ASU MARE LA PELICULA (English Subtitles)

This is my neighbourhood

If these walls could talk...

... and this is my mum

Today is a special day

Why? because today i'll be born

Hello

Oh Hello, wait a minute...

Hello can I help you?

I wanted to know if... sorry,
I think I've got the wrong address

No, this is the right place...
what do you need?

They told me... someone can
read the cards here?

Oh... A tarot card reading!

Of course. SOCORRO!!!
Come, come come...

A tarot card reading

Help me with that girl

THAT GIRL!!

So... are you ready to know
Your past, your present...

... and your future?

Godmother.... the cookies?

- Cookies at afternoon tea
- My vanilla cookies?

- cookies? - Tea
- cookies? - Tea!

Cookie? - Tea.

So, are you ready?
That way please.

Hold this, hold this...

Have you got cookies?

Let's start

- You are pregnant!
- Yes!

Let's find out who's the miserable

- No, I know that miserable very well

So?

I want to know if it's going to be a girl

Wait, I need to connect with the
astral spirits...

Pick a card

Whichever... it doesn't matter

It's going to be a boy!

but, not any boy...

You have in your tummy a boy
who will be a star...

that will shine in the firmament

... and he will give you many joys

So many joys...

He will be as famous as...
the most famous!

That's right Oh Oh....

Ohh what?
Oh Oh..., the baby is coming!

Don't make a mess here!

STOP! STOP!!

STOP! Hey! Curse you!

Where do you want to go?

To the hospital!
Where else do you think?

to your mum's house?

Hurry, hurry... beautiful, good to go

Help! Help!

We need help here!

Careful... please...

Careful...

Oh shit

That's my mother,
always standing.

She didn't mind not being
attended on time...

... or that my Dad didn't show up

And she didn't mind being
in labour for 28 hours!

From the day 1 you worked very
hard to get me ahead, Mum

... and because of that I will be
forever grateful

♪ I have so many reasons to despise you ♪

♪ And yet I want you to be happy ♪

♪ And in the after life
you find glory instead of hell ♪

♪ and a cloud of your memory
could vanish me ♪

Ok Cachin, close your eyes, go to sleep

When are you going to
fall asleep? You little shit!

It's 3am and I have to get up at 6am!!

"Agoo... Agoo" little shit

you are almost 18 years old
and still "agoo agoo".

Sorry for not being polite
Let me introduce you to my mother

sorry, sorry...

My mother is a lovely woman.
Really.

120 cm tall

without thongs 110cm

She's is tiny, but she's refined. Pure...

Pure-bread "Pitbull"

Never dare to do this to her...
or make a sound with your teeth

from where she is...
she jumps 6 metres

straight to the neck!
What did you say little shit?!

Let go mum please!

She is the type of woman who
does everything around the house

♪ The anguish of not seeing you
torments me... ♪

♪ It hurts me like a dart... ♪
Come down boys, breakfast is getting cold!

It's nearly 7am you have to go to school!

That melodious voice was changing

Come down, did you hear me boys?

It's nearly 7am!

YOU LITTLE SHIT
How long am I going to wait for you!

She would use one those phrases
Peruvian mothers use

"Talk back to me one more time
and I'll make you sit on the hot stove"

How dare this shit talk back to me
in that way?

A slap across the face and I'll turn
your head around like the Exorcist!

If you want to walk forward
you will walk backwards

What scared me the most was when she
used to chase me while saying...

Today I'm giving you a blood bath!
Come here!, Come here!!

How dare you to
talk back to me

One of these days...
I won't stop until they put me in jail!

Wait!.... SHIT!

Hello?

I know why you are laughing

because there are many of you
here just like her.

But when there was a party at my place
she would change...

You have to see her there!

Cachin, son, come down!

Thank you all for being here!
What a beautiful music!

Cutlery...

Finally Chabelita!

Chabelita, don't forget my "pisco"
I don't want to get wrinkles like...

"an old woman's ass"

Cutlery... cutlery....

What am I gonna eat Chabelita?

I'll start with the dessert...

Naughty!

Your friend looks good!

Cachin! I'm waiting for you!

And this boy with the big head
is me

I have to entertain the uncles...

Play "festejo" Cachin will dance

He dances beautiful! come on!

Nephew... watch out
with the big jelly fish!

Down... down...

Break her, nephew... break her!

Oh, fatty fell down!

One moment please!

Cachin will play "El Cajón"

No, It's my birthday!

- At least bring some "pisco"...
- I'm also hungry!

Go on... play!

Where did you learn? Pretty good!

This is magic!

Nephew... Stop.

Big applause for Cachin!

That was the first time I received money

and that's how I started to love
the show business.

My neighbourhood is a beautiful place

where you never feel lonely

because there's always someone
willing to help you

I've never seen more
hard-working people in my life

well not everyone...
but the big majority

I discovered that if you study hard
you can have a bright future

and that creativity can overcome
any obstacles in life

and that faith and hope is the
last thing you lose

When you live in my neighbourhood
you learn many things

one of the main things I learnt...

