How To Be Authentic - Teal Swan -

Teal Swan on How To Be Authentic, explains that most of our lives in this society is lived in pretense and fakeness and inauthenticity. In self-development we seek to be our authentic selves. Authenticity is often forfeited in society to keep the status quo, your job and your friends. But are these things worth the price of not being ourselves? Teal Swan goes on to explain How To Be Authentic and live in a state of authenticity.

Teal Swan is an International Spiritual Leader. She offers perspective on a wide range of topics including relationships, anxiety, meditation, shadow work, the law of attraction, The Completion Process, healing, PTSD, emotions and spirituality

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Endsong:
Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel

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Authenticity is a word that you hear

flying around self help circles and

psychology offices and

spiritual communities all the time.

I myself am leading an
authenticity movement

But what the hell does that mean?

In this episode I'm going to tell you

"How To Be Authentic"

Something that is authentic is not copied.

It's genuine, it's real and it's true.

As authenticity applies to a human beings

we must follow the reality that each

and every person comes into this life as a

unique expression of source consciousness.

This means, each person comes with

a unique essence, like
an energetic signature

and our unique purpose
and unique thoughts

and unique feelings
and unique desires

and unique needs
and unique role within

the greater universe is
embedded in that essence.

Our process of progression through this

planet should be a
process of unfolding.

Kind of like when a flower blooms.

So you can recognize each person

as if they are a lotus blossom.

Their unique essence
which is encoded with

their purpose and
everything else that we

think has to do with authenticity

is like a pearl inside of that lotus.

Now... if we are allowed to unfold

it naturally opens, exposing that pearl

but the process of socialization

on planet earth does not go this way.

If we allowed an unfolding

of the authentic aspect of each person

the parenting and socialization process

would be a process of
enabling a child to unfold.

If we did not interfere
with this process

and simply met the unique needs

of the unique child in front of us,

it would naturally happen this way.

But we live in a world
where the process

of socialization and therefore parenting,

is quite often an impediment
to the process of unfolding.

When we come into the world

people do not look at us as if

we are a lotus blossom

and like it's their job to help us unfold

so they can see the mystery and the magic

and the present in the
gift of what we are.

Instead they look at us like we are

raw material that needs to be molded

Almost like we do not have

an innate essence and they know what's

best for that person to become
so let's shape them into that.

They tell us that certain things are

acceptable and if we are those things,

we will be good and be safe.

And other things are unacceptable and

if we do that, we will be bad and unsafe

So naturally all of these vulnerable

aspects of us, anything that might be

real about us, that might be unacceptable

have to be hidden from view.

We begin a process of splitting ourselves.

We put forward only the things about us

that make us loved and safe in the world

and the rest we keep hidden.

It is as if we will not
let certain lotus

petals open and
therefore keep the

pearl hidden so as
to fit into the world,

be loved and feel safe.

What this means that
our personalities are

in essence, totally fake.

Because the parts
of you that you put

forward to the world
(your personality) -

those are just the
things that kept you

the most safe and most
accepted in the world.

And that changes
based on whatever

external condition, culture,

fill in the blank, you grew up in.

Our personalities are merely the
part of us that we identified with

or developed so as to
stay safe and away from

vulnerability in the
specific situations

that we were raised in.

We suppress, reject,
deny and disown

the aspects that make us vulnerable
or get us disapproved of in the world.

By doing this, they become subconscious.

They are buried outside of our awareness

and we do not know they even exist.

To understand more about this process,

I encourage you to watch my video titled:

"Fragmentation, The Worldwide Disease"

We can only be authentic to the degree

that we currently know ourselves.

That's scary, it means we

can only be authentic to the

degree that we are self aware.

That's scary, because the majority of us

is suppressed into our subconscious

Long story short guys -

we are not very aware of ourselves.

Most of us are basically copies.

Copies of what we saw succeeding

in other people.

We are not genuine, not real and

do not reflect what is true at our core.

Our commitment to unfolding usually

ends up being something that we have

to take charge of and allow to

happen in spite of the world.

We end up having to sort through

illusion to find what is real about us.

The process of becoming authentic,

which is finding your essence again
and following that and allowing it to

be shared with the world is no
different that the process of awakening.

And so, for the sake of awakening,
I will give you some tips about

how to be authentic.

Step 1 .The simplest
way to understand

authenticity (aside from discovering
your innate essence)

is it's the conscious mending of
the incongruences between your

inner world and your outer world.

That means, whats on the inside is

exactly the same as
what's on the outside.

This is the opposite of

the wolf in sheep's clothing.

I know that many of
you have heard that.

So obviously, if there is a sheep that's

in wolf's clothing, or a wolf that's

in sheep's clothing, either way,

it's not authentic, because

what's on the inside is not a direct

reflection of what's on the outside.

There are all kinds of inconguences

in the world when it comes to people.

For example, let's take a guy who

hates his work.

