Spelling Applebee's (English Subtitles)

Goddammit! Get your own damn food!

Oh, I can't!

Every time I go to the lunch store,

I pass by a really mean bully who makes me give him all my lunch money!

Do you want me to go to the store with you?

Yes...

So where is this bully?

Him? He's just a homeless guy!

Come on.

Spare some change for a vet?

Ugh. Get a job.

You're right. I suck.

Seeing Clara so brave, so strong, unlocked feelings inside me.

Feelings that I normally reserved for socks filled with warm mashed potatoes.

Now, they were all for her.

You are so dead after school.

Housemates, report to the Holo-Deck for an important announcement!

Ooh, we could be anywhere in the universe!

Computer, make it look like... um...

... our living room!

Eh, it looks fake.

Housemates: tomorrow you will compete in a Spelling Bee

for a chance to win a gift certificate to Applebee's!

I'd give Spanky's left testicle for an Applebee's coupon!

Too late. I already gave that testicle to my one true love: cancer.

Spelling Bee? I am sorry, uh-uh.

Like a cloud over the desert, I refuse to participate.

Foxxy, is this because you can't read? Because if so...

No, asshole! I can read and write real good.

I was once the best speller in the land.

Miss Love, for the win and your sixth consecutive spelling bee championship,

your word is: knickers.

Could you please repeat that word?

Knickers.

Use it in a sentence.

"It's wrong to mix whites with colored knickers."

You racist son of a bitch!

The Foxxy swore she would never spell any word correctly ever again.

Well, that explains Foxxy's obsession with Malcolm Q.

"If you want to see your cat again, you will go out with me."

Captain Hero! Did you write this?

Um... if I did, would you want to go out?

I don't know, Hero. We're roommates; it could get messy.

Take out the cat!

Oh my God! You killed Mrs Fluffybutt!

Oh, I'd kill any number of innocent things for just one date with you.

Aww, that's so romantic.

No one has ever felt strongly enough to kill for me!

So, like, you'll go out with me?

Yes.

Oh yay yay yay!

Mission accomplished, Xander.

I'm gonna be late for the spelling bee!

Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god!

Uh... D... O... G. Cat!

Oh, no. Close, but that's not the correct spelling of "centrifuge".

We're getting killed out there! Where's Foxxy?

Hey, barkeep, is that the Drawn Together spelling bee? Turn it up!

Welcome back to the Drawn Together Peanuts Gang Spelling Bee!

Like conjoined twins, these teams are going head to head, and only one will survive.

Survive? What are you talking about, Fred?!

Yeah, I scheduled the surgery for Saturday!

Sorry you had to find out this way!

Those Drawn Together kids are really getting their asses kicked.

Hey, ain't you five time world spelling bee champion the Foxxy?

I was... the once.

But I can't risk hurting anybody no more.

Foxxy, you can't run away from your problems.

Unless your problems are with some kind of tortoise!

I gotta go.

Hey, quiet down! It's the final round!

Ling-Ling, unless you spell this word correctly,

the Peanuts Gang will be the champs.

Your word is: el.

Oh yeah! We beat you worse than Linus's dad beats him!

You'll protect me, won't you, blue blanket?

Applebee's, here we come!

Not so fast, Peanut!

Don't forget about the Foxxy!

I am ready for my word.

Okay then, for the win, your word is: illogical.

As in, "You being allowed to compete after someone else has already won is highly illogical."

Congratulations! Drawn Together, you've won!

Hey, kid, you've got some real talent.

Really? Why, thank you, uh... Mr Hamm!

Stick with me, and you'll be the biggest thing to come out of spelling since Tori's fat head!

Why you dissin' on Tori?

She knows what she did.

At last, it was the night of my big date with Clara,

and I wanted everything to go perfectly.

Oh, shoot! A thousand pardons. Allow me, m'lady.

Get off me!

It was as if everything on the date that could have gone wrong did. Oh, I have the worst luck!

Captain Hero, take me home.

What? You're not having fun?

You're making out with our waiter!

Shh, don't be mean to him, or he'll spit in our food!