... happened before I went to school
and learnt about Columbus

I discovered the world was rounded

In a soccer loving neighbourhood like mine
you have to give your best!

there's no other way

you are respected for
your soccer skills

and that's how I met my friends

Lettuce...

... Big Tin

El Culi...

Linga...

Snake...

and my brother Fernandito

Fernandito!

Fernandito son!

Fernando son! come on!

You worry me! get inside!

Paper, scissors, rock!

Big Tin! Great!!

Sotil!

Abu!

Snake!

Pepper!

Pelé!

Culi

And now, who's left?

My older brother was a pure boy

FERNANDITO!

And.. everyone used to make fun of him

My brother was not and idiot
he was only stupid

I'm not joking...

we would be playing soccer in the park

and he would grab the ball
- "This game is over!"

Hey! leave the ball, we are still playing!

No, mum is "huhuee huhuee"
let's go home

He said "huhuee huhuee"
because he couldn't whistle.

My brother would ask people's names
Someone was walking pass

he would stare at them...

"what's your name?"

Are you my friend?

"what's your name?"

We will be playing soccer

and he was like
"Look... look how beautiful!"

A little bug!

"what's your name?"

A pelican flying by...
"what's your name?"

Mum will whistle from 10pm to 10:15pm

10:15pm we forgot.
We were still playing soccer...

All of a sudden my friends...
Your mum... your mum!

Fuck off!

No! your mum is here!

We turn around and my mum...

At the park entrance,
holding the broom

and from the distance she would
do this signal

what does It mean? "now you will see!"

"Today I'll kill you little shits"

"Wait until the guests are gone
and I'll destroy you little shit

She will do the signal and run back home

to get there before us

She was only 1.20 metres

but she was a champion
in 100m hurdles race!

Mario Bros girlfriend

We ran and ran

We get there, the door was closed

We are too late!!

My brother: I told you how many times

Mum is "huhuee huhuee"

We were standing at the door...

10:30 at night and mum wasn't
opening the door

Mum open the door.. mum!!

My brother was smarter, he used to do this

EARTHQUAKE! mum EARTHQUAKE!

11:30pm Nothing!

Midnight... I could hear some noises

All of sudden... my mum would
open the door

M I E R D A A A A

The hinges made that noise at
that time of the night

M I E R D A A A A...

I swear.
I would stick my head in...

Mum?

My brother: mommy!

I saw you! don't hide from us!

Mum appeared...

But at that time we saw her like this!

Come in!

Come in boys...

Would you like a caramel apple?

Scary shit, I swear....

I think that's when my attraction
for acting started

because I used to make the same mistake

asking the same stupid question...

"Are you going to hit us?"

Mum: "I won't hit you.
Just look at the time!"

I'm whistling like an idiot
and nothing!

Come in quick!

But I could see a belt behind her

A massive belt...
thick with eight holes

and a buckle with
Che Guevara's face

I remember Che Guevara
was like this!

I was looking at the belt,
looking at my mum

That's when I discover
the gift of acting because...

... I looked at my mum, then at
the belt...

The bottom lip started to shake

mum mum mum
you are gonna hit me!

We all have been there before

On the first whip...

Later on I discovered that
doesn't work

It stimulates them more

My brother used look at me and say
"Don't cry little brother... "

"Men don't cry and the trees die standing"

I'll go first mum!

My brother would offer
himself in sacrifice...

Mum would grab him by the neck

Mum always liked to do things in order

When she hits you,
she does it in syllable order

HOW MANY TIMES I'VE TOLD YOU
NOT TO COME HOME THIS LATE!

And the second part
she would swing the belt

The second part is called
the "Get-inside" do you know it?

It's not a song. "Get inside, get inside
You little shit, get inside"

But just as she could be tough

she was also very affectionate

Specially if she felt bad about the
punishment from the previous night

Common boys, let's forget what
happened yesterday Ok?

Here's your nice breakfast... delicious...
help yourselves...

Aren't you going to eat?

I've got a surprise...

Guess where we are going?

To the fair?

No, guess again.

To Miami?

No, we'll go to Miami after
you finish primary school

It's something we watch on TV
all the time!

To the "Uncle Johnny TV Show"?

No, something else?

To the Gilligan island?

No Fernandito

We are going to see...

... FERRANDO!

We are going to be on TV!

Yes! Finally!

Ferrando is my favourite TV show!

Mine too, auntie Conchita knows
one of the guys who works there

And she got us tickets!

Ladies and gentlemen...

With you, the one and only...

Augusto Ferrando

Beautiful Peruvian people
Thank you for coming!

Who are our guests tonight?
Let's welcome the first one...

Good afternoon son, tell us...
What's your name?

My name is Rafael Rafaelo

And you are going to sing...

"No one knows"

No one knows!... do you know?
Now we'll find out...

Let's give him a round of applause

I want to dedicate this song to

all the mothers present here.

Specially to my dear mother

I know she's thinking of me

To you beautiful mother with love

♪ Of my secret desires... ♪

♪ Of my way of being ♪

♪ Of my wishes and dreams ♪

♪ No one knows ♪

♪ No one knows ♪

♪ No one knows ♪

♪ What I prefer or don't prefer in love ♪

♪ Sometimes without wanting to,
I hear a murmur ♪

♪ And I don't pay attention and I laugh
and I wonder... ♪

♪ No one knows ♪

♪ No one knows ♪

♪ If often don't even know myself
what I want ♪

I always wanted to come back
to Ferrando's TV show

to imitate Rafael

but it didn't happen.

