Maisaa's Story of Migration- Transcultural Devon 2021

Maisaa's story of migration as part of the Transcultural Devon video archive. Interview and subtitles by Daisy Van Leeuwen-Hill.

Fab, let's get started.

Welcome! I am here today with Maisaa.

Thank you so much for taking part in

this project 'Transcultural Devon'

Thank you so much, I'm really
looking forward to us talking today.

So could we perhaps
begin with a bit about you?

Why are you here in Exeter?

And can you tell us a bit
about where you are from?

Please tell us about yourself.

I'm from Syria.

My husband and I came so that he could
complete his studies and a PHD in drama.

And I wanted to come and
study for a master's in education.

We came at the end of 2011,

and I started by working with children,

because the first thing I needed to do

was work on my English.

I hadn't studied English before
so I really wasn't very good at all!

So I decided that in order to work on
my English I needed to communicate with

and see people who spoke English.

So the best thing was for me to work.

I also started working out of boredom.

My husband had come to study his masters,

and the programme was full time,

so I didn't get to see him much.

I had come from a very big family,
and was very attached to my friends,

but I didn't have that in Exeter.

I didn't know anyone.

Boredom pushed me

to find a job
and learn more about the culture,

because I was maybe
going to live here for quite a while.

So, this is how it all began.

Wonderful, Thank you!

So you left Syria because of
Aqeel's (your husband's) job.

But when...

and of course because of
the opportunities in Britain.

But could you tell us

What the most difficult part of
leaving Syria to come to Exeter was?

The most difficult part,

in honesty,
was leaving my family and friends.

As I said before, I'm from a big family.

We are ten siblings,

twelve including mum and dad,

and we are all very close.

I was fairly independent in Syria.

I worked in a different city, in the
capital Damascus.

I lived there with my good friends
who I was really close with

and so I was upset to leave them
when it came to leaving and coming here.

But I was really excited to come and
learn about somewhere new...

and to live in a new culture.

I was really eager to expand my potential

and further my studies,
so that I could return to my own country,

and help develop things there.

Knowing why I'd left
kept me going even though it was hard.

Of course!

When you arrived in Britain,

was everything how you had expected?

No! Often you hear so much about places
but you never get to see any of them!

You need to live somewhere for years
before you can discover all of them.

Right from the first year,

I saw the negative
and positive sides to being here.

It really opened my eyes to the negative
parts of life Syria where I had come from,

aswell as the positives.

I often thought how lovely it was
to live in a new place and somehow

find a balance between both sides.

To be able to take on
the good things from a new culture,

and hold onto
the good things from your own culture.

This was the thing, I wanted to work,
have children and eventually, go home.

Yes, of course.

I would love to know,
what was your favourite thing...

When you came to Britain,
what were the things that ...

...

What were the things that
shocked you or that you found strange?

What made you happy?

Nature really made me happy.

We arrived in autumn time,

so the first thing we saw
were the colours- you know what its like!

The autumnal colours are
magical and I really enjoyed seeing them.

We would walk, we visited London
and took in the trees, the leaves,

the parks, the larks,
and how big and green it all was.

It was beautiful.

I remember that the thing I sent
most pictures to my family of was nature.

So magical, so beautiful!

That was something I really enjoyed.

So, yes!
This was the first thing.

Of course, you spoke
about the importance of colours.

When you think of Syria,
do you do remember things in the same way?

with images and colours like that?

What are the images and sounds of Syria
that remain in your mind while you are

here in Britain?

For expats ...

or rather for me ...

I recall the smell of the sun.
Perhaps you might think it's strange,

but I felt the sun and its power,
and that was the first thing I missed.

Maybe because of
the difference in temperature,

but no,
it's almost a different feeling,

tied to the country we were raised in.

The smell of the air.

When I'm walking in the street,
I try to find that same air that I was

breathing before.

These things are really linked to emotion.

They are tied to what we know and
what we grew up with living there.

I missed the power of
the sun and the smell of the air.

and obviously seeing my family.

Of course!

It's so lovely,
the idea of the sun and its smell.

Would you be able to speak a bit more ...

You spoke about your family,
but could you tell us more about

your life in Syria,
and what your life was like

before you came to Britain?

I was an independent woman.

I graduated from university,

where I had studied
education and planning,

and afterwards, they have this
contest through which you can get a job,

So, I took part in the contest,
won, and was appointed to a job.

I'm from Latakia, a city

on the Mediterranean coast of Syria.

I was given a position
in Damascus, the capital of Syria.

