Communication Apprehension Part 3: Physical

High scholars. In this video,

I'm going to conclude
my talk about

communication apprehension by
looking at physical stress.

Now, just like with
psychological stress,

we're first going to
look at the symptoms to

help us see is it

physical stress that
we're experiencing,

and then we'll look at the
cause and how to reverse it.

Now, the symptoms of physical
stress when somebody says

I'm feeling nervous and
you ask them the symptoms,

there's a very good chance that

these are some of

the things you're going
to be talking about.

Muscle tension, shaking,
shallow breathing,

the heart racing or
sometimes pounding.

Maybe they'll get dry mouth,

feel nausea, butterflies
in the tummy.

Sometimes they'll get headaches.

If you want to get
this list of symptoms,

go ahead and pause the video

and write down any of these
that you want to write down.

What's more important
than knowing

specific ones on
this list is just

recognizing that these are

physical manifestations
of stress

where before was psychological,

it was about thinking.

We got a few more.
Reduction in cognition,

we begin to not
think as clearly.

We have difficulty
remembering things.

We struggle with
words, vocabulary.

Sometimes our appetite changes.

Sometimes people
lose their appetite

and don't want to eat.

Sometimes people get hungrier,

they become more irritable,

etc., you get the idea.

Physical stress is really

the physical manifestation
of stress within us.

Now the best way to really
talk about the cause of all of

this is to focus on

a little story or to
tell you a little story.

Before I do that though,

when you look at this list
of physical symptoms,

it should tell you that this
is a physical condition.

I mentioned during
the overview video

that sometimes when we're

feeling stress and we
might tell someone like,

gosh, I feel really nervous.
They go, why, what's wrong?

I got a big test and I'm

just feeling really
nervous about it.

They'll say, don't
worry about it.

You'll do fine, you're smart.

People like you, whatever.

Then 10 minutes later,
they say, What's wrong?

You aren't feeling
nervous and stress.

They said, I told you,
don't worry about it.

If it's physical stress,

that would be like going up to

somebody who has
the flu and say,

don't worry about it, you feel

fine and expecting that to help.

Instead, this physical
condition has a physical cause,

and we need to address and
reverse that physical cause.

I'm going to tell you
a little story of

physical stress because I think

it helps illustrate this cause.

You're not going to
be tested on this,

you don't have to
worry about that.

4.5 million years ago,

when our ancestors roamed
the plains of Africa,

they weren't actually
the predators.

See, the earliest humans
were actually the prey.

Does anybody know who
the predators were?

Who is our natural enemy?

Well, think Africa and
could hunt and kill humans?

Immediately, of course,

you think about the large
cats, and you would be right.

Now, you've all heard that our

survival response
is fight or flight.

In actuality, our
survival response

is freeze flight, fight.

You see, when a human would
notice a large cat nearby,

you have the fight
or flight crowd,

first name fight, they
turn and attack the cat.

Well, the cat's 400 pounds,

has big claws, big jaws,

killed them, got them
out of the gene pool

before they bre and
became us, thank God.

The second group, or the
flight or fight crowd,

were only a little bit smarter.

When they saw a large cat,
they took off running.

Well, in addition to cats being

much bigger and having
natural weapons,

they're also much faster.

They would chase
the human down and.

The third group, the
group that became us,

had a very well
developed what we

call limbic system
in their brain.

Now, if you don't mind,
go ahead put your hand.

I'll see if I can get
this in the camera.

Like this, put your thumb

over your palm and your
forefingers over your thumb,

that wouldn't exacerbate
an injury or something.

This is a very, very simple
model of your brain.

This is the brain stem.

From your knuckles forward

is called the prefrontal cortex.

That's the part of your
brain that is in charge of

higher ordered thinking
or executive functions.

It's the CEO of your brain.

Where your thumb is deep inside

the brain is called
the limbic system.

The limbic system has
a variety of jobs,

but its primary job
is in survival.

The third group that
was facing that cat,

they had a well
developed limbic system

and that ended up getting
passed down to us.

The limbic system can

short circuit the
prefrontal cortex.

In other words, turn logic

off and go into a survival mode.

So they did the least logical

thing anybody could think of.

Large cat nearby,
freeze and do nothing.

Now, they probably
didn't know this.

But cats, like a lot of animals,

their vision is actually blurry.

Except when something moves.

When something moves, it becomes

crystal clear. It
gets attention.