Mum on the other hand, helped me
in my artistic career

Nobody could stop her

♪ No one knows ♪

♪ No one knows ♪

♪ What I like or dislike in this world ♪

♪ No one knows ♪

All the artists have their room
decorated like this

Do you like it?

Beautiful isn't it?

Ok, going to clean up
The house looks like shit

And unfortunately
my childhood ended

Because in my neighbourhood you
go the cradle to childhood...

and from childhood to adolescence

In one single jump

How are you? Big Tin! my goodness!

Lettuce!

Ronnie, Ronnie...

It's too late for you. Go home!

What are you doing outside at this time?

How about you... shit face

Let me have a smoke

Why not? I smoke too...

You see? give it to me!

Give a drink!

You can't drink

or your mum will kill you!

Monfu...

Boys...

What are you doing?
- Nothing

Just chatting

Drinking?

No, no way...

Give me a smoke

Don't be a smart ass,
there's nothing here!

Hey... and... that car?

Nice car!

And those headlights
come off easily!

Who wants to come with me?

no one?

Stupid kids!

Keep an eye if someone comes

I'm off to work

"Off to work"
he's going to steal!

headlights, everything...

That day I realised

You don't need to be tough
to gain respect

Hey young man!

What are you doing?

I'm going to call to police now

I had better results being a clown

Are you crazy?

If he comes don't say anything

Can you tell me
where have you been?

I've been playing soccer

Say hello to auntie Marujita

This is "Cachin"

Cachin! he turned out to be
so white, lucky you.

Do I get a kiss?

What's that smell?

Don't you start smoking

You know what happens to smokers

You know, first cigarettes,
then marihuana, and then...

Mum what are you saying!

If I find out, I'll slap your face
so hard it will break

Go and say hello to
Marujita's boyfriend

He's crazy for me

He's gonna buy me an apartment

in Miraflores

Lucky you!

Miraflores!

Cachin is handsome

And what does he want to be
when he grows up?

Your boyfriend... what's his job?

He's an engineer

"Industrial engineer"

Oh... what a coincidence...

... Cachin is going to be an engineer!

We have to go!

Oh, we run out of time.

So soon!

Come again another day...

maybe we can have a few drinks

Good bye

Cachin, walk them out.

Not only handsome but also a gentleman!

Bye.

I kept an eye on your car...

I made sure nothing happened to it.

I discovered that a fat wallet...

beats being a gentleman

and I wanted to be a gentleman...

... but I didn't have a fat wallet

ASU MARE

My mum was always passionate...

even more so when she gets
an idea in her head

... that's why my world of art
and music was turned into...

... a world of maths, physics,
chemistry...

And other things I swear...
I didn't have a clue.

And that dream of being an artist is over

Now you have to study

start from this corner
and go towards the window

Isn't it beautiful Cachin?

Ok, back to work, cooking, cleaning...

At this stage of my life

I had no idea about my future

and the worst thing of all

high school was almost over

we had to chose where to go
for our prom trip

And money... well, we had no money

A minute of silence for our friend
who died in 6

What?

… in 6-B

My dear friends...

we were 70 in the beginning

and now we are only left with 15

I wonder who took all our money

I felt obligated to organise
a voting system

We have two options for our
prom trip

First: Trip to Trujillo,
three days by bus

plus a visit to the Chan Chan ruins

from the outside only.

Second...

One week camping in Naplo beach

Let's vote

Who wants to go to Trujillo?

Me... my dear...

one

Who wants to go to Naplo?

We are going to Naplo Beach!!!

Naplo beach in November

A paradise

fifteen of us camping

Total freedom!

What's the first thing you buy
on a tight budget?

DRINKS of course!

In my days, drinks came already mixed.

and had strange names...

"Wait for me on the ground"

"Wobbly knees"

"Jump backwards"

"Off with your undies"

I didn't know why,
if all of us were boys!

And guess what happened...

We run out of drinks on the first night

Hey, soccer game...

... anyone?

But it doesn't end there...

On the third day...

... fifteen girls arrived from
a public school...

same budget as ours

actually they were fourteen...

plus the teacher

- What are you looking at?
never seen girls in your life?

... bunch of wankers!

The teacher loved drinking too...

... in the end we got her drunk too

Our prom party was at the beach

instead of orchids we had
seaweed

I felt like the King of the Universe

but it wasn't going to last

later on I learned that...

in spite of living in a
multicultural country

... people loved to differentiate
from each other

He's cutting in line!

"When I had to become a citizen"

Hey black dude...
go to the back of the line!

"It became more obvious than ever"

Smart ass peasant...

... the lamas line is over there!

There's a monkey in this one!

Open de door!

What's this fucking noise?
Get closer!

Get up!

Long hair, sideburns...
you will learn to be a man!

Son, how old are you?

Sixteen

Sixteen...

You see? This happen for mixing
everyone in one line

That's because there's no line
for pooftas.

