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Key & Peele: Cunnilingus Class

  • 0:05 - 0:08
    - WHAT UP, HOMIES?
    - WELCOME TO...
  • 0:08 - 0:09
    both: CUNNILINGUS CLASS.
    - I'M SHABOOTS MICHAELS.
  • 0:09 - 0:11
    - I'M T-RAY TOMBSTONE.
  • 0:11 - 0:11
    - AND WE'RE HERE TO TEACH Y'ALL
    HOW TO...
  • 0:11 - 0:13
    both:
    GO DOWN ON BITCHES RIGHT.
  • 0:13 - 0:15
    - NOW BITCHES AIN'T BEING
    SATISFIED, SO CHECK IT.
  • 0:15 - 0:16
    - QUIT SUCKING
    ON THAT [bleep] SO DAMN HARD.
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    - BITCHES DON'T LIKE
    THAT NONSENSE.
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    - THAT'S LIKE PUTTING THE TIP
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    OF YOUR PENIS
    IN THE VACUUM.
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    - Y'ALL NEED TO...
    both: CHILL ON THE [bleep].
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    - GO AROUND THAT BUSINESS.
    - THAT'S LIKE A BUTTON
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    MADE OF A MILLION PENIS TOPS.
  • 0:26 - 0:28
    - NOW EVERY BITCH
    LIKE HER CUNNILINGUS
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    A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT.
    - VAGINAS ARE LIKE SNOWFLAKES.
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    - SNOWFLAKES IS DIFFERENT.
    LEARN YOUR BITCH'S SNOWFLAKE.
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    - ASK YOUR BITCH
    WHAT SHE WANTS.
  • 0:33 - 0:35
    both: THEN DO WHAT SHE SAYS.
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    - SOME BITCHES LIKE IT
    IN CIRCLES.
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    - SOME BITCHES
    LIKE IT UP AND DOWN.
  • 0:38 - 0:39
    - SOME BITCHES LIKE IT HARD.
  • 0:39 - 0:40
    - SOME BITCHES LIKE IT SOFT.
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    both: COMMUNICATE
    WITH YOUR BITCHES.
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    - MAKE THE ALPHABET
    WITH YOUR TONGUE.
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    - A-B-C-D...
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    - AND WHEN SHE GRAB YOUR HAIR
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    LIKE SHE GONNA PULL
    YOUR DAMN HEAD OFF...
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    both: STAY WITH THAT LETTER.
  • 0:50 - 0:53
    - I'M TALKING ABOUT B...
    [blathers]
  • 0:53 - 0:55
    - OR D...
    [blathers]
  • 0:55 - 0:57
    both: VAGINAS DESERVE RESPECT.
  • 0:57 - 0:58
    - YOU DON'T WANT SOMEONE
    SLAPPING AROUND
  • 0:59 - 1:01
    YOUR LITTLE HOMEY.
    [yelping]
  • 1:01 - 1:02
    - YOU WITH THE HAT.
    - YO.
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    - HOW YOU LIKE YOUR BJs?
  • 1:04 - 1:06
    - DAMN, DOG,
    ALL THE TIME.
  • 1:06 - 1:08
    - SHUT THE [bleep] UP!
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    THAT'S 'CAUSE PENISES IS EASY,
  • 1:09 - 1:11
    AND VAGINAS IS HARD.
  • 1:11 - 1:13
    THEY'RE...
    both: CONFUSING!
  • 1:13 - 1:16
    - IMAGINE THERE'S AN EXPLOSION
    AT THE ENVELOPE FACTORY.
  • 1:16 - 1:17
    - FLAPS EVERYWHERE.
    A WORLD OF FLAPS.
  • 1:18 - 1:20
    - AND YOU NEED TO LICK YOUR WAY
    OUT THE FACTORY.
  • 1:20 - 1:21
    - BUT EVERY BITCH'S FLAPS
    IS DIFFERENT.
  • 1:21 - 1:23
    - LEARN YOUR BITCH'S
    PARTICULAR FLAPS.
  • 1:23 - 1:25
    - FLAPS BE...
    both: CRAZY!
  • 1:25 - 1:27
    - EVERY FLAP
    NEED TO BE LISTENED TO.
  • 1:27 - 1:28
    - AND THEN YOU WILL GET OUT
    OF THAT FACTORY ALIVE.
  • 1:28 - 1:30
    - STAY DOWN THERE.
  • 1:30 - 1:33
    both: PLAN YOUR BREATHING
    LIKE YOUR SWIMMING.
  • 1:33 - 1:35
    - YOU GOTTA BE TALKING ABOUT...
    both: STROKE, STROKE, BREATHE.
  • 1:35 - 1:36
    STROKE, STROKE, BREATHE.
  • 1:36 - 1:38
    [gasping]
  • 1:38 - 1:39
    - ALL RIGHT.
    LET'S TAKE A FIVE-MINUTE BREAK.
  • 1:39 - 1:40
    - AND WHEN WE COME BACK,
    WE GONNA TALK
  • 1:41 - 1:42
    ABOUT WARMING YOUR BITCHES UP
    BEFORE YOU GET BUSY.
  • 1:42 - 1:44
    - AND HOW TO LAST
    FOR MORE THAN TWO DAMN MINUTES.
  • 1:44 - 1:45
    - TAKE A PEACH AND PRACTICE.
  • 1:45 - 1:47
    - PRACTICE ON A PEACH.
    - TAKE A PEACH AND PRACTICE.
  • 1:47 - 1:48
    - PRACTICE ON A PEACH.
    - TAKE A PEACH AND PRACTICE.
  • 1:48 - 1:49
    - PRACTICE ON A PEACH.
  • 1:59 - 2:02
    - WELL, I THINK
    IT'S GONNA WORK.
  • 2:02 - 2:05
    - 30 DOWN,
    3 BILLION TO GO.
  • 2:05 - 2:08
    [maniacal laughter]
Title:
Key & Peele: Cunnilingus Class
Description:
more » « less
Video Language:
English
Duration:
03:13

English subtitles

Revisions

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