On the inside he really wants

to do something else,
so you could say

that his external job does not match

his internal desires for what job

he wants to have.

That's inauthentic.

When a person says
they like someone or

acts as if they do,
when the truth is they

hate them and want
to be nowhere near

them, this is inauthentic.

When a person says
they are not artistic,

because they suppressed that
inside themselves long ago,

this is not authentic.

When a person denied
how they feel

because they have
learned certain feelings

are not acceptable,
this is not authentic.

When we care so
much about seeing

ourselves as good that
we cannot admit to

aspects within us
that wouldn’t seem

so good, we are inauthentic.

When we have two
Facebook accounts,

one for the people
we know from work

and family and one
for the things we are

actually interested
in that they would

negatively judge us for,

we are inauthentic.

When we are gay
but we pretend to

be straight, we are
being inauthentic.

To be honest, our entire society

is based on pretenses.

But the time has
come for this to end,

it is one of the greatest
barriers to awakening.

So the question to live by is:

Is there any incongruence between
my outer self and inner self?

2. It is a far bigger deal to not even

admit to or not even
realize, even worse,

that there is an
incongruency between

your outer and inner world

then it is to just deliberately choose

to be inauthentic.

I would love if we lived in a world

where 24 hours a day
every person could

be authentic, but let's just be honest -

none of us can take that
amount of honesty.

And on top of that,

the world is not set
up for that, right?

If you walk in to your
boss today and say

"Look, I hate you -
that's the reality!"

it's not going to go
so well for you, so

what's more important,
far more important

than mending all the
incongruencies so

that there isn't any,
is being conscious

of those incongruencies.

For some of you, there
may be times that

call for you to be
consciously inauthentic.

These scenarios which
force us to question

our own potentially
limited perspective

and also consult our
own conscience,

are a dramatic call
for us to awaken.

But proceed into
authenticity knowing that

becoming authentic
is much more about

becoming aware of
what is REAL and

from there, you get to
consciously choose

how to share that
realness with the world

and what part of it
to share according

to your own continually evolving

and expanding perspective.

The biggest adversary
to authenticity

is not pretending. It is denial.

For this reason, I
want you to watch my

Ask Teal episode that is titled:

How to Call Bulls#!t on Denial.

3. If we want to be
authentic we have to

develop the willingness to look bad

to ourselves and to other people.

Now, that may sound easy, right? No!

The single biggest attachment

that our egos have

is to the sense of being good.

Shame is the #1 enemy
to the human ego

and shame is about

"there is something bad
and wrong about me"

so it's a lot easier
said than done

to admit to things within us

that other people or even we

would judge as bad.

It's even harder than that

to admit it to the world.

But this is absolutely a prerequisite

of authenticity.

We have to face and work with

what is REAL about us.

And REAL includes both sides

of the spectrum - positive and negative.

Here is the reality - most people are

only willing to be authentic when

they have been inauthentic for SO long

that the pain has become SO extreme

that suddenly the consequences

of being authentic are worth it.

But I'm asking you
to be authentic before

you get pushed up against

that kind of a wall.

Accept what is real about yourself,

regardless of whether

you judge it as good or bad.

To a certain degree
all people wrestle

with what is.

We could say it is part
of why our species

is so incredibly progressive.

We weren't satisfied
with sitting in caves

and banging on
tools and so we

built this entire society

that you see before you.

Now we can say that
it's a thing of beauty

but it also gets in our way.

If we're unwilling to
accept something

we're constantly
fighting against what is

to the degree that

we don't even want
to admit it's there.

Acceptance is the opposite

of denial and avoidance.

What does it mean
to accept something?

To accept is to recognize
something as valid or correct.

Doing this makes
your being consent

to receiving it and
digesting it as truth

instead of fighting to
not acknowledge it

and not take it in.

Remember that
acceptance has

nothing to do with
condoning something

or condemning something.

It has nothing to do with whether you
want to change something or not.

It is simply about being able

to acknowledge something
as valid enough

to let that acknowledgement in

instead of fight to keep it out.

4. The heart of being authentic

is to be vulnerable

because of the process
I described earlier

where we hide our vulnerability

behind protector aspects of us,

whatever keeps us safe,

so a lot of our real truth is hidden

in those vulnerable aspects.

A lot of us think we are expressing

the entire truth about ourselves

and how we feel

when all we're expressing

is something that keeps us safe.

So we're only expressing the truth

through the aspects of us

that kept us safe,

not the vulnerability behind it.

Here is what I mean -

You could think it’s
authentic to express

“you know what, you’re just too

self centered to pay
attention to anyone

except yourself and
where you want to go.”

This is actually just defense.

And it only represents
our anger, when that

is a small fraction
of what is real.

Being authentic might look

something more like this…

“That was terrifying,
it made me feel

like I was invisible
and didn’t matter.”