How about I'll get in line
with your sister?

SHUT UP!

The first fifty come inside!

Order!

Time for medical exam

The girls have arrived!

Fuck off!

Silence!!

"Any white meat... is good for me"

Fuck you! wanna take it outside?

Silence!

- Get closer!
- How close boss.

Get closer! Shut up!

Back to back or we are screwed.

Get closer!

Get closer!!

Boss... is there a line for white people?

Name!

Jaime Culic

Race

White!

Hair

Light brown!

Eyes

Light brown!

Nose

Snub nose!

There you go Sir!

Name

Carlos Alcántara

Carlos Alcan tara

Alcántara Sir.

There's no accent here Sir!

Race

Mixed race!

But I'm white

Silence!

Hair

Black!

It's brown...

Dark brown!

Eyes

Black!

- They are brown Sir.
- Look towards the light

Dark brown... almost black.

Nose

Eagle nose

You are fucked... "mixed race"!

- Mixed race, your mum!
- My mum is white!

- Mixed race your Dad then!
- He's white too! Yugoslavian!

Culic

I was in shock...

... that was the start of my life
as a fucking idiot

Have you ever been a fucking idiot?

... when you deny who you are
and you want to be someone else

What an fucking idiot!

and that's how... my brother

Jaime Culic used to tease me
with my last name

and I used to get pissed off...

and at that time I was
around 16... 17 years old

I started to visit other suburbs

As you all know my neighbourhood
is in 20 Colonial Avenue

Let's go to Miraflores! yeah let's go!
Miraflores!!!

We always used to go to our
favourite beach "Cantolao"

All of us there

quiet pebble beach, no waves.

Let's go to a beach with sand!

Let's go to the beaches at Miraflores!

The bus took us along Colonial Av

get off at Colmena Av...

eat a red chorizo sandwich at the market

They were great!
they don't sell those anymore

You could use it as red lipstick

From there, we would catch another bus...

... along Arequipa Av all the
way to Miraflores

Seven idiots arriving
walking down the cliffs

Look, look at the beach!

Look at the cars down there!

Let's throw stones at them!

Savages!

We get to the sand...

... and it was the first time
we saw a sand beach

sand, sand! fucking sand!!!

Some of us were putting sand
in our pockets

Sand... precious sand!

And then...

Surfers!

First time we saw them in
real life

All muscles, tanned, blonde hair

Necklaces made of shells...
sunblock on the nose

Hawaiian shirts, O.P. brand

Billabong shorts

My friends: "Check out their clothes!"
Let's steal them!

What the fuck is wrong with you!!

All of us started to buy surf clothing

but nobody knew how to swim!

I'm not embarrassed to admit it

17 years old, my friend and I...

holding hands.. The Wave!

I would come out of the water
like this…

Instead of wiping the water backwards

We used to do it forward

That was me.

I wanted to be a surfer, but
I didn't have a real necklace

Go to the market...

10 cents worth of fish spine

wrapped in newspaper…

Mum: What's that?
nothing... just a present

boil the bones for 2 hours

clean them up…

fish line...

Done!

Ready to walk around the neighbourhood...

I was half-surfer

Whazzup dude!... Hi brother...

with my necklace...

I was a real surfer!

Then... Cats!

Smelling like fish!

I was missing the sunblock

Mum's first aid kit

nothing!

Alcohol, antifungus, haemorrhoid cream...

all sorts of things...

Fuck it - toothpaste.

Toothpaste to look like a surfer

cream on my nose, necklace...

Full surfer

Saying hello to everyone...

then... the menthol

my nose on fire!

Wazzup, howyougoin?

Horrible!
well, I was half-surfer...

until we saw them…

“The Goddesses”

All surfers were surrounded
by Goddesses…

made of flesh and bones...

We would give everything
to be next to them...

... but next to them were the Surfers

... and from that day onwards
next to all of them...

... were us!

haha... look at us!

Check out the fruit

Asu mare

check them out!

Ok, who dares to chat them up?

Paper, scissors, rock!

Ok

Paper, scissors... rock!

Learn from the master

move out of the way

Girls?

Hello...

Hi, that's great you are here!

Bring 1 ceviche and 2 beers
please

Anything else?

Some mussels too

They asked me to bring ceviche

Give them your sand flea!

Who's next?

Kiss your baby for good luck

What's wrong?

They are not that pretty

I'm next!

You need to be creative,
have imagination

Show us how to do it!

Hi

The sea... you in the sand,
how boring

How are you?

I'm good, a bit bored

What's happening, no one is surfing

the water is a bit flat...

and I'm not sure if I should go in...

What's your name?

Giussepe

Guissepe... Giussepe what?

Giussepi Richetti

Giussepi Richetti

from an Italian family?

Of course! Since I was born

I eat pasta every Sunday

Not in the mouth!

Would you have wax?

I just bought my board and...

I forgot the wax

- Gino, do you have wax?
- Sure

Next to my board

Next to his board...

Gino, isn't that your board?

Hey thief!! That's my board!

It was clear we didn't belong
to that world

Was he a thief? Fucking disgusting!

