Fighting revenge porn | Nyika Allen | TEDxABQ

Today’s young adults are immersed in an internet culture that brings with it host of new social and legal challenges. When an ex-lover posted compromising photos of Nyika Allen online, she felt traumatized, ashamed, and defenseless. This difficult experience transformed her into an advocate for all victims of revenge porn, working with policy makers to ensure that all future targets of this abusive practice have the support they need and the power to fight back.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

I have a question for everyone.

Who in here has a smartphone?

A lot of you.

I love my smartphone.

It's like a daily movie
of pictures, inspirations, updates.

Everything I could ever want.

I feel so connected.

Now, just imagine:

It's 10 A.M., New Year's Day.

You had an incredible night before,
with your friends, your families,

talking about your New Year's resolutions

and how you get to start
this year with a clean slate.

Everything is wonderful.

When all of a sudden you receive
a Twitter notification.

Open it up and you see

a photo of yourself, naked,

staring back at you,

up on the Internet

for all the world to see.

That happened to me.

Posted by my ex-boyfriend,

on January 1st, 2015.

My whole world collapsed beneath me

in a matter

(Snaps fingers)

of a second.

Can you imagine how you would feel?

Can you imagine?

I felt a tsunami of feelings rush over me.

I felt shame, guilt, remorse,

anger, fear, sadness.

So many thoughts and feelings.

I was a mess,

and the only thing that made sense

was the fast, heavy beating of my heart.

I felt so vulnerable,

so exposed to the world.

I tried everything.

I called the police,

I Googled until my fingers hurt.

One dead end after another.

The Earth opened up,

and I was falling

into an endless black hole.

For the first time in my life,

suicide seemed like the only option.

758 followers on Twitter,

and I'm sure many of you have
more than that,

so you know how this stuff works.

I saw the gallery of faces staring at me,
just like you guys are staring right now.

What did they think of me?
What do you think of me?

I didn't know what to do.

I remembered that I had
recently read an article

about a crime, called "revenge porn."

Yeah, revenge porn.

And suddenly, I'm the victim?

I've always been one of those,

"That will never happen
to me," kind of people.

Until it did.

Twitter could have helped me,
but only gave me a simple complaint form,

with a two-week response time.

The police could have helped me,
but revenge porn wasn't a crime.

And the one who always makes
everything better in my life,

my mother,

could only try to comfort me.

What are you thinking right now?

Was this my fault?

Did you ever think that
all of these phones,

all of this cameras,

could be used to hurt us?

Probably not.

I sure didn't.

But why not?

Two words: trust and consent.

We trust that our partners
would never take photo of us

without our consent.

In the age of the Internet, we use text,
email, and social media,

to connect, to communicate,
and even to express intimacy.

Electronic intimacy , it's still intimacy,

in a world where so many of us
struggle to connect.

But the problem is that our laws
haven't caught up yet.

So, what are the laws that prevent people
from harming each other on the Internet?

Unfortunately, there aren't many.

Yes, free speech is wonderful,

but revenge porn and online
harassment are not.

They're assaults against real people,

and deserve real consequences.

(Applause)

Some of you may think,
"Talking about a women's issue," right?

But this is everyone's issue.

This crime sees no gender, race, age,
religion, or sexual orientation,

and these actions don't always
have to be vengeful to make them wrong.

People post this stuff
for money, popularity,

or even as a sick joke.

That's why this crime is more
appropriately called

"non-consensual pornography."

(Applause)

The fight against non-consensual
pornography since my incident

just this past New Year's Day
has been phenomenal.

Companies like Google, Twitter,
and Facebook have finally taken action

in their practices, their policies,
and in their efforts

to help the victims.

Unfortunately, their efforts
are not enough.

We need to protect ourselves,
and especially our children,

for how to deal with an attack.

We teach our kids many things in life,
like how to escape the house from a fire,

or how not to talk
with strangers, but now?

We need to give them ways to cope
with this nightmare as well.

You want hear about nightmares?
Collecting this kind of evidence.

Victims need to take
screenshots of the incident,

provide the exact time, date, and URL,
and even ask a police officer

to request the identity and the IP address
of the person who posted it,

from the website they posted it on,

just so you have the chance
to prove yourself in court.

For me,

it was almost impossible
to even know what to do,

let alone do it,

while I was in shock.

Fighting for legislative
and technological change isn't enough.

We need to create a standard
for Internet decency.

This incident shamed me,
but I was not silenced.

I was asked to tell my story

at the Capitol Building
in Santa Fe, New Mexico,

during the past legislative session.

People need to understand
the issue of revenge porn,

because victims aren't fools.

And perpetrators are using the Internet
to violate people's trust and consent.

No one should have to
go though what I did.

House Bill 142:

"Unauthorised distribution
of sensitive images,

makes the publications of such images
a misdemeanour in a court of law."

The bill passed both the House
and the Senate unanimously.

(Applause) (Cheers)

And on March 25th, 2015,
Governor Susana Martinez

signed the bill into law.

(Applause)

Making New Mexico now one of 24 states

with some form
of revenge porn legislation.

You guys remember, when
all of this was happening to me,

I wanted to die.

Instead, I found my strength,

and this New Year's Eve,

I will welcome in the new year
knowing that no victim

of revenge porn will have
to face this nightmare alone.

And that is knowledge worth fighting for.

(Applause) (Cheers)