I really enjoyed it because I had
been curious about living away from home,

I'm a girl,
so this was a really big opportunity

to get to know a new place,

and at the same time,

and to work at the ministry of education.

Goodness, it's been ages
since I've spoken Arabic like this!

I'm trying to find my words!

Don't worry! We can speak
in whatever language you prefer!

Working in the ministry
was a fantastic opportunity.

I was there with my companions, other
women who had succeeded at univeristy.

We went and we tried
to work on school curriculums,

working on educational techniques

for use in Syrian schools.

On the weekends
I would always be with my family,

My family is one that loves joy,

they are always wanting to

sing and dance and cook.

so our gatherings were always special.

...

Afterwards, obviously, I met my husband,

my family really cared about my future.

We got married eighteen
days before we moved here.

In eighteen days we were married,
had our wedding, spent a few days with

our families,
said 'goodbye', and came here.

All fairly quickly!

How did your life change?

Of course, you said that your life changed

more than a little

when you came to the UK,

But I would love to know
especially after

how do you say it...

International Women's day having
been this week, I would love to know,

as a woman, how your experience differs

from that of a man or someone else

What defined and distinguished your
experience as a woman coming to Britain?

The experience was
different because of the circumstances.

...

In the start,

we were reliant on
building our energy and our potential,

and learning something new.

So there was always this sense that

the intimate things
got muddled with other feelings

My family were safe where they were,
and we were going to go back to see them.

So this was always something that
spurred us on, we had to explore,

we had to live and experience Exeter.

We came straight to Exeter when
we came to the UK over eleven years ago.

We really loved the surroundings.

We loved that there was
a city skyline and lots of fields.

As a woman,

in honesty,

there were many things
that I wasn't allowed,

to be a part of in Syrian culture,
or at least it was hard to be part of.

Being from a big family was part of this,

as well as society in general.

For example,

Swimming.

I learned how to swim ...

We live beside the sea
and so that's where I learned to swim.

So over the summer, we would
always swim in the sea or by the river.

So I knew how to swim in the sea,
but I didn't know how it worked at a pool.

We don't have winter pools
or anything like that in Syria.

...

So I found a teacher to help me here.

I went to swimming lessons until
I had learned how to do it properly.

When I was growing up in Syria,
girls riding bikes wasn't a popular idea,

because girls (and only girls),

might hurt themselves doing it.

So when I came here, I decided
that I would have to give it a go,

because girls not being allowed
was just a kind of social construct,

and couldn't stop me from learning.

There are social constructs
that you try to break

or correct,

because they're wrong,
and living in another country allows

you to do that.

There are many things that I'm
allowed to do here that I can't in Syria.

Things that I should be allowed to do.

I learned how to do lots of things
that I might not have done had I stayed

in Syria.

I really loved the story
about how you used to swim in the sea.

The image you portrayed is so beautiful!

When you used to go to the sea in Syria,

Who would you go with?

Family, friends?

My dad used to work a full day.

The working day finishes at 3.30 PM
in Syria, and so you still have half the

afternoon left to do something.

He would come back,
and we would always go in his car.

The rivers and beaches in Syria

are huge, beautiful all so different.

I think what makes it so beautiful
is that people are there together.

Without everyone else, you can go
and enjoy yourself and then go home,

but because people are there,
and your family is all there together,

and you're doing different activities,
going in the sea, eating, playing, etc,

there is a different atmosphere.

We went many times together.

I have such lovely memories.

Of course!

While you're speaking about your family,

and about society here,

I remember that when we spoke
on Friday, we spoke about how society

and community are different here
to what they are like in Syria.

And communication between people and such.

So since you arrived in the UK,

and up until now,

how has life been different
with regards to interaction?

How was that sense of
community different in the UK to Syria?

In honesty,
there were a lot of big differences.

The way people live is very different.

When we first arrived we wanted to
have people over to eat, but the way

of life made that difficult.

For example,

all of the shops here shut at 6.00 PM,

whereas in Syria,
they're open half the night

because that's what fits
the pace of living there.

Even by the sea,
there are still lots of places open

with lights on and life going on inside,
and people meandering around the streets.

So the nighttime here left us bored.

I considered Exeter to be
a dead city after 10.00 PM,

because everyone went to bed early

There was no life going on!

My husband and I would go for a walk
at 10.00 PM and see no one in the street.

It was so different to what we knew.

There are clear differences that become
more obvious when living in a new place.

But I was bored and lonely.

It's not as simple as going out,
speaking to people in the street,

and then you're friends.