That's why my mum

had to take extreme measures
to secure my future

... or at least tried to do it

because I tell you one thing
Peruvian mothers...

(specially mine) are ready
to do anything for their children

Good morning

Hello, what a surprise!

How are you?

Looking exactly the same!

SOCORRO!

The cards

For fuck sake, not the postcards!
the tarot cards...

Just go away!

Shit!

I think I made a mistake

- I was told I could sell some belongings
- Let me see...

Ok good!
"Buy and sell" is in the next room

This way please

What a nice room...

... so many things

Oh... such a beautiful puppy

Do you like Totty...

she's not for sale…

but this one is

No thanks

stay... stay...

Are you sure about what you
told me about my son?

You told me he was going to
be famous.

Honey... are you going to ask,
or sell something?

Because this is the
"Buy and sell" table

The table for "Questions and answers"
is over there

How much for my ring?

not much...

around

$250,000 million?

Is that all?

Ok

I'll bring the bag with thousands of notes

Sad but true...

Mum, had to sell her wedding ring
to pay for my admission exam to UNI

Start... now!

Don't be gay!

Sir...

I'm have the enormous privilege
of having caught you

... at the precise moment
of committing plagiarism

- No... I wasn't...
- I saw you looking at the postulant

on your side,
to his admission exam

No, I have a nervous tick

Nothing. You stand up right now
Leave your exam and...

retire yourself
by the fact itself from this classroom!

You are making a mistake teacher

You are making the mistake
The door is that way

I fucked up

Of course I was young...

And still going though my Idiot phase

So my head was somewhere else.

Shit! Look at this!

Back in those days...

The place that I really
wanted to get in

(even without invitation)

- Hi girls... how are you?

was to the parties in Miraflores

Don't tell me you know them

No, when you arrive at a party
The first thing you do is

say hello to everyone

Girls like boys who know everyone

Sure? - Of course!
-Even if I do it?

Have a go

Hello

How good! It works!

Let me knock

You have to knock with confidence

-Hi
- Hello...

We are coming to the party

Madam, you are more beautiful
everyday

Thanks

What a hotties!

I think they are from the
"Carmin" TV show

No way!

Did you see?
The girl looked at me!

As she walked downstairs
she looked at me!

Who's going to look at you?
You fuck face!

Sorry, Oopss... sorry
Madam, sorry...

Look at the house!

What's that hole?

That's not a hole? that's the basement!

Like in the US movies!

Where do they hide the dead body?
In the basement

Where do I fuck your sister?
In the base...

Smart ass!!

Hi

Hi, later, later...

- You asked me to say hello
- But don't over do it!

I say hello this way...
and you the other way

Hello!

Look Look!

We made it!

What a mansion!!

This is like Miami!

Boys... some food?

Sorry this is made in Peru

I forgot to buy some when
I was overseas

Shame on me!

Who invited you?

That lady is hot!

beautiful!

Which "chalana"
brought this pair of cat fish?

- What? "Chalana"
- What's that?

A fishing boat!

Let's ask them to dance

Let's do it!

What race is he?
Andean? Chinese? Black?

They also look poor.
So don't waste your time

No, I came here to drink and eat

Come on! have some balls!

What are you talking about?

There are two of them!

They are looking at us

Stop staring because they
are going to come

and if they come, pretend

They are not looking

Look, I''m going to show her
my cheese doodle

You see? They are laughing

- I like his curly hair
- No, it must be a perm

Only black people have curls!

She has to be mine...

The two are beautiful...

... but the other one is annoying

I'm gonna ask her to dance

In your dreams!

Is now or never!

Show me

Hold my doodle.

Watch and learn.

- Really?
- Watch this...

And then, they decided
to play a song...

from my favourite band, Queen.

I tell my bro Culic, let's go!

No way. So I was on my own

I walked across the room

Nephew... where are you?

A good advice...

when you ask a girl to dance
never grab her by the fingers

because she can do this...

"I don't dance"

Go for the wrist!

Put you fingers on the main vein

quickly count 1, 2, 3 pulses

you can tell if she's ovulating or not

If she is... "fact of life" no one
can stop her

things will happen eventually...

I grab her and take her to the
dance floor

and I start dancing

And she was like...

She started to look somewhere else

and I continued

and she was like...

She wasn't looking at me

everything was Ok,
until I decided to sing

Awaru waruwa tutas!

Awaru waruwa tutas!

You imagine, she was from
a private school...

you laugh, because you know English

Awaru waruwa tutas

all my life I've been singing
like that!

I always sang...

Awaru waru watutas!

The song ended

she sat down, I walked back to my spot

so proud of myself

chest up, butt in the air

I said to my friend...
I think she's mine!

They are both talking about me

One was saying to the other...

Awaru waru watutas?

- Don't dance with him!
- But there's something about him

Next song she's mine...

and the next song… “Salsa"

Lucky me!

I walked towards her
she didn't want to dance

… and grabbed her by the wrist!

I took her to the dance floor

This hand goes here...

the other hand goes to her waist

This hand loose, and the other one
firm and pull towards you

She said "I don't dance very close"

Shut your mouth!

You start moving...

