly good

but some of them are dead

G: aha

A; but like all those humans got to

come back, right? cus of the snap

G: yeah, all the people got to come back

A: so that's nice

G: so directors are saying that this is

the first marvel movie with

an openly gay character, who was that?

A: long silence Herbie

G: chuckles you, you just made it up

laughter

G: okay, herbie fully loaded

A: yeah

G: the car

allison laughs yeah the car

G: he's, he's gay

and he, he somehow helps the avengers

both laugh

music

A: who?

G: wow, it's just a random guy

they like made such a big deal about it

and then it was just like, a guy in the

grief support group was like

I went on a date, maybe I'll see HIM again

and they were like well

let's pat ourselves on the back

A: he wasn't even a superhero?!

G: Nope

Allison rolls her eyes pfttt