For the first few years here,

I was alone and had no friends

because I didn't go to school here,
and my childhood wasn't based here.

I missed my friends,
they were all working nearby each other,

and growing up together
and learning more about eachother

and so they have
shared things to talk about

They chat together.

and I miss out.

For example Daisy,
you and I talk about general things,

but when you're talking to
someone you're really close to,

You'll talk about pointless things

but you'll just keep giggling.

I really missed that.

Even now at times I still miss that.

But as time passed,

I thought to myself,

try and bring a little of
your culture to the place you are now.

For example, in our culture,

if I was living in a neighbourhood,
I would knock on my neighbour's door

and offer them something I had cooked.

That way, I would introduce myself.

I would invite them for coffee,

both my husband and I worked
and so we didn't have lots of free time,

but there's always
30 minutes free to drink coffee,

I can phone a neighbour and say hello
or ask if they would like to come over.

I started to do something
in order to change my situation.

I was very lonely for a long time,

but afterwards,

I realised the solution was
to bring a little of my own culture.

Our culture is one of sharing,
talking and showing real kindness when

someone is in need.

I really needed those things!

The language, the culture.

I needed to speak to people
and work out how to build friendships.

So when I moved to
this neighbourhood around six years ago,

that's exactly what I did.

First, I observed my neighbourhood,

and realised that
my neighbour was really lonely,

Just as I was.

We were completely different in age,

but that didn't stop us
finding things to talk about.

I started taking her food I'd made,

and she came to us for dinner.

We spoke with her about
a culture she knew nothing about.

She only knew Syria as
the war-torn country from the news,

and nothing about the beautiful culture,

nature, friendships and families,

I introduced myself to her,

and I slowly started to
learn more about Britain from her.

More about what Britain was like
when she was growing up in 1931.

She was quite old.

I found out about what her life was like,

and about her family life.

I gave her bits of our culture.

So both of us really benefitted from it.

We became friends.

Even as a girl from Syria,
I went inside her house, kissed her cheek,

and drank coffee with her.

Alhamdulilah
(Thanks be to God)

Just like social relations,
or let us say 'community' in Syria,

The place where I used to live
was a really tight-knit community.

I tried to bring this
same sense of community here,

because it would help me
and make both me and others happy.

(Of course)

You spoke a little about

the reaction ...

your neighbour's reaction,

What were people's reactions
when you would speak about Syria?

Of course, here in the UK,
lots of people, like you said before,

only know Syria from the news.

Were their reactions based only on
the war or the revolution or other things?

In honesty, their reactions were
emotional and come from what they hear.

People are conditioned by
what they hear in the media.

People only hear one thing about Syria.

When I first came here,
no one had heard of Syria.

They would ask where I was from,

I would say Syria,
and their response was "Where?".

I would explain that it was near Turkey,

and they knew where that was.

Tourism in Turkey is much better

than in Syria,
so people know it from travelling.

However,

as time went on,
and after the start of the war,

Everytime someone asked:
'Where are you from?'

I would say Syria,
and they would so this 'Oh'

All melancholy, you know!

So started expecting that reaction

before they even did it.

...

When people learn about a certain country,

they need to try to see it from all sides,

and not define it by one event,

because that's not
the singular identity of that place.

The reaction also depends on the person.

I have a freind,

my neighbour, who loves
coming over for coffee,

but I absolutely can't go into her house.

I felt ...

I even ended up going
and asking her in English:

(English): Why? Are you scared of me?

Is it because you're scared of me
that you won't let me come inside?

Subconscious thoughts,

and feelings,

and a difference in culture

can mean someone reacts
in a way that is bad and out of character.

But once you try,

For example,
she said 'I'm sorry I just don't want to'.

'I really like you, I don't know why'.

and truly, she's ...

I don't know what to call it,
or if to give the situation a label,

they have a lot of reservations
but then they finally open their hearts

and realise that its something natural,

we are all people, no matter
where we live, our heritage,

the colour of our skin,

or our languages.

We are all human beings
and we need to live together lovingly.

Of course.

People in Exeter live
so far away from Syria,

and you were telling me before
about a project you started to try and

help people learn more about Syria.

If you were able to tell people
more things about Syria to try and

make people aware of
what it's really like away from the war,

what would you tell them about?

What are the beautiful things,

that you wish people knew about Syria?

Syria as a home to
ancient civilisations,

the Syria of architecture,

The Syria of
echantingly beautiful nature,

the stunning coastlines,
and the warmth of the sea,

the goodness of the people,

the delicious food,

(Oh yes!)