Now and then you have to mark
your territory – like this

Always

And she was like this

♪ On the corner of the old neighbourhood
I saw him go by... ♪

♪ with that gait the handsome have
when they walk... ♪

♪ always with his hands in
the pockets of his overcoat... ♪

♪ so they don't know in which one
carries the knife ♪

And somehow... she escaped

If she breaks free...

open your arms

If she goes to the left
you bring her to the right

she always has to be
in the centre

and dance around her

she will say no at the beginning

But then she will say yes
when she's dizzy

I kept dancing...

and then... she stopped looking at me

but little by little... she started to...

loosen up, and from time to time,
she would do...

A man sense something is happening...

she was loosening up slowly...

That's when I started to get closer

what's happening?
where are you going?

You know when a girl looks at you

for the first time...

She looked at me in the eyes

Beautiful isn’t it...
when a girl looks at you?

Guess what?

She looked at me and put
her arms around my neck

When she does that, nephew, you
immediately grab her waist!

There!

She turned around to
look at her friend

Her friend was:
What the fuck are you doing?!!!

And many of you know this phrase...

She turned around and said
to her friend...

"You go home, I'm staying here"

She was loosening up...
more and more...

she was doing something like this

Then she went to a corner...

and showed me that this girl
from a private school

could move like one from my neighbourhood

She did this...

The two of us... dancing this great rumba

Her friend was pulling her hair

Everything was going well, great rumba

until I decided to sing... again

Dance "Chulibi" in America

Dance "Chulibi" in America!

All my life I've sang that song like that
in my neighbourhood

Dance "Chulibi" in America

I thought "Chulibi" was
Ruben Blades' friend

That's why he was singing
"Dance Chulibi in America"

to a private school girl
who speaks fluent English

who sweats in English...

how embarrassing!

What happened?

Where were you?

- Toilet
- Toilet I swear

The girls? I think they are gone

How come? I don't know...

There they are!

I think they are going home

- Bye
- Going home already? - Yes

Where did you go?

I went to the toilet but...
I got locked up

What's your name?

Carlos, but they call me "Cachin"

Cachin... how funny!

-Why is it funny?
- I don't know... it's funny

and... how about you?

– Emilia.
- really?

How funny... a granma's name...
"Emilia"

Well, I have to go

Bye...

Are we going?

Bye "Chulibi"

Awaru waruwa tutas!

Awaru waruwa tutas!

Hey fuck off!

Emilia, she touched my heart

There's nothing worst than
meeting the love of your life

and not being able to
conquer her heart

Hello...

Come in!

Thank you

I have more things...
maybe you would like to buy

A food processor

I know you like stuffed animals

Cachin caught this bird

I can't give you much for this

Everyday there were less and less
things to sell in my house...

so I didn't have any option but

to pass the admission exam

Turn your exams, start now!

♪ Being at the University
is a crazy thing ♪

♪ Being at the University
is a monkey party ♪

But it looks like it wasn't enough

I was almost named
"lifetime applicant"

because I never passed the exam!

I was not a student, I had no job...

what else could I do?

do anything

Good morning lady, I'm here to offer
this method to study english

This is the revolutionary
master, duster, buster 2

With exchangable discs

It has a retractable cord

a simple push of a button...
and goes up like spaghetti

this method revolutionised the Vatican

The Pope learnt 11 languages...

If you buy now, I'll give you
a free battery for the blackouts

are you gonna buy?
because this is heavy as shit

"Gisela"

Mum my breakfast?

No job, no breakfast
this is not a hotel

Don't you dare to grab a piece
of bread. I counted them!

"Young man needed,
Good looking...

Hard worker"

"I need masseuse girl
with experience"

Me too

Don't touch the fucking bread!

"Great Peruvian Movie"
People needed, all ages and genders

"Fame is waiting for you
upstairs"

Come in, come in

Take a seat

I have to freshen up because
the air con is broken

Well we have to hurry up

because the group
is already full

to be honest..
many people are applying...

but you are the first one who has
what we are looking for!

Great and honest smile...

Look over there

Side ways...

But I look like an eagle

No, that's exactly what we are after!

Now... face away

Now turn around with
a surprised look

Now!

Angry

Happy

Worried

Scared

Now... angry and worried

Scared and sad

Very good!

There's freshness...
there's potential!

You a are lucky boy,
You are ready for the workshop

No, I came to do an audition for a movie

Of course it's a movie!

and you have the potential
to be the main character

Are you sure?

I can see it in your eyes...

the eyes are the mirror of the soul!

And the workshop... do I have to pay?

Of course!

But don't worry…

You don't have to pay anything today

… tomorrow you pay 50%
and we'll go from there. Ok?

Oh, Ok... I'm going to ask my mum

Your first class will start in 3 minutes

Out the door, to the right
pass the photocopier "Main Hall"

The teacher must be there

- Thank you so much
- Very well

What are you doing mum

I'm ringing Gisela

Shit! ... engaged, engaged!

Imagine how many people must be ringing

One day mum... one day...

Come on Cachin tell me

Are you going to be on TV?

No, it's a movie, not TV

It's not TV?... A movie!

The thing is... I had to do an audition

The Director told me
I had potential...