Oftentimes, the
person that froze,

the cat would wander off

not even never knowing
that they were there,

and then the person
would walk off.

If the cat turned and
begin to stalk them,

in other words, gigs up,

the cat sees me.

The second thing that this
person would do is run.

Now, they're not
running to try to get

away from the cat because
that's not going to happen.

Sometimes people say, maybe

they're looking for a big rock.

Well, a boulder to
stop a large cat is

probably too heavy
for this human to

pick up and wheel real
quick and easily.

Instead, what this
person is oftentimes

looking for is another cat.

Think about that for a moment.

The biggest problem in
your world is that there's

a giant cat that's about to

kill you and your solution is,

let's find another one.

Well, if you've ever
watched the animal channel,

you know how this works.

If they find another
one, the second predator

doesn't attack the prey.

The second predator attacks

the first predator and
they fight over the prey.

Meanwhile, the person escapes.

If that doesn't work,
as a last option,

the person turns and attacks
the cat and gets killed.

Now, this is actually ingrained

in us this freeze flight fight.

If a child is stealing

a cookie from the cookie
jar and they don't

know mom's right behind them and

mom suddenly says, Steven.

What's the kid do? They freeze.

No, we don't stay
frozen for long

because obviously the
gigs up, Mom sees us.

Then the second thing the
child does is escape.

They probably don't physically

run because mom knows
where my room is.

We use our words, we
use our language,

they go, I wasn't
stealing a cookie.

They're trying to
escape the situation.

I wasn't stealing a cookie.

I was counting the cookies.

I was just moving
the cookies around.

I was bringing you a cookie.

You want it? In other
words, they're escaping.

When that doesn't work,
the third thing is fight,

hopefully not trying to hit mom.

Instead, once again, we use

our language, we use our voice,

they cry and they scream and
they try to lay on guilt.

I never get a cookie, whatever.

Hoping that Mom, not

wanting to deal with this
pain will finally say,

just be quiet and
go to your room.

Then if that doesn't work,
then they get punished.

This freeze flight fight,

so when we're
perceiving a danger,

when we're perceiving
a stressful situation,

which could be anything.

It could be physical danger,

it can also be social danger

of embarrassment
or loss of face.

Then our limbic
system kicks in and

the first thing it does is

has the chest muscles tense up.

The chest muscles tensing up.

Now, this is the
strongest muscle

that you have conscious
control over.

Having that muscle group tense

up not only gets it
ready for action,

but it creates a
heartened shell around

vital organs that
the limbic system

knows it needs in
order to survive.

Now, if we went from
relaxed to stressed,

we would probably notice that.

But we're naturally stressed.

I'm going to pull
up the symptoms

here just to show how this is.

We're on symptom number
one, muscle tension.

We would notice if we went
from relaxed to stressed,

but we live stressful
lives naturally.

So we just go from
stress to more stressed.

So when our chest
muscles tense up,

they constrict around the lungs,

making it harder to breathe.

But because we're
not aware of that,

we don't put in more
effort to breathe,

so our breathing
becomes more shallow.

Sometimes in really
tense situations,

people actually
forget to breathe.

They have to be
reminded to breathe.

For anybody who
does scuba diving,

you know that don't
die is rule number 2.

Rule Number 1,
remember to breathe.

Because when we're in a
stressful environment

or stressful situation,

breathing actually becomes more

shallow and sometimes we
actually hold our breath.

We get shallow breathing.

Now, when we breathe, we take in

oxygen and we expel
carbon dioxide.

By the way, I
apologize this video

is probably going to be
one of the longer ones.

We expel carbon dioxide.

But when our breathing
becomes more shallow,

the blood comes to the
lungs to pick up oxygen,

but instead, it delivers
carbon dioxide to the body.

Carbon dioxide is like a
toxic gas to our muscles.

When the carbon dioxide is
delivered to the muscles,

the muscles begin to cram,

they begin to tense up and it
creates an internal energy.

That internal energy has to

escape and the way it escapes
as we begin to shake.

You might notice that your hands

shake more than
most of your body.

The reason for that is because

the muscles in your neck and

your shoulders can't escape

directly. We don't
shake our neck.

The tension makes
its way down to

the extremities and it
escapes through our shaking.

When there is carbon

dioxide rich blood
reaches the brain,

the brain realizes we don't
have enough oxygen and

instructs the heart to beat

faster because that's the way
the brain gets more oxygen.

Is the heart beating faster,

so more blood gets
to the lungs to

deliver more oxygen to the body.