Congratulations, Keith Franklin, winner of the Get Drawn In Sweepstakes! You're on Drawn Together!

I'm so sorry!

I don't want to speak to you ever again!

This isn't the way I pictured our date at all. I pictured it more like this.

Oh, what was I thinking? I don't deserve someone as great as you.

Just like I don't deserve to wear the tie my father was buried in.

Look out! It's a clip-on tie!

I'll have what she's having.

My date with Clara was wonderful.

And even better, I learned she had a secret sexual fetish for car crashes!

I hope we can do this again.

We started going out a lot, and I think Clara really liked me!

I was more excited than a passed-out college girl in my bedroom!

Oh, Clara, I have to tell you something; three beautiful words that have been swelling in my heart.

Where you at?

Ooh, you guys are having beers at the triplex parking lot? Of course I'm in! Come pick me up.

I'm gonna go hang out with my friends now. Call you later!

But what about those three words I was going to tell you...

"No fat chicks!"

Uh, T... R...

Come on, bitch! What's wrong, not knowing how to spell got your tongue?

I quit!

Foxxy Love, you are the new world champ of spelling!

With Spanky by my side, I spelt my way back to the top.

Mama was right: spelling is something you never forget how to do, like stealing a bike.

Foxxy! Foxxy! Foxxy!

Foxxy Love, it's true what everybody is saying about you.

You're the new not as pretty ghetto Anna Kournikova of spelling bees not tennis!

I just want to thank the Lord Jesus Christ my Savior for this award...

Don't give that bitch a statue. Give her some balls!

What did you say, Hadji?

You heard me, chump.

I am the number one spelling bee contender,

but you're too scared to face me!

I ain't scared of nothing except dying alone,

so unless you want to marry me, which I would like very much,

I will take you any time!

How about right now? Street spell-off!

Let's do this.

Hey, look! The 7-11's hiring!

Mom and Dad got fired?

Yes! Ooh, I like that bitch, don't I!

Sounds like somebody is falling in love...

Hello? Yeah, he's still here. He's really clingy.

So what are you guys doing now? Pounding silver bullets for the leech-filled pond? Come get me!

Clara, I'm beginning to think that maybe you're just in this for the crashes and nothing more.

Ugh, why do you have to go and ruin a good thing?

It's just that we had something special. I thought we would be together forever!

Listen, baby, maybe I'll call you later if I'm in need of a little late-night fatality. Alright?

No, it's not alright! If you get in that pumpkin, so help me, it's over!

Whatever.

I now know the true meaning of pain!

♪ Well, everybody hurts sometimes... ♪

♪ Everybody cries... ♪

Spanky, why did you stop me from taking on Hadji?

I could've beat him!

Foxxy deserved to know the truth, but how could I tell her without upsetting her too much?

The only reason you're a champ is because...

You've been spelling against chumps.

Whatchu mean?

The Spelling Commission wanted a great black hope for the spelling world.

They hoped you'd do for spelling what R Kelly did for pissing on teenagers.

So all your matches were fixed.

Oh, Lord... even that imaginary pineapple?

That's right, pineapple. You too sweet to spell!

You saying I'm a fraud?

Spanky, don't. Just... don't.

When I found Captain Hero in my closet crying and not masturbating,

I knew something was wrong.

So I took him out to do the one thing that always cheers him up: trying on wedding gowns!

What do you think? Too Princess Di?

Oh, Hero, I brought you here to get your mind off slutty princesses and car crashes.

I loved her... and she was only using me...

Well, it was her loss, Hero.

What do you think?

Uh, too Ellen DeGeneres.

You just need to promise yourself to never let Clara use you anymore.

You're right, Xander. I'll make sure she never enjoys another car crash ever again!

So, you like?

Nah, too Tori Spelling.

Why you dissin' on Tori?

She knows what she did.

I'm off!

And so I set off to put those evil car crashes out of business!

♪ I need a hero ♪

♪ I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night ♪

♪ He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast ♪

♪ and he's gotta be fresh from the fight ♪

♪ I need a hero ♪

♪ I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light ♪

♪ He's gotta be sure -- ♪

Now this is just boring. Guess I'll go back to beating the wife.