I think this gives you an idea

of how beautiful everything is there.

...

The situation had been bad for a while,

but at it's core, Syria is ...

It has a history,
the architecture is really ancient,

and there are beautiful castles there.

Wherever you go there is a story.

Even in going to the small villages,

and just living alongside the people,

you'll see that there are
traditional ways of preparing food,

and ways of speaking and singing.

There's a cultural legacy.

Of course.

Do you talk to
your sons about Syria?

And all of these things?

Yes! With my youngest son,
when he was little, we always had

a habit that before bedtime,
we would tell him a story that we chose,

he would listen to
a story we would create,

All of the stories were all
about when I was a child in Syria,

about beautiful things,
and the food we would eat.

I cook,

sometimes different types of food,

but the food I cook most
is the food my mum taught me to make,

and the children like to know
whether the food that night is Syrian.

Naturally, there are little things,
habits, words that we always use,

because they're part
of the place where I was raised.

These things are in my blood.

My children love to try the things,

that I've told them about.

The same goes for celebrations.

They love occasions that we
would celebrate in Syria like Eid.

We can't recreate them
as they were in Syria for them,

where everyone comes together
and wishes each other a Happy Eid.

But we try to do something.
We went out and got ice cream this Eid.

I'll give them some change to get one,

or we'll go for a walk at the beach.

You try to preserve
things the best you can.

The culture, language,

the traditions.

I hope that they hold onto
the tradition??s that we have taught them.

(Of course.)

You brought your traditions with you,

What other physical things
did you bring with you?

Were there specific things
that you brought from Syria?

For example,

Photographs or perhaps
something physical like that?

Goodness Daisy,
In honesty I brought so many things.

My bags were huge!

There was a big section,

for things I didn't think I'd find here

Things that are really preious to me.

The things that made me feel at home.

I also brought a fair amount of food.

The food in Syria ...

It has such an important role in society.

Food means something,
It's about more than just eating.

There's a different taste to it,
and there's a story to every meal.

So my mum filled my suitcases
with little bits of food I thought I

might not be able to find here.

It was, afterall,
the first time we had come here!

But I brought a few extra little bits.

For example,
in the morning, you wake up to a coffee,

with coffee being important to Syrians.

A true Syrian coffee is bitter and black.

It's very strong.

But with regards to the specific cups,
I was worried that I might not be able

to find any 'fanajeen' cups here
because you all drink coffee with milk.

So I brought some with me.

I didn't buy new ones,
I brought my mum's fanajeen.

Because they smell of her,
and they are from her house.

See, these two here.

When I have my morning coffee in these,
it takes me back to the mornings spent

with my mum and sisters drinking coffee.

When you've finished there's always
a bit of black coffee left at the bottom,

so you turn it upside down

and after you can read
the lines made by the leftovers.

(English)

Have you tried it in the UK?

Sorry?

Have you tried it with friends in Britain?

We do laugh,
it's more of a joke than anything else!

But of course,
we've let people try our Syrian coffee

and explained the idea to them.

but its nothing serious,
we just do it to have a laugh.

It's something that's so precious to me.

It's something that's a part of my life
drinking coffee with my mum and sisters.

Another thing,
the year after we came,

I felt that ...

Like I said,
Syria has a very rich history,

and in terms of hand crafted pieces,

like handmade stuff,

there are so many beautiful pieces

made in Damascus.

They make mosaics:

even houses and furniture
all made from mosaic tiles.

So, for example, I brought this with me.

(That's beautiful.)

I brought it because
the mosaic and the lines and patterns

really remind me of Syria.

There are lots of Old-Arab style
buildings and houses in Damascus.

Where everything,

the chairs, the wardrobes,

all made with these
mosaics and patterns.

It's like a jewellery box!

I began to feel,

that with anything precious,
I wanted to put it in this box.

But really the box isn't at all valuable,

It's just priceless to me.

The box is worth more
than anything inside of it.

(Of course)

All of these little pieces are so lovely.

You speak a lot about
your mum who is still in Syria,

have you been able to
go back to Syria to see her?

Yes! I went back and
saw them after a year here,

and I really enjoyed this idea of

I'm not sure how you say it in Arabic

'Closure'.

You go and
see the people you love,

you smell them, you hug them,
you get to know that they are ok,

and then you go back to
where you're living your own life,

So the first year I went,
I remember when I returned,

I got off the train
said to my husband was:

"Home Sweet Home"

It was because really loved Exeter,

and because I was relaxed
and happy having seen my family.