The heart begins to beat faster,

but all it does is deliver more

blood to the lungs
that don't have

enough oxygen and that
delivers to the rest of

the body and it just has
more carbon dioxide.

At this point, the brain

realizes this is potentially
an existential threat.

The existence of the
brain is in danger.

I have to have oxygen to

survive and the way I know
to get oxygen didn't work.

Now the brain is going to try to

conserve as much oxygen as it

possibly can so that then
it can try to solve.

How do I get more oxygen?

The first thing the
brain is going to

do is it's going to
begin to slow down

the oxygen flow to things that
it doesn't need right now.

For example, the brain

doesn't really need advanced

cognitive thinking right now,

doesn't need to remember
algebra at the moment.

That might be upsetting to

you because what might
be causing the stress is

that you had a big
algebra test and

the brain is concluding it
doesn't really need math.

That's why people in
stressful situations

will make very simple
mathematical errors.

It's like seven
plus four, eight.

It also doesn't really
need detailed memory,

and so the memory
becomes more difficult.

We don't need an advanced
vocabulary in this situation,

and that's why we

oftentimes have difficulty
finding the words to say,

or if we're talking to

somebody and they
ask us a question,

sometimes we have difficulty
understanding it.

If things that you're
stressed about is

a big history test and you look

down, you read the question.

You recognize that the
words are English,

but you have a lot
of difficulty trying

to figure out what is
it they're asking.

I mentioned before doing

consulting work for human
resource departments and

sometimes an
interviewer will ask

a question and the person being

interviewed will
give a great answer,

but that wasn't what was asked.

The reason is because

their vocabulary is affected
by the stress they're under.

The brain knows it doesn't
need muscle memory.

Muscle memory isn't
necessarily that

important in that
circumstance and that's

the reason somebody who
makes 100 free throws in

a row in practice games

on the line and sometimes
they miss the rim.

Or a quarterback
playing in a big game

will throw the ball
and it will go flying

off completely different than

what they intended to throw to.

It's because they're relying
on muscle memory and

the muscle memory is
basically being interfered

with or possibly
been turned off.

The brain knows it doesn't
need fine motor skills.

That's the reason when we're
in stressful situations,

it's difficult for
us to do things that

are minor fine motor skills.

It needs improved
gross motor skills.

In stressful situations, your
gross motor skills actually

improve because it might

need that in a
survival situation.

When that's not enough,
in other words,

the brain still
is losing oxygen.

The next thing it's going
to do is it identifies

a bodily system that it
doesn't need right now.

Of course, you can't turn off

the nervous system
because then you die.

Circulatory system can't
really turn that one off.

The respiratory system would
be ironic if it turns that

off since it's trying to
deal with a lack of oxygen.

It doesn't really need
digestion right now,

so it slows the digestive
system way down.

This is where you get
things like dry mouth,

butterflies in the
tummy, nausea, etc.

If that's not enough,
in other words,

it's still running
an oxygen deficit

as a last ditch thing,

almost a last ditch thing,

the brain will begin to pull

all the oxygen rich blood to
the core and to the head.

The reason for that is
because the brain can

survive without your hands,

your feet, your
arms, and your legs,

it doesn't want to
lose those things.

But if it loses the core
and the head, it dies.

It pulls oxygen rich blood
to the core end of the head,

and you begin to feel
very flushed very warm.

Meanwhile, your hands and

your feet are
beginning to get cold.

Now, because oxygen rich
blood is pulled away,

you don't necessarily
feel them as well.

They begin to go a
little bit numb.

But if you take your
hands in that situation,

you put them to your
head or to your core,

it's shocking how cold
your hands are and

how warm or hot your
head or core is.

If that's not enough,
as a last ditch effort,

the brain shuts the body down
and the person passes out.

While unconscious, the brain

restores a rhythmic
breathing pattern

to re-oxygenate the blood,

expel excess carbon dioxide,

and that solves the
oxygen deficit.

Once the oxygen
deficit is solved,

it turns the body back on in

reverse order and that's

the story. It's also
the end of the story.

Back to things that can
be on the test now.

As you listen to that
story, what was missing?

What would you expect to play

a prominent role in

the story and yet it
wasn't even there?

Of course,

the answer is that

the cause of physical stress has

nothing to do with the
communication event.

The speech isn't what's
causing your physical stress.