... but first I have to complete
a 3-month workshop

- We have to pay
- We will find a way

At the end they will chose
the main character

How exciting

I better don't eat
I have camera class today...

What if they do a close up?

and you can see egg in between my teeth!

Come here, my blessings!

I wish you the best!

Bye mum, bye...

And the other one?
Still upstairs!

Fernando! How long am I going
to wait for you?!!!

Bloody idiot!

I can't describe my feelings

If you are here it's because you
have passed a rigorous selection process

It was like...

arriving at the right place
at the right time

We are going to learn now
how to use the camera

This is the world I always
wanted to be

That's it!... this is the...?

C A M E R A

Very good!

Horizontal panning

Vertical panning

– Can you send me a kiss?
- Come on blow a kiss

with all our love, until next time.

Another call?

It's ringing!

Hello, hello?

- Hello Gisela!!!
- Hi Darling!

How exciting!

Turn down the volume first on
your TV please.

Ok, I've done it already.

- What's your name?
- Chabela, Chabelita they call me.

Chabelita welcome to the Show.

- Where are you calling from?
- I'm calling from "Cercado de Lima"

From "Unidad Vecinal Mirones"

A big round of applause! Bravo!

Bravo Chabelita

Chabelita you have the chance to win
200,000 intis

if you get the right combination

- Give me your first number.
- But that's too hard!

Can I throw the crossbow?

No, I think you are getting confused with
the other TV show with Rocky

He's not Rocky Belmonte

This is the midday show,
We are playing “The Vault"

Gisela... so sorry...

- I'm so nervous...
- Don’t worry, come on... go!

Can you help me please?

Look, I… come on, only this time

I can give you the first number
Only the first one...

The first number is... 94

Ok, the second number is 12,
my Cachin's birthday

12th of November

the third number... 7
which is my birthday

94... 12... 7

Open the vault….

What a pity... It didn't open.

Well, I wanted to congratulate you
for your TV show, it's so wonderful

... and I want to ask you a big favour
Giselita...

My son is studying "acting"

If you can give him some advice?

And maybe you can recommend him
to someone you know?

because you are artist... Giselita
My son's name is Cachin

Chabelita, for things to happen in
life you have to have faith...

I feel that Cachin will be very famous
Patience

Your son will be more famous
than all of us!

God bless you Giselita!

Thank you, thank you!

Bye Chabelita, until next time!

My mum built an altar full of saints
in my house

from Sarita Colonia, Melchorita,
The Lord of the Miracles...

Saint Martin, and the Lady of Chapi...

even Saint Judas Thaddaeus
"The saint of the impossibles"

I also prayed to the saints so
I could be a movie star

and it seemed like my prayers
were finally working

In the end, it doesn't matter how many
times you dream of it

when it happens you can't believe it!

Finally, there were only a few of us...

... but only one, the best one of the
National Movie Workshop

will be elected as the main character
for the movie

-What's your name?
- Carlos but they call me "Cachin"

I wanted to thank you all
and I won't let you down.

... and that was me.

Pretend English

Pretend English

Pretend English

Pretend Chinese

Pretend Chinese

Hey buddy... Hey mate!

Hey you!!

Get up! give your seat to the lady!

You've got not shame, get up!

Show your manners son...
Be a gentleman

Lady, have a seat... next stop please

- Get out of here!
- All right! ... Next stop!!!

Hi...

What do yo want?

- I'm here for the movie
- What movie?

The movie they are filming
I'm Jeremy, the main actor

There's no movie

But today is the first day of filming

or... have they postpone it?

I told you, there's no movie.

Should I put make up on or get changed

There's no movie

You don't understand, I was chosen
as the lead actor among 100 people...

My mum organised a party for me
last night

Where's the crew...
The Director, technicians...

They are all gone! Moved out.

They took all your money and run away

So there's no movie?

You want movie? go to the cinema!

Get out of here...
I hate the stupid look on your face

Get out I said!

The higher you are… the harder you fall

I went from believing I was
a movie star...

to be the most stupid of them all

My artistic career was over.

My life was like a leaf on the wind

and the wind was called "Monfu"

Hey kid, what's wrong with you?

what happened, they killed your cat?

Sell me one.

Put that away don't be stupid!

I want to buy

Hey Wolf, give him his lollie

- Keep on walking, I don't need bad luck
- Thank you

You can lose hope...
but you can't lose yourself

And that's exactly what
happened to me...

I went from idiot to drug addict

Yes, drug addict.

When one is young, you are supposed
to try to find yourself

but nothing worked for me
so why would I bother?

I was convinced the best thing
for me was to get lost

♪ Such poison in your eyes... ♪

♪ Such poison in your skin ♪

They have captured
Reynaldo Rodríguez López

The Peruvian Drug Lord known
as "The Godfather"

Marujita?

Oh hello...

Marujita what are you doing here?

I thought you were living with your
husband in Miraflores.

Husband? I don't have a husband!

"...Reynaldo Rodríguez López used to
pretend to be an Industrial Engineer...

The Peruvian Police Force declared
they followed him for several months...

Sometimes you want to be good

but life doesn't let you

and if there's something worst
than losing yourself...