After the war it got harder to go back.

There wasn't a time where
I felt safe to take my children there.

So, no.

And this is something that's really hard.

It's something that always
leaves you thinking 'Why?'

People should be able to choose where
they want to go now, who they want to see.

Any country in the world

can be your home.

Maybe that's the country you're in,
or your homeland, but the important thing

is that you get to choose.

The circumstances were hard.

You know what happened in Syria,
with the war and the situation there,

and this prohibited me
from going to see my mum.

So things were hard.
My emotions ran higher.

Distance is hard.
It's not nice at all.

(Yes, Of course.)

...

I was thinking before about
how of course nowadays everyone speaks

on facebook or on whatsapp and such,

and so I wanted to ask you:
When you speak to your mum on the phone

or on whatsapp,

What do you tell her
about Exeter and Devon?

What are the photos that you send her of?

I like to let her see my garden
and my beautful trees and flowers.

I don't like to send her
anything negative that has happened,

because a mother's heart
is precious, loving and easily broken,

so why would I break her heart while

I'm far away.

So, in honesty,
I only ever send her happy photos.

I show her the nature.

How we are stable,
Alhamdullah (Thanks to God.)

The hardships in Syria
have become material ones.

There's no electrcity or water or gas.

They the are daily struggles.

So when she sees
that I don't suffer these hardships,

she tells me that I am lucky
'Alhamdullah' (Thanks to God.)

So I tell myself this to stay happy.

(Yes, of course.)

You spoke about the word 'home',

(and 'home sweet home')

I'm not sure if house and (home)
have the same meaning in both languages.

But, for you,

What does the word home mean to you?

You said before that maybe its a homeland,

but for you personally,
what does home mean to you?

Family,

and the friends that are around you.

They are the most important thing.

Because no matter where you go,

the atmosphere may change,
the natural surroundings may change,

life changes,

But for any individual
these people remain essential,

They bring you peace.

They are your true home.

It's where you feel safe and at peace.

That's beautiful. Thank you.

I would love to ask you more about ...

of course home means so many things ...

We spoke before about your work in Exeter.

Could you tell us about what it is you do?

I'm a community builder.

I work with the
Exeter Community Initiatives.

My job as a community builder
is about working on social connections.

I work on building connections

within neighbourhoods,

in our society,

and between people in general.

I encourage them to find
different ways to connect with each other,

and to use their own skills
and energies to grow their communities.

Even just in the street where they live.

I chose this job because
it helps me feel more like I belong here,

and grows my relationships and
communication with people more and more.

It makes me happy.

I love the idea behind this job so much.

And of course, this job exists also
for the future of people and children

and future societies and communities.

When you think about the future,
specifically your own future and that of

your children,

What do you think of?

Is it Exeter?

And not just in terms of place
but also with regards to feelings,

What will your future
and that of your children be like?

My future is wide-open.

For now, I want to work on myself,

as much as I'm able to,

so that I'll be ready for
any change that life brings.

For me on a personal level,

Having come from Syria
and now I living here,

even up until now
I still don't feel comfortable here.

Twelve years hasn't
granted me full stability

For a number of reasons.

So many reasons.

Here,

there are pressures,

that come from ...

I can't explain it,

it's just the way of life here.

(Inaudible)

I've thought about what I can do.

I have these two young children.

I have my husband.

We are working, studying and trying.

Let us try to keep
making our situation better,

and just do family life and enjoy it.

Let us try to connect
with the place that we are in.

We might end up in any part of the world.

It's all open to us now.

Perhaps we will
change everything completely,

because we still aren't settled
or connected to any specific place.

There's no place we want to stay forever.

The idea is that,

wherever you go,

build up your little community,

build relationships
and connect with people.

Live the culture,

as far as you're able to.

And hope for the best.

Of course.

Maisaa, I can't explain how ....

I can only say thank you to you.

Goodness!

thank you so so much.

(Bless you darling)

Thank you for this conversation today.

I really enjoyed hearing about
your life and now your work in Exeter.

Wow, I've never heard about it before,
but this concept of 'Community Builders'

It's such a wonderful thing for Exeter.

And it was wonderful to hear
about Syria and everything to do with it.

I mean ....

I don't have questions.

but is there anything in particular
that you would like to say before we stop?

I would just like to say
something little to those who are settled.

When a place is your own homeland,

Anyone who is new to the place.

Welcome them.

Because they really need someone to
accept them with kindness, a kind word

or advice.

This makes someone feel safe.

(English)

Thank you so so very much.

Thank you Daisy.