One of the best ways
to express yourself

authentically is to ask yourself

in these scenarios you get into -

what is the opposite of
defending myself right now?

or - what is it that I'm
trying to defend?

Whatever you are trying to defend

is the vulnerability

that you need to be authentic about.

Relative to authenticity, expression is

about telling the whole truth,

not just parts of it.

That includes a whole range of emotions.

For this reason, I want you to watch

my video titled:

How To Express Your Emotion.

5. The root of authenticity is

knowing how you feel and admitting

how you feel to other people.

We are living in the
emotional dark age -

one thing that we are
most shamed for

and this doesn't matter
what culture you

were growing up in,
it's the case today -

is how you feel.

We are not validated
for our emotions.

So our own access
to our emotions

is super, super limited.

But your emotions function
like a compass,

they're telling you
at all moments

of the day where you stand,

what you're thinking, your reality

at this moment.

So if you have no access
to your emotions

and you can't admit
them to yourself,

you don't even know
where you stand.

You can't do anything with that.

You can only work with something

that's REAL.

You also can't communicate
to other people

in a way where they
can do anything

with your emotions.

They can't improve
the way you feel

if you don't even
know how you feel.

In the same way that a compass tells you

where you are located in space

and what direction to go,

your emotions tell you what vibration you

are currently holding
and what direction

to go to improve that
personal frequency.

So that the circumstances of your

outer life are in alignment

with your inner life, your essence.

Your emotions are also the doorway to

discovering the subconscious limitations

you have which are preventing

your authenticity.

Look, we don't understand emotions and

we don't understand
what they're there for

so I want you to understand
emotions better

for this reason I'm
going to ask you to

watch my video titled:

The Emotional Wake-Up Call

6. Become aware of your thoughts

and of your beliefs.

Beliefs and thoughts are a funny thing -

because they can either be

a direct reflection of your essence

or they can be the very thing

covering up your essence.

The reality of me is that I may be

thinking a thought like

“no one will ever love me”.

That thought may be preventing me

from uncovering my essence.

The thought itself may be an illusion,

but it is still real

because I am really thinking it.

And I can only question
it and discover

that it is an illusion

if I can admit that it is there.

I can only change a core belief

once I know that it is there.

I want you to become
conscious of the fact

that truth and illusion are both part

of what is real.

Step 7. Most of us

do not see ourselves objectively,

we don't see our actual actions.

This is because when we're

walking through our life we are

looking through our limited perspective,

we're not looking at us

looking through our perspective

like other people are.

This is part of why it is

SO much more obvious to you

what's going on with other people.

However to other people it's

kind of obscure.

So I want you to
get into the habit

of objective viewing.

One of the best ways to do this

is to sit down and to
begin to meditate

just like you would
any other meditation.

But when you close your eyes

you're going to imagine stepping out of

your body, so that you're watching you.

Practice with this a little bit.

Then what you can do,
is you can take that

perspective, but go
to watch yourself

over the course of the day.

Obviously, if you're
a fly on the wall

or a bird, you're not
intimately related

to the person that
you are, and so

it's easier to see the reality

of how it is to see
you in the world

interacting with other people.

This is what objective viewing

is all about.

So pretend you're watching you

have an argument

or you're watching you

in any number of scenarios.

This is one of the best ways

to become honest about

what is REALLY you.

Another thing that's so awesome

about this objective
viewing process is

you get to see how
inauthentic you are.

You get to see those
moments when

you may be standing there
and somebody you

can't stand comes up and is like "Hey!"

and you're like "Oh hiiii"

You'll see yourself do that.

It gives you a lot of information about

who you REALLY are and how you

REALLY feel in this moment.

If you wanna really take this

to the next level, film yourself.

But it's also the best if you can

film yourself when you don't know

you're being filmed.

I don't know how you're going to

achieve that one, but let's say

that you decide to film yourself.

What I want you to notice is how tense

you feel in your body when you know

that someone's watching.

How different your actions become

when you know that there's an audience.

That is an indication about

how inauthentic you're actually being.

If you even have that sensation

it's inauthenticity.

You can only work with

something that is real.

Unless you know and admit to what you

really think, really feel, really want,

really need and actually do, you are

working with illusion and you are

not going to get anywhere.

It's like building a castle on thin air.

It is inevitable that it will crumble.

Anything in life can either be true to

our unique essence or the very thing

that is preventing us from uncovering

that unique essence.

Literally anything you do that makes you

more self-aware is a step in the direction

of authenticity.

Authenticity is the highest state

that a person can achieve.

In the years to come, authenticity

is going to replace the concept

of enlightenment

as the true goal of spirituality.

We are going to be journeying closer and

closer to our essence.

This is really really good news,

because it means that our life

and the society around us is going to be

one that helps us unfold as people

instead of becoming the very thing

that molds us, suppresses us,

and keeps us completely hidden.

Have a good week.