... is losing the ones who love you

Hey kid... your mum

she's here to take you to school

That happened to me as well

Hey boy… come here

- Have this...
- Thank you

- Can I take it with me?
- Of course

- Bye
- Bye

Got any money?

I’ve got nothing!

You don't look well

Take this... a present from me.

Put it on

You look very funny

You too!

Bye

Hey!

What?

- Thank you
- Your welcome

Good morning lady,
how are you today?

beautiful day isn't it?

I'm here to offer you quality products

The famous "Tic Tac"

I have them in different colours...
red, blue, green, brown.

I have plenty of things for the kids...
Would you let me in?

Thanks!

Hi Mum...

- And you...?
- What about me?

Why are you up so early?

I've got things to do

Maybe God heard my prayers...

- Mum do you have money?
- No. Why?

and that?

For your daily expenses
I'm going to study...

Study... where?

... to the "School of life"

Hey kid! What are you doing around here?

Looking for my friends

Have you seen Lettuce... Big Tin?

No, they don't hang around here

- Hey kid, is it true?
- What?

You are going to be a clown?

Oh... yes

"Excuse me gentleman"

You are such an idiot!

- It's a workshop for clowns
- What?!

- Clowns.
- You mean "Stupid clowns"!

So from now on you want
to make people laugh

Get the fuck out of here, you loser!

Your friend has lost it!

But Monfu was wrong

I wasn't going to make people laugh

I was going to laugh at myself

because to be a clown you have to learn
to look at yourself

and laugh at what you see...

It's not about telling jokes
and pull funny faces

You have to defeat your
own fears…

and create a character…

but... which character?

I wasn't even sure who I was

I thought about mum

and all the mothers who have to
deal with an abusive husband

and the stupid way men think

When we believe women should be our slaves

and the dumber they are the better

and that's how "Machín" was born

to whom I'll be eternally grateful

Mum wasn't 100% sure about me
being a clown

but when she saw me on TV,
she didn't mind the red nose

or that I behaved like dad...

... at his worst

Her son was famous

She became my No 1 fan again

What was that for?

For everything you made me suffer

And now?

That one was… just in case.

That's my mum!

Hey my people!!

Hey brother! What's happening?
Got fleas!

…or are you flirting?

Hi everybody! What a night!
Nice to see you people!

Luchito! when did you get out of jail?

I'll be back

Dear brother!

I want to hear you sing!

Hey bro! What's up shorty?

How nice!

Loco, long time no see you!

Emilia!

What was she doing here?

This is getting good!

Hey bro, can I grab a beer?

The first time I saw her
I wanted to be blond

And now... I want to be black

Cachin... come, let's take group shot!

Later!

Are you looking for this?

What's up?

Thank you, cheers!

- What are you doing here?
- I was going to ask you the same

I always come here

- Who are you with?
- With my mum

- She's pretty isn't she?
- She is!

Just like you…

and isn't she your friend?

Chulibi!!!... Remember?

Awaru waruwa tutas!

How can I forget?

how embarrassing!

Awaru waruwa tutas

Now I know...

Can I tell you something?

- You look the same
- Thank you

beautiful as always

From the day I saw you
I've been thinking of you

- Really?
- I see you everywhere

Me too

Really?

I see you everyday on TV!

Ah... spark of humour!

careful you may catch fire!

So... you come here to look or dance?

No, I first have a look and then dance

You already looked too much

Do you want to dance?
Of course!

Let's go!

In the end...

The woman of my life...

The one I thought was unreachable

The rich girl

The one I thought would never like me

because I was from a humble
neighbourhood...

... ended up being more humble than me

Well, this story is coming to an end

but life in my neighbourhood goes on...

... beautiful as always

Going back to your neighbourhood
means seeing your mates

Everyone who knew you
since you were little

The ones who greet you with a kiss…

and who won't forgive you if miss
Saturday's soccer game

To return to your old neighbourhood
means visiting your mum

and nothing can make me happier

than giving her the best!

and it also means seeing my
best friend "El Culi"

After all these years he's still
teasing me as always

There is "Big Tin" – he was shit
at soccer when he was little...

... he's still shit today

"Lettuce" now he looks like
a "chupa chup"

and Johnny... He stopped hanging
around with Monfu and...

became an actor...
who would've guessed it?

and my brother Fernandito
against all the odds...

... became a stripper

The one I see more often is Ronnie...

... he became my right hand

He's always close to me

and today... is the last show of
"ASU MARE" after 4 years

Cachin

The last show Ronnie

That's right

- Is my Mum here?
- She was the first one to arrive

Thank you Ronnie

No, thank you!

Thank you mum!

My mum with her knitting sticks...

Sit down! you sit down!

All of us at the table

and my mum... sit down! and you
sit down! fucking sit down!

Stop hitting your brother!

No really... don't think mum was like that

She was much worst than that

She did things that left
a mark in my life

There is my mum!

Big applause to my mum

I adore my wife's friends,
they are so intense

... from her high school

Everything is... "I can't believe you!!!"

Am I right?

What's happening to you?!!!!

Nephew... how old are you?

13 years old!

They call him "honey"

"because he's always sticky"