Asking the person
out on a big day,

going in for a big
job interview,

talking to a person
of authority,

the big math test,
whatever it is,

isn't actually what caused it.

What caused it was
inadequate breath support.

It was the brain's
natural reaction

to not getting enough oxygen

and having too much
carbon dioxide build up.

The solution to reverse
this is rather easy.

Now, you'll notice at
the end of the story,

the way the brain reacted to

now go back to a normal state,

restore rhythmic
breathing pattern,

re-oxygenate the blood,

expel excess carbon dioxide
and everything was okay.

The solution to these symptoms,

rather than having the brain

go all the way to the end there,

is to start solving it now.

The first thing I
want to talk to you

about is breathing
with your diaphragm,

what we sometimes call
diaphragmatic breathing.

Now, what I'd like you
to do is put one hand on

your upper chest and you
can't see down below,

but one hand on your abdomen.
Then breathe normally.

Now as you inhale and exhale,

I want you to make note
of which hand is moving.

Now, if you put the
hand on your chest on

your lower chest
and you breathe,

there's a good chance
it's going to move some

because you're covering the lux.

But upper chest and
abdomen or tummy,

the one on the chest should
not be moving as you breathe.

The hand that's on your
abdomen should be moving.

If the hand that is on
your chest is moving,

what that means is
that you're relying on

your chest muscles to
inhale and exhale.

It makes sense why
we would do that.

Our chest muscles are
the strongest muscle

we have conscious control over.

However, because
our chest muscles

are located above the lungs,

using our chest muscles
can only fill our lungs

to approximately one
third of their capacity.

Now, below the lungs is

a very thin muscle membrane
called the diaphragm,

much weaker than the chest.

However, because of
where it's located,

it can fill your lungs
to full capacity.

That means
diaphragmatic breathing

potentially can get you

almost three times the amount

of oxygen as breathing with
your chest muscles can.

We can breathe in

almost three times as much
oxygen as breathing with

your chest muscles can and

expel an equivalent
amount of carbon dioxide.

Now, when you're
sleeping, you breathe

with your diaphragm naturally.

Babies breathe with
their diaphragm

pretty much all the time.

The reason that
when we're awake,

oftentimes we breathe
with our chest muscles is

because of the tension and
stress we feel during the day.

The way to breathe with

your diaphragm is to
build a muscle memory.

That way, when you breathe, you

naturally breathe
with your diaphragm.

Now, some people like singers,

theater stage actors because

they have to project
their voice and such.

Athletes, they naturally build

their diaphragm
muscle memory up.

When they breathe normally
during the course of the day,

they breathe with
their diaphragm.

They almost never use

their chest muscles or rely

heavily on their chest
muscles to breathe.

How do you build this
muscle membrane?

Simply through practice.

You can practice simply

by putting a hand
on your abdomen or

a hand on your upper
chest and make sure that

the only thing
that's going in and

out while you're breathing
is your abdomen.

If you put your hands

behind your back and lift
them up high in your back,

or on your head.

When your hands are on your
head or high up in your back,

it stretches your chest muscles

out so your chest muscles
can't be used to breathe.

You just breathe normally

and you're forced to breathe
with your diaphragm.

These things help
build muscle memory,

they strengthen the diaphragm,

and it becomes natural to
breathe with your diaphragm,

which again, breathes
in three times

roughly as much oxygen

and expels a lot
of carbon dioxide.

Now if you're feeling
physical stress,

one technique you can use

is something called
four by four breathing.

Some of you may have heard of

this called square breathing,

which is perfectly
fine name for it.

I prefer the name 4 by 4

because the name actually
says what you're doing.

The technique is
using your diaphragm,

you inhale through your
nose for four seconds,

pause, exhale through your mouth

for four seconds, and
then keep repeating.

What this is going
to do is it's going

to restore rhythmic
breathing pattern,

inhale, pause, exhale,
inhale, pause,

exhale, and it's going to
breathe in a lot of oxygen,

and then exhale a lot
of carbon dioxide.

Now if you're really stressed,

inhaling for four seconds
is going to be almost

impossible because your body

is struggling getting oxygen.

You can only breathe
in for a second

and a half, that's fine.

Next breath, try to
maybe do two seconds and

just build up to where you
can inhale for four seconds,

pause for a moment,
exhale for four seconds,

and the physical
symptoms that are caused

by inadequate breath
support should melt away.

I mentioned that this
was probably going to be

a long video and it sure was.

Thank you very much
for being so patient

and watching the video,