Woman! Where's my beating belt?

On the floor where you left it!

Please don't yell at me... this is exactly what we talked about at Dr Schwartz's office.

What is this I hear about you challenging Hadji?

I got to take him, Spanky. I'm a speller; I can't change what I is!

He's too fast, too smart, too not-American. You can't win, Fox!

♪ There's no easy way out ♪

♪ There's no shortcut home ♪

♪ There's no easy way out ♪

♪ Giving in can't be wrong ♪

♪ Ooh, that freak me out! It's a turtle! ♪

♪ What's it doing here? ♪

♪ Oh, I'll stand back. Great googley moogley! ♪

♪ That ain't even in this episode! ♪

You a disgrace, a liar, a fraud. You make me sick!

Hey, what's going on, Foxxy? We've got training to do!

But I can't beat Hadji. You told me yourself.

You can't live several minutes in the past. This is the part of the story where I build you back up.

You're right, Spanky!

All right, champ, let's get to work.

Ooh, can we play that Rocky training song?

Only if we can afford it...

It ain't the same without the real song...

Captain Hero, thanks to you, our highways are safe once again.

Mister Mayor, I am only one man-- with three different personalities-- and I can promise you:

There will be no car crashes on my watch, homes!

Hero hungry, need his bottle.

Waka waka waka waka

Flavor flav!

Thank you, thank you.

Hero, can we talk?

HE HAS NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU!

Shut up, Xander! Can't you have one pair of lips that isn't always flapping in the wind?

I understand if you hate me. But I still think about you... a lot.

You miss the crashes. That's what you miss.

Sure, they were fun. But people being horribly maimed and disfigured means nothing

if I can't share it with you.

Maybe we could give it one more shot, and cause a different kind of crash... between our hearts.

Boooooooo!

Sir, please come with me.

What? I didn't do anything!

I warned you...

I can boo if I want. It's a free country-- hey, get off me!

I warned you!

Hey, leave me alone, what are you do--

Think about it, Hero. You know where to find me.

I'm so glad you gave us a second chance.

Well, at first--

SHUT UP! I mean, shut your fucking face, my sweet.

Why don't you, you know, cause a little fatal car accident, you big stud?

Maybe we should take this slow. I'm still a little raw.

One car crash, coming right up!

Oh, Clara... I love you.

Eww! Can't you love me without touching me?!

What? I thought you cared about me!

Oh, come on, Hero.

You know you're only good for a few crashes, that's it!

Now, if you'll excuse me, my friends will be here any second.

We're off to shotgun brewskies at the Crystal Meth Addicted Ebola Monkey Preserve.

Oh, I figured you would act this way. So I've arranged to teach you a lesson.

Help! Someone, please, help!

Oh my God!

Sleeping Beauty? Snow White? Ariel?

I can't feel my fin!

That's what we get for letting Mulan drive..

Stay with me, Sleeping Beauty!

But I'm tired... so very tired....

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Well, once again, Captain Hero has saved the day.

And remember, kids: never mess with the emotions of a dangerous lunatic.

I'm off!

Captain Hero Man! Captain Hero Man!

You can do it, Foxxy! You'll never beat him! Go get him, kid!

I must break you.

Foxxy Love, your word is: time-dissolve.

It's been an incredible match. Foxxy Love hasn't made a single error!

Unlike a certain careless surgeon I know.

Serves you right, asshole. Now back to the match!

Foxxy, for the win, your word is: knickers.

Here, I'll use it in a sentence. "Can a knicker get a table dance?"

You racist son of a--

Foxxy, you can and/or can't not do it!

Knickers. K-N-I-C-K-E-R-S. Knickers.

Foxxy Love is the new world champion of spelling!

I did it, Spanky! I'm the champ!

So the Foxxy overcame her fear of words that sound like other words.

I did it! I did it for my knickers!

Foxxy! Foxxy! Foxxy! Foxxy! Foxxy! Foxxy!